Men, should I cancel the friend request?

[Anonymous]

i added this guy from my class where I would sit near him, he knows who I am.. like not by name but he used to stare at me and look away when I would notice or play it off. we have mutual friends. but I was to afraid to say hi.. cause I heard he was a jerk and reserved with people he didn't know. so I thought I would add him.. for the summer. but I've been pending.. and I'm hitting close to a week.. like four days? any way, he prob hit the "not now" button right?

It summer that's why I added him. I thought I had nothing to lose, but it looks like I did - I might not see him next year he is a year ahead in uni so I don't know if we will have the same class again.

[utterlyconfused]

Talk to him in real life first. He has no idea you like him. Even if he has a crush on you, he might not want to have you as a Facebook friend because he doesn't actually know you in real life... yet. He might not be a jerk, he might just be pretty closed off to people he doesn't know. I'm like that. If I had a crush that I didn't know in real life at all, then I wouldn't let her add me to Facebook either.

[Faithsummers]

did I ruin my chances then? I was just trying to be friendly.. cause some people just add people in there class. I dunno. now I feel dumb.

[utterlyconfused]

No, you haven't ruined your chances at all. :)

Sure some people do that, but some people don't. He may just think that you're going to add him as a friend then never communicate with him like so many people do on Facebook. He probably won't think poorly of you for it though, so don't worry.

Your best bet is to just start talking to him before/after class, then take it from there.

[Faithsummers]

yeah I hope I have class with him again. it just it summer now ( uni four months ) so I won't see him until September if is see him at all! I'm just in Facebook limbo right now since he hasn't flat out ignored or accepted :/

[ImSoSozzled]

Is his profile private? Because if you can't tell, he might just not have gotten online. Some guys just aren't that into Facebook. I would give it a little bit longer and not worry about it.

[Asker]

ok thanks .. well I can't see his wall.

[ZenQueen]

its just Facebook. talk to him in real life and if he blows you off, then he doesn't like you.

[Faithsummers]

its the summer now, that why I did it. I'm not sure if I will see him next year.

[ZenQueen]

Try and get in contact with him through your mutual friends. If you talk to his friends you can find out more about him, and you can have someone ask him if he likes you.

[Faithsummers]

yeah the only mutal friend I have - they went to the same high school- and they didn't hang in the same circle but they do talk and know each other. She said she would introduce me, but it like not the same since there not really close friends. should I remove the request then?

[Anonymous]

face to face, not face book...

[Faithsummers]

it's summer now! that's the only reason why I did it. I am not sure if I will see him next year so I tried to do something about it. He prob not going to accept it right? I just waited a whole semester cause, I was shy and I always thought if I guy liked you they would come talk to you, all he did was stare and look away. so I was wrong right?

[Opinion Owner]

I don't know all the details. He could have a feeling anywhere from, "it's my lucky day I don't want to mess this up" to "why's this girl stalking me". =P In my opinion, you should always talk to someone face to face first. You are a few years younger than me, and many people your age where raised by the internet. Even though I was on a computer since I was old enough to sit upright, I had a different experience then you.

[Opinion Owner]

You're age group has a different psychology about relationships and technology. None the less, I stick with the fact that if you were interested, and wanted something to happen, you should have shown some initiative face to face. A guy may not be into you right away, but if he has a decent conversation with you, feels some chemistry, and likes you're personality, that feeling can change real quick. It doesn't mean you need to ask for his number, or ask him out. Just general chit chat.