Why don't people accept that racial preference is racist?

[Anonymous]

People treat those they're attracted to favorably and this leads to unfair behavior towards women of color. That is racist.

Updates

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www.sciencedirect.com/.../S0022103118307819

Updates

+1 y

It is sexual racism.

[Screenwriter]

Well, the fact is, the WORLD is racist because of the colonialization of the planet by white Europeans. So anyone NOT a white European has been considered "less than."

This is obvious in all cultures around the globe. Koreans get plastic surgery to make their eyes "round". In India, fair-skinned Indians are considered more beautiful, especially women. Because white Europeans imported Africans as slaves, the world has negated African-based beauty: dark skins, kinky hair, wide noses, big lips.

Native Americans were ON the land Europeans coveted, weren't Christian, weren't cooperative, in general, so the Spanish, French, Portugese, Dutch then the Americans wiped them out, first by the sword and gun, then by the diseases they carried to the natives who had never been exposed to and had no natural immunity to.

Africans were glorified dray-animals since the 1500s. It has only been 158 years since the Emancipation Proclamation, and 66 years since Brown vs. the Board of Education.

Chinese laborers on the railroads of the 1860s West were paid less and treated marginably better than blacks. Japanese Americans were put in internment camps during WWII and their homes, businesses and properties confiscated 80 odd years ago. No German Americans were interned. Or Italian Americans. Because, again, they were European descendents. Not "others."

Eventually, these historic issues will blur into the melting pot and people will see people as human and their differences as unique, not "other" or "less than."

But, choosing someone of your own racial, cultural and religious backgrounds is "safe." THAT is a giant factor behind such choices. You don't buck tradition, parents or baffle friends.

And everyone practices this "racism" because of the history of colonization. It surfaces in colorism, hair texture preferences and so on. It will only die off as people choose each other less because of tradition and more because of attraction. There are more intercultural/interracial/pan-religious couples now than there have ever been.

The wheels of change turn slowly. Remember in the early '60s in the South there were separate bathrooms and WATER FOUNTAINS; few people of any color went to college. The "Loving" couple were hounded by authorities and run out of town because they were married. Those things don't happen anymore. It's bit by bit.

It won't happen in our lifetimes. Maybe by the time our great-grandchildren come around. Look how much it's changed already.

[Juxtapose]

Uhhh Asians are about sixty percent of the global population so that is not possible.

A lot of Asian countries can actually be quite xenophobic.

[Screenwriter]

@Juxtapose Colonizers went to every continent. Who colonized India? That's part of Asia. The Brits colonized parts of China, Taiwan. They've exploited a large part of Asia, including the Phillippines. Xenophobia is called for, wouldn't you say?

Wouldn't you fear and mistrust people who've used your people and land? A lot like Native Americans' land was co-opted and used by Euro Americans. The same way Australian natives' land was co-opted and Pacific Islanders' land was used, again, by the sailing Brits, French, Dutch, Spanish and Portuguese.

[Juxtapose]

Westerners aren't any different from other civilizations. China is trying to take over Taiwan and Japan helped Germany try to take over the world.

Xenophobia isn't from victimization, it is because Asian cultures, especially Japan, want to maintain their way of life. They are just as xenophobic towards Africans as they are towards those from Norway.

[Screenwriter]

@Juxtapose Xenophobia is fear of/prejudice against foreigners. It's not about race. The Germans don't like the French, the French don't like the Dutch, the Dutch don't like the Norwegians. That is about cultural differences and behaviors in certain necks of the woods.

Racism is about groups of people being clumped together because of skin color, hair texture, facial features, eye shape and those people being treated as less than the dominant culture. Even though there are more "technical" Asians on the planet, the subcontinent of India has been handled differently from Japan, Korea, China, Taiwan and Malaysia and the Philippines. Also because of " appearance."

The cultures of all those areas are different and can't be clumped together simply because of the way the people look or the section of the planet they come from. But this is what racism does. Africa IS a continent, but though the people there have darker skins, somewhat like India, again, the cultures, reilgious practices vary broadly from tribal groups to tribal groups, from city to rural areas. Calling the people who look similar as one thing is as foolish as calling Russians Swedes. On the surface they might look similar, but culturally they are as different as black and white.

So racism involves much more than and is more complicated than racial preference. It is an over simplification of human differences and a denigration of human value. Why? Because it benefits the dominant culture. So, people develop racial preferences based on the dominant world culture. Since thte 1400s that has been white Europeans who developed sea power and claimed land after land and dominated people after people.

And to survive they imposed their w ill a nd culture OVER everyone else's.

[Hangry06]

I consider racial preferences and fetish to be the same.
Most things around us are build on racism. Accept it and move on

[Aethereal]

Because they refuse to understand the difference between "preference" and "prejudice". Here is an example:

In a choice between Coca Cola and Pepsi, we each have a "preference" for one or the other. In most cases though, if someone who prefers Pepsi can't get it, they will get a Coca Cola instead. This is preference; you favour one thing/feature in something/someone more, but this doesn't prevent you from enjoying the other for some other reason e. g. I prefer Pepsi, but I'd rather drink a cold can of Coca Cola than drink a warm can of Pepsi.

Using the above example again; "prejudice" is when the person who likes Pepsi would rather drink nothing than drink Coca Cola (or something else). This kind of stance is usually taken because of (strongly) held beliefs about the alternative. Prejudice is almost always supported by stereotypes.

Let's bring it back to dating. Dating is not as simple as choosing a drink. There are a large number of features to consider in a potential partner. As such, we tend to have a number of preferences and prejudices.

It is preference when you want to date someone of a specific "race", but would be just as willing to date from a different "race" after considering other factors e. g. personality, other physical features.

It is prejudice (i. e. racist in this case) when one chooses to ignore every other feature of a person in order to disqualify them solely based on their "race"; Essentially implying that no one of that specific "race" could ever possibly have a combination of physical and personality features that would make them attractive as long as they are of that "race". Doesn't that sound sick? Each "race" has hundreds of millions of representatives and yet someone believes that "race" alone cancels out every other possible attractive feature about someone else (including people he/she has never met).

People who keep insisting that their racism is "preference" either do not understand the term, or they want to be racist without being called so (as that is held in a negative view).

[Aethereal]

Based on a few of the comments I've read, I feel that this goes beyond a mere misunderstanding of the term "preference" and in many cases is also due to blatant stereotyping in general:

The problem here (at least for me) is far from some silly insistence that someone who doesn't find me attractive should suck it up and date me. That is an absurd expectation, and not too different from nice guy/girl mentality. The problem is with generalization; the implication that simply being part of a "race" (or any large group of human beings for that matter) automatically makes you unattractive.

Let me use an example; Suppose I had claimed that I only found white girls attractive. What does it say about me if I started claiming that Meghan Markle (whom I had previously thought was white, and thus attractive), was now unattractive just from learning that she was Black? What if I had been dating a black or Asian girl who looked white to me? How is it not racist if a harmless piece of information about her DNA is enough to immediately kill off any attraction I had for her? If her physical features and personality that I had found attractive didn't change, doesn't that mean that my only problem is with her DNA?

[Aethereal]

What makes "racial preference" racist is the false and ignorant generalization implied in the common reason for the statement "I don't date X or Y race". The reason of "I don't find members of X race attractive" implies that despite the unique physical and mental characteristics of a person, the mere fact of them being a member of a specific "race" (and this can even be extended to membership in specific nationalities, religions, political views, etc.) makes them unattractive by default. Doesn't that sound ridiculous? If someone made one of the statements below and claimed it was "preference", would you feel that was right?:

- "I don't date Germans because their country was responsible for the holocaust"
- "I don't date Americans because they voted for Trump"
- "I don't date Muslims because they are terrorists"
- "I'm not attracted to people with the letter S in their surname"

In my opinion; passing automatic judgement on someone (you've never met) based on something they are not responsible for, is untrue, and/or that does not take away from their value as a human being is discriminatory. It will never be "just preference".

I will reiterate my original answer: Preference has an open mind, Prejudice does not.

[Screenwriter]

This has some traction. But racism is so embedded, so supported by institutions people do not even recognize it as such. This is what critical racial theory discusses. I've been reading a selection of the works for about a week or so now. It's pretty heady, stirring scholarship.

People have been batting around about how racist CRT is, which is rather sad and amusing and I'm sure those who are saying this haven't been reading about CRT. I urge all those who are thinking about he discussing these issues to open your brain cells up for some fresh air and scholarship. I'm ready to take a college course on it. It is fascinating! Cheers all!

[ohshee]

I look at it like this God made us all with 97% of the same DNA the last 3% adapt with our parents genes with extreme weather conditions harsh elements on this planet Earth that last 3% that God gave us was a common sense type thing so we can adapt to any surroundings on this planet Earth and if you think about it not one of us probably has the same skin pigment as the other we are probably all different just because we're white or black doesn't mean we'll wait or black every color is different so that means we are all individually different every single one of us it's winter time I will start getting whiter and whiter when summer time comes I will start getting darker and darker and to anybody that's racist out there get a life. Or get the fuck off the planet

[DiegoO]

Reduce that to 1%, because we are 99% similar. The 1% only represent the mutations related to enviormental adaptation (skin color, height, facial features... Etc).

[ohshee]

Wouldn't it be funny if we got to come to Earth to live out a fantasy is not all being the same that we were being rewarded because we are good little aliens and everybody looks the same so we get to come to Earth for this longevity of life we learned what we learned. we d i e, and then we go back to where we came from where everybody looks the same. Is the shameful if this was the truth. And everybody that wish they were different color I wish they were different people are were part of the problem and not the solution what a waste of time you could have been living life happy and experiencing what it is like to be different from each other but now you get to go back being all one color everybody looks the same. there is no individuality it's like no matter where you go are each person that you see. It's as if you look into the mirror with every person it's in front of you. We are all made of water and atoms. Atoms broke down equals Energy energy Never Dies. So when we leave this planet our Temple our body close to the ground but our energy gathers everything we've ever said and then on Earth it gathers our soul or spirit and we become this little ball of energy and it takes us to wherever we go next

[ohshee]

I really need to start using punctuation

[Hangry06]

It's actually 99.9%

[ohshee]

Well then that means it's even better that way

[joesheks]

@DiegoO and @Hangry06 And we’re 99% similar to chimps — see how much a 1% difference makes — we’re likely 80% similar to dogs. The 1% is not just pigmentation — race is more than pigmentation. There’s differing levels of intelligence and creativity in that 1%, which explains why some continents are basket cases. It also explains why the 3rd world, while disdaining those of European ancestry, seem to really love moving to European nations - Australia, NZ, US, Canada and Europe.

[DiegoO]

@joesheks Um. Let me clarify, my bad. We are 99.9% identical to each other as humans, and we share a 99.0% of genes with chimps and bonobos.

Your notion ignores lot of things. Europe and Asia are in reality one continent. We can even include Africa in that huge land mass. If you analyze well the history of humanity, those societies that stayed in touch (peacefuly or not) with several other societies, evolved more because of the exchanges of knowledge, technology and culture they experienced.

No society ever evolved that much, in isolation. For example, The Americas was almost isolated from the rest of the world. Because of that isolation the European empires took over easily, with the help of native tribes that were their allies. Those empires didn't build up alone, they were a result of historical events that involved wars and comercial trading. Plus, the latitude of Europe and Asia, doesn't varie much; it goes from west to east, east to west. It means, chinese farming plants, could have been transported to what's Turkey, and from there to the rest of Europe. So there is a nutritional aspect, that helped raise up the western and eastern civilization.

The Americas migration always have went from north to south or south to north. In that order the geographical and enviormental variation can be easily noticed. In the Americas, the population wasn't able to interconected like how euroasia did.

I'll done there, insisting that we are all equaly humans, with no one superior than the other because of ethnic differences.

[OlderAndWiser]

If someone is not attracted to people outside of their race, that means they are racist? So, if someone of another race is not attracted to you, you can call them racist instead of just dealing with the fact that they weren't attracted to you. How easy that makes your life.

You need to define how you are using the word "racism." I believe that racism is a conscious attitude that one race is inferior than another simply because of their race. If I see girls from another race and I am not attracted, I am not thinking that they are inferior. Hell, I think Angelina Jolie is unattractive, but that just means I am not attracted to her. It doesn't mean I have passed judgment on her in any way.

Should I pretend that I am attracted if I am not? If you like guys who are tall, can you consciously make yourself become attracted to guys who are short?

This is just bullshit from the woke crowd attempting to instill social conformity as a part of their dystopian vision for the future.

PS I am Caucasian and living with my Chinese girlfriend. Call me racist and I'll call you names, okay?

[SparklyMop7]

I applaud you, my guy. The woke crowd is bullshit and should be quashed

[UCantBlockMe101]

@SparklyMop7 The woke crowd need to be all put in a slaughterhouse then fed to pigs

[aWes0MeNeSs]

Agreed!

[friendlypelican]

my favourite commenter strikes again with the hard truth. respect 🙏

[Physics-Man]

His username lives up to its meaning!

[OlderAndWiser]

@Physics-Man @friendlypelican I appreciate your kind comments!

[MCheetah]

It's discriminatory but not racist. Me being black and being rejected OFTEN by women o all races, I used to think it was, too.

People are not obligated to date or sleep with you. And if any MAN said this, they'd instantly be labeled an incel. Yes, people saying they would NEVER date someone of race X is discrimination, but "racism" would be saying they think all people of race X are inferior, disgusting, and "beneath" them. It involves hate and malice.

Me, for example am not attracted to men. That doesn't make me homophobic. Me not being attracted to transpeople doesn't make me transphobic either (not that that term even means anything anymore; everything is "transphobic" nowadays). And me not wanting to date Muslim women because I think Islam is a horrible and violent ideology may or may not make me "Islamophobic", but I don't think it does, because I condemn the ideology, not the people practicing it since birth who don't know anything else but what they've been taught since childhood.

But like I said, it's some real Femcel level energy to think anyone is obligated to sleep with or date you. Men who'd think this would get shamed and harassed into oblivion. Besides, women are the ones who re more selective and picky with their partners, anyway. A man is under 6'0" tall and you could easily claim women for being Heightist or "Shortphobic" for not being interested in them. Well, I identify as 6'5", bitches! Now have sex with me or you're a bigot, LOL!

Anyway, I'm pretty sure I know what Lv. 2 "woman of color" posted this.

[Juan_Curious]

By racial preference do you mean sexual attraction or laboral and social preference?

If you talk about sexuality, well, every person has his own preferences. There are people who are attracted to blonde or dark haired people, to blue or brown eyed people, to black or Asian or caucasian people, to short or tall people. Sexual attraction has NOTHING to do with respect! Although I would say most people are very open tastes. I have been attracted to women from all races, because they were sexy as hell, no matter their hair, eye or skin colour.

Now, if you are talking about social preference (p. ex. excluding a person of different race or origin from the group of friends, without any reason other than their appearance) or laboral discrimination (not hiring a person of different race for that same reason) in that case it certainly is racism.

Finally, I remember a question in some social media asking if black women would date a white man. Most of them were positive, however, there were others who found it a terrible idea, assuring that they would never find a white man attractive enough. As a white man I felt excluded, specially because there are many black women I find attractive and I would date them, but, you know, at the same time I reminded to myself that every person has the right to make his/her own choices without being discriminated for that.

[DJB72]

I don't find some women attractive. I'm not racist because I don't find female Australian aboriginal women physically attractive. My wife has a friend who's Indian. She's a nice enough person but I don't find her physically attractive. It's not because I'm racist. I'm just not sexually attracted to those women who share certain stereotypically Indian features.

Racial preference in attraction has fuck all to do with being racist. One is how you're biologically wired while the other is how you've been brainwashed by the people and culture you're around.

Cite all the bullshit studies you like. They still won't get me turned on looking at stereotypically Indian women. Or aboriginal.

Racism is a school of thought. A totally fucked up one that suggests melanin in the skin makes someone more or less worthy of a higher rung on a social ladder.

Not getting a hard-on looking at Asian porn just means you're not attracted to those women sexually. That doesn't make you a racist any more than going to church makes you a Christian or sitting in a garage makes you a car.

[Anonymous]

That's not being racist. I look at it like this. You are not God. You don't know who you're going to end up with. Although some people don't listen to Him. You can say "My type is Asians" or "I don't like white girls because they are basic".

When you are referring to people of color you need to say America or the place YOU live. Where I'm from we respect people's choice of dating. I live in a country where every person is black and about 20% white. I'm black but I'm not african-American because I'm not from the USA. That's why I said you need to be specific on America or anywhere else.

Like the thing with cultural appropriation. Where I'm from (AGAIN NOT THE USA) when we see a white girl with braids we actually love to see it. We think it's cute and they look cute as well with it. WE don't have a problem with it. Same with white boys rocking dreads we don't have a problem with it. We don't mind and we don't care. Again where I reside there is no form of bashing towards people of color. if a boy simply may prefer Latinas or black girls or anything like that. We just mind our business that's all.

In America though, social media has shown me exactly what you're speaking about. To conclude I don't think it's racist if you prefer Brazilians or Black girls or black girls over white girls unless you make any racial comments about either race. If not, then I don't think it's racist.

[MCheetah]

You are a wise teenager. Yes, all this "everything is racist" BS is exclusively a Western thing. Specifically, the US. These people are so isolated from the rest of the world and don't know how good they have it. It's embarrassing to see my fellow Americans say such idiotic ignorant crap like OP.

[Asker]

It's impossible for people to not have racist opinions about other races and have a racial preference. Racial preferences occur because of racism.

[Opinion Owner]

if a guy says "I don't like black girls (Bashes them) because I like white girls instead (Uplifts)" Your say that's racist.

Oh I see, but it's okay to say "I don't like Asian girls (And bashes them) But I like black girls (Uplifts them)? That's how social media paints it out to be.

Either way, it's wrong. And for you to say it's impossible for people to not have racist opinions about other races is you painting every male and female to be the bad guy when being attracted to a race which they are not in. Because some black girls do prefer black guys over white guys because black guys are more "Spicy" don't think I haven't seen IT on social media. This leads me to my last point. y'all seem to be okay with interracial relationships when it's a Black woman and a White man but it's a problem when it's a white woman and a black man. Painting white women to only want black men for Biracial babies when it's not true. like love doesn't exist and he didn't actually fall in love with her and she didn't actually fall in love and love him for who he is.

[Asker]

I don't like when any race is bashed because that is racist but mostly it's black women who get bashed so sometimes when they're praised people like it because it is a rare thing to see that.

[Opinion Owner]

I don't think so. I think all races get bashed equally. Sadly. In parts of the world, which is not the USA, people other than black women or black people, in general, get bashed and stereotyped. You can't just say that ''Black women get bashed more" Speak for your country. What may happen in America will not happen anywhere else. That's why speak on behalf of where YOU are from. This ends the discussion.

[Sarahr123]

Tbf I have seen some really good looking Black, Asian and White men. I am generally more drawn towards Indian (all south Asians - includes Afghanistan/India etc) simply for the look but probably because they’re familiar and look like me and what’s familiar is what we find comfort in.

However that is not to say I have never found other types of men good looking. I think some Black men I have seen around were very good looking (no famous examples I can think of) just people I know of personally.

I find White men attractive if they have dark hair and preferably brown or grey eyes and an olive undertone/light-medium skin tone that is similar to my own. I don’t find pale men attractive though in general. And I don’t like blonde hair in men especially.

[Sonorous]

Partiality is always around us. Every day, we use it in even the tiniest of micro-actions. So "preference" always implies that unfairness is involved. How else would we distinguish between what we like and what we don't like?

And such things aren't fixed, black-and-white, linear, or otherwise. There's a range and things can be dynamic relative to what they're being compared to. Which opens the possibility of someone having a preference & not being racist.

I believe they can be mutually exclusive because someone can have a preference and not be prejudiced. So if they don't have any unfair opinions or actions based on unfounded beliefs, then I believe that the preference is justifiable and should not be considered immoral or illegal.

[Sonorous]

I'm also open to debating the things that define someone's right. Aka a moral or legal entitlement to have or obtain something or to act in a certain way.

[Asker]

Doesn't having a preference mean a person is prejudiced?

[Sonorous]

I believe that it can, but not in every circumstance.

For instance, having a preference for broccoli doesn't mean that you have any unfounded opinions of all other differently flavored vegetables. It also doesn't mean you have any irrational beliefs/unfounded opinions, as if the broccoli's intrinsic worth or value was judged to be higher simply because you prefer it.

As a result, you can have a solid foundation/reasoning for having a preference/conclusion. Though these can be involved, it's not only limited to having prejudiced reasoning or none at all.

[Asker]

People who have a racial preference generally don't treat everyone equally. They frequently say others are inferior.

[Sonorous]

Now you can use people like me as an exception. I'm an African American guy & I have had many crushes on black or brown girls & women over the years, but I notice I have a preference for lightskinned or mixed hispanic women & white women. Specifically ones with brown or black hair. So most of my crushes tended to fit that standard over the years without me realizing it for a while. But even with that preference, if I was into the whole dating thing, I'd be open to dating a black woman. I don't see anyone as innately inferior or superior because of my preference.

[Asker]

You think they're inferior that's why you don't prefer them.

[Sonorous]

Not innately or objectively. As I said above, making any kind of decision is unfair. So if one chooses to have those negative connotative words, then it's best to fill in what's left out. Add the context. Which would be that I only personally view them (not of my own free will) as inferior to others only in relation to my personal mate selection preferences. But since I'd date one (if I was into the dating games) I technically don't view them as being that inferior or lower on the spectrum (of my dating preferences)

Were biological creatures that don't exactly have the most free will so I really don't know why I have these preferences. But it doesn't mean that I view anyone as being innately inferior. For instance, if there were two women left on earth. One that was my type & one that was. There are still many other factors that play a role. Things like social compatability or if I'm attracted to their face or body. So I could easily find the girl that's not really my type far more attractive than the other girl in many circumstances. Which reminds me exactly what I said above about things not being linear, fixed, black and white, etc.

[Subarugirl]

Hold on just a second... so having a preference on what you find attractive is sexual racism? So wanting a man who is taller than me with green eyes makes me racist against everyone who doesn't look like that... I mean that would makes sexist too then since I am not into women...

[TheSpaceGnome]

Actually no.

1. People treat friends and family different than others and thats normal, being attracted to a person usually means you would like them to be added into one of those catagories.

2. The assumption that only dark skinned women are effected by sexual preference, is racist and sexist, as it assumes innate inferiority based on race and gender, which is incorrect.

3. The facial and body features of each race are present in individuals of each other race. Human sub species are not as drastically different from eachother as you claim.

4. Sexual preference is not a choice, it is a response to an individual's genetics interacting with stimuli, ie no one gets to choose who they find attractive, anymore than they get to choose what food tastes good in their mouth. Which means sexual preference can't be racist.

[Asker]

Racial preference generally rules out women of color particularly those with darker skin.

[TheSpaceGnome]

You keep saying that, but it's not accurate.

[Asker]

Generally people prefer white and Asians which are both lighter skinned than others so it is accurate.

[TheSpaceGnome]

Also not accurate, generally speaking most people have pretty varied tastes in features.

[Asker]

medium.com/.../okcupids-dataset-reveals-inequalities-in-dating-51a7a36e2d84

[Asker]

They don't have varied tastes. Asian and white women are preferred.

[TheSpaceGnome]

Incorrect.

[Ninani]

@Asker that only shows the preferences of people using okcupid.

[rcljr]

Oh, so I’m a racist because I like the tilt o whirl and not the merry go round? I’m racist because I won’t fuck a guy that dresses like a girl? Shove your stupid ass childish shit straight up your worthless ass.

[rcljr]

Leftists are sooo fkn stupid

[Asker]

Get your racist ass fucked @rcljr

[rcljr]

Lol, the liberal idiot is triggered. Is that the only word you know leftist retard? The word racist, is that the only word you learned in school you nasty piece of shit?

[rcljr]

Don’t waste your time , she’s a triggered racist leftist piece of shit trying to hedge her bets on CRT, probably a gender studies student or liberal arts major, she’s too fucking stupid for much else.

[Asker]

@rcljr Racist old piece of shit is what you are.

[Asker]

Old as a raisin haha

[Mango-man]

Because it is not.

By your logic, we could start saying that heterosexuals are sexually discriminating against their own sex because they are attracted to the opposite sex. And that we are discriminating against carrots when we prefer eating (and thus killing) carrots instead of cauliflower.

You can't force people to eat food according to some quota. You can't force homosexual to pretend to be heterosexual and vice versa. And you can't force someone to date people they feel no attraction to, just because of some quota.

[TwinTonyz]

If it's considered racist then it's a form of racism which is acceptable. Tuff.

Also what' s the end game? You date someone of a certain race, that makes you racist? Do I need to meet a quota and report it to some kinda authority, or else? The only people who think this is a legitimate problem are bitter and looking for some way to cancel people who don't want them, and people who have so few problems they have to create create conflict so they have something to save people from; like an arsonist fireman or God.

[DiegoO]

Dating someone of another race doesn't make you racist; but dating someone from another race, thinking their beauty is superior to women's of a specific race, it's racist.

[sunshineglow]

It's not racist. One can't choose who's he less or more attracted to. If I don't like that or that hairstyle, type of body, face etc is that chauvinistic? Or I just can't control what I am naturally more attracted to? So that's a preference. Same thing with race. Some white men prefer women of colour. Some prefer white. What is there to blame? What is there to poke politics or judgment onto? That's a private inner thing, like what kind of scent, colour, things, food, style or whatever else, person prefers. It has nothing to do with intentional chauvinism or racism. Don't do that, don't stirr conflicts over something very irrelevant.

[hahahmm]

Nope. But why is it only butt ugly women who make these kinds of arguments? And I'm not saying they have to be ugly on the outside. They might just be ugly on the inside. Either way they're not attractive to a huge percentage of the male gender. Then she has to find something to blame this lack of attraction on. Culture plays a huge role in compatibility. Just for one example: If you have a hardcore loud mouthed feminist tude, don't expect a guy who didn't grow up with a mom like that to be into it. And even a lot of the guys who had moms like that aren't into it.

[lightbulb27]

people don't want to be labeled as "a bad person" or doing something illegal. reality is, most people have biases and preferences. It isn't just against people of color, but everyone to some degree. I think people of color... maybe because of the color contrast, social behaviors, recent history, or media... I'm not sure which... are more aware of the issues... and it is appears more severe. Culture is a stronger factor in preference.

"race" is a factor, but it's not the only factor... is one among many in assessing qualities of a person.

[GaGirls]

Because they don't understand what racism fully means. People focus solely on the nightmare side of racism and they never understand fully what racism is. We know most people are racist in some manner because through testing we have found this to be true. But a lot of people will reject what I am saying and never go search for a deeper understanding of racism. There are many words in the dictionary that you understand but have never seen the definition to. There are many words you have seen the definition too but don't understand or fully understand.

[Genoside]

A lot of the replies are trashing the asker, but I think I get what she’s saying here. The point she’s trying to make is that racism is sometimes OK.

We’ve developed a knee-jerk opposition to racism because some very bad historical figures were racists, like Margaret Sanger and Adolf Hitler. But you know what? Some really awesome historical figures were racist too, like Ben Franklin and Abraham Lincoln.

Yeah, sometimes racism is used to justify bad things, like school segregation or ethnic cleansing. But sometimes it’s as harmless as preferring to date white women, or to patronize black-owned businesses.

So don’t assume that racism is always bad. As the asker points out, it can sometimes be fine.

[MelaninQueen21]

Although I would say kinda is... technically it is!

I don't have a preference when it comes to my future boyfriend/husband. Although I wouldn't mind dating the same race, I'd prefer to date/marry outside my own. I grew up in a diverse community/neighborhood and I've always been exposed to different cultures.

Now, although I'd prefer my man to be olive/tan skin complected, have ocean/sky blue eyes and curly dark hair, that doesn't mean that I won't be attracted to anyone else who doesn't possess these features.

[genericname85]

if racial preferences are racist, then gender preferences are sexist.

it's just shocking to me to see those low points in ideology driven science.

i don't know if you've feeling that way. but i feel like in recent years, science has been slowly dying. it's more about people trying to confirm theories that they came up with to stroke their own ego or to please their investors with a paper stating their agenda as fact, rather than finding out what's actually true.

[genericname85]

by the way: if you actually read the study (you can find it here scihub.yncjkj.com/10.1016/j.jesp.2019.03.004 ), it's about peoples perception. what they find is that the disclosure of racial preferences are "percieved" by people to be racist.

it does by no means mean that they "are" racist. i don't know why you made that up.

[genericname85]

just cause someone "percieves" a choice i make as racist, doesn't mean i'm a racist. perception and reality aren't the same.

[genericname85]

what you displayed there is a problem that massively fucks us over globally currently. people quoting science to say shit that the science they quoted actually doesn't say.

[doopayo]

Because most people only recognize racism on an individual level and not the social/political/eve mimic/systemic level that is reality. Racial preferences are usually rooted in a bigger issue, but no one wants to address that in fear of being labeled a racist

[Anonymous]

You know as a white man there are some black women I’m more attracted to vs. other white women. Notice how I said “some”.

With that said attraction is not a choice. You either feel attracted to someone (to varying levels) or you don’t. If you try to force yourself into dating someone you are not attracted to it’s going to be a miserable relationship.

So saying it’s “racist” that some men aren’t attracted to black women is a huge stretch. If can justify that then how about trans women trying to force cis gendered men into dating them (there is already a push behind that crap). Or worse about someone trying to force you into a homosexual relationship?

Just don’t go there with the “racism” angle. It’s a cheap shot. I actually had a very bad (and scary) experience with this last year. It would of had “metoo” written all over it if the genders were reversed.