Not saying there aren't nice people out there, but like, I've been noticing often that when you go out of your way to do something nice for someone, they are almost, weirded out? By it? being nice shouldn't be seen as weird or unusual... I am never expecting a favor in return. It's just my nature and how I've always been.. maybe my heart is bigger than most? Or are most people really just selfish and out for themselves these days? I really do things for others cause it makes me feel happy and good to do something nice for someone. I really don't expect anything back, but please don't look uncomfortable or seem creeped out by my nice gesture.. it doesn't cost a dime to be a nice person.
Anyone else notice how uncommon being a genuinely nice person these days?
Being nice is hard these days because it comes off as duplicitous in the eyes of many. Someone does something kind or nice, there always seems to be an ulterior motive is the precedent that has been set.
Selfishness, greed and ruthlessness is what is rewarded at the end of the day because it has a sense of power and edge in society that one is capable and has backbone to get what they want, even if it comes at the cost of hurting others around them.
Those that are genuinely nice or very empathetic will struggle because of this. They do it out of kindness from their hearts and the desire to help others, it is seen as a weakness and something to exploit by other people. Which is shitty, but it is true as well. These individuals are ones that tend to be pleasers as well, they don't like to say no or rock the boat because they also want to be accepted.
The best way a person can be nice and relatively sane or respected is to withhold attachment, reward or generosity until the individual is deserving of it. It also helps to be stoic for these people as well because it helps keep perception of others in check and not overly invest or setting expectations that will most likely not be met. The other key factor is to be assertive in tough situations. It will set a boundary that should be acknowledged and respected by those who are presented with it.
Yeah there's a lot of 'bad bitches' out there and 'cold motherfuckers' LOL A lot of people don't know basic manners, respect and kindness, it's literally foreign to them. So when you display it they think you're trying to kiss their ass, trying to get something from them etc...
Often these are bad quality, narcissistic people who think the world revolves around them, that they're such hot shit everyone wants a piece of them. Having good manners and staying classy is a great way to weed these socially inept braindead people out.
Yes there are fewer and fewer good people. I was raised to treat people the way you want to be treated. Most of the time I ignore the assholes once in awhile I'll give shit back to person. There are good people out there but unlike the assholes we are way less loud about it 😂
Unfortunately it takes a lot to remain a genuinely nice person in this day and age. People are rewarded for being selfish, arrogant and greedy. These are the people who have money, power and success in relationships/dating.
Unfortunately there's no impetus to effect change on any of those points to recognise and reward those who are genuinely nice (and by that I mean selfless, humble and generous) so they either shed those traits for success, or get ground down and just make themselves smaller or lesser until they finally give up.
I used to be a genuinely decent person. Never asked for anything in return but respect. People, *especially women*, always treated me poorly for it. I learned, the nicer you are, the weaker people think you are, and the less they respect you. So then I stopped being nice, and if someone didn't like it or they got offended by me, I started cursing them out. Even threatening them, if need be. It got me a lot further than being nice, which society saw as being a pushover, soft, or meek.
It costs you a lot to be a nice person. If it was easy, everyone would do it. If it didn't require self-sacrifice, temperance, patience, and stoicism, niceness would be the default trait in society and not held as a virtue.
The moral of the story: Be nice ONLY to those who deserve. And be merciless to those who deserve no mercy, as well.
I know several genuinely nice people, and strive to be one as well.
I truly like people, and usually find the good in even the most difficult person. I find those who have a cynical outlook on their fellow humans (“people suck” or people are stupid” etc) have a much tougher time being genuinely nice.
Agree with you here. Many people are turned bitter due to experiences and they end up changing themselves. It's sad to see how bitterness spreads more easily and it's more apparent online.
Much appreciated that you're kind truly by yourself! :) Keep strong.
I'm a very down-to-earth guy, very emotional type, always respect all people but I just feel like I wasn't born as a normal child, I got mental health disabilities so that could be it or possibly high functioning Autism, I use to flap my hands and arms when a teen and child and sometimes I still do
I think it all comes down to your viewpoint. I focus on the good in people. I chalk up most of the "rudeness" etc. To people being just preoccupied. It's a 24 hr. World and people are busy doesn't it doesn't make them the devil. Just stressed typically. I'm a firm believer in a smile and a kind word at the right time can change someone's day. And why wouldn't you want to be that person for them. 🙂
I think the world would be a much better place if the richest and powerful people on the earth actually donated/helped to the less fortunate/charities more often..
But there are some people who don't worth your precious time and help too. There are selfish, rude people who don't deserve your cooperation. lol
It is because our generation is the most selfish self absorbed generation ever. It’s the millennials, gen Z generation that are the worst. Back then friendships would last forever. Nowadays people dump you once they meet someone better.
I think it has a lot to do with social media. Everyone is on social media all day, everyday. And you can be as callous, rude, stupid, vapid and intolerant as you like. Zero ramifications. The shear anonymity of the internet allows, and I think, contributes to the overall rudeness of people. Then that becomes a behavior. A behavior in all aspects of their life, not just social media. The rudeness carries over into real life.
It's better to be kind than nice. Sometimes in order to be kind to a person, meaning acting with empathy and in their best interest, you have to be a bit mean.
So, I have to change my whole personality that I have had my whole life and unlearn being nice and thoughtful for a bunch of low life's? Not a fat chance in hell!
Right!! That's what I'm saying.. the amount of disrespect I see from teens these days towards their elders n such absolutely disgusts me. I literally witnessed this at a gas station maybe a week ago in the Ontario city I live in currently.. this guy had to been late 20s early 30s even.. cursing out a man who was probably early 50s maybe a little older.. over a almost run in with eachother driving into a gas pump... I was in disbelief the way he spoke to this man. Disgusting.
yup. and you know why? cause this "political correctness" bullshit now forces everyone to act nice, even if they aren't. so you have a harder time finding those that are actually nice.
I feel you!! I get shit on constantly! Just finding it super hard to know where to draw that line on "it's probably not worth the effort" cause I gotta remind myself, "would they do the same for me?" Probably not. They're just small gestures so I usually feel like it's not a big deal whether I do it or not, but sometimes they can go south fast then before I know it, it's somehow back fired on me! Ugh lol.
Cos internet makes people feel entitled cos they know they can say anything and get away with it. It makes their ego too big. And you know what a big ego does to you
Yeah, totally. Spot on. I think it was an Indian and black psychological warfare campaign on the developed nations, to first destroy the ideal of a 'good guy' - and to turn good girls into retarded/idiot bitches - and kids just took the bait.
Depends on where you live, but yeah, I have noticed it.
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Anonymous
(18-24)
+1 y
I find it more common when we get older. People at my college and work are not just nice but genuinely great people who make my life easier. It's rare during school maybe because teens think it's cool to be a mean bully
@Juxtapose I'm not saying nice people can't defend themselves, but being nice because it helps your ego is not genuine or honest so others will pick up on that.
If I could afford to I would! Lol I'd love to help everyone but sadly I struggle to pay my own rent these days lol. I'd love to be a billionaire tho, and just go around handing out money to people in need. I think the world would be a much better place if the richest people on the planet actually donated to the less fortunate/charities more often..
No living thing is going to be nice without any drive to do so, the same with malice.
The good feelings people get for doing good things is what will ultimately motivate them, either that or threats.
I have done volunteer work before and it wasn't that fun but it felt nice to do. If it just felt horrible then it's not realistic to expect me to do it anyway as some self-sacrificial martyr.
If you haven't noticed, people who sacrifice themselves feel very strongly about their cause. Without that feedback of feeling then kindness won't exist, kindness won't exist in a vacuum.
I mean fuck, the only reason why empathy even works is because we feel something similar to what we think the other person is feeling. It's all about us in the end, ourselves.
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