I'm trying my best not to be "rude" regarding the OP of this question in the link.
If you are unintentionally rude and offend someone that’s one thing. It also depends on the other person’s maturity to determine if you are intentionally being a dbag vs just acting rude out of ignorance and not even realizing it.
If the offended person (tactfully) communicates they don’t like what they are hearing/seeing and the other person corrects course that’s one thing.
However some people “get upset” over the most asinine things like being called the wrong pronoun. In those situations the “offended” person is really the rude person to begin with. Their “offended” response is worse the original “rude” action
However some people actually get off on being antagonistic. Nothing subjective about that. Those people should be (rightfully) universally condemned.
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I could talk about how differences in customs from one city to another mean something is rude in one city but not the next one BUT I think it's more important to focus on how the idea that it's wrong to ever offend another person is exactly what 'woke' ideology is based on and it leads to those who have the power to silence others using that power but coincidentally they are offended when their ideas/allies are the topic. They aren't offended at all when the opposition is attacked. So it becomes a one sided political tool to pretend to care about feelings.
And feelings aren't based on facts so it's dangerous to run a society just based on that.
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No. We all know that:
1. Insults and name calling
2. Giving attitude
3. Attempting to belittle or shame someone publicly
4. Trying to make a fool out of someone
5. Have an attitude in the tone of one’s voice
6. Projecting arrogant body language
7. Smart ass remarks
8. Intentional and overt disrespect
Intentional and covert disrespect (backhanded compliments etc)
9. Racial remarks
10. Arrogant behavior in general
We know when these things are done unprovoked or without just cause that it’s not ok. We all know these things do not sit well with almost everyone and therefore no one needs to be told this as an adult.
True, there may be individual things unique to the individual beyond these that may be considered offensive, however as stated, we all know what is generally disrespectful, not in good taste, rude and offensive.
Only narcissists and sociopaths and those with developmental disabilities need basic respect and what is considered rude explained to them, and in the case of the first two no leeway is given by me nor is leeway given to anyone I perceive who damn well knows better.They're two different things. Rudeness is deliberate, you know how your expected to behave in civilised society but choose not to because your under the delusion your above the other person. Eg not saying please or thank you
Offensive is when you deliberately target something that has meaning to someone. It's a more personal direct attack Eg calling a black guy a junglebunny. The aim is usually to lower the status of someone.
Where it gets cloudy is when people take offence where non was intended eg using the wrong pronoun. There's also a clash of culture, a British newspaper ran an article on how a girl was horrified when her American date brought a bell to a restaurant to use to summon the water, normal in usa rude in UK.For the most part it is subjective. It all depends on how the person perceives the comment and what the intention is of the person who made the comment.
If the intention to hurt is clear. "All [insert group] should die in a fire", everyone is going to recognize this as "that is offensive, this person wants to offend said group"
But the comment "not bad" can be seen as a compliment or an insult even if it's meant as "good job".
I think it could be quantified and objectified by someone who knows how to do that. A phrase or action being rude, that's subjective, but a person being rude can be defined with fairly clear lines. It has to be intentional, and to insult, at least. There's probably more nuance to it than that but my head hurts
There's TWO things to consider here:
1. Their intention
2. Your emotional reaction
THEY are responsible to not try to offend you, though there is some slack there. YOU are responsible for your feelings on the matter.
There is no denying. If someone says "your mother is a fat cow". It's definitely rude.
Whoever that guy is must really hate his life.
Subjective.
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