Are you good at being intimidating when you need to be?

Question

As you can see I can get very intimidating lol... okay not really but seriously I wish I could put a "angrier" face on. Especially at work when I have to deal with "karens", rude customers, shoplifters etc. Just today I caught a guy doing something in the change room. I tried to look intimidating to get him kicked out of the store but he just didn't listen. So I had to get my manager and he kicked him out.

TheorionMage · Accepted Answer

Include a caption for your image…capitalizes

"Its NOT the size of the dog in a fight, its the size of the 'fight' in the dog." I used to teach women's self-defense in college in the early 1970's. As women are usually not as muscular or large as their adversaries... I taught introductory Judo... which capitalizes on mechanical physics and using the smaller combatant's lower center of gravity and insight and also Akkido... which exploits your opponent's skeleton's joints and pain threshold.

Most bullies sense your intimidation and your hesitation. Nobody WANTS to be PUT IN pain. MOST will defer to the bully's intimation of the THREAT to inflict pain or harm for the Bully to get their way. This provides an immediate ego boost to the 'big bad' Bully.
Rule #1: Beyond 'trash talk' words, EACH of you WILL receive SOME pain.
It may be short-term or life changing.

As a former police officer and bar bouncer trainer (Road House 'cooler'), taking verbal abuse and potential physical bruising comes with the job;
(you WILL BE dealing with someone USED TO getting THEIR way...
A shark doesn't want to fight you or BE hurt BY you, it wants to exploit and EAT you. )

You are not INITIALLY seen as an equal or peer; you are an animate LESSER 'thing': 'prey'. You MUST be prepared to INFLICT 'awareness' in your Assailant...
that THEY WILL receive SIGNIFICANT injury
WITH accompanying (perhaps debilitating LIFELONG) pain.
Rule #2: EVERYBODY CAN BLEED. If THAT scares you, lie down and put out for your Assailant and vainly hope for 'mercy'.~

A mere 5-15 lbs force skillfully applied, can cripple or even kill. But do YOU have the WILL to forcefully USE that level of physical force to enforce YOUR will?
IF YOU absolutely KNEW HOW... would YOU have THE WILL to break bones?

Your Challenger WILL smell your fear, ... sense YOUR reticence and reluctance and... like a chess player EXPLOIT your hesitance. Resign yourself that YOUR demeanor MUST portray YOUR ferocity---
A friend's little dashound 'Queenie' was confronted with a far larger doberman pincher who'd ferociously elected to attack her mistress. That dashound took damage but KILLED the doberman by seizing it by ripping out the doberman's throat.
(The dashound's mistress was a RN and through judicious first aid, saved her little dashound's life.)
Your 'animal' posture MUST make your Adversary's 'animal' BELIEVE this interaction is going to COST them FAR MORE than they stand to gain.

"I MAY NOT 'win' but... YOUR pain and scars WILL remember ME... reminding YOU,
... EVERY TIME IT RAINS."

WhiteSteve · Accepted Answer

I think so. I kind of have a reputation in my hockey league already, lmao, like more than I’d think. I had one fight my first season and I handled the kid pretty decisively, but I left my gloves on, he wasn’t hurt, and it doesn’t go very long, it’s not like the pros where you can duke it out until you tire out or you fall to the ice. Plus the kid is much smaller than me, the fight went exactly how it should have, it’s not like I took down some monster. I actually have the fight from the rink cameras, and you can see what I mean, I’m the one in green, the goalie in yellow is the guy I’m fighting….

Are you good at being intimidating when you need to be?

Then I got in another confrontation with him when he slashed my teammate who’s a dentist in his 60s, so I stepped in to defend him, but we got separated quickly and it was more of a slap fight, I’m kind of embarrassed lmfao.

I guess I yelled some kind of crazy shit afterwards, first at the goalie, but I think I directed it at everybody at one point😅😂

(Ironically, we’re all on the same team this season, I play my first game with him next Wednesday, so we’re going to have to find a way to get over it.) But the point is, I’ve had multiple guys in my league make comments to me or about me within earshot that would suggest a lot of people are intimidated by me. I’m pretty big, but not “holy shit”-big, so I think it’s just that I blow up when I get mad and it’s kind of a scene more than how dangerous I actually am in reality. Some guys are all bark, no bite; some are all bite, no bark; and I guess I’m just one of those guys who barks AND bites, and in a men’s recreational hockey league, that’s probably more than some people are looking for😂 I’m a very cordial guy, I’m all about good times, I’m not going out there bullying people. But if you ring my doorbell, I’m gonna answer it, that’s all. I’m just explosive, albeit only on rare occasions, and that throws a lot of people off.

EllaNella · Accepted Answer

i don't know how i do it but somehow i guess i am.
maybe it's more about demonstrating authority than actually being intimidating.

i work at a bar & i regularly have to kick out costumers when we're closing or deal with misbehaving drunk dudes. and in 3 years of working there i have only lost control of the situation once.

i would guess it's about attitude and self confidence. when i have to kick someone out/ tell someone off i always make sure to make it clear that they have the short end of the stick. even when i'm asking nicely.

SeriouslyFunny00 · Accepted Answer

Haha! That's what I've been trying to do as well at work or school, but people will see it as cute lol, so I've stopped trying and been having a poker face ever since. 🤣

lightbulb27 · Answer

no, because I was sensitive kid and hurt emotionally so much, I retreated from conflict. I got more strength over the years and aim to engage the person to change their thinking than overpower them quickly. It isn't worth the conflict and I know I can't take the physical impact at this point. Communicating with clear intent with confidence be the key.

You could up your spiritual energy and look for techniques to do that. That's more about resolving your inner heart/spirit, addressing traumas that limit who you think you are. Everyone has these challenges, even some of the big.. strong people I've known, were limited by traumas in their lives.. e. g. one guy whose father was an alcoholic, it messed up his life and relationship. It's life's challenge to find your inner strength so you can be your true self.

That give you more power and would be valuable in relationship for there are people who will run over you if you aren't projecting strength.

That said it more about being able to stand your ground and handle people more comfortably. You aren't going to "get into it" with criminals these days...

Lliam · Answer

That's a scary look. Soooo intimidating. If you ordered me to accompany you to the security room for punishment, I'd comply.

I'm 6'2" and can be kind of imposing. Plus my voice is loud when I get upset. So I can be pretty intimidating.

But nothing is more intimidating than a woman doing this
https://media.istockphoto.com/photos/angry-young-woman-frowning-picture-id185306952?k=20&m=185306952&s=612x612&w=0&h=RzkE8hxJ-xnHL8sSO4ZSu6QNpXYsKl866ct2evuYJdo=

God_of_Thunder · Answer

Apparently, I'm intimidating, even when I'm not trying to be, at least according to people that know me.

I'm tall, broad shouldered, have a shaved head, and have an imposing physique. My default facial expression can politely be described as "go fuck yourself".

So yeah, I suppose if I'm actually trying to be, then I'm pretty successful at it. 🤷‍♂️

HighValue · Answer

My size and looks make most people feel intimidated just by being anywhere near me. I have been told by co-workers, students, parents, etc. many times that I look very intimidating.

Chazmatazz269 · Answer

I don’t need to try to be intimidating around people. I just am. I’m big, bald and i have RBF. If i’m not actively smiling or laughing and you don’t know me, it’s easy to assume i’ll kill you and eat you. Sometimes i puff up, scowl and growl a bit around an aggressive dog though.

ohsheeT · Answer

I am one of the most patient passionate get along with person in this world I believe in right I believe in wrong and I don't think it's so much intimidating I think it's there's a time of the place to be serious I mean I allow myself to get pushed around a little bit but when enough is enough is enough it's not really intimidating it's more or less just backing in your own play we all have boundaries

ProVox · Answer

This happened to me over my step daughter continuously being "not available" on our days of joint custody, and we had had enough...

Cops: "why haven't you tried talking it out?"

My wife's ex: "well, just look in his eyes, he's crazy."
Naaa

blissinanarchy1 · Answer

I’m a pretty boy so I don’t “look” intimidating, even if I am bigger ( 6’3, 220) but I been told I come off very aggressive (Not disrespectful, aggressive as in very polite but will punch you if you slip up). I’m also from North Philly, in a very violent neighborhood and I apparently have a “air” about me.

bowenw · Answer

I can be if necessary. You look like a force to be reckoned with.

Rockstarrrrr · Answer

I'm a good yeller lol... And my deep voice makes it more aggressive and adds authority to it... Also a good trick for body language... Maintaining strong eye contact... Having your chin up ( this one is important ) ... Pointing your body towards them

Sparkie460 · Answer

I can be very intimidating when I need to be. You just have too sweet of a face to be intimidating.

Guardian45 · Answer

Apparently, I am, cuz friends and colleagues have told me so. I can be very intense, when I am troubled, even when I'm NOT trying to be. I'm neurodivergent.

Many years ago, a female boss called me into a meeting and a third person was there, another supervisor. We had a tough conversation, but everyone was courteous and professional. I realized later that the female boss found me intimidating. We both laughed about it later.

TonightYouu · Answer

Yes it’s easy for me because im such an apathetic easygoing sarcastic kind of guy so it’s out of character for me to act that way all you have to do is stare people down aggressively

DryGermanGuy · Answer

"LET ME SEE YOUR WAR FACE!!!"

Anonymous · Answer

You should have tazed him in the balls then drug him out the door 🤣🤣🤣.

I'm apparently intimidating even when I'm not trying to be due to my size. Which is just comical to me. Because anyone that knows me knows I'm soft like cookie dough.

JustADudePlayinADude · Answer

I've been told when I'm happy that no one can see me as scary and I've been told when I'm mad I am very scary. Even had a friend say "yes sir" one time when I made him panic from my anger lol. I turn it on when I need to.

20yearsolder · Answer

I'm not going to lie, you don't look very intimidated. You look pretty damn cute. Yeah I'm 6'1 280 lb. I can definitely look very intimidating when need be.

Th3ft · Answer

I’m pretty good at it when I need to be but that would mess me up I would just be creeped to even look at the guy. Like what are you doing sir…

Fireguy17 · Answer

Yes. I have a football player build, strong and have a very good outdoor voice.

MiamiMadness · Answer

I’d think twice before shoplifting at your store

Still-alive · Answer

I can see you getting very red with anger! nahh lol.. i mean i guess i can be at times

Staximus · Answer

One of my coworkers said my brother and I are the scariest people in the building to him at any given time, even when there's 300 drunk idiots running around haha. We don't mean to be, we are just a little intense.

TheMajesticKing777 · Answer

I don't think I need to try, I normally walk around with my face which I've been told not to be angry before when I wasn't angry just cause of my face

MementoMori_ · Answer

"Just today I caught a guy doing something in the change room." "Doing something?" 🤔

Pinay_ako · Answer

🤣 I don’t even need to try and I’m only 4’11

exitseven · Answer

You have many good qualities but being intimidating is not one of them. It is really not a bad thing.

bolverk · Answer

I can be when I need to be, but then I have a couple of natural advantages, I'm 6'2" and weight 18 stone (252lbs). I have the problem of appearing less intimidating than I appear,

Dnice1 · Answer

Behind the wheel I am but I'm not at all that intimidating when out of it

Cright941 · Answer

The way I see myself and the way other people see me are very opposite. I feel I am easy going non threatening. Others think I am mad if I am not smiling. Apparently I have a legit RBF.

AddylynnNightingale · Answer

I am intimidating even when I try to be nice.

Agape93 · Answer

Yeap. Even if I'm not, a gun or my dogs can certainly do the trick.

DancingQueen16 · Answer

Yeah I think so because I may be a nice person but you don't want to get on my bad side

MikeInHawaii · Answer

I can go from Mr. Rogers to Samuel L. Jackson in about two seconds, usually when dealing with stupid people.

JPresidente · Answer

Yes. I am very friendly and smile a lot but when I have to shift my focus and be up front with people, I can.

jamesgoldman · Answer

The steel toed boots, fists full of rings and a chain heavy enough to be come a medieval flail should the matter precipitate

Alex8736 · Answer

You have to just look them in the eye silently and the guilty one's will immediately look away especially if you politely ask "can I help you find something?"

FilmGuy93 · Answer

Very scary! I can be intimidating when I want to be, yes.

JustiReno · Answer

No, I’m a coward, I run home and stay inside with my gun 😭

JosyJosy · Answer

Not when I need to be. But when I want to be, I have no problem.

Grubhub · Answer

Exactly, he didn’t listen because you ain’t Intimidating

Iron_Man · Answer

This is intimidating lol

TroyDT · Answer

It depends. I'm 6'2 and around 200, so for a lot of people I am automatically, but some professional athletes make me look like a dwarf.

Grond21 · Answer

I have been told that I can be intimidating sometimes, but I have difficulty seeing it

loveslongnails · Answer

Yeah, you don't look very intimidating. LOL But you ARE pretty!

Justneedtokno · Answer

Nope I’m goofy soon if he starts to stare I will laugh 😹

Aakash_Hangargi · Answer

I think you look confused more than intimidating 😆..

Heolurt · Answer

I'm intimidating even when I try not to be, I'm 5'9" and I have massive muscles and and an Ugly ass face. I look like a deformed grotesque gorilla.

OddBeMe · Answer

I hate Dick Cheney but I feel we’re similar in how we intimidate. He was the quiet rabid dog. A fly fishermen that hooked his targets.

KrakenAttackin · Answer

You might be intimidating in a club surrounded by your girl posse but you will never be intimidating in real conflict.

Anonymous · Answer

Most people are scared of me and are afraid I’m going to rob or assault them. And that’s before I even say anything.

BJP21 · Answer

Im a fuck around and find out type. My patience can only go so far before I blow up.

zagor · Answer

No, but when someone tries to intimidate me I just get very rational and don't back down.

pizzalovershouse · Answer

You look tall in photo were you wearing heels

Surely · Answer

You are way too pretty to be intimidating!  You need to carry a big stick!

Zolly99999 · Answer

Yes. Bring 6'4 and 250lbs is a little intimidating lol

Synikal · Answer

Yes. A quiet person with a deep voice knows when to speak and be heard.

BLP11520 · Answer

Yes, I was a manager and had to be firm with trouble customers

NathanDavis · Answer

that's some serious pose there... lmao

Anonymous · Answer

Yeah, I have kind of a repulsive vibe, which is perfect for getting rid of people I don't like.

Anonymous · Answer

Being intimidating makes you look Rude or Unattractive so why would you want to be intimidating.

Are you good at being intimidating when you need to be?

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