My whole life, and I mean my ENTIRE life I've had problems connecting with people. I love people and I'm a very friendly, good person. Or at least I think I mostly am.
I used to get home from school and cry because I couldn't understand why being normal was so hard for me. I was 12 years old watching movies, podcasts and whatever I could find depicting a normal conversation so I could learn how to pick up on social cues.
It's made life so hard for me. I've always felt alone. My teenage years, I had so much hate and anger in me because I couldn't grasp what was wrong with me. I thought everyone else was an asshole.
Even now, I can function and probably nobody can tell I straight up have autism. But it's so frustrating living life like this.
People who just learned this stuff naturally as toddlers don't know how lucky they are. Imagine scoring a 130 on iq tests regularly and having the social intelligence of a Dwight from the office.
