How can I positively confront this dilemma?

[Anonymous]

Short version: I’m not doing good in life (very long story short). My dilemma is do I keep feeling sorry for myself and wait for help or do I get out of this slump by myself and resent most of the world population for not helping me?

I don’t want either of those.

Long version: I’ve helped lots of people, in big ways (buying someone from a slum a third-world little house even though I’m not rich but I “could afford it”). I feel like people haven’t helped me back as much as I did to them. That was fine for many years, until now when I feel more desperate than ever. I’m starting to struggle and my financial future looks bleak. I don’t feel karma giving me anything. I’ve actually asked for help on donation sites and art forums for art collaborations and literally nothing has come out of that. And then I see people getting their online donation goals and tripling it. I got other problems but money has been at the front of my mind. And I paid for that house because I thought if I don’t help them, I’d be a hypocrite asking for help. I helped them the way I want to be helped (the house costed more than expected though so I don’t know if I would have done that with hindsight). I see so many rich people on tv and YouTube doing fun expensive things and I’m stuck near the bottom. I’m too tired from work to do almost anything extra to get out of this job. It’s been like this for over 10 years. My many other problems are dragging me down. My moral compass is good. Everyone who meets me think I am nice and helpful etc. I’ve seen those YouTubers who give out money which gives me a grain of hope but the chances of me encountering them are so low. I don’t wanna hear that”hang in there” stuff. Over 10 years of trying hard and failing has made me bitter. It’s probably a skewed perspective from learning about success stories, but yeah.

Updates

+1 y

Also I haven’t had a vacation in something like 9 years. Can’t afford it.

Updates

+1 y

I also heard Elon Musk made a wise quote about not looking too much at the fortunes of others. I think there is something to that.

[jennifer_bloom]

I know plenty of people that donate enough money to build houses in third world countries, your good deeds are as common as water and you act like your a God for it. There are billions of people that deserve help more than you do so if you want help you can wait in line or get a job.

[Asker]

I have a job. Also I think a lot of charities are corrupt. If you see the slums you’ll see they’re not getting hardly anything from charity. So I disagree about it being common. I can see why you would see it that way, because of the media.

[Asker]

It is actually proven that big charities are corrupt if you see the true-story movie “Whistleblower” which shows the U. N. participate in big crime and hear San Francisco former officials explain that 95% of homeless aid money goes to pockets of politicians.

[jennifer_bloom]

This is a test, the test comes before the reward.

[jennifer_bloom]

I know the charities I support are real cause God gives me humongous blessings when I donate to them. If I donate to a bad charity, my rewards are tiny.

[Asker]

I get the test part but it >feels< excessive to suffer at the same time.