Why are men on this site so much more open minded than women?

Question

Whenever there is a question about big age gaps most women tend to be hateful unless the woman is older, while men are open minded and don't judge much. I think it's weird.

NamerOfStars · Accepted Answer

On this particular issue, cynical pragmatism.

Think about the way we evolved: we are CONSUMMATE K-strategists; our pregnancies take a long time, we're almost always born one at a time, and we're born totally helpless. Raising a child to adulthood represents an incredible investment of time and resources. From a purely evolutionary standpoint, then, if you're going to monogamously pair bond, it makes the most sense to do so with as young and fertile a woman as you can get, to maximize the odds of having healthy children, as well as the number of them that you can have.

The net result is that what makes a woman sexually attractive (physically) are the signs of health, youth, and fertility- so in chronological terms, a woman's sex appeal is very front-loaded. As she ages, it fades, and the attention and favorable treatment it brought her fades with it. From a psychological standpoint, of course, there are many very good reasons to partner up with someone around your age- but natural selection rules attraction, and all its products flow from it.

Take a look at any female Hollywood sex symbol, from any era- they burst on to the scene in their youth and set the world on fire, then, as time passes, they gradually fall from favor (assuming they don't choose to leave the limelight or get forced from it by some occurrence or other), and eventually they grow bitter, seeing the attention and favor once foisted upon them being given to their younger replacements. She decries the men who only praise the young hot starlet because she's young and hot, but had no problem with them when it was HER turn. She says that it's awful men are so sexist and wish they'd treat women like they do each other- unaware that that's exactly what they're doing, since she came into adulthood with good looks and good luck.

It's the same with more typical people. The objections you get from women aren't just "why are these men dating girls barely out of their teens, when they should be dating ME?"; while that's a part of it, there's also "why am I not getting the attention/free drinks/incessant flattery that these young women are?". Age gaps with older women are more accepted, because they don't send the same message: that you're past your peak.

Men, by contrast, are generally used to being more active in the process; think of hunters tracking a target, rather than fishermen baiting hooks and waiting. A man got a younger woman? Hey, good for him. Another is partnered up with an older lady? Cool; they must've found they're good together (or at the very least, they both found SOMEBODY to be with). Women, far more used to being the sought-after, rather than the seekers, see men going for women they can't compete with, figure there's nothing they can do to make themselves more appealing (generally not true; good looks WILL catch a man's eye, but they won't hold it, and there's plenty you can do to make yourself more interesting or more pleasant to be around), fall into despair, conclude that anger is better than despair, and start calling men pedophiles for being attracted to women in their primes.

Lynx122 · Accepted Answer

Well when women are young they're like: "Girls just wanna have fun, what's up with all these people trying to tell me what to do with my life, take a chill pill, leave me alone, let me do what I want. But as soon as they feel competition coming and they feel like they can't just live without consequences anymore and shit is getting real they do a 180 and start shaming people. I think women are extremely good at framing issues in public discourse. If you look at society most things in public discussion are discussed in a way that suits women it's framed in a way that is advantageous to women.

It's the same when there's a conflict in a relationship or a breakup a woman can often make the guy sound abusive, narcisistic etc. Even if he was just a regular guy. Women are good at shaming and showing others in a bad light, deflecting attention and blame from themselves onto others etc. So when they start feeling threatened they start using these weapons constantly to try and stop others from behaving in a way that they don't like. Maybe it's not even a conscious decision. I don't know.

And it's extremely effective. If you're not aware of it and have experience with this you will easily fall for it. Maybe not the pressuring and shaming most people are a bit more resistant to that (it also works though), but playing the victim works all the time. That's why people love doing it on social media and why it's everywhere today.

The problem is when women start using the same tactics against each other then it becomes a mess.

sage2021 · Accepted Answer

I just think overall that the guys on this site are better at giving their opinions, advice, as well as being very kind to people that need it.
If you ever want to test this, just look at how many pinks answer a question and how many blues answer the questions.
Hardly any chicks even give their opinion but the guys do a lot.
Yeah guys!!!🙂

CupcakeTheDestroyer · Accepted Answer

There’s usually a predatory grooming vibe in an 18 year old girl dating a 28 year old man. She may be a legal adult but there’s something to be said about that choice and that time in a woman’s life. I had no fucking clue who I was at 18, I’m not sure I would have liked who my 28 year old boyfriend wanted me to be.

Finchie40 · Answer

Because most women are very judgmental than men are , most women think they are always right and never wrong , it’s basically her way or no way. Most women enjoy gossip and thrive off of drama , why most women will talk for hours on her phone with her girlfriend just ranting and raving over the dumbest things and talking shit about other people behind their back , almost every girl I been in a relationship with , did this shit , gossiping away with her friend and bashing other people , shit even my Mom did the same thing with her sister. lol Sadly a lot of females’ think they do no wrong , they are always right in their minds. Most females’ do not get along with each other because they are jealous and insecure of each other. They will have a group of girlfriends’ that constantly bash each other behind each others’ backs , Oh did you see what she always wearing today? , Oh did you notice how she was talking to him trying to get her way blah blah blah , Most guys’ don’t do that shit , if they do? They are Gay

SamIam96 · Answer

It isn't just questions about age gaps. It's literally every question. Guy are open minded because we want attention. We don't get it irl, so out of desperation, we've gone online.

We answer age gap questions because in doing so, we might make a connection with another like-minded age gap person. Being judgy is not a smart way to connect.

"Attention" extends to other topics. Some of us want intimacy or sex. So, we channel our desires towards people we think might want those things, too.

You call it "open minded", and here's an element of truth to that. Desire breeds both good and bad behavior. Your positive attitude is unusual. Most people are here looking for fault rather than connection. I will try being more "open" vs. reactive.

HawkPerception · Answer

It's just psychology. Women generally lose attraction at earlier ages. Men tend to have a later peak in terms of overall attraction. Of course they would be bitter about men preferring younger girls, name calling and calling them pedos, etc. But if the guy says that they're okay dating older women such as themselves, they ease up on the him because it gives them hope.

I've never considered age to be a factor. I could date a 50+ year old and I could date an 18 year old as long as I'm attracted to and compatible with them personality wise. Is there less of a chance of me being compatible with someone that's not around my age and hasn't experienced the same childhood and generational experiences I have... of course. But there's still a chance of being compatible with them.

RyanR03 · Answer

Are you sure they are? Guys placate to females if they think they are Hot 🔥. Honestly in real life I doubt men are any more open-minded than women. Now selfish, self centered people are not open minded. I know there seems to be 2 different psychology’s between men and women in most online forums. This one.. who knows. The women ask most of the questions and many of them are not topics that interest me. And as far as guys… I bet 80% of on here just to talk to women sand eventually talk about sex.

Serkee · Answer

I think it's because men don't tend to immediately jump to emotional conclusions or lash out at difficult questions. It's easier for men to take accountability for our own shortcomings and mistakes, or to consider ideas that challenge our own. Women are better at a lot of things, but open-mindedness isn't one of them.

Chazmatazz269 · Answer

We are socially conditioned differently. It’s not just this site.
“Women are always right and men are always wrong.”
When you give someone that kind of power, NEVER being wrong, you create inflexibility and closed-mindedness.
Men never expect to be right, particularly where women are concerned. It’s not actually open-mindedness though. It’s resignation.

molonski2 · Answer

I've noticed this too , and really wondered if it was real , but some at least cosmetically try to take a " Hollier than thou " stance on anything , I think its probably harder for the women to actually be honest , but I can tell you from real life experience ( not in USA sure ) that this is not how life is..

One needs to always be open minded and free , experiment and enjoy.

whiskeyontherocks · Answer

I have always noticed women are more judgmental than men in general especially with other women.
Also something I have noticed is if having a written conversations with women it’s easier to communicate vs. verbally saying the exact same thing often times gets a negative emotional response. It’s been with emails at work vs meeting, social media vs going to a event etc.
it might just be due to recent events in the last couple of years but yeah I’ve been taking note of it…

Billlewis · Answer

Probably because women are bombarded with rude, sexually suggestive comments and messages much more than guys are.

SweetJoyGirl · Answer

Men are generally more open minded, and logical thinkers.

itsannalee · Answer

Yes true, a girl even called me insecure coz i am ugly when i asked about long distance relationship.

MisterWack · Answer

Well thank you, though I’m not so sure age gaps are just the only way to determine open minded thought processes. I think it is balanced depending on the topic at hand.

AviatorTom · Answer

Simple answer. Because of basic biology, women are picky, more selective, while men are not. That makes us guys more open minded than most women.

SeriouslyNotSerious · Answer

I've seen that women are more picky than men. Then they complain why they can't find someone serious.

MrCharlie13 · Answer

Good question. It does depend on the time of the day and the background of the people that come into the site and answer. Women from India tend to be more close minded than the girls from Europe. Women from the US are 50/50 in my experience

DrewJohnson · Answer

It's an interesting idea to consider. I can only speak for myself.

I think sex is amazing. Choosing a partner is a personal decision. Who others choose also isn't my business. As long as it's consentual, there's really no issue with it.

rocksongwriter · Answer

Define "big age gap". 10 years? 50 years? I'm just curious.

HalalCabello · Answer

Because they are looking for dates and GFS lol I don't know I wouldn't call it open minded though it's weird

TaureanBull81 · Answer

We're less judgmental. We don't sweat the small stuff as much as women do and can't stand unnecessary BS drama 🤣🤪

ManInChains · Answer

Because men are more conservative and women are more liberal

Jennz6 · Answer

I think that the men are not sharing their true feelings

WhitneySnow · Answer

Really? I’ve found the opposite. That being said, some men on here are very open minded.

Yoursweetgirl · Answer

Depends on age gap. I'm quite open-minded but if age gap is 25-15 or 37-13 or something like that the open-mindness has limits there lol

msc545 · Answer

Women are absolutely convinced of their own correctness and will fight tooth and nail to defend that even when they are very clearly wrong and they know it.

andy530 · Answer

I’m sure it has to do with how they are socialized but I agree with you it’s odd how many people are closed minded even if they preach about being open minded or having more liberal ideals

YourExLover69 · Answer

If the girl is at least 20+ then I'm fine with her.

worldscolide · Answer

Because the women that bitch about age gaps are jealous.

Aiko_E_Lara · Answer

Women already got all the attention they want so they don't really have to be smart to get attention.

dougeats · Answer

because thats how we roll lol

noohair · Answer

Social convention, I don't buy it. Any two people over the age of 18 deserve a chance to find something good in each other.

dazzafromoz · Answer

It's not men or women it's just the different people you encounter at different times in your life.

Bklynbadboy12 · Answer

Try posting the same question anonymously and see if you still get that same result

Quigly · Answer

Only on this website, I know a lot of women that like older masculine guys in reality.

CubaPirate · Answer

It's just the way of the world and socialisation

Dargil · Answer

Men have lower standards.

es20490446e · Answer

Do you consider yourself open minded?

NotSlowestSloth · Answer

She's totally not talking about me.

war_daddy · Answer

because old women are bitches and jealous

Maxnanet · Answer

I feel like it’s the other way around

MrGSpotHer · Answer

Some people might think differently 😆

LimitedBenefits101 · Answer

Beats me.

eagle1951 · Answer

they are huh

Why are men on this site so much more open minded than women?

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