I have a crush on my boss.

[Anonymous]

I broke up with my boyfriend of 2 years back in September. I was over it after the first month. After I got over the boyfriend, I realized that I have a huge crush on my boss. I never told him about it because I figured there would be no way that he and I would happen. I told a girl I work with about it, so every now and then, we'll talk about him when he's not there. About a month ago, I accidentally let it slip out to someone else at work, but I didn't think much of it. Well, he recently sent a text message to my boss and told him I have a crush on him. So now my boss knows about my crush. He hasn't said anything about it because he doesn't think I know about the text message. He hasn't tried talking to me about it and I'm not sure if he ever will. The girl I work with said he was talking to her about it and she described him as seeming flattered that I like him. He told her that because he's my boss, he would feel uncomfortable dating me (which is understandable.) I'm 22 years old and he's only 26, soon to be 27, so the age different isn't that bad. I really do like this guy and I really think we could have a really good relationship, but like I said, he's my boss so I know he would feel uncomfortable. I'm not sure exactly how he feels about me. He hasn't said anything to me about the text message yet, so I'm assuming not interested. I guess my question is should I say something to him about the text message? I don't mind that he knows I have a crush on him. I wish he didn't find out that way, but it happened, so whatever. Should I say something to him first or should I wait and see if he says anything about it? And if he doesn't say anything about it, should I just leave it alone? I really need a dude's advice on this. It would especially help if there are any dudes out there who are managers and can give me a boss' perspective.

[jacquesvol]

I can be and am friends with my employees (some of them) I'm very open to my secretary and she's open to me, as friends are, and she knows more things about me than anyone else on the job.

I too know much more, very much more than you 'd ever believe about her (and about some of other employees) than the other people on the job, all through friendly personal contact.

At moments I could maybe imagine another kind of relationship( she's pretty), but I would never go into it: cooperation would be near impossible from then on.

Thus I would simply smile and disregard such a text message and never say a word about it. If she reverted to it, I would smile and say "you should know better" (maybe buy her some chocolates)

(but I know at least 3 colleagues who "abused" someone in a similar situation, only to "throw her away" afterwards, to "eliminate a witness") Even the very uptight manager above them did accept that.

To resume the above: If I were the boss, forget it.

[johnnydrama]

I myself was the Regional Manager for the past 2 years with my previous company. About 6 months ago I hired a girl and found out about 2 months later that she really liked me. I felt the same way about her but I wouldn't ever tell her or any of my other employees. Every manager knows that all relationships must be kept professional. Most organizations have strict policies on management/employee relationships as it is very easily viewed as a conflict of interest. Your co-workers could go to his boss and complain that you are getting special treatment and him or both of you would be swiftly unemployed to avoid the conflict.

In my professional opinion, as much as it sucks, I would suggest that you don't pursue it any further. The other option though potentially risky is to be honest, tell him how you feel and see how he feels and if he is closing off because of his duty as a manager.

I hope I helped, its a tough situation.

[Asker]

You're right. As much as it sucks, I have to agree with you and keep it professional. I appreciate the feedback.

[BeautifulMind59]

I read your post. Your point of view is very interesting. Thanks for your help.
I have actually faced a situation very similar to yours, except I am at the other end. I liked the way you wrote and would like to know if you can offer your opinion on my other questions. This is a very important matter to me and a tough situation as you say, and it would go a long way in helping me. I hope to be able to make it up to you in a way that will be worthy. Thank you.

[BeautifulMind59]

I also agree with the other opinions about what @johnnydrama said. I mean why didn't he ask her out or something? It's not like he worked there anymore, and he likes her, and knows she likes him... Were there other reasons? I'd be thrilled too.

[Anonymous]

To johnnydrama:
I have a few questions for you:
Did she look like the happiest person on Earth when you were around? Did it look like she wanted to tell you something but she didn't? Did you ever see any unprofessional behavior from her? Did you ever notice if anyone else had the slightest idea about the feelings between the two of you? If your answers are yes, yes, no, no (respectively) then I think she is a trustworthy person and is just respecting YOUR position first as a man, and second as a professional. As a woman I would be very very very happy to go ahead and see where such an amazing start would eventually lead, and I definitely think she is extremely smart. She must have seen a whole lot of the world, and if of all the people in it she had feelings for you, give her one date out before she smartly erases you from her heart forever.

[Opinion Owner]

The opinion of @johnnydrama is kind of curious. So, you like her, you know she likes you, and you don't work for that company anymore so there won't be policy problems. Are there any other reasons why you don't talk to her about it? As a girl I know I would be thrilled to hear it!

[BelleGirl21]

Don't say anything about the message to him, that will just make things weird. If you genuinely like him I think you need to casually ask him to dinner or coffee or something. Make it clear that it's a date and not work related. Be prepared for a no answer, because he may really not be interested in mixing work with pleasure. But I think this is one instance where you should take a risk and take the lead.
good luck!

[LAxVogue08]

I am in a similar situation.. could you give me some advise?

www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q1177231-huge-crush-on-my-boss-advise-needed

xoxo

[pooper89]

I have a crush on my boss too. My ex and I split up about a month ago. I just like my boss' personality -we both get along and like cut up.
I doubt I'd take it past flirting. But I think flirting is okay. It's not like it's gonna get you fired unless he doesn't like it.

[countrydude]

I say becareful. Anytime you date. A boss or coworker. It changes the dynamics of the work environment. The age difference is not a factor, actually sounds good.
Then again if you both are attracted to one another, then you should follow your heart. Be cautious we men tend to be dogs and think with our penis not our brain. So b careful. If you have the courage let him know you have a crush.

[dangimconfused]

I've dated someone I worked with and I'll never do it again. Everything starts out fine, you get to see each other all the time. Then it seems overwhelming, No space nor time apart will draw on the relationship. When the break up happens, it's the worst feeling in the world cause you will have to see him all the time. Its worse if you developed feelings for him.