My work crush keeps confiding in me about his marriage issues?

[Anonymous]

I've had a crush on my boss for years but for sake of work and the fact he's married I've kept it professional so far.

he's been married for 8 years and he has a child and I respect that.

But lately his marriage has been taking a really bad turn. I walked in on him during a heated argument over the phone with his wife. I apologised and left but later on he came to find me to explain.

It actually turned into us having a really long deep conversation and him opening up to me a lot. He said he just really needed someone to talk to who had a outsiders opinion on it.

He told me a guys been hanging around his house claiming he's his son real dad and won't leave until he gets answers friends my bosses wife. She's been talking to this guy but won't tell my boss anything so now he's worried his son might not be his and his wife cheated on him.

If I'm totally honest his son looks nothing like him so I can believe it somewhat and I think its really cruel to leave him out the loop especially when it's also to do with him as well she's treating it as if it's not and won't tell him anything.

He's trying to find ways to get a test to see if he is the real dad behind her back and whenever he tries to talk to her about it she shouts and gaslight him.

He's talking about getting a divorce from her too. He keeps crying about it and coming to me to comfort him.

I feel as if I shouldn't be getting involved but I don't just see him as my boss and I care about him deeply I can't see him cry and do nothing. The other night he spent the night sleeping on my sofa as he said he didn't want to be in the house with her in it. We hung out and watched movies and I seemed to be having a really good time for a change.

He started getting really deep into conversation with me again and told me I make him really happy and that he feels like I'm his best friend. I feel like I'm really falling for him but its so messy for him atm I feel like I need to stay away but I don't wanna be friend zoned

[Oliverlogan263]

Damn, that's a messy situation all around. I can see why you care about your boss, but getting more deeply involved could really complicate things.

For starters, even if he does split from his wife officially, pursuing anything romantic right away wouldn't be wise. He needs time to heal and figure his shit out on his own first. Jumping into another relationship won't fix what's broken inside him yet.

As his friend though, I totally get offering support. But you also have to watch out for your own heart - sounds like there's real feelings brewing. Might be best to gently set some boundaries, like not spending the night on your couch and such. Gotta protect your energy too, ya feel?

If he's really becoming like a best friend, that's beautiful. But make sure you're really just friends for now - don't let loneliness or feelings get in the way of clear headed choices.

Overall, just be honest with the dude about needing to take a step back from certain things til legal matters are sorted. And reassure him you'll be there when the dust settles. But keep it professional at work above all else luv. You got this.

[spartan55]

Yeah, God forbid you get friendzoned by the married boss. You are gross. The shit is all going to come crashing down at some point. You can still get away, but it sounds like you have no intention of doing that.