She rejected my Facebook friend request.... but why?

[Anonymous]

So I had this girl in my class who I really liked and I could tell she really liked me as well. I always saw her looking over at me in class. I talked to her from time to time but I was too afraid to ask her out in person so I never let her know that I liked her. Well after the semester ended I sent her a friend request on Facebook and she denied it.

Is it because she thinks I'm too much of a wimp or another reason? Thoughts?

[worzt]

I can share 2 personal experiences that may be like yours:

1.- this girl who I BELIEVED lived like two block away and I pass in front of her house everytime I go to the grocery store, she is REALLY cute, but had had a boyfriend like forever, well ever since I arrived to this town, but she would, like, when I pass and she is with him, she would hug him so he is turning his back at me but she can face me, and then either smiles or sticks her tongue out, and it became kind of a game between us, but I was like too busy for a girlfriend, and never did pursue her, until after a year, I got more free time and was curious, but was like "she is ALWAYS with him", like truly, tried to remember and realized I had never seen her without him, then it hit me :P the one who lived there was HIM, and she was there visiting him, so my chances of randomly find her alone were ZERO, so I sent her a FB request (find the guy among friends of the street and that way founf her), but yeah, she rejected it, HOWEVER, she later ccontacted me (do not know if she saved the adress or just remembered my name) and was like "while I do not think my boy ever catched us, your invite kind of made him suspicious (he was with me when I checked it), so I pretended I had never seen you and rejected it, but he IS kind of alerted, so, you better have my number instead and no contact here", so, maybe she is taken? WILLING perhaps, but TAKEN. (BTW did not pursue her any further).

2.- There was this other girl I had seen in the paths at college, SO not my kind of accuitance, she was kind of emo/punk and all her friends were like that, not one friend in common and she was the only one cute, but yeah, VERY different, and always surrounded by people, this time I found her RANDOMLY, honestly, not even try to look for her because well, I knew nobody on her crew, no clue as to anything about her, so when I found her was pure causality, she rejected the request, and here is the good part. Days after (we RARELY came across each other), when she saw me came to sit by, on the same bench with a friend of hers, I was with a friend myself, and she was (louder than necessary) saying to her girl "not sure, I may intimidate boys, see this guy I lock eyes with, we flirt on the distance but instead to approach me, he went to FB friend me but NOPE, if he wants me he shall come and get me in PERSON". THIS IS THE MOST LIKELY ESCENARIO, and do not worry too much, she was not impressed by me making the first move online, disappointed even, but she did get me a second chance to "come and get her", hey! she even came to tell me what I did wrong is not it?

WORD of advice, those are 2 of the ONLY 3 times I tried using FB as my "first move" (the third one went smoothly), but is not a great idea as you have seen, and you did not even use it as a FIRST, you had already talked to her, so now you know to avoid it, OR if you are going to do it, you have to be BOLD (girl3, I teased her BIG time on message first)

[Asker]

Thanks for the advice. I do think it was a huge mistake to not ask her out in person. I'm not sure if I can do anything now though because I may never see her again anyway.

[worzt]

oh! if you can not find her in person, another experience of a buddy of mine, he liked this girl on a party, surrounded of friens (no one he knew), no way to ever see her again, did not approach her, found her on FB, sent request, got rejected, 4 TIMES :P, he had also kind of made some eye contact with her, but not much more, he believed she remembers him so he messaged her "hey, I am R from Ms party, know we were not introduced but I want to get to know you"

[worzt]

she: "see I do not add guys I do not know in person"

him: "and that is why I say that I want to get to know you, but since I can not find you in person, this is the second best thing I can do"

he was DIRECT, "I am interested in you and want to take you out on a date", and then, since obviously the girl will feel uncomfortable, he went to joke a little to ease it up "and relax, I am no stalker, I am only going to message you like 1000 times a day".

[worzt]

long shot? perhaps, but he was accepted the fifth time, and even got one date (did not work, but at least he got his chance and was not let with "what if I had...?").

see the thing is, now you have NOTHING TO LOSE, and that is why I say, online, you HAVE to be bold, sometimes it is hard, but here it is easy, if you fail, you will not see her again anyway, so you have ZERO risk and EVERYTHING to win, do not go with "hey, I am W from your class, want to be friends?" no!

[worzt]

do not ask, do not aim low, GO FOR IT, be BOLD, be direct, if you fail, you lose nothing, if you succeed it will be GREAT.

BTW Girl3 I met on FB, she is the little sister of a (hot) girl I never liked because of her horrible personality, she was visiting her sis, and she was CLEARLY interested, I was in a hurry and anyway, I could not get near old sis, so I waited, arrived home, found her and was like "I HAD to find you, see, everything in life has a price..."

[worzt]

"... including staring at me the way you did earlier, so I am here to collect"

she of course was like "YOU were eyeing me all over", and I was "well then we both have a debt to pay, is not it?" and then we talked, and yeah "why not approaching me personally" came to the convo, I was like "thought your guardian would see me as a threat", she was like "you probably are", I am like "you bet, that is why I wait till now"

[Asker]

It says: "Your message will go to Sammy's Other folder because you aren't connected to her on Facebook." Damn... I guess that's a fail lol :\

[worzt]

"other folder" is a b!tch :P totally forgotten about that, like last year it was not like that, but I believe it only happens if you are absolutely unconectec, but if you have a common friend (you could try adding one) it will work better

[liketopullout]

Talk to her in person some more. Young people nowadays build up so much of their lives in the virtual world that they no longer feel comfortable trying to interact face-to-face. But it's face-to-face interaction that's important to get through life. Maybe someone could find a programming or data entry job where they never had to interact with real people that often, but it's the personal interactions, conversations and eye-contact that will help you connect with real people, make real friends, and eventually find a life-partner to settle down with. Try to get out and actually experience life a little. You might just find that life's even better without Facebook, Twitter, or smartphones.

Just some advice from a guy with experience under his belt.

[05Jueey]

This guy I thought was flirting with me didn't respond to my fb request.. weird. I don't know why

[questioner1991]

A good reason would be because she never talked to you.

[Asker]

Well we chatted from time to time, it's not like we never ever talked.

[BoobMan]

It could be anything. The only way to know is to talk to her. The time to send a girl a friend request is AFTER you've had a few conversations with her.

[Asker]

Very good advice. I wonder if I should message her now or if it's too late. Also - I wanted to talk to her but the last two days of class she rushed out quickly and I couldn't get to her, maybe I should let her know that.

[BoobMan]

No. I think you need to wait until you run into her elsewhere on campus and then start a real life conversation.

[blazethetrail]

Talk to her more. Get to know her if you can. Sending a Facebook invite too early can creep her out. I've done it myself. Then, ask her to add you (you tried adding her and it failed, so let her do it this time). She might limit her page to family and close friends. And above all else, remember, it's just a website :)

[asdaven]

Women get all weirded out over Facebook friend request. Like a guy is stalking them or hitting on them. I just Facebook request all the people I know if I come across them. Its just Facebook chill people.

[Anonymous]

She could just want to keep the mystery there a little bit longer. That is why I would do it.

[TheReturnofDre]

You didn't convince her enough for the D bro.

[Anonymous]

You probably don't know her very well..

[lj0070]

Maybe, she is seeing someone at the moment.

[Anonymous]

Probably because you already have a girlfriend

[Woman2005]

LOL Perfect response. I was thinking the same thing looking at the picture

[Asker]

That's an old picture lol