Dear White People: It's Not [All] About You

[Elarra]

A few months ago, I posted a question on this very site about Netflix creating a show around the much talked about movie ‘Dear White People’ that would have the same name. And, to no surprise, this sparked outrage. Well, whatever outrage you could possible have on G@G, anyway. Check out the question, poll, and responses here.

The point is, the show was perceived by many to have racial undertones. Why? Well, because of it’s name. And I’ll admit, hearing the title ‘Dear White People’ does tell you that this show will deal with race in some way. But did it deal with it in the way people thought it would?

The short answer is no. That’s because it was thought that the show would be an attack on white people. But was it actually?

Again, the short answer is no. Allow me to explain. **Spoilers ahead**

The title is not racist. At all. Not even a little bit.

This argument in and of itself is completely stupid. Using the word 'white' or phrase 'white people' isn't racist just like using the word 'black' or phrase 'black people' isn't racist. The fact that the title begins with ‘dear’ means that it is addressing a person or talking to a person, not necessarily talking about them.

Think about it terms of a cover letter.

For those of you who do not know what a cover letter is, a cover letter is an overview about yourself that you present to an employer during the pre-employment stage. That could mean posting it online or bringing it with you to an interview. It lists out your qualifications, your philosophies, and what you could possibly bring to the table.

You know what it doesn’t talk about? How great is the employer. A cover letter is about YOU, not your employer, and it’s about your personal experience. We all learned in grade school that to begin a letter, the common format is ‘Dear so and so’.

Literally my cover letter, as a teacher, begins with ‘Dear -Potential Employer’s Name-’.

Basically, the title is stating that something is about to be said TO you to INFORM you of something. To assume that it’s all about you just because someone is writing you or speaking to you is narcissistic. The show is about things that many black people go through simply because they are black that the majority of white people will never experience simply for being white. I as an American cannot understand what it is like living a life in North Korea and I wouldn't be offended if someone told me that because it's true. It also deals with sexual orientation and self identity which I’ll discuss later in one of the last points.

There are things in the show that white people actually do to people of color, even if though most of the time there is no ill intent, and, yes, it’s annoying.

Now, I don’t know about those ‘blackface’ parties on the show as I don't know how much of an issue that really is, but other than that, the truth is that there are things in this series that white people do, even if they don’t mean anything by it, that I personally have experienced myself. For instance, Samantha White, the girl who hosts the radio Samantha White, the leader of the black student union and voice to the radio show ‘Dear White People’ in the series on Winchester’s college campus, said in the very first episode, “Dear white people, here’s a little tip. When you ask someone who looks ethnically different, ‘What are you?’, the answer is usually, ‘A person about to slap the s—t out of you.’”

Now I, personally, don’t necessarily get offended by this question. But it’s annoying when I’m asked this by people several times a month. In fact, I just got my hair done at a salon a few days ago and had two white stylists separately ask me ‘What are you?’ The first couple times, yeah, okay, I get it, but then you get to the point where it’s just downright annoying having to answer a question over and over and over again.

It’s also a bit of an ignorant question to assume that because someone is say lighter than most of their race or have different features than most of their race that they must be mixed with something. My sister is three shades darker than I am and most [white] people assume we aren’t blood sisters when we have the same parents.

Also note that she said ‘someone who looks ethnically different.’ That could be anyone from black to Asian to Hispanic.

It’s just a truth. People of color say things like this, but the truth is that white people tend to do these things more than people of color, no matter what ethnic group those people belong to. It’s a fact. If you don’t like it, then don’t be one of the people who does it.

The white boyfriend is actually a positive white character. And, yes, white people like that do exist.

And they do. I’ve dated several white guys. My sister’s husband is white. My cousin’s husband is white. And they act just like Sam’s boyfriend, Gabe.

He doesn’t ever pretend to be one of them or try to fit in. But he’s dating a woman who is half black. She hangs around her black friends. And no one wants to be a secret from their loved one’s friends and family, so of course he wants to be involved in her life.

And he’s not a push over. He gives Sam ultimatums. He walked out on her in the first episode when she allowed her friend Reggie to get in his face and start an argument. He called her out on her dumb standard of not wanting people to know they’re together because of a simplistic post on social media. He ended up leaving her when he found out that she slept with Reggie. And then at the end of the series, he tells her they will never work and leaves her. Sam is literally tearing up during a riot outside a townhall meeting on campus as Gabe walks away from her because SHE fucked up. And she did.

Where in the world people are getting that Gabe is a push over is beyond me. I personally think that anyone, regardless of race, should take a page out of his book. Have respect for yourself, but also have respect for your partner and understand them. However, don’t put up with bullshit and lies, either. If someone, in this case Sam, isn’t going to willingly accept all of you into their life without shame, then they shouldn’t be in your life. Period.

Gabe represents the better half of someone who is ethnically different from others. He can’t directly relate to their struggles or animosity, but he also doesn’t sweep their concerns under the rug and is able to admit that there may, just MAY be a problem that needs to be fixed, even if he belongs to the group that is perceived to be the root of the issue.

You also have to consider that this same group of black people whine and complain about how white people don’t get their struggle or even listen. Then you have Gabe here who is trying to hear them, but the second he makes a mistake, he’s outcasted. We, as black people, can’t ask white people to understand something and then get mad when they don’t fully get it. That’s just stupid. You have a white person willing to listen and then you tell him to go away? That just doesn’t make sense. “I want you to admit that there is a struggle but don’t help us try to fix it.” I mean, come on. And some black groups are guilty of doing this.

Part of the show is how blacks feel about how some white people treat them. The majority is how we treat ourselves as a race and the divides that some black people create themselves.

It’s no secret that some black people have a divide within our own race. My mother is light skin and my dad dark, but I take after my mother in that area. And because I'm lighter, I've been told I'm a prettier black woman, that I'll find a man faster, get a job easier, and be desired more. All because I'm lighter.

And the MAIN people who tell me that are not white.

Shocked? Don’t be.

Sam and her former best friend, Coco, get in to it in the first episode. Sam is mixed with grey eyes and Coco is a dark skinned black woman who’s real name is Colandrea.

Coco talks about how Sam’s hair isn’t really natural since she’s mixed while Sam goes in on Coco’s self hatred of her own hair and that’s why she wears wigs and weaves. Then there’s an episode where Coco goes to a party where you’re supposed to be picked up by a man. Every white woman is picked up, but her. Then her love, Troy, interest wants to be with Sam and is with her formally. But when he gets with Coco, he tells her they were never really together and it was just a friends with benefits thing. Coco hates her natural hair and even goes so far as to tell Sam to check her light skin privilege. So, yes, self hatred is real and it’s a main issue being addressed in this series.

Coco struggles with trying to fit in somewhere even going as far as to try to get into a sorority to Sam’s dismay and the two eventually grow far apart.

Then there’s the sexual orientation. Lionel is first formally introduced and elaborated on in the second episode of the series where he is seen jacking off to his roommate, Troy, getting it in with Coco in the next room. Lionel is a virgin and wants to be one of the bigger, tougher black guys but when given the chance to have sex with a white woman, he laughs. Why? Well, turns out the person turning him on wasn’t Coco. It was Troy. And, again, it’s no secret that being gay is extremely taboo within many black communities. If I had to guess, it’s more so unacceptable to blacks than it is to whites. To make it worse, Lionel is a nerd. He went to a costume party in high school dressed as Geordi la Forge from Star Trek and was made fun of not by white people, but by blacks.

Then there’s how ridiculous some black people can be sometimes. Like when Sam blamed Gabe for Reggie being held at gun point at a party. Reggie got into it with the white host of the party for saying the ‘n’ word in a rap song. When it looked like the two were about to fight, Gabe called the police. The police officer, not believing Reggie was a student, held him at gunpoint when Reggie didn’t immediately produce an ID badge whereas the white guy wasn't asked at all, even going so far as trying to vouch for Reggie himself. Sound familiar?

Reggie should have held up his ID when the police officer first asked. But then Coco pointed out that everyone was being ridiculous for being mad at Gabe for the situation even happening. Why? Well, because it’s not Gabe’s fault that Reggie almost started a fight over a word in a rap song. And Gabe didn’t know the cop would do that. All in all, the entire situation was Reggie’s fault. And despite what the media and some white people believe, not all black people jump the gun to blame whites. But the second some of us do, we are then also outcasted. That’s a problem.

And the black community can’t agree sometimes on how to handle a situation. Troy and Coco want to talk it out with a town hall meeting and use politics. Lionel wants to publish stories in the school paper. Sam wants to riot and do lunch sit-ins. There’s conflict within the black community, and I think this show does a good job addressing that.

If there was a show called ‘Dear Black People’, there would be protests.

Maybe.

What, did you think I was going to disagree?

I wouldn’t be surprised if there was only because there’s not much that black people or any racial group for that matter think that white people have anything to complain about. Then again, there may not be. Like I said earlier, the title is talking to someone, not about someone. So I guess it would depend on what the show was about. But I’m sure also that just like some white people there would be blacks that boycotted Netflix, too, without actually seeing the series for what it was. Ignorance doesn’t discriminate and can be found among everyone regardless of race or gender.

So maybe, just maybe, instead of reading the title and seeing it as an ‘attack’, why not take it as a chance to actually see from someone elses point of view? You don’t have to agree with everything. And you can be offended by some things. But can you honestly say that there isn’t at least one thing about this show that has some type of merit?

[RolandCuthbert]

Look Elarra, that post was so well thought out. It is so well written. It covers a lot of ground on race, self-hatred, homophobia in the "Black" community, acceptance, respect. . .

But this may not be the best forum for these types of discussions. It is hard to teach people about anti-racism, when they don't even know what racism is or what racism does.

I used to lead a race/culture discussion group. And a lot of times the conversation would get out of hand, especially when it came to the "Black"/"White" dynamic. There was just too much animosity, guilt, and weirdness. So I tried to have the group focus on the American Indian experience. I had the group watch excerpts from a film called, "The Business of FancyDancing". You may have heard of it. It is by Sherman Alexie.

Well, needless to say, the whole thing went straight over their heads. They simply could not grasp this nuanced, unique, highly emotional perspective. The principle character was an American Indian poet, who left the reservation. He hated his upbringing, he hated being an American Indian, yet all of his work was about his life on the reservation. There is a brilliant scene from when he was a toddler. It shows them in a truck in a blizzard. The snow was coming down so hard, you could barely see. Then out of nowhere you see a man and a woman stumble toward the truck. You realize, that these are the parents, and they parked the truck outside the bar. They could not afford a babysitter, so they would just stick the kids in the truck and come out and check on them every couple of hours. Just so they could get drunk. But despite all of this, he was proud to be an American Indian. A gay American Indian. Deeply ashamed and absolutely proud.

I just think most people hide behind these primary colors, "Black". "White", "Yellow", "Red", as though these actually define all of these nuanced experiences and identities. There is simply too much fear, for most to go further than that. To see what they actually have in common.

It like they fear that they will lose something or some edge. It is so hard to describe. But one thing is for certain, you won't fun that kind of perspective here at GaG. Or among most in public.

And I guess I can't really articulate why. All I can say is you are just going to see post after post of confusion, hurt feelings, shame, guilt, anger, and fear.

Not many are trained in this whole seeking and understanding deal.

But it was a noble attempt.

:)

[Elarra]

I know lol. I'm actually interested in seeing who all will still argue that it's racist. So far, most people are still sticking with the racist title but I haven't seen anyone address the rest of Take for real. Probably because it's true lol

[meatballs21]

Yours (and @Elarra 's) quality of insight are wasted before much of the audience here. 👍

[RolandCuthbert]

Yeah, well there was one gentleman who posted something very well thought out. But not many others will engage, they can't even absorb what you wrote. I mean, I showed the scene with the American Indian children in the truck from the movie, everyone in the group just sat there with their mouths open.

Its like they were trained on what the American Indian experience was like their whole lives. And when something authentic was shown to them, it fried their brains.

How can people who don't understand race, never talked about it, or discussed it in any detail understand the "Black" community's issues with homophobia? Or how "Black" nerds are perceived?

As that lady Princess said. . ."I couldn't get pass the title". I am sure she did, but then she reached a divide by zero error.

But anyway, you would really enjoy Sherman Alexie work. He was doing the American Indian version of Dear White People years ago.

"Smoke Signals"

www.bing.com/.../search

[RolandCuthbert]

@meatballs21 Well, I was actually just telling that to Elarra. But she seems to be the type that likes to shake things up.

:)

[Elarra]

It's true, I do lol. I'm a controversial writer. I don't write fluff or things to make people feel good. I give the truth. You don't have to like it, but there it is for all to see.

[SarahsSummer]

Unfortunately when people use the labels "white or "black" there is a racial element. I haven't seen or even heard of this show so I couldn't presume to understand what it was about other than in some way race would be addressed.

[SarahsSummer]

Thanks for the MHO Elarra💟

[Whatthefluff]

I can understand this, but as a white person myself, the title seems sort of offensive.

[Chico_brah]

So hopefully this doesn’t become awkward because we talk on here. Also considering that you’re black and I’m white (well half white/mexican). I’m going to throw all of that aside because it shouldn’t matter in the discussion.

So I’m going to address your thoughts on the title. The title “Dear White People” was well thought out and it servers a purpose of ulterior motives subsiding from your cover letter analogy. It’s not that innocent. The writers of this show intentionally came up with the title in attempt to garner up hysteria. This brings more attention towards their show and gets more people talking about it. It’s pretty much an internet “click-bait”.

“If there was a show called ‘Dear Black People’, there would be protests.” Is contracting towards your narrative in a couple of reasons. You’re sort of playing out the title to be synonymously recognized as a cover letter, yet you recognize that blacks would have outcry if it were in the reverse. So essentially you’re indirectly admitting that it does have a racial dividing impact that upsets people. BUT.. only when it impacts and upsets blacks. You see how the consistency is sort of lost here? Why is it that there is logical reasoning as to why it would upset blacks, but it’s “not even a little bit” when it’s applied to whites?

One thing that the black community loves to do is attempt to say that white’s opinions are not valid for the fact that they are not black themselves. This logic is completely asinine because you don’t need to be a certain skin color to have the cognitive ability to process rational analytical skills. A brain surgeon does not need a malignant brain tumor to operate on a patient who does. I digress, but the fact is that you stated blacks don’t feel as if whites have complain anything about. Therefore, a black person’s outcry is valid, whilst a white person's outcry is invalid and mocked. Blacks and Whites both face issues and if one side is going to say that only their opinion matters, and is correct on an absolute level, then they have completely deviated from what would be considered rational thought. That within itself fits the criteria of narcism. It’s as if the more outcry there is in the black community, the more justification they deserve. That concept only works within the black community.

[Chico_brah]

Racism is portrayed in movies and TV shows all the time, and this is nothing new. The issue arises when a TV show exploits the concept of racism in our country on this false pretense narrative of social awareness. They are creating this false idea of how blacks and whites communicate in our daily lives. They are falsifying reality and creating this idea that all these issues are propagated by this idea of institutional racism. Institutional racism by definition is not not applicable to our racial issues here in the US for the US does not have any laws restricting blacks to any privileges that whites have.

[Chico_brah]

There was one particular scene that caught my eye and it was the main girl, the radio host, where she was crying saying that white’s racist causes institutional racism and causes black people to get shot on the street for no other reason than being black. I understand that blacks have every right to voice their racial issues but when you do so on the premise of deception and lies, it’s wrong. This is just a classic example of someone playing the victim mentality and making sure their voice is heard by any means possible. When someone makes up lies to do this, it’s wrong. That’s why I believe this show is racist.

[Chico_brah]

This show is based on social awareness and therefore it has a sort of influential ability. It’s subtle enough so that your basic viewer would not pick up on these things at surface level. This show clearly has an agenda though and it’s not as innocent as people think. They are attempting to influence people into this certain way of thinking by any means possible.

[Chico_brah]

Saying that racism just must be a thing out there in the ether doesn’t accomplish anything. It just creates a bolder racial divide. This show doesn’t make me feel more connected to blacks, it makes me feel as if I have to act a certain way towards blacks essentially filtering myself because according to this show, by default, I’m in the wrong and they are to be respect as victims. This show makes me feel as if blacks and whites are so different from one another when in reality we not much different at all. This show makes out white people to be on this sort of generic cut out along with black. They accomplish this on the foundation of lies and over exaggerations.

[Chico_brah]

Truthfully, I’m just so sick of hearing about this racial divide. I’m sick of being told I’m some privileged guy that had everything handed to me because of the fact that I’m white. I’m sick of being told that I can’t have an opinion on these issues because I’m white. I’m sick of being told I’m racist for openly expressing my opinions on these issues. I’m sick of the media victimizing blacks to the point where I’m supposed to inherently feel bad for them, thus adjusting my communication towards them. I hate that my black friends often feel hostility towards whites because the media makes us to look as if we are terrible people.

[Chico_brah]

I’m sick of media making blacks feel as if they can’t walk outside because law enforcement is going to shoot them for no other reason than being black. I hate this cop-killing rhetoric that black lives matter often advocates. I just hate racism in general. I think people are so on edge with racism to a point where it makes everyone uncomfortable. When I was in the Marine Corps, we made racial jokes towards each other all the time and it was all in good humor. We didn’t care, we weren’t white or black, we were all green. We can’t even do that anymore because of what the leftist media is creating, which is a racial divide. This show is a part of this and is creating a racial divide. This is why I absolutely despise this show.

[TuMeManques]

OH MY GOSH, I love everything you've said. So well put and my feelings mirror yours. Well done 👌🖒👏

[RedThread]

The only issue is the fact that yes you do have a mind that you're more than capable of using but it's hard for anyone to identify with the life of a different groupthat they haven't themselves experienced. This goes both ways. I don't know what it's like to grow up black in America just like someone who is black hasn't grown up white in America. I think the divide doesn't come from voices being silenced but instead everyone's inability to listen. You can't just target "the black community" for having these shortcomings if that's indeed what was implied. I don't want to out words into your mouth

Yes Dear White People sparked controversy with the name (which garnered a lot more than the movie for whatever reason) but as explained over the course of the series, how often are peaceful protests and organized debates covered by the media? Even during the Civil rights movement, it was anarchists that challenged authority that got the most media exposure. (cont)

[RedThread]

I think that's a massive aspect of our culture that has to change. Views should be considered for their validity not for how much noise they make. Unfortunately, we don't live in such a world.

My other criticism is that if you're sick of being hyper aware of race or being reduced to a race-based generalization then think about people who are always aware of it. Stereotypes exist for everyone and some assholes will treat us based on those stereotypes. Do two wrongs make a right? Of course not but by pretending race doesn't exist does some people a disservice. We should be at least somewhat aware of race so we don't inadvertently say fucked up shit or treat someone according to ridiculous stereotypes.

Kind of got ranty at the end but not all cops are bad just like not all white or black people are bad. We should aspire to root out the bad and corruption in all groups for all of our well-being. (cont)

[RedThread]

Now I know you said you didn't finish the show but Samantha White wasn't treated a hero. The radio woman to clarify. In the final episode, it was Lionel the nerd who actually changed things through his words because he finally had an avenue to talk where people could listen.

Sam cheated on her boyfriend and he left her. Also Coco told Sam that she can't tell white people how they are when she doesn't even know who she is herself. There are a lot of varied voices. In my opinion it doesn't come off as black versus white but instead hard black versus hard white with most moderates in the middle.

I also don't agree with all the opinions of the mytake owner either.

[Elarra]

It's not awkward. I'm not going to stop talking to you just because we have a difference in opinion. That's immature.

But I did want to touch on one thing you said because a lot of the things you did say I agreed with. But you state: "One thing that the black community loves to do is attempt to say that white’s opinions are not valid for the fact that they are not black themselves. This logic is completely asinine because you don’t need to be a certain skin color to have the cognitive ability to process rational analytical skills."

You're looking at it from a different perspective than how it's addressed in the series. You, as a white man, will never know what it's like to be a black woman in America. You just won't. Fact. And I won't know what it's like to be you. Again, fact. For instance, my first teaching interview, I was asked if I was capable of teaching their white students. No joke. Of course, that's just one jackass. To understand the judgments made against me, you'd have to

[Elarra]

... be me and you aren't. That's just life. I can't reason my way into a Japanese experience. I can't reason my way into a broken home experience. I can't reason my way into a nurse's experience. But I can listen and be understanding.

[RedThread]

This show is bloody brilliant. Instead of an attack on white people as a lot of white people perceive, it's actually an attack on society and how we view each other. This show discusses a lot of delicate social issues and navigates it with satire. It's funny how they predicted the reactions to the title making it all about them by #AllLivesMattering that shit. I totally just quoted Samantha White.

images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/.../...268_AL_.jpg

So many people thought Gabe is a simp but he was one of the least flawed characters of the show and he's white. He never presumed to understand what black Americans go through but he did what he could just because he tries his best to be a decent human being. Above all else he wanted to connect to Sam's world due to his love for her. Although I liked the Gabe more in the movie incarnation. He was more personable. Either way he's a guy I can really identify with.

This show goes after things like identity politics and the fact that we are all just trying to find a place where we can be treated like an individual and belong. To be truly loved and accepted is a beautiful thing. You saw this with Lionel coming to grips with the fact that he's gay for one example.

It tackles colorism, self-hatred, divides within black and white communities, the fact that everyone feels like their voices aren't heard or that they're being silenced, and other issues people just want to pretend don't exist or sweep under the rug.

I think I have a low key crush on the actress who plays Colandrea too although the character she played was kind of annoying at times but there was a reason for that. I love how she always comes off as a badass but as soon as Troy messed with her hair she became super vulnerable.

Joelle was absolutely hilarious with memorable quotes such as 'I'd never let a white man colonize my body' and after Gabe mentioned he was a community organizer, 'look at you Disney Channel Obama' 😂👍🏼 She was such a riot.

Anyway it's a quality show and I'd recommend it to anyone. Just jump into it with an open mind and try to realize the show isn't targeting you. Don't make it all about you. This show pisses off the right people and makes people think who are patient enough to get the message.

[RedThread]

And omg can we talk about the Scandal spoof called Defamation on the show? I died so damn hard at that. It was so spot on.

[SovereignessofVamps]

You made me want to check this show out.

[America1st]

I'm not going to go into a lot here. I am White and could care less what a person is. I have to say that I'm sick of the only people that can be racist are Whites. I worked with Blacks for 15 years in Black neighborhoods. There were many who made no effort to hide that they hated me because of my skin. My son, when he was in High School and a few others wanted to start a White history club. There were Hispanic, Black ans a few others. The school would not allow it and a lot of the Black kids called it being racist. The Black lives matter people are very racist. all of our lives matter. Race has nothing to do with it. We had a Black president. I didn't like him and it wasn't because of his color. If it wasn't for Whites, He wouldn't have won. I thought that he would work hard to change the race issues in our country and all he did is make it much worse. He immediately came out, several times, convicting White people as guilty before the investigation into the cases were started. Remember the Duke LaCrosse players. Yea, they paid a huge price for something that they never did. I didn't hear any Black leaders come out and apologize for what they all said. If it's White on Black it bad. If it's Black on White, it's okay. What do you think would happen if a TV station came out called "The White entertainment Network" started up. You know, I don't have to tell you. Why in the world should our nation pay Blacks today for what went on in the slavery days. That's just crazy thinking! I never had any issues with Blacks before all this. I have had many Black friends over the years. I had two Black girlfriends when i was younger. There are good and bad people in every race and nationality. I'm sick of how it is today and I have anger over it. It doesn't make me hate anybody, But I'm sick to death of being called a racist if I disagree or don't like a Black person. I was sick of every White being called racist when they disagreed with Obama. It just had to be race. That is BS. I'm not saying there weren't people who had race issues. But not all White people who didn't like him were racist. You don't see White people rioting and damaging property and hurting people just because they "think" something was racist. I agree Blacks had a hard time in the past. I think a lot of what goes on today is brought on by Blacks. Sharpton and Jackson would be poor men if they didn't keep racism going. Democrats use racism all the time. My Black friends agree with what I've said.

[Elarra]

Nothing you said had anything to do with the Take lol

[America1st]

I think it does. Ten years ago I would have checked out the Dear White People show. Now, the title just told me it was to show White people how bad they are. Attitudes have a lot to do with these things. My attitude has greatly changed with all that I mentioned. My lack of racism hasn't changed, but my attitude on these things has. Again, I would have checked out the show and now, I'm sick of being preached to about how bad Whites are and have been. MLK would be rolling over in his grave if he knew what has and is happening. He would be sharply against what his followers, Jackson, Sharpton and the rest have done. If you can't admit the stuff I've said, you just don't want to look at both sides, just one. Also, I know all Blacks aren't like those I spoke of, but they don't speak up near enough. They don't want to be called Uncle Toms or any other of the crap that is thrown at then if they do. When you talk about right and wrong, race should never come into the conversation.

[Elarra]

"Now, the title just told me it was to show White people how bad they are."

That just tells me you didn't read my Take at all because that is clearly addressed in the Take.

[America1st]

You're right and I should have. I read part and decided I didn't want to go on. I'm a good non-racist man who really doesn't care about race. I am also a White person that is totally fed up with being a White Privileged person. I'm fed up with all the bull and I treated your post as one more thing telling me how bad I am. I will apologize for that. Like I said, ten years ago my attitude was nothing like it is today. MLK was a great man. I was there and admired him a lot. I'm 64, not 44 like the site says. I remember Sharpton and Jackson being with him. The Black leaders and a lot of others speak so highly about him, yet they are the opposite of him. He achieved a lot for the Black community. Today his memory is trashed by those here today. The Democrats talk about him in great ways, but they never include the whole truth because it shows their BS is just that. Tell most Blacks that he was a Republican and they get all over you. Say the Republicans passed the Civil Rights bill, you lied

[Leraleira]

Who cares? I'm sick of blacks and their whining. American blacks are the ones victimizing themselves. That's the root of their problem. Was there racism and slavery in the past? Yes! Those days are gone now though and none of you were ever slaves (and no whites you'll meet were ever slave owners). Is there still racism today? Yes! There is racism today and there will always be. There is racism towards all races though. Difference is, black people take it to heart, keep victimizing themselves and keep showing the racists they're right. Many of you have such low self esteem that if a white person as much as looks at you then you believe they're racist, ironically if they don't look at you then you take that too as they're racist.

Stop committing crime, stop being thugs, stop playing illiterate when you're not, stop turning your neighbourhoods into ghettos, stop treating your kids like punching bags and stop having sex with anything that moves. Also, stop asking both yourselves and other people "is it because I'm black", because most likely no it fucking isn't because you're black.

You need to grow up, start taking responsibility for yourselves and stop acting like you're victims. If you believe you're less valuable than people of other races, and that you're incapable of providing and caring for yourselves, then guess what - the rest of us will take your word for it. Keep shooting each other, keep crying that your failures are the white mans fault and stay in your ghetto hoods claiming there is no way you can get out of there and yeah, the rest of the population will believe you and see you as the baby you're acting like and claiming to be. People look down on you because you look down on yourselves. They look down on you because you claim to not be capable of succeeding in life even though you have the exact same rights as everybody else in the country have.

I'm sure I'm not the only one sick of the never ending whining and accusations coming from blacks and this show comes across as just that, whining and accusations, so if some white people have reacted to the title/the show that's really no wonder.

[AuroraRoseat]

What's interesting is that all of what you said merely perpetuates the negative racial attitudes and stereotypes towards blacks because you are blaming the victims for their plight in society when it is not the groups' fault at all. It's a consistent oppression in society to uphold systematic white supremacy.

In essence, you're a racist and you don't realize it.

[MyThoLoGy]

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funnyfilez.funnypart.com/.../...sm_at_hogwarts.jpg

I am black, and I find those funny. I rather laugh at the creativity these people go through to make these. To be honest, those who hate black people don't really have a good reason. That is why you should pay no attention to them. Move to Canada, we accept white, black, yellow, blue... Etc all colors. Ps did you know the real skin color of humans is black? Look it up. Anyway, there are jokes on all the races:

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Funny lol, nothing personal, most of these people who made these are probably noy even racist, they just thought of it. (Probably)

[cipher42]

Maybe there's jokes about white people, but those jokes don't end up with white people being shot or facing hugely disproportionate levels of incarceration.

[JohnSmith627]

@cipher42 In what way is unintentional-racism responsible for blacks "being shot" and "facing hugely disproportionate levels of incarceration?" Please elaborate.

[hellionthesagereborn]

Well the reason why "dear white people" is offensive isn't because of the words but because it lets the audience know right from the start that white people will be blamed accused, mischaracterized etc. etc. while also portraying black people as innocent victims never having done any of the shit that they accuse white people of (hint: they do do it, just as frequently). If your offended by a question of nationality then your thinned skin and you need to suck it up. It may not be tactful but its not an insult either (just like "dear white people" is not in and of itself insulting (by your own reasoning). As for things white people say to blacks, do you think that blacks do not say stupid idiotic things to white people as well? Because they do. When you hear some one tell a white person they are not athletic because of their skin color or that they have it good because of their skin color, or that they are privileged some how in some vague undefinable and unmeasurable way, or how they even say that white people don't have "swag"(which isn't even a real god damn word), that's some of the stupid shit that blacks and other groups say (its ironic that we talk about all the evils of white people in a nation that is predominantly white, has lower crime rates then any other group despite this (with the exception of Asians) and while you mention "black student union" even though it is deemed racist for their to be a white student union (and sexist for a male student union because "reasons")) So that's why people lashed out at it, its just showing itself as another pity party for blacks while they blame everything on white people, never address their own actions or the consequences of said actions that got them into what ever shitty situation they find themselves in etc. etc. etc. Nobody wants to deal with that. Imagine if we did a show called "Dear black people" what do you think would be the response? Would you defend it? I'm just going to answer that for you since you won't be honest, the answer is no, you would call it racist, because every one calls anything and everything racist. Hell if a white person wears dread locks they are punished for it (despite the fact that dread locks are found in every culture and every continent dating back long before contact with other groups). So, that's where their "ire" comes from.

[Elarra]

Most of your 'points' were already discussed in my Take in depth so my question to you is did you read it or skim it? Because it sounds like you skimmed it. That or you didn't understand what I said.

[Stmarco]

Ayyyy a guy with a brain

[hellionthesagereborn]

Oh? You addressed how black people do the same things to whites then and thus trying to single out white people is incredibly racist? You said that? You said how all of the accusations are pretty much baseless and yet get distorted into a racial thing, that is everything is made to be racist even as blacks are just as (arguably more so) racist? You mentioned that? Did you mention how if a white person says anything that criticizes any one in the black community for anything its considered racist but blacks can say what ever they want to the point where they can have an entire show revolving around whites being "ignorant" or racially "insensitive" while blacks are portrayed as just perfect wonderful people who have never done anything wrong even as they stereotype white people (fun fact just in the goddamn preview I saw they portrayed whites as successful yuppies even though their are more poor whites then their are of any other group in this nation), you mentioned all of that?

[Midget_Hug]

This is too convenient though. The title was chosen to garner attention not because it is some innocent consideration by an accidental team of writers who don't know what they are doing. I feel like the business aspect of the whole thing is just being overlooked as if it is purely a sociological construct and so forth and so on.

The title was a business decision chosen to spark controversy. This generates talk which generates posts like these and discussion which generates views. I don't want to make it sound that simple but it is; using controversy to make money is just nothing new.

The content of the series itself is divorced from this but it doesn't do justice to the complex nature of external or internal racial issues. This is actually held in the problem of characterization. Now it might be because writing is something I know well and critiquing the same but the way the characters are designed and the way the situations are presented is really done to fit a very distinct model of what people actually expect.

So instead of being an open conversation it is purely entertainment and should not be mistaken for anything but. There is no sociological impact in the show but instead is actually a recap, if you will, of what people already know or believe. It is a confirmation of concepts rather than an exploration of zones that really need to be sought out and fleshed out like they may in small-time documentaries about life in projects and such.

I think the entire reason why it works, why it sparked anything, was because it was business as usual. The formulas are all there to the stories. There is nothing "outside the box" in the series. There is nothing extremely interesting and it is specifically revolving around the subtle topic of race and even in the first episode as you noted the subtle behavior isn't even secretive.

This isn't "Ordinary Men", a book about men who join the Nazi regime due to nationalism, and the exploration of what eventually became their depraved states or "James Bond", the books, in which Bond eventually begins breaking down based on the horrible acts he has to commit. This show lacks the humanity required to make progress on the ideas much like Bond movies remove the disruption of Bond's psyche so he's badass and movies about Nazis are always about these naturally evil men.

It sells better than discussing self-disgust in the real light and the conflict between being black and being "black enough" and so forth in the community

[RJGraveyTrain]

I've seen the show, and frankly, don't care for it. We all talk about race, how you can't judge based on race, can't assume based on race, and the primary focus of the show is "shit white people do." I think we're in a time of racial divide, and instead of pointing fingers at one race or another, we need to acknowledge the problems outside of Netflix dramas and band together. I'm not saying white people don't do what is portrayed in the show, and I don't deny the right for there to be historical representations of our past and realize that white people have done a lot of fucked up stuff. But you even said it yourself: if the title was "Dear black people", and it depicted a bunch of ruthless thugs shooting people up and speaking illiterately, there would be an even BIGGER outrage.

I think we are obsessed with who has it better and worse, instead of coming together and banding together, we're making enemies of each other. I've never tried to downplay what happens to any particular race, but I will come out and say that I find it ironic that when white people take issue with anything against them, we're expected to basically "shut up and take it", because "white people have done x, y and z and still do to this day."

That doesn't make it any less offensive, it doesn't make it okay. Not in my opinion. Ever since I've grown up, in my country we have black history month, there's always been discussion about racism and the "black perspective", but maybe people should try to see this from a "white perspective" and try to understand that not everybody thinks this is okay nor a proper representation of all of us. The same way not every movie showing a black stereotype represents all of you.

That's really all I have to say. But I want to see what @Chico_Brah has to say about this too, considering he posted a similar question.

[RJGraveyTrain]

Mind you, the show did have some moments I agreed with and over all - it doesn't totally break my heart that it exists, but I can say I still don't care much for it.

[JDavid25]

That just kinda shows that you went into this with a defensive mentality, which is why nobody can come together, because people don't want to fully understand the other side, they half way do it, and want their side to still have the last say.. Also, "White" don't have a singular reputation seeing like "Black" people do.. You still never got the point of the show, and see it as "Oh it's just making us "White" people look stupid".. Tss.. SMH..

[RJGraveyTrain]

@JDavid25 That isn't actually what I said - I did acknowledge that there ARE good points in the show but the overall message, whether you want to make it out to sound nicer, is highlighting white racism against black people - which, mind you, has been done regularly throughout history. I'm not at all being defensive, and never implied the show made white people look stupid like you claim, but it is depicting and focusing on white on black racism with a universal title that addresses an entire race of people, ultimately grouping us all together whether or not that was intention. I get that the point of the show is to address that racism exists, but it's perspective, to me, is limited to one side of a coin. Yes, historically white people were indeed extremely racist, but in our modern age it seems that none racist white people are being group together with people who knowingly did wrong, when we haven't, and if any of us speak up about it, we're pushed back and essentially told we...

[RJGraveyTrain]

@JDavid25 ... Have no right to say anything. That we can be portrayed and represented in media however without being allowed to offer fair criticism. Overall, I don't think the entirety of the show is bad, I think everyone has the right to create and put out a message within reason, but there were things in the show that I didn't like, didn't agree with. If that is wrong in any way to anybody they're at their liberty to feel that way but I think that this generation is extremely obsessed with race and division, comparing who has it better than someone else, and a lot of extremism and finger pointing is coming out of it. I would like to see, one day, that we can stop looking at each other as belonging to one group or another and realize that all fellow men and women are being wronged, every day, mostly by the people who rule over us. Yes, some more than others, I don't deny that, but nonetheless I hope you understand my point.

[wildchildx]

Smart cookie

[Chico_brah]

I responded. TY for tag.

[JDavid25]

Actually, the show really isn't even generally about "White" people being racist against "Black" people.. It's satire.. It's exaggerating some events to give a comedic feel to the narrative.. It's not sayin "White" people are racist the end.. It's saying, y'all need to be aware that minorities are humans too.. But then you also missed the point that much of the show is actually about the problems within the "Black" community more than actual "White" people.. It's actual more of a letter to "Black" people saying "yeah this country ain't the best to us, but sometimes we are our own worst enemy".. The show criticize both side, mainly "Black" people, so that's why I said that you went in the way you did.. Because although you may not have been offended, you still went in on the defense, or you would have gotten that that's what the show has been saying.. Also, most of the media don't put "White" people in much of a bad light..

[JDavid25]

Also, yeah, you kinda right that people don't like to hear a lot of what "White" people gotta say, but that's a lot of "White" people don't listen, and just get on the defensive.. You should go on You-Tube, and search up the blues/brown eyes experiment on Oprah.. The people with Blue eyes were mistreated, and felt that.. Whereas the people with Brown eyes were treated very fairly, and didn't even notice the mistreatment of the Blues.. And when the Blued eyed people spoke on it.. The Brown eyes didn't want to hear what they were goin through, and instead wanted to just shut them down because they were "complaining", and "Whining".. And that's the exact narrative she was trynna give to "White" people and how it is in society with minorities.. Everybody has free speech, and nobody is actually shutting you down.. You probably got more of a voice than I do.. Me as a "Black" male have a very small voice..

[rjroy3]

It's cool that the show goes deeper than the title suggests, but it's silly to suggest people are wrong for assuming the most common usage of the phrase "Dear" anything.

"To assume that it’s all about you just because someone is writing you or speaking to you is narcissistic."

Making the comparison of a cover letter "could" be the tone. Or it may be like a personal letter to the individual/group such as, "Dear John" which is the most common usage of the phrase "Dear" anything. So to say it's narcissistic merely for assuming the most common usage is just silly. Assuming it's all about you is another thing. Because there is a history of shows like this being made all about racism from white people. I'm mostly Black/Native American and even I looked at that title and immediately thought it was that kind of show. The show creators knew that as well. They wanted that reaction and hoped it would instigate people to watch and be surprised with what the show is really all about. Just a poor marketing decision on their part.

"‘What are you?’, the answer is usually, ‘A person about to slap the s—t out of you.’”"

To be fair this isn't a white people thing. This is a mental laziness thing. I've had just as many black and hispanic people use the exact same terminology, when asking me for my ethnicity. Do white people also use it? Well of course. But singling them out is kind of a racist assumption, because you're implying it's only an issue when they use it because of their race.

Outside of those 2 things. Good post : D. The show seems interesting, but not really my style.

[Kinstrome]

The reason people think the title is racist is because that arrangement of words *is* often used sarcastically, derisively, or, in progressive fashion, angrily. The last time I heard "Dear white people" it was followed by a threat to call white people "crackers" if they called Asian people "orientals" (which does not make much sense to me, since "oriential" is an obselete term, not a racial slur).

There were still plenty of good points here, though. And it was well-written, refraining from outbursts and complete partisanship.

I do not think a show or film is inherently an attack on white people simply because race is a major theme (see: Crash), but the undertone of a lot of racial articles, shows, films, and talking points is that white people are race relations' major antagonists. That's not to mention that, in the eyes of many people, racial equality doesn't seem to be about treating people equally, but about compensating for past transgressions. Trayvon Martin got a degree in aviation, simply because he was killed/murdered, for instance.

I think if there are more shows and films that deal with race objectively and sensibly, though, there will be better conversation about how to handle it. I thought Crash was a good example of this. It showed that black criminals are complicated people. It showed that white racists are complicated people. If the show is like that, it's a good thing.

[TiffyPuff]

Dear white people = all white people.
Dear white people =/= cover letter. And it isn't a term of affection.

Every time I hear someone use that phrase "Dear whoever" in today's media, it's usually some stupid "open letter" expressing narcissistic outrage directed at the open recipients.

So no, I haven't watched the show cuz I assume it's just one of those "open letters" in the form of a TV show.

Racism exists, it's awful. But I'm not racist, and I want to help people who need help. But I'm getting tired of being told how evil and complicit I'm supposed to be based on MY skin color. Racism isn't exclusive to white people.

And I'm also sick of people saying "because you're white/man/woman/christian/jew, you can't understand..."

That's garbage. I'm a human being with a full range of emotions. I laugh, cry, feel happy, sad, joyful, disappointed, betrayed, supported, just like anyone else from any other race or religion. Am I supposed to be some kind of monster incapable of empathy cuz I'm white?

I read your whole mytake and get where you're coming from, and I appreciate you tried to point out parts that are self-critical too. But don't be surprised given the exhaustion of walking on eggshells and avoiding being the face of the latest outrage trend if I didn't give the show a chance after seeing the title. If I have the choice of going out for ice cream with my boyfriend rather than watch a show that seems like it was designed to make me feel bad for stuff I don't have control over, I'm going to have ice cream with my boyfriend.

[RegularTK421]

I've never seen the show, so I can't really comment on it. Never the less, I do think white people are legitimate to question why this show is targeting us. No one wants to be targeted, and believe me if there was a show called dear black people that focused on the black community and the things that they do from a white perspective, black people would be upset over it. It's just human nature, no one wants to be in the cross hairs, especially when they work 40 plus hours a week and go about their lives daily like anyone else. As far as homosexuality and all that is concerned, some people don't agree with it for many reasons. That boils down to values, and people simply will not be sold that it is a "civil rights" issue. A black person asked me if I was native American the other day. Told him it was probably the part Italian, lol. Guess what? People are curious creatures. Something is either offensive, or it isn't. Asking what you're ethnic background is isn't exactly offensive. As far as the lightskin and internal issues the black community is facing, well that's just it., they are Internal issues. Not really seeing what white people have to do with how black people behave towards each other, or the attitudes that SOME of them hold.

[RegularTK421]

Also, if it's not about us, then why exactly are we featured in the title? Why wouldn't the title be something such as "Black experiences in the USA?" If it wasn't about us, it wouldn't be addressed specifically toward us.

[Elarra]

I answered this in the Take and clearly explained the title.

[RegularTK421]

@Elarra No you really didn't. Yes, it is addressed to white people, and you likened it to a cover letter for an employer. However, the employer is still the target of the cover letter, even though that cover letter may be talking about yourself and your job skills. A cover letter and a resume is basically a sales pitch about yourself when you apply for a job. By contrast, this is just a fictional series meant to push a certain viewpoint and perspective. It also sounds lame and not interesting. I'd rather go see Guardians of the Galaxy vol 2 lol.

[Elarra]

Yes, I actually did. Sorry you don't understand the comparison. But if you watch the show and read further down the Take, you'd see where I elaborated on how it was mostly on black culture and the divide within it. The show is talking about the black experience just like I talk about myself in a cover letter. It's really not hard to understand. The show is called 'Dear White People' because it does take a look at what some blacks wish white people would understand. But it also throws back at the black audience that 'Hey, you're shit sticks, too. Not all your problems are caused by white people.'

Question, did you watch the show?

[RegularTK421]

@Elarra No, I admit that I haven't.

[hmmmmidk]

I. dont. care. anymore. people like you are keeping this crap alive. MLK wanted it to die, malcom x before his death wanted it to die, and so did many others. Instead of addressing ''white people'' you should address people as human beings. It doesn't matter what stupid skin tone you are. I dont care if you are white or black, you are in NO position to tell people ''I want you to admit that there is a struggle'' almost EVERYONE on this planet has some type of struggle, and the REAL problem is when people like you do comparative suffering. I have read your comments responding to people here ''White people are singled out because they are viewed as the more closed minded race and you happen to not be associated with brown'' you make comments like these, then want ''white people'' to hear you out? but oh let me guess, you werent being racist when you said that? you are hilarious

[Elarra]

Notice how the quote you gave was my response to someone's question but not necessarily my personal opinion. And what I stated is true. Unfortunately, that's how white people are viewed in general. I never said it was true. Also, I can tell you didn't read the Take and just skipped to the comments because had you read the Take, you'd realize most of it was about the struggles black people have with other black people and themselves, not necessarily white people.

[GAGSUCKS333]

wow, you also remove accounts and comments when people call you out? just goes to show how you abuse your power to make up for your lack of explanations. I'll tell you again. I read your take, and only one portion of it was about the struggles of black people, while the other part is about trying to defend the title by saying its not racist when it is nothing but racist. If was not ''necessarily white people'' then why include them in the title and say ''its not all about you'' im not sure if you knew this, but thats called undermining peoples issues

[assley]

Dear white people: = all white people
Dear black people: = all black people

Dear white people: stop touching our hair
Dear black people: Wash your hair
(hypothetical, ignorance on the white peoples part for assuming)

Only one statement would be considered racist... but the other is "informative"

Assuming a characteristic to be shared by a whole race is ignorant. Racist title, end of story by all definition of racist. Good intentions, racist title. What African American family would be ok with being addressed as "blacks" or "black people"?

[JDavid25]

Actually neither of those mean that.. It's a general statement, not all of them.. LOL.. It's not assuming a characteristic being shared among all members.. LOL..

[MrSelfless]

I'm not white , I am not black , im in beteeen the two I love every race.

[Svengodofman]

I don't care about the racial component, I care that American culture is slowly turning into a contest as to who is most oppressed. You aren't oppressed, in the United States you are equal under the law. If someone is an asshole because of your race or any other part of you then tell them to piss off. Go your own way, and don't let others dictate how you feel. Unfortunately the world isn't all good, and never will be until we inevitably nuke ourselves off the face of the earth.

And that's all I have to say about that -- Forrest Gump

[KingRamesses]

Mama said stupid is as stupid does.

[Svengodofman]

@KingRamesses And man, people are doing a lot of stupid, don't you think

[KingRamesses]

Yes, typical human race. Lol.

[I-am-a-nobody]

Never watched it...
Interesting post though.

On the headline...
"Dear White People: It's Not [All] About You"

I'm sure there are exceptions but most "White People" don't think it's all about them (or at least no more than any other so called "race"). White people don't wake up and say, "It's great to be alive and white!" Whiteness really doesn't go through my consciousness until I read a post like this. I'm sure people of color are reminded daily, but please don't think of me as insensitive if I don't think of it one way or the other.

[Elarra]

The title was referring to show because when the show was announced, many white people began boycotting Netflix and calling the show racist without even seeing it assuming that the show would be all about white people. It wasn't talking about white people every day all day long.

[I-am-a-nobody]

@Elarra , I hope my post didn't seem nasty or anything. (apparently someone didn't like it)

I despise racism and wish people could just be colored blind. On the other hand, I hate the perceived expectation that I should "celebrate" different cultures. If you want to celebrate Kwanzaa, go for it, but don't expect me to elevate it to the level of Christmas. If "Cinco de Mayo" means something to you, fine, but don't expect me to celebrate it anymore than I'll celebrate Bastille Day. Oh, and don't close my public library over it either, this is still the United States of America (not Mexico). It's this implication of "you're a racist" if you don't bend over backwards to accommodate that really irritates me.

[fabulouspancakes]

Dear White People:
"Getting" to be a victim and complain about discrimination is not some special privilege you're being denied since you're white. It's not a fun club you're left out of. It's something you should be happy you generally don't face, and seek to listen to help those who do, rather than taking offense and screeching at every perceived slight in order to prove that you really are a persecuted majority.

-Sincerely, a White Person

(Before people's heads blow off, yes, I'm perfectly aware that white people can experience racism, and it's just as awful as any other form of racism. But no, it's not anywhere near on the same scale as the racism experienced by racial minorities, and I think you know that. Comparing the two is apples-to-oranges.)

[MissPanda]

This should have been titled dear americans, not dear white people. These issues are predominantly American, I just don't see these racial tensions or self hating black people where i live like I see in your country. The only thing I see here is being gay in the black community is taboo, I work with lots of black people and my bfs black and non of them admit to gay people back home. In their words there is non, like not one single gay person. Haha I told my boyfriend they're just not openly gay but he thinks it's a western culture thing.

[Octavius]

I saw it. I thought it was pretty good. Some episodes just dragged though.

In terms of controversy I'm not sure what the overrall goal of the creators was. If they wanted white people to see it and get a new perspective then I think they failed because while the video is supposed to be controversial it shouldn't be so much so that they never even end up watching the show when it was their goal to get them to watch.

If the show was for an audience that was already aware of the very issues that are talked about in the show then it did just fine. So I guess whether it was a success or not all depends on who the creators really wanted to see the show.