How would you feel if your partner went to visit their opposite sex family friend at night?

[Anonymous]

I’ve spent the past few days with my boyfriend since it was valentines day and he went home today. I went to sleep for a while and woke up to a message of him saying that he’s at his female friend’s house who he’s told me in the past that that’s a family friend. He also told me that she said hello to me. And he’s been texting me since I’ve woken up and he’s there talking about a show that he’s watching there and that he recommends me to watch too. He let me know that he left his house to go there around 9pm and he’s still there watching the show with the family friend’s sister as the family friend went to bed and it’s almost 4am. I really do not want to start an argument or come across insecure as well. Should I let it go, is this even an issue? Any advice is welcome!

[RavenBear0]

I mean the fact that he even told you he was going there in the first place is a good sign but if you're also uncomfortable about this especially with the time try talking to him about it in a calm and collected matter, if you guys haven't been together for very long (like less then a year or 2) then it's completely normal to have these kinda feelings especially if you have been hurt in the past by someone who's cheated, but definitely just try talking to him about it and let him know you're not exactly comfortable with the situation that late at night and explain to him why without making it sound like you're getting mad at him or lecturing him or whatever else and if he's an understanding partner he will let you talk to him about it without getting mad at you, but definitely just try getting your feelings across in a calm manner

[bobalife]

I think it's good he was communicating with you, but if you feel uncomfortable that he was there at night until 4am.. you have every right to how you feel and boundaries. Personally, I would not be okay with it. I know I don't do that one on one with any guy friends that super late no matter how close I am with them. If it is a group hang out, I understand it but it's a one one until 4 a. m... lol.

[RebelinSteel]

I really don’t have a problem as I tend to trust and accept others have friends. Another way to look at this, what about a gay or bi guy, are they not allowed same sex friends.

[JacobJordan]

If he told you about it you have nothing to worry about. It is when he says nothing you should be concerned

[IslaTheWitch]

If you don't trust him, why are you with him? Having friends, especially family friends, is kind of normal. Visiting them, especially if they have known each other for a very long time, is still normal, even at night, if it was that habit they created.

I can't see any problem with what he has done. But your insecurities can destroy this and any other relationship you will create.

[rosemilk]

i don't really see a problem unless you don't trust him

[Asker]

The thing is I feel like I do trust him otherwise I would’ve had an issue with him even having female friends. I have a few guy friends myself but I don’t see myself staying over their house for any reason, he just told me they’re watching tv and catching up

[rosemilk]

yeah you trust him having female friends, but it's another thing to trust him when he is actually hanging out with them at their house. i don't feel like the trust is 100% there and i think you guys need to communicate how you feel if this is bringing you down often. if this is a one time (once in awhile) thing, then yeah let it go

[Asker]

Yeah you’re right, it’s the first time this has happened, just wasn’t expecting it really but I definitely get what you’re saying. I do have trust issues from my past and I have discussed with him that I want to heal and actively work on getting rid of that. Thank you very much for your input!

[Nikki1989]

He can do whatever he likes. He has female friends, I have male friends, and we visit all of them.

[ThaMaskedMarvel]

If you stay with him, you will be kicking yourself in the butt later on. The red flags are all there. Him calling & texting you when he's there means nothing. The fact that you even made this post makes it clear that you know something's up. You can't be surprised if something happens. Heck, the only way you could be surprised is if something doesn't happen.

[DextroShade]

I wouldn't allow it unless he was her blood relative.

[Anonymous]

Seems ok to me, because he told you he was visiting her, and he didn't keep it from you.

[JayBones]

All my mistresses were my "family friend" or "cousin".

[Asker]

Maybe learn to be faithful instead of having dirty mistresses, I feel sorry for your so called partner 😂 I have family friends and cousins and would never even cross my mind, you must have a thing for incest yikes

[JayBones]

The quotation means they weren't my family friends or cousins I said they were. Reding compression is important.

[Asker]

Reading between the lines is also important smart ass. It’s quite obvious they weren’t your actual family members.

[Asker]

The same person that says ‘compression’ is important can’t even spell. It’s READING COMPREHENSION, did that help?

[Asker]

Or do you need your little ‘family friends’ and ‘cousins’ to figure that one out for you? LMAO

[JayBones]

Auto correct is a thing. I have huge fingers on my huge hands. That explai6 typos. Your inability to understand is noted and not my problem

[Asker]

Your inability to not be able to spell and make constant excuses is not MY problem

[SolitarySolace]

They wouldn't be my partner anymore

[laly520]

at night? how late?