ty-lady

Why do men always want what they can't have?

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ty-lady (Age:36 to 45)     When: Over a year ago
Category: Behavior

I have friends that are mostly men, we hang out playing pool, downing a few beers & joking around. At first, things go really good and it's comfortable being around them then all of a sudden things have changed and they start that flirting stuff. I don't dress sexy and never show any interest other than winning at whatever sport we are playing. I only want to hang out and have a good time. It's so many women out there that flirts with them and they just ignore her, giving me their sole attention. I don't want it, I have one love in my life and that's good enough for me but I am tired of losing friends because of lust. I don't really get along with women cause I am too rough around the edges and I don't take no s**t and don't do the drama thing so I guess I will just be friendless forever huh?


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Answers

    From Guys  
13
From Girls  
3
 

Best Answer

mrsvincenoir
1938  
Over a year ago
I have a lot of guy friends because I get on with guys better...and I know how frustrating it is when this happens.
I can only guess its a mixture of being a "challenge", getting to know you well,in a natural way without all the b.s and games dating can bring,and decideing they like you,and being close to you as a friend...there is no relationship polititcs and you are just chilled.
Its easy-going and natural...obviously must an attraction there to.
It brings up that old question can a man and a woman ever be just friends? Yes I think so,but you are bound to get exceptions.
It sucks doesn't it,especially when you think of them like a big brother or something...not cool.

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  • Question Asker
    Over a year ago
    You totally get it, thank you!

What Guys Said

  • canadiannick
    0  
    Over a year ago
    It's human nature to want what you can't have. There's something I heard a famous psychologist say..."you fall in love with someone who isn't in love with you, when you already have the love and support you need". The majority of people don't need real love. And the people I know who are really in love aren't in to the game of wanting what they can't have. If your the type of person who falls in love with those who don't love you...then you don't really need love, and should just be looking for sex. Done!

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  • pervect
    209  
    Over a year ago
    men are dumn even me, mostly
    thats true men wants what they can't have , why don't know
    but when men are close to are hot women they can tolk normaly
    but there is one time that they feel like they have to flirt, he are addicted
    how to avoid bby don't know wish to !

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    • Question Asker
      Over a year ago
      Lol, Thanx for your honesty!
  •  
    Anonymous User
    N/A  
    Anonymous User
    Over a year ago
    Why do women always want what they can't have?

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    • Answerer
      Over a year ago
      Sorry, here is the link:

      http://www.fullofhateandreadytodate.com/blog/understanding-women-part-6-she-fears-social-judgements/
    • Answerer
      Over a year ago
      I think it's because to women, the only important thing in life, and this goes back from instinct, is your social status. Everything women do takes social status into account. They fear social judgement. check out this link
    • Question Asker
      Over a year ago
      Ok, I'll take that...now answer your own question or at least answer mines.
  • Swampwater
    -1  
    Over a year ago
    well I've heard it said that you have a greater chance of staying with a person if you are friends first.
    people can't help if they think they are in love with you. you shouldnt be a bitch and make them feel bad about it, just let them know politely that you're not sttracted to them in that fashion.

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  • weyto
    102  
    Over a year ago
    its because your there...it seems like such a chore today for us guys to chase women, when your already there, your a friend we can trust, and your a woman, it just logically makes sense to us...depending on the type of guys you hang out with their motive may just be sex, or it could be genuine and they want a relationship...eithe rway that's what I think it sounds like

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  • JohnRJ
    385  
    Over a year ago
    If one only wants what they already then they will get anything more. LOL Just kidding.

    Actually, most guys I have known are into monogamous relationship, but sometimes the flirting game is fun. Having somebody else display an interest is a welcome change. I would not do this if I were involved however. If your involved with the other in question, then the other was likely out of bounds. I also wonder however if jealousy is not an issue here however.

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  • MrTinker
    706  
    Over a year ago
    I think you are forgetting human nature, females flirt and men flirt to attract one another, and to also test their charm both sides. Not to mention your talking about beer, people get silly, if your having a hard time with people flirting with you then be a woman, stand on your own two feet and get along with it. IF you can't understand human nature, ie male female = sex or male female being playful, funny, trying to give friends a kick. Well, you'll learn, we are all students, even the master :p

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    • Answerer
      Over a year ago
      If you don't mind, I would liek to be your internet friend as you seem like an interesting person to me :)
    • Question Asker
      Over a year ago
      MrTinker again, lol I think you would understand it more if it were you and every time you were around a girl, shie started to lyk you and it never stops, ever! What ever you did 2 alter your appearance & behavior just to have a little clean fun. Beer is not much on the scene but it still happens. Long time thought that I was causing it but reaching deep down, it's not me. I have accepted the fact that I will not be able to have friends of either sex. Thanks MrTinker!
  • Subotai
    2072  
    Over a year ago
    Well men flirt because its fun because their drunk because they think your attractive. Some people flirt with no intention of going anywhere its just fun. Its hard to expect people to not be human. I guess that's why most of womens friends are other women and mens friends are other men. The whole interacting with the opposite sex thing can be so awkward

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  • TexPlayboy
    5149  
    Over a year ago
    Men are hunters by nature, and always enjoy the challenge. Sleep with them all, and they will leave you alone. :-)

    Good Luck,
    James

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    • Answerer
      Over a year ago
      My answer was kind of tongue in cheek humor. I do not really expect you to do it, but it would work... boys are predictable. ;-) Good Luck.
    • Question Asker
      Over a year ago
      Your screen name explains your answer...lol Thanks!
  • nymphoman
    892  
    Over a year ago
    Nah, you just are finding the wrong friends that's all.
    If they just want to be around you to get into bed with you then they aren't friends just users.
    There are plenty of people out there who don't see every person of the opposite sex who is friendly as smile=sex, you just need to find them and filter through the sleazeballs.

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    • Question Asker
      Over a year ago
      Thanks for understanding!
  • jusabarasida
    -1  
    Over a year ago
    well.. if you have one true love, then why are you out drinking with other guys? the whole drinking with a buncha guys scene is so college .. so they flirt obviously.. how do you think they will take it? its not that hard to understand that.. to them it seems like you might have interest in them too and you are playing hard to get.. if the girl flirts with them all the time, they don't care for her. she is too easy.. but you seem like you are not.. and that's why guys want what they can't have.. they believe they can have you.

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    • Question Asker
      Over a year ago
      Thanx a lot for your comment, it opened my eyes! Love & Peace!
  • quantumdefender
    6799  
    Over a year ago
    sounds like shutting doors without even looking what's behind em.

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  •  
    Anonymous User
    N/A  
    Anonymous User
    Over a year ago
    i guess that's just what we rly are not guyz or girlz just all people they always want what they can't get..i guess you just need to find a friend that are like u, that's all..

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What Girls Said

  • Rosina
    435  
    Over a year ago
    Sometimes men just can't help it, they're not doing it on purpose and they often do not have any kind of plan/agenda. If you spend a lot time in male company, whether it be at work or socially, some of them will develop "crushes" on you, or get interested in you physically. I had a male friend once who revealed after a year that he was in love with me. He had never given me any indication, and he said he wished he didn't feel that way. It was just something he couldn't help. I'm in a relationship so he knew nothing would ever happen. I just had to try and be understanding and hoped it wouldn't affect our friendship. So yeah, sometimes it's a male ritualistic "hunter" thing, but sometimes they just can't help it.

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  • the-love-guru
    -1  
    Over a year ago
    Everyone is programmed to want what they cannot have. It creates a healthy competition. We crave the adrenaline rush of a chase.

    Alcohol is a social lubricant, and liquid courage. Chances are these men are sexually attracted to you, but fear that when sober they will be shot down, or perhaps just feel that since they've been drinking, they can use that excuse to hit on you. It's quite common. They feel at ease around you (when sober), and are able to let their guard down when intoxicated. It's natural. Casually let them know they should remove their hand from (body part) and continue the game. That, or tell them they're like a brother. That should stop them dead in their tracks!

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  • kalixxooxx
    0  
    Over a year ago
    I am the same way. I hang out with some females but my crowd is mostly male. Just be honest when meeting new people by telling them you are strictly platonic.

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