Why do girls always second choice a truly nice guy? And take a chance with the not so nice guy?

Question

As in would rather have the slightly jerky not the best match of a man and deal with the mess of having the boyfriend who is not exactly the most well matched for her. And then when things don't work out, she is to hurt to give the nice guy a chance. but by then the nice guy has already moved on.

2 things. 1. Its hard t find a real man out there as it is. and 2. Girls are becoming very ghetto like, no manners, no class, lack of education and no vision for their life. what do you think?

Phishouttawatta · Accepted Answer

I think girls do that because of the same reason that guys pick beezies over nice girls.  I am a nice girl that suffers from second choice syndrome so I am just as confused as you are.  But thinking about it, women are drawn to someone's status.  If you are an attractive guy, but make almost no money, you won't seem as attractive.  If you are nice, but are going nowhere, also not as attractive.  Women will trade off niceness or attractiveness for other characteristics in a pairing such as commitment and means of support, even if it means this person is a jerk.  As for your number 2 question, I believe girls are becoming like that because popular culture and guys make it seem okay to do that.  Generally, guys don't like being around girls that are smarter than them.  Men are challenged enough by other men, why be challenged by your partner.  And if you enjoy being challenged, I can almost guarantee you want to come out winning in the end.  Driven women are also not a pick for the general guy.  Men have evolved genetically to want to provide for/protect their household or "nest".  Check out how much of a guys strength is in his upper body.  Since humans are the only primates to have stood up, it made a woman go from carrying her baby on her back, to into her arms.  Because of this, she can't readily defend herself, which is where the man comes in (kind of like a pride of lions, the big male is there to defend them).  A woman who is driven, can make a life for herself without the guy, could probably be a big turn off for a guy.  So what do the women do?  We lower our standards. "oh it's okay if I don't go to college, cause this guy I like will feel like he actually has a purpose" (beyond obvious companionship).  As for manners and class, I believe that all came about because before the 60s, adolescents didn't have their own group; you went straight from kid to adult.  Manners were imperative to the culture of the day.  But once teens had their own social group and began defying their parents, the lack of manners followed them into adulthood. I just think since then, being classy, having manners, and not being selfish have all gone out the window.   So that's what I think anyway, I hope it helps a little bit.

1catydid · Accepted Answer

In the 1980's  a song came out from Paula Abdul and the name of it was "Opposites attract" This is a very true fact of life. Sometimes your heart thinks it wants something so you through out all common sense and go completely for the person. If "Mr. Nice-person" is so nice and right then he would be waiting for you. About your "2 things". #1 is very true. There is over 6 billion people on the planet you never know where, when,why, or how you met the right person. One rule I follow when dating and love is that love is not about finding someone you can live with (that sounds like your trying to find a roommate) its about someone you can't live without. About #2 I have seen many girls acting "more ghetto" that is because more and more guys are gangsters or gangster "wanna-bes". Girls then get the very unwise idea that they have to be able to "roll" with the gangsters to get a guy. Don't fall into the deceiving looks of their lives their life is a lot more complicated then you'd think. Drive-by shootings, knowing about something then feeling remorse or guilt, and sometimes keeping up the act. I know it may seem like they aren't thinking (some of them probably aren't) but they really they do think and consider everything you are thinking about too.

LG1632 · Accepted Answer

Most of the time we second choice a nice guy, because the nice guy is sweet and all, but he's usually not exciting. He doesn't take us on exciting dates and do crazy things with us. Combine nice, and daredevil, and you'll be irresistible. Other times, however, it's just the same as when guys go for the skanky girl, the jerk is just better looking, girls are shallow too.

I agree, a lot of girls gave lost their class. What can I say?

tolovewithoutyou · Accepted Answer

The not so nice guy is exciting,edgy and not secure.

In life you got to take chances.

Some girls use nice guys as a safety net, I don't do this but I think they feel if the not so nice guy doesn't work then I'll always have good old *insert name here*

MrNiceSometimesNot · Accepted Answer

GHETTO?! Whatcha mean?! I have to call you out on that! Little off subject, I know. Why is it that being "ghetto" is always classified as a negative. No manners, no class, lack of education. I along with my family was born in the slums of DC. I've got plenty of class, manners and such. So do many of my friends and family. Maybe not up to whatever your standards are but. just look into what the word Ghetto really means and none of your depiction will come up.

I'm not mad at you though playa. I just wanted to make you and others aware of what your portraying when you use statements like that. Be careful dude, it makes you sound uneducated, with no class or manners. We "ghetto" bred folks have been given a different set of cards to play with.that's all.

By the way. I have learned that "nice" guys are not interesting to women after a while. Be honest, would you like a woman to do what you want, when you want, all the time? If you are like I think you are, wouldn't you like a little challenge or a rough edge here and there with a woman? I DO know where you are coming from though. It took me a long time and plenty of fly women walking away to figure that one out. I think women like to have there way ALL the time but with a little challenge. Being a jerk isn't the answer, but I have learned that they like MEN and not "girlfriend" type of guys like "Nice" guys seem to come across as.

So what's a REAL man to you. It's not a wussy or robot. A real man knows that he is dominant, confident, self sufficient. His word is like gold dawg! I've made those mistakes also so your not alone. We as a gender gotta MAN up!

So why am I single, right?! LMAO

Ya smell what I'm cooking on both subjects?

aussie90 · Accepted Answer

It's fun to play games especially to chicks that play hard to get lol. It is just more fun to go after something that is a challenge than something you know you can get. And I guess its the same for girls if a "nice" guy is going for them they know they can get em any time they want because most are desperate and will still go after a chick even if they are treated bad, so if you do a little role reversal and treat the chick bad (not to an abusive stage) its weird but they like it because they can't just get it.

Chester_Cheeto · Answer

It's simple. Nice guys are too polite to girls. It's okay to be nice, but that's just a default emotion. Girls like boys for their personalities. Being nice is not a personality trait. For example, would you expect a girl to date you if you held the door open for her? No. Girls choose those with personality traits that grab their interest. You don't want a boring and soft girlfriend do you? I understand what you mean by girls being ghetto. I live in a neighborhood with so many of them and I wish I didn't. Ghetto girls like men who don't look scared of anything, or a dare-devilish type of man. I still never understand why lots of 10/10 girls like that much fire and intensity in their relationships. But just go after nice girls instead. They exist. Or go after the girls of your type. If you don't wanna do this, then work your brain to take risks. Ghetto girls, or almost every 10/10 looking girl like boys who aren't scared. If you don't wanna raise the steaks that high, then just act yourself and show your personality. A girl may end up approaching you instead if you learn not to put girls on a pedestal. I'm still in the process of doing this. Focus on not getting a girl and just enjoy your life. Best solution for me. Girl's started approaching me this year because of that. If not then they thought I just look attractive.

lola23 · Answer

nice guys are great! but everyone wants a little bad boy. nice boys can be annoying as well. but in the end.we'd rather marry a nice guy so just stick around.

China-Doll · Answer

Thats really easy! The same reason guys always choice the nice girl as their second choice! Answer: Because you know you can get her easily, we as the not so nice girl is more of a challenge!

Why do girls always second choice a truly nice guy? And take a chance with the not so nice guy?

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Why do girls always second choice a truly nice guy? And take a chance with the not so nice guy?

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