Why are women rude to nice guys?

Quite often being nice presents yourself as being weaker than them. that they are doing you a favor by talking to them.
Meanwhile a jerk comes up and gets all the attention because he charismatic, witty and takes control.
they see the challenge in taming him. the thrill of chasing him.

Nice guys like us get shoved to the back and often become the shoulder to cry on when a relationship doesn't work out. but your never seen as anymore than " That good guy friend"

you have so much to offer but no one wants to take the safe.

i know your pain brother

Uh - about that. I'm engaged to a fantastic man who is the epitome of the word "nice." The only "jerks" I have dated, I stopped dating when they became such, unless it was caused by stress or some temporary incident and went away with an apology upon discussion.

Additionally, some "nice" girls might take your rant, although well deserved through experience, as rude itself.

I don't know why but it does seem like women, as a generality, up to a certain age like being treated like sh*t, or don't want nice guys and instead just want to talk about them. But the fact is you're generalizing, as much as you said you didn't really want that point. Most of the women I personally associate with would dump a guy if they found them to be a jerk in a heart beat even if they didn't have a nice guy to fall back on and instead had to deal with the single life.

I do have some friends, that although nice, do ignore the "hellos" guys give them as you described. In fact, I too have done so on occasion. Some reasons being that they want someone to get to know them in a mutual setting instead of on the street, they live near places with prostitutes (like me) and are tired of getting cat called, or they are busy and normally when you say a hullo it leads to something else which they didn't have time for at the moment, or they did simply just not hear you because they were absorbed in their own thoughts or in a conversation with friends. Additionally many people grew up with the "don't talk to strangers" deal.

If someone I knew, even casually or just through facial recognition said hullo, I would respond in a heart beat. If someone walked up to me in a social setting and said hullo and I didn't know, I would respond. But responding to a hullo on the street, when those seem to be caused either because someone is physically attracted to you or wants you to sign something, makes many women I know reluctant.]

women are rude to nice guys because they just haven't woke up to reality. jerks will hurt them and then after that they will realize what they're missing. I love nice guys!

because some guys are total jerks and assholes and us women don't need to put up with tht shit.

Maybe you should change your approach, the one you have does not seem to be working. Also try meeting people in maybe adult classes where you are not just approaching some stranger who may be in the middle of something or having a bad day or whatever, some people are wary of strangers remember. But if you got to know someone on a social level you will have better luck.

the women you're dealing with are the ones with the problems.not you! I also don't know many women who would act that way, because that's simply rude. And as for you lowering your standards, I think you should stick to what you look for in a woman, whether that makes your standards high or low to society, because like the saying goes " aim for the moon, because if you miss at least you'll land among the stars" or something like that haha. But the point is, if you're looking for a smart, beautiful, polite, friendly and loving woman.thats exactly what you deserve to get. And as for the rude, snobby and obnoxious women out there, don't let them get to you, its there loss! They'll be the ones that are stuck with jerks, when they could've had a nice gentleman.

I also believe that woman subconsciously like jerks, not because they're jerks, but because they have a way of making you want them. Usually when somebody pushes you away, you come back.but when somebody welcomes you with open arms, you pull back. Its human nature. I think that a lot of men notice this and so they purposely become jerks, to see if women would then want them.and sure enough a lot do. But please don't lose hope in being a nice guy, in the end the good guy always wins

I think confidence is one of the most underrated things, because I think we're very aware, maybe at least subconsciously, of how confident someone is. It's an important factor in a first impression especially.
Firstly, I honestly don't know many women that would act that way towards someone who just said hello. I would never be rude to a stranger unless they were rude to me first. Whether I'm interested or not, it's common courtesy.
But, and this is really just based on what you said & my experience, I think the fact that you care so much about their responses says a lot. If someone ignores you or brushes you off, I think you should be able to do the same to them because they're obviously not worth your time. That confidence should show when you're greeting a stranger. It's more impressive if it seems like you don't care much either way if they answer or ignore you.
I guess I don't really know how to explain it. definitely don't be like an a-hole, but be confident. You know your standards and you know you don't deserve to be snubbed. You're better than that, just let your attitude reflect that :]

i know I am young to be answering this question but from my perspective many girls either think the are to good for certain men (even though you can never be "too good" for a person) or they are just bitches. If I saw a guy walking toward me and he said hey I would try to start up a conversation no matter what he looked like, some girls don't realize that sex isn't the only thing guys are into.
i think that you sound like a really nice guy and you will find love one day I promise you. all you have to do is look in the right place at the right time.
my theory is that everybody has a soul mate out there somewhere so you have to keep trying to find him/her or else somebody else will.
so don't give up.
as for the lowering your standards I don't think you should do that you like what you like and nobody should be able to tell you otherwise

Wow, I'm sorry you have had such bad luck with women. If you are a gentleman like you claim, then if you broaden your horizons and look outside of where you live, you may luck up and find a nice woman.

Some women are rude to nice guys because they want jerks or men who have no intentions of showing them respect. That is a direct reflection of who they are as women.

I say keep hope alive, travel and get out of the Mass. box. We are out there, come get us!

Women get this too. Trust me, every really nice friend of mine has trouble with guys, even the good looking one. And it seems like my friends that are kind of bitches, even the not so attractive ones, get men left and right.

I've always kind of been lucky in the man department because I kind of understand men. My whole life my best friends have been men and I've always kind of been "one of the guys" so I've gotten a lot of the inside scoops. So to me reading men has become easier in general than it is to most women.

Anyways, bottom line I think a lot of it comes down to self-confidence and self-assurance. In my experience the really nice people don't think as highly of them selves, that's part of the reason they are so nice, they feel they have to be nice so they are more appealing. But often others can read that lack of self-confidence on your face and in your voice.

You should never lower your standards just to have a girlfriend or wife. But what you should do is work on your self-image. Work harder on assuring yourself that you are worthy of the type of woman you want. Because if inside you don't believe you are, she won't either. Good Luck with this whole thing. I wish you best.

Yeah, sounds kinda sucky.

I have three brothers and they had all the same complaints about women's attitudes. But it was our fathers that warned us against you and our brothers' friends that we overheard talk skanky about us, and our ex-boyfriends that gave us a "raw deal". So, a lot of it is based on how we were exposed to men. Don't hate us.

Keep up the good attitude around the women that you are attracted to. When a woman brushes you off, just think how lucky you are not having to deal with an attitude like her's day-in, day-out.

And this should have nothing to do with being picky. You are absolutely right, we should all be picky about who we choose to become close to. Your woman should be equivalent to your best guy bud that you can talk to and get along with and want to spend your free time with. But also to share moments with that you can't complete with the guys.

I have never acted that way towards a guy who has greeted me or smiled in my direction and I know a lot of other girls that feel the same way. But if a guy whistles and grabs himself in front of me, sure I would ignore him or give him a dirty look. So, maybe you are sending out some weird vibes or something, that you are totally unaware of.

Maybe you are just attracted to stuck up women. Maybe there is a vibe that they give off that you're subconsciously attracted to. I say this because I don't know ANY woman who would act like that. If a guy said "Hello" to me, I would never respond like that, even if I wasn't interested. Most of the time women say hello, it's not like you asked her what her bra size is.

This is a good example of the "nice guy" problem. Being the nice guy gets you no where because you have to compete with two other characters - the good guy and the bad guy. More often than not, men make the mistake of thinking the good guy and the nice guy are synonomous. They aren't.

The bad guy you know already. He has his ways, and he likes to challenge women. He's confident, and leads with that confidence.

The good guy, on the other hand, is the guy that most nice guys are trying so hard to be. The good guy has a lot of traits that the bad guy would have - confidence, an identity of self, personal interests, a greater pursuit for himself. Women are attracted to the aforementioned qualities because it presents a dynamic that is interesting, and a person you can grow with, learn from, and enjoy.

The nice guy thinks he is the good guy, but he isn't. He is too friendly, too agreeable, and seemingly desperate in the eyes of others. I mean this with no offense, but your post shows many examples of this agreeable desperation. You mentioned your approach in saying hi to random people. You mentioned that you "lowered" your standards. Doing this is a disservice to yourself.

Believe it or not, saying hi to a random woman is really intimidating and threatening. They don't know you, and right off the bat you are starting with "hi" (which is super direct and too short) while offering no information or insight into who you are. Now, I am not saying walk up to a woman and immediately tell her your life story and hope she stays around to listen. On the contrary, I am saying that you need to approach women in a way that is friendly but immediately disqualifying yourself as some threat. Show them WHY you are a good guy, where the confidence comes from, and how you are a fun person to be with. Openers are hard, and honestly take practice. Rejection happens far more often than success. Accept this and you are winning a greater portion of the battle.

Please check out this video created by a woman who works on the pick up artist scene: link

It will explain in greater detail why nice guys ALWAYS finish last.

dude, I been there- ur not seein thangs clearly- them gals who were mean to you are the ones with the problem, not you. Why lower ur standards? Try a diff venue to meet women.. Take an adult education class, doin sumthin ya like- you can meet women there. Anything other than watya been doing... This is just sumthin you are gonna havta conquer, QD... Don't let these bad experiences ruin watya got inside.