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quantumdefender

Why are women rude to nice guys?

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quantumdefender (Age:36 to 45)     When: 2 months ago
Views: 139     Category: Behavior
I was once a nice sweet guy, great sense of humor, a tad weird, and a self proclaimed romantic, I am 38 now, never had a true relationship, I lived in Massachusetts all my life. And over the years in my search for the love of my life, I have found that from the time of birth. Women have been told that men are pigs, scum, and jerks.ect. On the other hand…women are supposed to be the sweetest things, sensitive and caring, affectionate creatures.
I tried many tactics to entice a woman’s attention, from personal ads, dating services, bars, dance clubs, book stores, supermarkets, you name it, I been there. Even the train, on the street. One thing has never changed, the wealth on SNOBBY women!
No matter where I been, the plan was simple…SMILE! And say “hello.” In almost EVERY ENCOUNTER the result was…she ether (1) she completely ignored me, turned her head in the opposite direction than me, (2) she makes a sigh or a grunt in response, (3) or she gives a look that could most likely mean “how dare I say “hello” to her!
I was at a news stand and I noticed a cute lady reading a woman’s magazine…I noticed the article she was reading was entitled: “how to attract today’s man” so I worked up my courage and said “hi there.” She looked and me with blank eyes and went back to her magazine!
How about this one, I had to one day put change in parking meter 3 cute ladies walked towards me.did I say a form of greeting…you bet “hello” I said…one gal grunted. And all 3 kept walking. And I’ll bet you money they were out for drinks later and someone had to have complained, “I just can’t seem to find any nice men!” ahh if only she had said “hi!”
Now for some reason…some women are still complaining there is no equality among the sexes! This much is true…men are getting railroaded, ripped off in the dating game big time!
Of course you may argue, “Not all women are like this…you’re stereotyping all women on the acts of a hand full” ok, I grant you that one I only been single all my life and been looking for love for ever 12 years.
Your right…some women are not that rude. Some women know that playing hard to get is a big mistake because they would be alone forever if they were that rude…they may know deep down they have to offer what they can. I been told I should LOWER my standards and look into dating these women, and so I did!
Now mind you, as I lowered my standards, my goal became simple, find a woman I can ENJOY being with! Not too hard right?
I just start laughing when women I don’t like start trying to give me guilt trip "maybe you should lower your standards" or " you shouldn't be so picky." As if I had NO RIGHT to be happy!

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Anonymous User
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Anonymous User (Age:30 to 35)      When: 2 months ago
Maybe you should change your approach, the one you have does not seem to be working. Also try meeting people in maybe adult classes where you are not just approaching some stranger who may be in the middle of something or having a bad day or whatever, some people are wary of strangers remember. But if you got to know someone on a social level you will have better luck.
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boonana135
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boonana135 (Age:Under 18)      When: 2 months ago
the women you're dealing with are the ones with the problems.not you! I also don't know many women who would act that way, because that's simply rude. And as for you lowering your standards, I think you should stick to what you look for in a woman, whether that makes your standards high or low to society, because like the saying goes " aim for the moon, because if you miss at least you'll land among the stars" or something like that haha. But the point is, if you're looking for a smart, beautiful, polite, friendly and loving woman.thats exactly what you deserve to get. And as for the rude, snobby and obnoxious women out there, don't let them get to you, its there loss! They'll be the ones that are stuck with jerks, when they could've had a nice gentleman.

I also believe that woman subconsciously like jerks, not because they're jerks, but because they have a way of making you want them. Usually when somebody pushes you away, you come back.but when somebody welcomes you with open arms, you pull back. Its human nature. I think that a lot of men notice this and so they purposely become jerks, to see if women would then want them.and sure enough a lot do. But please don't lose hope in being a nice guy, in the end the good guy always wins
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aly-marie
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aly-marie (Age:Under 18)      When: 2 months ago
I think confidence is one of the most underrated things, because I think we're very aware, maybe at least subconsciously, of how confident someone is. It's an important factor in a first impression especially.
Firstly, I honestly don't know many women that would act that way towards someone who just said hello. I would never be rude to a stranger unless they were rude to me first. Whether I'm interested or not, it's common courtesy.
But, and this is really just based on what you said & my experience, I think the fact that you care so much about their responses says a lot. If someone ignores you or brushes you off, I think you should be able to do the same to them because they're obviously not worth your time. That confidence should show when you're greeting a stranger. It's more impressive if it seems like you don't care much either way if they answer or ignore you.
I guess I don't really know how to explain it. definitely don't be like an a-hole, but be confident. You know your standards and you know you don't deserve to be snubbed. You're better than that, just let your attitude reflect that :]
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brazilian707
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brazilian707 (Age:Under 18)      When: 2 months ago
i know I am young to be answering this question but from my perspective many girls either think the are to good for certain men (even though you can never be "too good" for a person) or they are just bitches. If I saw a guy walking toward me and he said hey I would try to start up a conversation no matter what he looked like, some girls don't realize that sex isn't the only thing guys are into.
i think that you sound like a really nice guy and you will find love one day I promise you. all you have to do is look in the right place at the right time.
my theory is that everybody has a soul mate out there somewhere so you have to keep trying to find him/her or else somebody else will.
so don't give up.
as for the lowering your standards I don't think you should do that you like what you like and nobody should be able to tell you otherwise
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Miss-October
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Miss-October (Age:25 to 29)      When: 2 months ago
Wow, I'm sorry you have had such bad luck with women. If you are a gentleman like you claim, then if you broaden your horizons and look outside of where you live, you may luck up and find a nice woman.

Some women are rude to nice guys because they want jerks or men who have no intentions of showing them respect. That is a direct reflection of who they are as women.

I say keep hope alive, travel and get out of the Mass. box. We are out there, come get us!
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HaggardDiva
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HaggardDiva (Age:25 to 29)      When: 2 months ago
Women get this too. Trust me, every really nice friend of mine has trouble with guys, even the good looking one. And it seems like my friends that are kind of bitches, even the not so attractive ones, get men left and right.

I've always kind of been lucky in the man department because I kind of understand men. My whole life my best friends have been men and I've always kind of been "one of the guys" so I've gotten a lot of the inside scoops. So to me reading men has become easier in general than it is to most women.

Anyways, bottom line I think a lot of it comes down to self-confidence and self-assurance. In my experience the really nice people don't think as highly of them selves, that's part of the reason they are so nice, they feel they have to be nice so they are more appealing. But often others can read that lack of self-confidence on your face and in your voice.

You should never lower your standards just to have a girlfriend or wife. But what you should do is work on your self-image. Work harder on assuring yourself that you are worthy of the type of woman you want. Because if inside you don't believe you are, she won't either. Good Luck with this whole thing. I wish you best.
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ladykay
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ladykay (Age:25 to 29)      When: 2 months ago
Yeah, sounds kinda sucky.

I have three brothers and they had all the same complaints about women's attitudes. But it was our fathers that warned us against you and our brothers' friends that we overheard talk skanky about us, and our ex-boyfriends that gave us a "raw deal". So, a lot of it is based on how we were exposed to men. Don't hate us.

Keep up the good attitude around the women that you are attracted to. When a woman brushes you off, just think how lucky you are not having to deal with an attitude like her's day-in, day-out.

And this should have nothing to do with being picky. You are absolutely right, we should all be picky about who we choose to become close to. Your woman should be equivalent to your best guy bud that you can talk to and get along with and want to spend your free time with. But also to share moments with that you can't complete with the guys.

I have never acted that way towards a guy who has greeted me or smiled in my direction and I know a lot of other girls that feel the same way. But if a guy whistles and grabs himself in front of me, sure I would ignore him or give him a dirty look. So, maybe you are sending out some weird vibes or something, that you are totally unaware of.

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ALWAYSclassy
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ALWAYSclassy (Age:18 to 24)      When: 2 months ago
Maybe you are just attracted to stuck up women. Maybe there is a vibe that they give off that you're subconsciously attracted to. I say this because I don't know ANY woman who would act like that. If a guy said "Hello" to me, I would never respond like that, even if I wasn't interested. Most of the time women say hello, it's not like you asked her what her bra size is.
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HaggardDiva I totally agree. I would never act like that towards a guy that was giving me a simple hello. Whether I was interested or not I would give a slight smile and a hello in return. - 2 months ago
 

What Guys Said

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aussieknight
506  
aussieknight (Age:25 to 29)      When: 2 months ago
Quite often being nice presents yourself as being weaker than them. that they are doing you a favor by talking to them.
Meanwhile a jerk comes up and gets all the attention because he charismatic, witty and takes control.
they see the challenge in taming him. the thrill of chasing him.

Nice guys like us get shoved to the back and often become the shoulder to cry on when a relationship doesn't work out. but your never seen as anymore than " That good guy friend"

you have so much to offer but no one wants to take the safe.

i know your pain brother
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ALWAYSclassy You don't have to be either or. You can be respectful without being a pushover. If you get pushed to the back constantly it's probably because you let that happen. Jerks get noticed because they display confidence. A nice guy can display confidence and be upfront just like any other guy can. - 2 months ago
 
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