Girls: Why the "bad guys?" Seriously...

First off, girls aren't attracted to guys that are whiney and victim-y, in other words everything in your post. They aren't attracted to people who blame others for their problems or inability to get women. So I would advise your first step to be to lose the chip on your shoulder and understand what's really going on here. Secondly, women aren't attracted to bad people. If anything, they would prefer a good guy. What you are clearly missing here is the qualities that edgy people tend to have which is what attracts women. "Nice" and "Shy" are pleasant words people use to describe what is actually "fear". Women aren't attracted to fearful people, especially those afraid of them. What a "bad" boy probably has that attracts women that a "nice" guy doesn't is that he isn't afraid of her. He will go right up to her, approach her with confidence and assertiveness, and define what he wants. He won't make himself look like a friend and then complain when she sees him as one. You define how you want yourself to be perceived. If all you get is the friendship card, than that's how you are trying to sell yourself and it isn't working. Be confident, be assertive, look her in the eye, maintain open body language, have mutual conversation, don't procrastinate in asking her out or defining your wants and the future of the situation, stand up for yourself, and stand up for the girl. THAT'S what nice guys or shy guys never do. They never make a move and then complain when the ship sails. What does anyone expect is going to happen when they hang around in the background?!

I agree with malindaisme and thegiver13

I do not want a bad guy, I am completely turned off by the bad guys. I want no part in a guy who does drugs, steals,treats me like garbage.. etc.

Is it possible you are trying to get with the wrong type of girls? Its not that we want bad guys, we actually just want a guy that will speak his mind, not be a pushover or smother us We need a guy that won't take our bs, drool all over us or follow us like a puppy, we need a challenge. But that in no way means a druggy/loser/criminal/ahole.

aww firstly don't feel that way because it can lower your self-esteem. If you're happy then others are happy. I would say try t o keep yourself happy. Be confident, believe me that helps a lot. Try to focus on yourself, your goals, your career. One day an angel will walk into your life and be that baby girl of your dreams. Best of Luck!

Its about the confidence. even if its arrogance its so alluring. and when you see everyone else after him, you're like "Oh he's so hot" too. I'm getting to the stage where I want the nice guy and I want to be the bitch. I've been the nice girl and it sucks I'm going to call the shots and say what I want from now on lol! I've learned that the charming charismatic guys are the worst because to charm someone is a skill, its not who the person actually is. they butter you up so you like them but then you find out what theyre really like! I would say bad guys do well in their 20s and perhaps beyond but I think theyre always doomed. they'll never settle down or even if they do theyll be cheating on the wife. they want their cake and eat it too so theyll never be satisfied or content wit anyone. I would say be nice but firm-bit of both. the confidence is great-make sure ur confident. and the self-respect too-bad guys have such a high opinion of themselves but high self-esteem is good as long as its not over inflated. if you want more girls in ur 20s then id say play the field but make a conscious decision to settle down in ur late 20s/30s so that you don't become a total asshole for ur entire life. its sad when you see these old guys still playing the field like jack nicholson. you don't want to be like that!

Girls want a bad guy, at least I would, because I assume he'd not be afraid to make the first move. He wants a kiss, he'll go in for a kiss, instead of turning around and dating/kissing a girl they don't like as much/are less nervous around. (I have seen this done many times by my 'nice guy' friends.)

If a nice guy will make the first move, I'm all for him.

It's simple really, girls like bad boys and women like nice men. When you're young your dumb, the older you get the more you get 'it'. Be who you are and remember everyone looks good in confidence.

i can tell you right now, I'm considered one of the 'good girls' and I actually am desperately looking for a good nice guy... I can't seem to find one.

it seems all the nice guys go for all the bitchy girls.

it just feels like lose/lose situation.

I do not know, but personally, I prefer to date the "good boy." Plus, bad boys, usually just talk about how they are such bad asses, but they are little wimps or just want attention. The good boys are usually the tough ones. I never figured out myself why girls do that. My one friend did it to get in trouble and to not be considered "a good girl." Which is not logical and retarded because you do not need a boy to get into trouble. It was a complete lame reason. Many girls want to experience the movie perspective of dating a bad boy. Do not worry about it because the right girl will come around and be lucky to have you, her friends will get jealous, when they are broken hearted from the "bad boy" boyfriends that just dumped them for another girl. Your girl will feel so unbelievably lucky.

Sane grown up women want a man with intensity and passion who is assertive about what he wants. Not necessarily a "bad boy". Plus a little mischief is fun : ) unfortunately some disturbed chicks take it too far because of their own personal issues and end up fostering crazy abusive relationships with douchebags.

sometimesu just wanna have fun. . .
n good boys don't do that
n normally bad boys are deckedout and hottt

Ever heard of captain save hoe. Well most girls think they can tame the wild beast. Most women want to change a bad boy. Women who are in abusive relationship are just stuck. They are scared to be with someone else they think that no one else would love them. Now most women like this the relationship didn't start abusive. Druggys well women think that they will give up the drugs if they love us or women just get into the drugs with them. Don't worry some one will like you and you'll have a great relationship. JUst like there are bad guys there are bad girls "damaged" girls.

you are just as confused as I am. but I am a good girl with the bad guy and a bad girl with the good guy and I don't get why. I have broken up with guys that when I come to reality are evrything I want, but end it for some complete losers azz hole...sometimes I think we females are just out to hurt our ownselves.. but sometimes the bad boys just do the sweetest things and its super extra sweet because you don't expect it...and when a good guy doesn it its like ya so typical so like you! and we females like men that stand out by doing the not so typical... its hard to emplain...

What girls at this age want is a wild guy someone who we can experiment with. We like the nice guys adn we watn to keep them for until we're ready to settle down. The girls want to have fun and enjoy ourselfs and get heart-broken by guys we know in a way we won't last with because we eventually expect too much of them and then that's the end of it. Like guys have sex with the most slutiest girls they can because they know it won't last the maximum it'll be will be 1 week. My advice to you is don't change and enjoy some other girls while you can until your ready to setlle down with HER.

It's kind of the way guys see girls as slutty vs. girlfriend material. A girl wants to have fun with a bad boy the same way a guy wants to have fun with a promiscuous girl. But in the end, when we settle down we want what's good and real.

idk all ds bitches want dem kinda niggaz all I know iz that ma nigga iz hella bad and smokes weed bt point black durs more den what you c jusss cus you dnt c every side they might bkuz people say I'm stupd 4 going out wit hym and he juss going break ma heart bt we bein going out 4 3yrs so all bad guyz aren't all bad

Girls like bad boys for the same reason guys like the hot babe with big boobs who may also not be suitable for him. It is thrilling and exciting, but in the end most of us marry a different kind of person. For those of us who marry the bad boy, we usually end up living with his bad habits that were a thrill when we were single, but get old and less thrilling with age. However the challeng of taming him, stays with us as long as we stay with him. The thrill is the same as the babe on your arm, who may not be the best choice for you, but you cannot give up the fantasy.

Well, bad boys have this certain edge to them. Girls like a thrill, and that's what bad boys give. It's just like how my guy friend asked me why girls fall for those hot, jerks who don't even care about them. It's simple, because girls believe that they're the one who changes them.

Maybe in this case too, girls believe that this guy, this rugged, dangerous guy, has this soft side to them. Has something for the girl to find, and bring out in a guy. Girls don't see them as 'drugged up losers', maybe some, but often love is blind.

All girls need a good guy, and all girls know this. It's after the wrong one, quite possibly a bad boy or a jerk, they realise how much need need one. Sure there are those girls who do end up changing the bad guys, but that's just them.

Maybe what you're doing wrong is that you're not letting loose. You sound too worried, let loose and see what happens. Have some fun, and stop worrying about everything. Everything will fall into place if you just stop looking so hard.

They don't actually want a bad boy. They want a combo... a guy that can give them playful attention by teasing them, but still knows how to be respectful about it. Simple as that. They want a balance. The problem is that not many guys know this, and they try to be one or the other, when they should try to have a sweet & sour combo. : )

Depends on the girl, I perfer a gentlemen, I know some of my friend like bad boys because you never know what's going to happen with them it exictes them, and don't look for love it just makes it seem longer, let love find you

ligten up dude. maybe that's thats the reason that nobody likes you, because you're always hating on some one. my friend is in a relationship with this guy who is nice in his own way, and she is kinda wild. this guy knew this before dating her and now he trys to control her by not letting her do the things she used to do. which not only p*sses her of but p*sses all her friends of as well. that's the prob with a nice guy, he would want you to change because he is into doing other things that don't constitute as our kind of fun. and besides bad boys are like a challenge, girls want to be the one that can get him to be wrapped around their little finger. so relax yourself, coz' with that attitude you're gonna be single for a long time.

whose the girl? hey, don't beat yourself up. girls want a guy to take charge and to follow too. we just want some balance.mysetery is a huge deal.even if you don't have a secret or mystery about you girls will want you if they think you do. I think what a girl wants most is someone to be there and someone to listen to the important stuff.if you can add in some laughs that won't hurt anything either. there's nothing special about a "bad boy". they just know what a girl wants and know how to get what they want from that. girls want them bcuz they think that the guy cares and while they're w the guy the "bad boy" fills their needs and desires. but it's only skin deep.keep being a great guy and you'll find a great girl. don't pretend to be something that you're not.

As a women, this subject p*sses me off big time because my man was used for emotional support by women who wanted to keep him around but would always give him the "friends" line.

These dumb girls would always go for BAD men who hurt them, then came whining to my baby. And my baby (being the sweet wonderful man he is) would be there for him despite their rejection of him! He was getting hurt too much, and I'm lucky he didn't give up or I'd be alone right now. It's just not fair.

I get so mad about this because these needy chicks are turning all the nice guys into bitter woman-haters!

In my dating life I met SO MANY guys who USED to be nice but became jerks because they got hurt or because they thought that's what women wanted. And you know what? It's not fair to a girl like me who APPRECIATES THE NICE GUY!

TO THE ASKER: PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE DON'T CHANGE. There ARE girls out there who appreciate the nice guy; we're just few and far between. Nice guys are a rare treasure, and the "friends" treatment is killing them off and an alarming rate! You're an endangered species!

My man is 32 years old, and had to live those years being the "friend" before finding someone who was smart enough to see him as more! Don't give up, or you're going to leave you're true soul mate out there all alone in the world. For her sake, don't give up! She's out there!

I'm guilty of that to a point. I agree with seregiel that it's the urge to improve someone. It also doesn't help when friends are also saying that you're good for the guy and you're going to help him follow a straight path that he should follow on his own. I really don't know any other reason beyond that. But there are also VERY few "bad" boys that become exceptions to the assumption that they treat their girlfriends like crap. But those guys did have to mature.

Some girls have the complex where they want to fix the bad boy. Often times the bad boy/jerk is nice to her and not to other people because he likes her and wants to try and show he isn't worthless. Some people like the forwardness or confidence.

Myself? I've always gone with the nice guy, and am now engaged to one. Sometimes they were a different flavor of nice (because nice isn't always safe: i.e. soldiers, civil disobediants, etc). However - they were always decent people who treated others with respect.

First of all, I am the female version of you. I do not like to be wild, and do stupid immature things or anything. With that said, there are many reasons for this. One I believe to be true in almost every case is that the girl doesn't think she deserves a good man. Maybe she had certain events happen in her life that made her feel unworthy of a good thing. Also, woman are built to be affectionate and to take care of people. They are actually attracted to men that are dysfunctional, out of control, however you want to put it, because they want to change them, or help them. It could simply be that woman, or anyone really, would like to find someone that is just as messed up, and dysfunctional as they are. So, maybe its a good thing that most woman aren't interested in you. It could mean that you aren't destructive, but they are, so you make them feel intimidated. You never want to settle for less just because you aren't that loser they're looking for. "She" will come one day. You are so young and most people at your age are so stupid and are just looking for that next thrill.

I hope I helped you a little bit.

Because girls don't want some whiney little safe babynice bitch/..imean you canbe nice, but be a little dangerous or be a little bit of a d*ck. I mean, id rasther have aguy who kicks someones ass for calling me names then a boy who is scared and hides behind the man. Heterosexual girls want MEN! masculine men! nthey don't want to date girls!and by the way not all "bad a**" guys are drugged up losers(and not every who is drugged up is a loser kid, they are just going through some stuff.). one little thing about a guy can make him a bad boy. also, stupid girls like o get treated like crap, like to get their hearts broken. what we can have we want much,much more. just like loser boys always going after the "out of their league, cool girl." But hey, there are plenty of girls who do want a nice guy. most just don't now it yet. and by thwey way, I have an awesome drug /alcohol/noin cheater fiance..but he is Def a badboy. He has awesome subarustiwrx, is hot and manly, knows how to fix everything, and he has this edge. Something about the way he talks to people, looks. Like a don't f***with me or my family essense thatd makes him so bad boy hot. and he would do anything for me...does do everything for me. I'm his princess. so not all bad boys are scum. but..maybe its because he used to be really bad...lol

Actually, I'm one of those people that get turn off by the bad boys. I think that it just pathetic when someone try to be cool by smoking or drinking. I don't believe in SMART people, or nerds whatever you call it are ugly. I meant of course I don't like boys that's super duper ugly but I WILL NEVER EVER go out with some low life losers.

Deep in our hearts... we want the good guys... but the bad guys... damn... they're f***ing hot, and got everything. The nerds... they're just there...
We do like and want the nerds... but we're just being stupid... we know these type of guys suck. :D

well the truth is, bad boys are sexy theyre good for sexual release. especially younger girls, we like them older and bad because we know they have expirience, we know they know what theyre doing and that because theyve had so many girls they are probably very good at what they do. so that's why we pick them, essentially we are thinking with our "dicks" just like guys who pick the hot, dumb girl over the cute smart one. theyre horney. sorry man but that's what girls are looking for, anyway the good ones who end up with the bad boys. not all girls are like that thought, chances are you jsut keep falling for the ones that are no good for you anyway, "secret bad girls". but hey there are nice ones out there who want a nice boy too, so just keep looking and don't give up hope! :D

Awe that's really sad but true in most cases, I'm your stereotypical seventeen year old popular senior and guess what.. I love nice usually GEEKY boys! All my friends go for assholes and manwhores but I love nice guys! Now here's the catch, I've been in love with a drama geek from one of my classes for 8 months, he's never had a girlfriend or even a crush school is so important to him along with family religion and sports, you couldn't ask for a sweeter, nicer individual, but get this.. He turned me down ( technically not exactly but he doesn't give me the time of day even when I try to be his friend) he's not a jerk but he's awkward and intimidateded by me! My friends make fun of me and ask why I love him so much but they don't get it! Some girls are too immature to understand what it's like to base one on personality and not looks or status! But there is a girl like me out there for you! You need to take what comes your way if a girl likes you, you should make an effort to get to know her regairdless of looks , she may just be your soulmate! Bottomline I'm pretty and popular but the one thing that's really important to me I can't have, it's ironic because I'd trade it all for him! I'm head over heels in love with the good guy and he couldn't care less, the grass isn't always greener on the other side babe!

cause bad boys are sexy, so sexy
i dnk its just our nature to feel attracted to bad dudes

cuz bad boys do me good in bed that's all...theres nothing about them that is appealing but that..this girls who fall for this guys are the same type..so if you don't think you are the same type of guy don't stay with this peole for god sake..

Women go through certain phases. Eventually, with 'evolved' maturity, they grow out of it. We could make the same argument for some men who have not evolved, dating the models, strippers, superficial cheerleaders, and so on. Be patient, every place has its time, and everything happens for a reason!

Are you pursuing nice girls or superficial girls? This can also play a role in your selection of women. If you're pursuing superficial girls, maybe you have not evolved as well as the women you're pursuing!

Well...urm...I just love the mysteriousness, I guess...and the way they don't say much...it just makes you wonder...But anyhoo, I really just want a guy that acts all bad boyish but on the inside, they are really sweet and wouldn't do anything to hurt anyone...

i can seriously say that I don't want a bad guy. I tend to like the more rugged rebellious look in a guy, mainly because that's the kind of guy I'm friends with but I like guys that have morals and values and a good heart. I think this is partly to do with the fact that I was raised catholic with my own morals and values and I want someone the same. but yes good guys are a ok in my books

i met a bad boy as my first bf. hugest mistake I ever made. I believe in karma and I think he's paying for what he did to me slowly and everyday because he can't get with a girl for a real relationship. I want to be with a good guy but have't met any yet

Well I can honestly say that I was that girl who thought she wanted a bad guy.. but after you've been in relationships and they all failed ...Girls should realize that's not what they really want..It is a phase(well it was for me). All the girls want a bad guy because they think they are appealing and because that's what everybody else is looking for and they try to fit in. When you become a woman your whole mind frame changes and you know what you really want... an all around good guy! I hope this answer helps!

I wish that the self righteous "nice guys" would stop ranting about this.

Firstly, I'm not sure why you're lumping all of these so called bad boys in with drug users and woman beaters. That's a very extreme situation you're describing and the girl in question probably isn't stable if that's what she's actively seeking out in a partner.

However, for most, normal, girls, here's the deal: it isn't about being a good or bad boy. It's about confidence. On some primal, subconscious level, girls find a certain allure with guys that are outgoing and have a big character. The guys that have these personalities often turn out to be the "asshole frat boy" type. Not all of them, not even most of them, but a good enough number to create the stereotype. The sidelined nice guy friend doesn't assert himself in the same way that these swaggering men do.

Confidence, confidence, confidence. And if you don't have it, pretend to have it.

In much the same way that the phrase "curvy" is a euphemism for fat, "nice guy" now seems to stand for shy and insecure. So don't be an asshole, but don't be the BFF either. Be someone reliable and kind, but don't let yourself be a doormat.

girls just want a bad boy who is a nice guy, a tiger but is a nice kitty when he's with you, etc. the main point is that bad boys always look like they're no pushovers & are the dominant types and most women like that about men. nice guys from my experience appear to be 'soft', and though they are certainly not weak, they look like it. I mean, just look at wildlife, the female usually gravitates towards the more aggressive male.

anyway it usually takes time for people like you to be well appreciated by the female population. don't worry about it.

idk about other girls but for me a "bad boy" is generally more dominant in a relationship and he tends to take charge more often. a nice guy isn't a bad choice either I just tend to like my guy to take charge and be strong and the "bad boy" feels more that way than the nice guy.

TOUGHEN UP!

nice guys ALWAYS finish last.

Be nice and be frisky and obnoxious.


love it when guys be rude to me, because then I'm a total bitch right back at them. and guys don't like it when girls are mad so they get over it.

Ever watch romantic comedies like "My Best Friends Girl" like HELLO the douche bag totallllllly scored her. and the nice guy got sloppy seconds.

I prefer the good guys...although I've never had a bf, I'm still waiting and hoping that one day ill find one.
But to answer your question, not all girls like the bad boy type...sometimes that's all theyre handed. but then again you have other girls that want a NICE guy & yet he's with the BAD girl...

For me, I don't know if I am necessarily attracted to the "bad guys", they are just the only ones I can ever seem to find. But just recently I met a guy who is cute, funny, doesn't do drugs, and is a complete good guy. I get along with him so well and I like him a lot. A lot of girls just don't give the good guys a chance, but they don't know what they are missing. It's hard to find a good guy these days so I'm not letting this one go lol. Just don't give up yet, the right girl will come around. Just be yourself and don't let yourself turn into an asshole just because that's what girls seem to be attracted to.

Seriously I don't get them either. Ladies read this... You never see a guy dump a girl or not become interested in her just because she was too "nice." Think about it!

You've got it wrong. Women are not attracted to guys because they like being treated like crap. The reason why the bad boy gets more women than a nice boy is because he has other qualities that women are attracted to that the nice boy does not.

-Bad boys usually possess confidence, a quality that a lot of women are attracted to. Women naturally think a self assured guy will be capable of protecting her. If you can't stand up for yourself, how can a woman expect you to have the strength stand up for them?

-The fact that they use drugs and alcohol usually means that they're free of any inhibitions holding them back. Being nervous and self conscious is a serious problem when it comes to attracting women. They'll never know what kind of a person you are if you're quiet and reserved. People drink so alcohol at parties not necessarily because it tastes good but because it keeps them from thinking too much. Sometimes, it's just better to act on impulse.

-They're also not overly persistent and know how to keep their distance. Women aren't looking for a relationship with a guy who dotes on them 24/7. They could get that from a friend or relative. When it comes to romantic relationships, it's not enough to just be nice. You have to go beyond that and offer them a challenge too. If a woman knows that they don't have to any effort to get your attention, they'll quickly grow bored of you.

Now don't get me wrong. This does not mean that you should immediately adopt a bad boy attitude yourself and start binge drinking and snorting crack. I'm saying that you should take note of the qualities that women are attracted to. Nice is good, but it just won't cut it because women simply aren't romantically attracted to that.

Most importantly, as a nice guy you probably treat everybody in a friendly manner. And I mean everybody. Ask yourself this: How can a woman expect you to love her if you treat her the same way as everyone else?

The majority of women lack insight into their own motives (most men, too, but women are the ones constantly flattering themselves about their supposedly advanced emotions).

Here's the big secret. It's so simple that most people overlook it.

Ready?

Here it is:

Women who prefer bad boys are afraid of intimacy.

When women date a bad boy, they're guaranteed that they never have to be open and honest, never risk a deep and meaningful emotional connection. With a bad boy, women can fool themselves into believing that it's all his fault. If he'd only share his feelings (or stop drinking, or always answer her calls, or hold a steady job, or stop sleeping around, or whatever) then the relationship would be perfect!

Avoid these girls, because they're messed up and don't deserve a minute of your time.

It seems like your problem isn't that you are nice, or that women prefer jerks, although a lot of women do, it sounds like your game needs fine tuning.
You have to realize that sexual confidence is not assuming your going to bed down the next woman you see. It is confidence in yourself as a man. The way you carry yourself. Enjoy the moment. Enjoy the company of your female companions, in a normal way. Society causes us to objectify women, and that makes every thing they do, say, wear, etc., seem either sexual or a turnoff. Just be yourself, and don't look at women as mere sexual creatures. They are human beings, and believe me, they are interested in you. Just don't act desperate. Don't feel as if you HAVE to have them or else. Exude confidence. Pay attention to them. Listen to them. Make them feel important. Treat them as if they are special. Because they are. Remember their names and the things that are important to them. Smile naturally when in their company. Talk to them about them. And don't pressure yourself with some ridiculous goal, like trying to see if you can get inside their pants.

This question comes up all the time. Part of the problem is unclear language: most girls (and guys) who say they don't like nice guys (and girls) are using the word "nice" to mean weak, scared, or passive-agressive. Girls who say they like nice guys usually think "nice" means affectionate, considerate, or chivalrous. Other posters noted that "good boy" is sometimes (mis-)used as a synonym for pushover.

This isn't always the case - there are, of course, people who only date assholes. In some places, girls like that are very common because that's what's expected of them. In your case, I'm guessing you're meeting really immature girls due to your age and job/school, and possibly also that you also live in some inbred village in an ass-backwards state or country. (Does it sound like I've been there before?) The best way to deal with a situation like that is to move away and don't look back.

I lived in a redneck hellhole where girls were expected to date fat, abusive, drunk guys. Several of them were "saving nice guys like me for marriage." Here's how that plan worked out: I moved thousands of miles away and had fantastic sex with girls much smarter than them. They married fat, abusive drunk guys and got knocked up. Great plan, ladies. See you on PeopleOfWalMart.com someday!

Personally, the moment I hear some girl talk about how much she likes "bad boys," I mentally note that she's too stupid to date. Usually I'll ignore her, which p*sses her off. If it amuses me, I'll act like a jackass to her just to get her worked up. I'm not bluffing, of course - I genuinely don't like her. Then I'll cut her off and never speak to her again (before or after sex, depending on how clean I think she is).

As for girls who like "nice guys," well, where's the fun in being an ass to someone who likes nice guys? I make them dinner and go on dates and do fun stuff and it's great. Nice-guy-liking-girls, I tip my glass to you. Have some more champagne and then we can go take a shower together. Maybe someday I'll be lucky enough to marry one of you.

In short, I like to mix up my strategies. It's not for everyone, though... I just get a kick out of abusing abusive people. For practice, find some more of these good vs. bad threads and leave insulting comments to all the retards who like Bad Boys :D

yes I agree with some of the answers here.. the key is balance.. no one wants to be smothered and no one wants to be totally ignored.. a guy who can be caring and challenging.. a guy who can disagree and stick to his opinion and a guy who can support the woman's decision.. that is what most women look for.

HA! The age old question. Girls do NOT like bad guys. What person would want someone that treats them like crap and slaps them around (in extreme case). It not the "bad guy" in and of himself it is the set of attributes he embodies and how they are naturally attractive to women.

He is:
Confident: He is never flustered, never afraid.
Adventurous: Always being cool and doing risky exciting thing.
Not needy: He doesn't call you all the time and doesn't latch himself to you like a wussy.
He is decisive: He makes decisions, leads his social grouping.
Mysterious: Probably doesn't give all of himself...and we all know women love to "figure" people out.
Funny: Probably teases a lot

These attributes are often part and parcel of a "bad guy" amidst the abusive tendencies. But guess what? Plenty of good guys out there have the same tendencies but respect women.

www.stuff-about.com

You're trying to manipulate women, that's why you're single and alone.

It's got nothing to do with being "nice." You're not being nice, you're being fake and insincere.

The fake "nice guys" make me sick!

Here's the difference between the typical lonely "nice guy" who scares women away, and the "ass hole" jerk that get's the girl.

"Nice guy" acts nice, buys her gifts, and is willing to let her walk all over him. Why? Because he wants her to like him back. This is real manipulation. He's basically saying "I think you're a goddess and I'm willing to do anything for you. And in exchange I expect you to thank me for my efforts, and to date me." Why not pay a hooker for her attention, it's the same thing.

"Bad Boys" don't try to manipulate women. And they don't let women push them around. They have real boundaries and expectations. They're jerks but at least they're honest about it. It's this strange authenticity that is "at first" very attractive to many women. It's thier "I want things my way" that draws women to them. Most women know that these guys are not long term material, but they're fun at first.

So why get mad at these guys? The "nice guys" can learn something from these guys. Just be yourself, and stop trying to say "the right thing" that will make her like you. Stop trying to manipulate women into doing what you want.

Be nice because you like people, not because you WANT something.

How can you tell your motivations?

Do something nice for a girl, but then don't expect anything in return.

Ask a girl out, but don't expect her to drop her pants just because you gave her a compliment.

Will you be friendly with the 80 year old woman at the grocery store? If so, you're truly a nice dude. If you're only nice to hot chicks, because you're hoping they'll like you too, then you're a douchebag.

Learn how to be "nice" without expecting anything in return, while ALSO not allowing women to walk all over you, and you'll instantly find that women will respond to you just as much as they do to those "bad boys."

~ Robby

My Blog ( link )

Don't worry, in the end, the nice guys win. Those who choose the bad partners either end up unhappy are into self abuse.

Sounds corny, but its true.

You are only 19, go to school, or something to improve yourself. This will attract a nice mate.

I'll tell you a secret, and I hope you listen well. Girls are attracted to guys that pursue them. That really go after them and give them attention. They love the attention, no matter if he's a bad guy or not. And the fact is, half the time they don't even know if he is or not. But they do know is that they are getting his attention and they are being pursued. That pretty much takes the cake.

Bad guys are more attractive because they are more confident, more daring, better risk takers, and more likely to be themselves.

If you want to avoid getting the shaft, start learning to build your confidence and stop worrying about why girls go for bad guys.

Here's an article written by a close friend of mine for my website. This will help you out and answer your question.

Why Women Go For Jerks
You wonder why, and what could she possibly see in him? We ask ourselves this question every time we see it. Why do the most beautiful women always go for the jerks?

The answer is quite simple. They have something that the rest do not. That special thing they have may be limited, yet it is enough for them to have success. In the end, he never ends up keeping her. Only moving onto the next unfulfilling relationship and she is left heart broken.
The cycle of unhappiness continues. So what exactly does the Jerk do correctly? The jerk is able to show a few alpha male qualities. Non-Neediness, Dominance, he values himself.

We are only attracted to those who we view as equal or greater than value to us. The jerk is able to create attraction by over inflating himself and bringing those down around him. This is unhealthy. He keeps the girl around by making her feel like she can't get anyone else because her value is shot down so low and he over inflates his own.

Dominance is a quality that the jerk share’s with the Alpha Male. The jerk displays dominance because he views women as nothing more than sh*t. A piece of ass. Since he feels he is so much better than them he is able to conquer them easily and not care. Dominance and a certain level of aggression is an attractive trait that he does possess. It is positive because it shows strong leadership in hard times and his ability to protect her.

Non-Neediness is one of the last main and few qualities that the jerk does share with the Alpha Male. The Alpha Male doesn't need to beg or ask for anything from the girl. He knows he can already get it, so it is not THAT big of a deal. The jerk just doesn't care either. The beta-male never gets anything so he is always begging for it. So the more the Alpha and the jerk get the less they beg and thus the more they get. While the less the beta-male gets, the more he is desperate and begs for scraps or what ever he can get. This behavior as we all know is unattractive.

So the Alpha and the Jerk are in positive reinforcing cycles of getting laid, while the beta is stuck in a downward helpless spiral of misery and masturbation.
Self-Value is something that both the Alpha male and jerk have, they have a sense of there own value.

The Alpha knows who he is, and where he stands. He is a man who stands with confidence. This is a very attractive trait. The jerk has an over inflated sense of self value. He thinks that he is "the sh*t" and that he is better than everyone else. Since attraction is created by having an equal or higher value to someone else, he manages to create attraction in an unhealthy way.

This is only half of the article, I don't have enough characters to add the rest of it. Find the link to my website in my profile, click Articles, then Why Women Go For Jerks by Big Q under Inner Game Articles

well you've answered your own question
you know what to do
DO IT!

sorry, dogg

Hey, I'm 16, never had a gf, never kissed, etc. Unfortunately, in this case I don't think that it's that we're undesirable at all, but we're not for girls our age; we're actually too mature for them.

Hey dude, just hang in there. I'm a nice guy, a few years older than you, and can tell you that girls looking for a nice guy will come along. Even the ones that are completely opposite of you will come knocking. Just be careful not to let them think that you're too available or else they might not be too interested. The thing is, you have to remember that eventually, most girls (nice, not nice, drinkers, etc...) want to settle down and start a family someday (marry). This usually happens after their stage(s) (if applicable) of going after someone they're not going to end up with (or whatever kind of dude) is over and they want to find somebody to, like I said, marry. So I would not take any comments from chicks too seriously which make statements giving 100% support to the not so nice guy and saying "nice guys finish last". It's just not true. You're just too young to realize it.

Charizzle's last paragraph is true. Girls or maybe even the right girl will come along for you in time.

Dr. Jones gives some nice pointers, you should take a look at them.

And don't forget, girls like "shygurl0897" can be pretty hot too, but just have a shy personality.

Join the club dude.

I know exactly how you feel

I was in kind of the same situation years ago, and here's what worked pretty well for me.

1. Move to a place where the girls aren't all stupid. This may require going to college and/or getting a real job. I read a post here the other day about a girl whose friends wouldn't date a guy because he didn't drive a truck. If you live in one of those sh*tholes, leave ASAP. You have almost zero chances with anyone there anyway.

2. Get good at figuring out which girls like "bad boys." Blow them off and don't give them any attention. (Or, if you're the vengeful type: be a total piece of sh*t to them, then dump them. Be careful about actually f***ing any of them because they are more likely to have diseases from their douchebag ex-boyfriends.) Try not to be too judgmental about anyone's sexual preferences, but... c'mon, it's usually pretty obvious when a girl is attracted only to jerks.

3. Actively look for girls who aren't into "bad boys." Here are some signs:

- not illiterate; is more or less aware of immediate surroundings, local & world events
- has a sense of empathy for fellow human beings
- has graduated high school and doesn't look back on it as "her best years"
- girls who are smart and/or good at something are more likely to want a non-jerk
- and, of course, she acts interested in you when you *don't* act like a jackass

Good hunting!

Its not about being an asshole, its about being confident and assertive. Girls, in general, want to feel safe or secure with their guy. Which guy do you think makes them feel safer: the bad boy, or the nice guy pushover? But you don't have to be an asshole. For example, a "nice guy" would ask the girl to pick the movie they see on a date, probably some chick flick. A "bad boy" picks an action movie and tells her that's what theyre watching. The middle, and what I consider to be the best, alternative is to pick a movie you both will like but that you chose. This shows you can take control but still have some consideration for her. That example works literally, but you can also apply that same principle to just about everything.

Nice guys are usually good at making an emotional connection. Assholes are good at elliciting a sexual attraction... But if you want a chance at a healthy relationship you're going to have to learn to be as assertive as an asshole, while retaining at least some of you're nice guy qualities.

i feel ya but , but try diff approaches. but yes I would also like to know why I got hurt because I wasn't bad enough too, but what do girls get out of bein with a di^k besides gettin hurt? my cuzin is a a$shole to girls and he gets them left and right. I dongt get it.

Well being nice isn't working out for you, your frustrated and at point you probably liked some chicks who fell for the assholes and they probably call you up and say my boyfriend is such a jerk and blah blah blah blah, and I'm willing to bet these girls say why can't I find a guy just like you, and your going hello right here, me me, leave your loser boyfriend there's a nice guy right here, and they say oh we can't date we're just friends.

I am the guy women fall for, the bad boy, the asshole, or the jerk, and I pretty much have two gfs right now. I am not a druggy, felon, or an idot. The solution to your problem is simple stop being so nice, grow some balls and actually tell a girl no, put them in their place and they will not try and mess with you. These games they play are tests and so far your failing them left and right. Bad boys are dominat and women know it, women don't need to be treated like princesses and if you ever tell one that they should be, they will walk all over you.

If you can't tell a girl to shut up, she's being annoying, or say you know I could care less, then your dommed, dating is a game and in this game the nice guy always loses simple as that, if you want more advice send me a message.