Spending the night with my boyfriend?

Xper 5 Age: 35

So, my boyfriend asked me to spend the night with him this weekend (he also asked me to make sure my mother was alright with it, too). If I accept and get my mother's approval, it would be just me and him alone, as he has his own place. I'm kind of nervous at the thought of sleeping over, as I've never really stayed over at anyone's place (not even any of my friends' homes) before. He said that if it would make me more comfortable, he'll give me his bed while I'm there and that he'll sleep on the couch. Him suggesting that did calm my nerves a little bit, but I still am really nervous, though I really do want to go at the same time. If I accept and my mother allows me to go, what can I do to make myself more at ease about this?

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Cool-Relax Follow
Guru Age: 36 , mho 64%

+1 y

Instead of just asking your mom for her permission, I think you should talk to her about what's making you nervous and whether or not it's the right thing for you to do at this point. The people here don't know you or your boyfriend personally, so you're getting advice saying that you should spend the night with him, and some saying he might give you roofies. Your mom has a better idea of what's going on with you, she can probably offer more accurate advice than anyone here.

1

1 Reply
- Miss_Desirae
  
  +1 y
  That's true, you're right. Thank you. :)
  
  Reply

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lmp199 Follow
Xper 4 Age: 46 , mho 80%

+1 y

It sounds to me like he is a respectful guy, and understands that you might be nervous. I'm sure if he is suggesting that he would sleep on the couch and you take his bed, that he isn't expecting you to have sex with him. I'm sure a little intimacy may be part of this sleepover, but nothing that he doesn't think that you are ready for..Just use common sense, and if you begin to feel uncomfortable say that you have to go home.

1

1 Reply
- Miss_Desirae
  
  +1 y
  He is a wonderful guy, and that's why I like him so much. To be honest, I wasn't even thinking about sex until one of the people who answered had brought it up. That made me even more nervous, as I'm trying to save myself, but knowing he probably won't go that far helps. I am mostly nervous because he and I are fairly recent and he's my very first boyfriend. I've also never really stayed at anyone's place before, so this would be a first for me.
  
  Reply

stercor Follow
Yoda Age: 84 , mho 71%

+1 y

Sounds like you're trying to force-fit his morality onto yours.

Asking for your mother's consent and approval is to his credit.

How long have you been together? That might shed some light on the situation.

But it could be a great experience for you! Late-night pizza, watching TV together. Slow dancing.

I'd go for it, but he probably wants a you more than another guy. ;-)

Ted

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1 Reply
- Miss_Desirae
  
  +1 y
  It's been nearly a month since we've been together, so we're kind of recent...
  
  Reply

Little-Hippie Follow
Yoda Age: 36 , mho 42%

+1 y

Now here's a trivial question.

What is it exactly that you're nervous about?

What do you think is going to happen, love?

1

1 Reply
- Miss_Desirae
  
  +1 y
  Well, I don't know what I think is going to happen. It's just that he's my very first boyfriend ever, and we've only been together for about a month, and I have no idea what to expect. Also, if I go, I'll be stepping out of my comfort zone. I'm really most comfortable at my own house. I find it hard to sleep anywhere else, which includes my relatives' homes, and I've never really slept over at any of my friends' places, either.
  
  Reply

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What Girls & Guys Said

Opinion

Anonymous
(36-45)

+1 y

Sounds a bit fishy. Especially given your age. If you've been together for a few months, then I think it's okay. But if this relationship is new for you, then you should go with your gut feeling.

1

1 Reply
- Miss_Desirae
  
  +1 y
  You're right. Now that I think about it, I don't think I'm ready for this. Not yet, anyways. I do care for him very much and I think he's great, and I try to show him that when we're together by cooking him meals and baking things for him and telling him how much I enjoy being with him and how wonderful he is to me, but I don't think I can bring myself to go through with this, after all. I was going to push myself to go, especially since one of the answerers said that if I loved him, I would go.
  
  Reply
stevo Follow
Xper 4 Age: 45

+1 y

Think positive about it. Worrying will get ya know where : )

1

1 Reply
- Miss_Desirae
  
  +1 y
  :) You're right. Thank you very much! Doing that is helping a bit. ^_^
  
  Reply
Anonymous
(36-45)

+1 y

Don't drink anything he gives you. Also, make sure you lock the door at night. This is a clever tactic so guys go: "I'm scared, can I sleep in the bed with you?"

1

4 Reply
- jacquesvol
  
  +1 y
  ROTFL XD
  
  Reply
- Miss_Desirae
  
  +1 y
  Alright... Thank you for the tips! :) I'll be sure to keep them in mind. But why shouldn't I drink anything he gives me...?
  
  Reply
- Opinion Owner
  
  +1 y
  Roofies.
  
  Reply
- stevo
  
  +1 y
  Desirae, I know you said you care about him, but do not, under any circumstances, drink ANYTHING he gives you. I'm not trying to scare you, but you should be keenly aware and air on the side of caution? Ok? Better safe than sorry, kid. Good luck!
  
  Reply
jacquesvol Follow
Master Age: 79

+1 y
2.5K opinions shared on Family & Friends topic.

(Age:18 to 24)

Don't forget condoms

2

4 Reply
- jacquesvol
  
  +1 y
  Better safe than sorry.
  
  Reply
- Miss_Desirae
  
  +1 y
  You mean... He might be expecting us to do that...? Somehow, I'm even more nervous than I was earlier...
  
  Reply
- Littletad
  
  +1 y
  If he is, then that's not a good sign.
  
  Reply
- jacquesvol
  
  +1 y
  I'm not saying he expects it but things MIGHT turn out that way: you're human, aren't you? He is too. There was/ will be a first time for everybody and usually, condoms are not within reach then...
  
  Reply
jakehalsted Follow
Xper 5 Age: 45

+1 y

If you love him, you'll do it

3

4 Reply
- Miss_Desirae
  
  +1 y
  Alright. I'm really nervous, but I do care for him very much, so I'll go through with it.
  
  Reply
- stevo
  
  +1 y
  Well. What a way to suggest someone stay calm for a sleepover.
  
  Reply
- Little-Hippie
  
  +1 y
  Lol, she just totally agreed with it, no questions asked.
  
  How awesome!
  
  That's how you do it.
  
  Reply
- jacquesvol
  
  +1 y
  I've known a girl who went for a sleepover. She was 14, he was 17. She was blindly in love. She expected one guy, her guy; there were two of them. Pictures were made and circulated in her school. She tried to commit suicide three times after that.
  
  Reply

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Spending the night with my boyfriend?

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