SO I posted my story on here a few weeks ago: link
And, now, he's reappeared. He called my bday eve to wish me a happy bday and to say that he is sorry. That he screwed up, he's made a lot of mistakes, that he knows he doesn't deserve forgiveness. That, I deserve the world and he acted immaturely and cowardly and couldn't even do the right thing to call me or sit down with me and tell me he was too uncomfortable dating me because of the circumstances. THe problem now is, he misses me. He has thought of me in some form or another every single day since I went away about a month ago; he drives by my town and thinks "how did I let this happen? How did I let it get this far?" He was terrified to contact me, cause he knew I had every right to be angry and hurt and to hate him. So he just didn't, instead he hoped every day that I would call him - but I never did. So, now, he's calling me cause I needed to hear that he's sorry, that he wants me in his life, that he tried to do the logical and thing and that, to him, was that my ex had "seniority" on me cause I dated him first. So, he was being a good friend to lay off me.only, he's learned that he should've followed his heart. But, he knows he doesn't deserve forgiveness and if I don't want to ever talk to him again, he has to accept that. He made a million mistakes and he knows it. So, it's up to me, if I want to be friends we can be friends, if I want to be acquaintances we can do that, if I want to invite him out to dinner and then skip out on the bill, I can do that too. I have his number. um.what do I do? I feel like he's still sending mixed signals - telling me how we can be friends, how he wants me in his life, but not saying he wants to date me, or that he's willing to risk his friendship with my ex cause he's missed me too much. Plus, is he just holding onto guilt? Is that why he's apologizing? I asked him if he just needed to say those things to feel better about the situation? cause if that's the case I still think he's a good person, and he can sleep at night.that didn't go over well, he said he felt worse.I told him sorry, I just don't have tolerance for disrespect.which also didn't go over well cause he didn't see it as disrespect, it was pure fear, he was terrified of the situation, of me being mad at him, of everything. I told him I still saw it as disrespect. I could tell he felt awful, but I'm just so much more lost now.I've never had a guy own up to his mistakes, admit them, apologize and ask for forgiveness.I want to give him a second chance.but I'm also nervous too.!?!
Update: I thought about it for 6 days and decided to call, but we keep missing each other. I called him Sun eve., he called me back mid mon, I called him back mon afternoon.and now he STILL has NOT called me back?! if he's so sorry, wouldn't he be jumpin 2 talk
A month ago
If he really loves you and you believe that he does and he is willing to make the changes then maybe a second chance is possible. I'm going through some hard times with my ex right now and I made a lot of mistakes with words. I said some pretty horrible things because I choose to medicate my pain with alcohol. Which turned out to be my enemy. I mean she is angry and hurt and afraid of me. I'm not sure how much time I should give her but I know I feel the same way as your ex and I know that I love my ex with all my heart and would make the changes I need to. Follow your heart and really have a heart to heart talk with him if you think it is worth it.
He SERIOUSLY is missing you. Or he is putting up a really good faking act. I think the first answer is better. When me and my last ex broke up, I was telling her stuff similar to the stuff the guy said to you. The reason is that because I really didn't want to lose her, and in the end, I didn't. I don't know if your guy is a real jerk or what not, but anyways, do what you think is most comfortable. Ignore all the things he has said. Do what you think is the logical thing. If he truly is sorry, and seriously doesn't need you to forgive him, act like that. Test him. I know it sounds brutal, but you gotta, to see if he really wants you back. To see if he's just fooling, but I don't think so.
Ok, here's a good way. all you have to do, is ask him to do something for you. ask him to err... go out with you for like a day but don't tell him its gonna be the whole day then keep leading him everywhere and see if he gets tired of following you around. i think that might work.... if he doesn't want to follow you, then he doesn't want to care about your feelings. but if he does, but still tells you he's tired, then he's responsible, and if he doesn't complain, he really REALLY likes you. - A month ago
Do you want to be more than friends with him? Is he clear that those are you intentions toward your relationship with him? If not, there is more room for misunderstanding in your future. As long as he knows what you expect from him, he is accountable for giving you certain signals. But he has gone as far as to try and understand where he did you wrong, apologized and wants another chance. That says something. There is really only one way to find out if he's jerking you around or not, and that is give him a chance. Of course you can pass on it and wonder what would've happened if you did. But even if it doesn't work out, would you rather have hurt and rolled the dice, or play it safe and wonder if he could've ever redeemed himself? Choose one side and you'll have an answer either way, choose the other and you'll always question, Good luck!
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Describe your ideal first date; Where do you go? What do you wear? How does the date end?
Either a restaurant or an activity we both can enjoy and have plenty of opportunities to talk and really get to know one another. What to wear? Well, something presentable at least, but I guess it would somewhat depend on what we're doing. Hopefully, if the date goes well, there will be an opportunity for a second date. I'm not one of these guys who expects a kiss on the first date.
Afterwards..what will your date know about you?
That I am a caring, intelligent, and intentional individual. And that I can make them laugh.
(Age:25 to 29)
When: 2 months ago
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