Coconut1390

Texts regularly, but won't initiate another date...is it worth it?

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Coconut1390 (Age:18 to 24)     When: 4 months ago
Category: Dating

Is it worth it to keep communicating with a guy who continues to text you every other day or so, but does not initiate another date? It's been almost a month since we last saw each other.

He and I met on online dating site in November, but we live an hour apart. I know the distance is a challenge, and we're both busy people. I wouldn't mind this if it's just a friendship thing, but we've already done romantic stuff and been on dates. I'm not crazy about him, but he is still a potential and I do like him...but if he's not initiating dates, then I don't see the point. (I initiated the previous date, fyi)

What would you guys do?


3000 characters left  Anonymous
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Answers

    From Guys  
8
From Girls  
3
 

What Guys Said

  •  
    Anonymous User
    N/A  
    Anonymous User
    4 months ago
    If he isn't making any effort or very little to make another date then you should NOT talk to him about it. Move on as you would not want to put a gun to someone's head to make them date you. You would rather him want it. Find another guy.

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    • Answerer
      4 months ago
      You are welcome. I know you will find a guy that has "staying power" with you
    • Question Asker
      4 months ago
      True that. I don't wanna confront him about it, 'cause if I have to do that then it already means he's not that interested. In the beginning, on our first two dates, he was SUPER eager to meet. Was making future plans DURING dates even. But then after that it petered off, and now we're just casually texting. I don't have time for those games, so I'm just not gonna reply to his texts anymore. Thanks for the reply!
  • MrOracle
    39589  
    4 months ago
    Honestly, if he isn't making enough of an effort, you need to talk to him about it. Come right out and ask him: "Is this going anywhere, because you don't seem to be interested in actually dating?" Based on the answer to that question, you can make your decision. Maybe he has a legit issue, or maybe he's just keeping you as a backup. You *should* find out which it is.

    IMO, if you don't have a future, then there isn't much point in putting a lot of effort into this. Especially since the distance makes real contact that much more difficult. You could be moving on to someone local, and someone more interested.

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  • imagezofyou
    712  
    4 months ago
    I think he's still interested in you. Guys don't waste their time if they're not interested. I heard from several girls that guys that are not into them stop texting them after the first few dates. If he still continue to text is a good indicator that he still has interested unless he's really bored. I doubt that though.

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    • Question Asker
      4 months ago
      Of course he's interested - in getting in my pants. He won't call or make another date, though, and is not much for conversation via text, so I'm probably gonna ignore him for a few days and see what happens.
  • Gilchun1
    419  
    4 months ago
    Stop texting till he calls you to meet up.

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  • 6Paul11
    8247  
    4 months ago
    He is just keeping you on the back burner. It doesn't look like it has potential so I would cut my losses and move on. You don't like him that much anyways.

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    • Question Asker
      4 months ago
      My thinking exactly.
  • martyfellow
    57353  
    4 months ago
    I'd hang in there if I liked the person and the date went well.

    An hour may not seem like much, but that's two hours, round trip, at least, and people can get too busy to spare the time...

    pretty much a whole day for a date, right, including travel time, resting from all the driving. .

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  • bassman
    5977  
    4 months ago
    Stop texting...disappear forever..Period

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  • Aercz
    69868  
    4 months ago
    I think he just wants to settle with friendship for now. Perhaps after the dates he'd done with you, he didn't see the "spark" he's looking for.
    If I were you, why not just respond to his friendly advances? I'm sure you can do with that.

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    • Question Asker
      4 months ago
      Yes, that's true...and I think it's also 'cause I wouldn't have sex with him, lol. If that's the "spark" he wanted, then I'll gladly keep the distance. And yes, I'm still talking to him in a friendly manner. But, perhaps romance will hafta be put on hold for now. Thanks for the reply!
 

What Girls Said

  • EmpressMe
    -1  
    4 months ago
    Honestly, here is what I would do...
    Start a conversation. Ask how he is to make sure I'm not being selfish and he's not just having a hard time or busy or whatever. Then flat out say "So...I guess it's safe to say you're just not all that into me? I'm just asking because you don't really make much of an effort. I'd like to know so I can move on with my life" something like that. Just be bold. You're an adult at this point so you are at the age where you should be able to have this kind of conversation openly and honestly.

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    • Question Asker
      4 months ago
      Cool idea. (And I HAVE been bold.)
      I'll consider it.
  • thanhiii
    -1  
    4 months ago
    Its such a waste of time. Like two years ago I was texting this guy and he told me oh how cute I am etc.. we never met up. And just about a week ago I got a text from an unknown number, I usually delete numbers within two weeks if I don't hear from them. So it was that guy from two years ago - and he asked me will we ever meet up - and I'm like no - you never asked me out so what do you think? Didn't hear back yet but some guys do that kinda stuff. I mean I'm pretty nice - I'll meet up with you for coffee or whatever but if you want something just ask... same for girls... if there is a guy I like I will make it clear - its up to them though :)

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    • Answerer
      4 months ago
      Right? lol - I truly believe in if he wants you he will make it happen. Especially when I'm talking to the guy - "hello" - when I talk to a guy it means I'm interested so just go ahead and ASK... boys... men... lol
    • Question Asker
      4 months ago
      Wow, that's so lame! He was definitely using you as backup. Glad you told him off. And yes, this seems like a big waste of time, especially when all he really says to me is "whats up" and whatnot. Thanks!
  • TexanCowgirl
    1349  
    4 months ago
    I think you should let him go. He's not into you romantically. A guy who really liked you would be doing whatever it takes to spend time with you. Text him if you want, but remember this is friends only.

    You have 500 characters left
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    • Question Asker
      4 months ago
      Yes, I agree. I think I'll start ignoring his texts, 'cause this is a waste of my time. He's an hour away and doesn't ask me out anymore, so I think he's pretty much stringing me along. My guy friends don't act this way, so I think I'm gonna let him go like you suggested, unless he starts shaping up SOON. Thanks!
 
   
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