My Boyfriend and I have been dating for a year and a half. I am 24, he is 26. About 6 months into our relationship he found out I was talking to another guy and he broke up with me. I changed my ways, realized I loved him like nobody else and we worked it out and have been happy. I know he forgives me but he will never forget. Last weekend, we went out downtown Chi with his friends and a random guy in the bar grabbed my hand. I pulled it away but my Boyfriend saw this and left me downtown. I had to take a cab to my parents house and he never called to see if I was ok. The next day I went to get my things and he said he wasn't ready to talk. We eventually worked it out but like him, I can forgive but I can't forget. When he drinks he looses his judgment and he put my life in danger by making me walk alone. At 3am. He apologized but it still bothers me. I told him he has to slow down on his drinking and he has to communicate better with me rather than run and hide when something goes wrong. Well, his stepdad's Girlfriend asked me what happened and I told her. He found out and is very mad at me that other people know what he did. He said the reason he left me there was because of how I used to be and he thought I was doing it again (ie, talking to other guys). So he basically "threatened" me by saying "now I have to tell them why I acted that way". Well, I haven't spoken to him since and we are very close. We talk over ten times a day and haven't spoken in over 24 hours. It seems that he may not really think he did anything wrong if he is mad at me for telling someone and the silent treatment and not talking to me to work this out. Why? Is it over between us? We bought a dog together and almost got married last year by eloping. We have our ups and downs like any relationship but it seems like he needs it to be perfect all the time and when it isn't, he runs and hides rather than wants to fix it. I always come back and call or go over there to try and fix us but he rarely meets me halfway. His family has been divorced 3x and he lives with his stepdad so it seems like he is acting like his family taught him to; by running the other way when something bad happens. He even admitted this to me last week that he needs to change this. Well, now that his whole family knows what he did to me, they think he is a huge asshole and he is mad at me for telling them. I don't think I was wrong because if he has this serious a lack of judgment when he is drinking, I believe his family needs to know. His older brother let him have it for what he did to me and I just haven't heard a word from him. Is he mad, embarrassed, angry? I am his first serious relationship too. Besides all of this he is very good to me and we are madly in love, we complete each other and he tells me how much he loves me everyday. Why won't he call me? Should I wait or call first? Am I making a mistake by running back to him? Did I do something wrong? Why is he playing these games?
Update: Well, he wrote me an email today to break up with me. Everything he wrote in the email pertained to things that happened before we separated the first time and we already worked those things out. Why would he do this to me? What should I do?
8 months ago
He will come back if you don't chase him, what I am worried about is your future. do you always want to be the one who has to meet him all the way! always apologize! always be wrong, while he is perfect? you will get tired of that and when you do it will be ugly!!! you did make a mistake, you changed your ways! this time you didn't do anything wrong because you didn't know this person, you were grabbed, I seen it before because I used to bounce in clubs. you should not have to say sorry for what you didn't do! if you do it now you will always do it, until you can't take it anymore!
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(Age:25 to 29)
When: 8 months ago
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