my girlfriend continually talks to her ex-bf even though she hasn't seen him in almost a year. I've asked her to stop talking to him but she just says I can't stop he's my friend you wouldn't understand. It really makes me angry and I just don't know what to do anymore.
I have been in a similar situation as you My guy kept a lot of "female relationships/friendships" on the side. I never met any of them - he didn't mention them but he texted them/called behind my back. I was FURIOUS and felt betrayed by him being so disloyal. Maybe I was a little insecure or jealous.. but I felt these girls and HE was disrespecting OUR relationship AND my feelings. We broke up over this.. Got back together 3 mos later. He SWORE he wasn't talking to ANYBODY.. Guess what? He was... He valued them more than he valued me. For me it was a dealbreaker. I broke our engagement and never looked back. I could not be with a guy who would TOTALLY disrespect me.. and we were planning to be married. Had the ring - set the date... the whole 9 yards.. He has moved on and also.. I found out he had an onlinedating profile telling the WORLD he was SINGLE.. Don't trust this girl, Sweetie.. You deserve to be RESPECTED. If you did this to her? I DOUBT she'd be too pleased... She's too young to be with you in a committed relationship if she still has to communicate with an EX BOYFRIEND. I wouldn't allow it. Hugz...
There are plenty of other friends out there. She doesn't need him, and its insulting to you. Tell her to put herself in your position. If you were talking to your ex, and she called you and was asking you questions like "what should I wear tonight?" and your response was "Oh hey, remember that one dress you wore when we were together, wear that, it looks so sexy." Not only would your girlfriend be seriously p*ssed off, she'd call a girls night and assemble the troops to mess that bitch up. Therefor; if you're telling her you have a problem with something and she's shrugging it off you should deffinately bring it up again. If she didn't insist on talking to him, you probably wouldn't have a problem with them occasionally checking up. She's giving you insecurities by not respecting how you feel. Be upfront and honest, and if she still acts as though her EX is her best friend, then maybe you should go have a night with the guys and forget about the bullsh*t for a night.
Seems to me there are two possible reasons that you want her to stop talking to her ex.
1) She has given or is giving you a reason to believe she would cheat on you
2) You are for whatever reason, insecure with your relationship as it stands.
I would figure out which reason best fits. If it is because you don't trust her, talk to her honestly about it, find out if the relationship is really worth it.
If you don't really have a valid reason for wanting her to break the friendship it is probably because you're insecure--sorry. Just breathe and be rational, maybe ask to meet this guy. Ease some of your fears. I know if I had a boyfriend that wanted me to stop talking to a friend, I'd be upset. Give her a chance to show you that they really are nothing more than friends.
If she absolutely refuses to work with you at all on this then you know that there probably *is* a reason to be worried.
You need to stop telling her what to do. You can't tell her who she can and can't talk to. She broke up with him for a reason and she's still with him for a reason, you're doing a lot more harm to your relationship than good. I'm still very close friends with a lot of my old romantic partners and I know that if a new partner came into my life and suddenly told me to stop talking to them I'd flat out refuse and continue doing so. I'm sure she doesn't tell you who you're allowed to talk to so stop trying to control her.
Tell her to look at in your point of view, and tell her how you feel.. Relationships are based on feelings.. And if she won't stop talking to him, and says you wouldn't understand, she must be hiding something..
stop being a jessas douch about it...thats what you can do...yeah it may hurt but somepeople keep on friends...if she hassent seen him in a year what do you have to fear...if you know she loves you and you trust her then stop being a baby about it...if you don't trust her why are you dateing her