Ex cried when he kissed me and said goodbye

[Anonymous]

My now ex boyfriend broke up with me over the weekend and I was really upset, being that it completely took me by surprise and that I didn't want it to be over for us. He said he wants to do things on his own and he is ready to commit himself completely to me. He said he wants to be with me, marry me, have kids with me, but he needs to work on himself before doing that. Than when we gave each other our last kiss, I cried and he cried also. I'm still extremely hurt over it and I'm trying to stay strong, but I can't stop thinking about that day. It was possibly one of the worst days in my life because I love him so much,

what does this whole situation mean? Should I move on? Keep my heart open for him? Should I call/text him? What do I do?

I do want him back, but only if he wants to and feels like he is ready

[Anonymous]

im going through a similar thing and um going to give you all advise. my boyfriend of six years left me. I can relate to it feeling like the worst day of your life. we both cried too. its been three months. I was no contact for two of those months. it gets easier to stop trying to contact. I didn't contact him because I was hurting so bad I just withdrew. you can have a clearer mind in how you can get hin back and see what really went wrong. trust me I realized a few things I never even saw as the problem. we are now on friendly terms which is positive after I sent him a letter saying I had realized these things now.

if you want him back don't contact him and regain yourself. read all the win him back articles when you feel like contacting him. I know everyone says talk to friends. dont. they will always tell you to move on and whilw they mean well it will only make you feel worse. your positive attitude has to come from you. when your sad think about another way to win him bacj.

[rosa1019]

my now ex brokeup with me over a week ago and I'm still deling with the after math I don't know what to do where to go.. depreion has set it.. worst part is he still texts melike we are friends. I can't handle thia at all. I don't want to move on but maybe that's what has to be done. I have been reading online about all these things how to win your ex back and the first thing is that to have no tact after 9 monhs of texting everyday that is so hard. but I get the feeling he does not care

[Mohannadahmad]

if he doesn't care why is he messaging you? wake up. You have the situation all in your hands don't let it drift away, when he messages you don't reply for a while, when you do reply make it quick and subtle. go do your own things with friends and stuff, when you speak let him know your really well even if your not, watch him crawl back to you. Don't show him your needy of him hell just go to someone else. Keep showing him you don't care for days untill you can really see youve taught him a lesson.

[rosa1019]

so your saying if I look needy that's pushing I'm to someone else...but I don't wanna leave him alone like I don't care and him go with someone else

[BlueBison]

it's a smart/mature choise of him I guess.

He knows that he has parts of himself that he has to better improve before being able to love you properly.

He loves you that much that he had to do this break up so he could become better for you, and in turn that will only stregnthen your relationship together.

you should still keep in touch occasionaly

don't loose contact with him! I'd say give him a week of no contact

then just text/talk for a while. If he's taking this time to improve and better himself, then you should do the same, it's a time of growth .

[Asker]

I texted him yesterday telling him I miss him and all I got in response was 'i'm sorry for hurting you'. It wasn't the answer I was hoping for, but what can you do...

My questions are is that an instant red flag? Like does he even want to try it again? Is he hiding his feelings? If he isn't playing games, how long should I wait to contact him? If I do, what do I say? I don't know what to think of it anymore...

[kazza297]

its too soon for him to be saying he misses you. he's probs having a hard time and all guys want to do is push the hurt to the side. don't take it as a aign he doesn't care. take it as a sign you need to give him space. don't contact for a few more weeks. or say what you nees to say in one message and leave it at that. ignore him for a while and then follow the above advice about talk/text.

[BlueBison]

he seems generally sorry though. If he didn't love you do you think he would have been that genuine? I think he still loves you, remember just because you two aren't together does not mean the love suddenly dissapaer, it's still there, and him taking time for himself to grow and mature is his act of love towards you, he's doing it for you.

[Asker]

Thank you all very much, its really been helping.

I really want to text him that I love him and miss him, but I also know he needs his space and I don't want to seem clingy or needy and even disrespectful towards his wishes. I am fully aware and understand he needs his time, but it kills me that I can't tell the man I love "i love you" Do you know what I mean? Its just hard...