Men "Should" Pay For Dinner


My parents explained it to me pretty simply. If you, as in, anybody, male or female, invites someone else out to eat, whether dating, in friendship, a co-worker, anybody, you, the asker, should expect to be the one to foot the bill for dinner because you asked not because you are a man or a woman. Case in point: if I ask you over for dinner at my house, you don't expect to show up at my house and have to cook the meal yourself, do you? No, because I asked you to come to dinner because my intention is to treat you to a meal.

So what is it about a first date that's different and that tends to ruffle a few feathers? Well, guys usually do the asking for dates right, so they usually would then "have to" pay. If you're not the richest guy or you go out a lot on dates or you're just a guy in general, that could add up pretty quick especially if you're also, I don't know, "expected" to not be cheap on a date, to not use coupons on a date, to not, not pay, right? I fully agree with this guy's point in the video that at the very least, for all those reasons, when it comes to the first date bill, regardless of who asked whom, both parties involved on the date should offer to pay for the meal. Kind of like that same friend you invited over for dinner at your house at least offering to help you wash the dishes afterward, and you being a good host, saying, no you're a guest, relax.

We don't live in a time where most women, thankfully, are the legal property of men and don't make their own money anymore. We live in a time where women have fought pretty damn hard to be treated as equals in society, and yet with some things, women tend to still divert to this sort of helplessness like we can't do anything, like we aren't educated, like we don't own our own stuff. If you don't want a guy to say, I expect you to cook, clean, and have sex with me because you're the woman, it's expected, why do women then say, we expect a guy to pay? In either situation, it makes what you're doing seem forced and unwelcome because someone is demanding you do it or automatically expecting you to do it simply because you are the sex you are. As the speaker said, if you as a woman are raised right, you'll at least offer to pay, and if he's raised right, more than likely on a first date, he'll pay for dinner.

Men

Me personally, I'm a go dutch girl on the first date. I pay for me, you pay for you, that way I feel there is no owing anybody anything, and we're on a date because I want to date you and you want to date me, not because I'm trying to get something from you, or you me. Usually the guy will insist on paying for both which I think is nice, but I don't expect him to pay, nor would I say, "you're paying right?" as if it were some sort of foregone conclusion.

I was raised in a pretty fair and equal house hold. Both my brother and I were expected to both cook, clean, do yard work, pump gas, or whatever chores when we were old enough. There was no, because you're a girl or because you're a boy. My parents are the same way. They share all tasks equally even though they both grew up in households where things were either strictly a "man's job or work or a woman's job or work." They hated that and saw how unfair it was and really worked on growing their equal partnership and teaching us the same lessons.

On down the road, once you get past that first date awkwardness, I really think that any relationship should evolve into one where its not a you, you you, who pays, or a me, you, me, pays, or a, I'm the guy, so I should just pay all the time, it should become you, man or woman, pay because you genuinely want to take care of that other person and treat them. And if you're genuinely on the struggle train, you let your partner know up front and you work it out with understanding, instead of demanding. I just think its high time we let go of notions of forcing someone to pay or do anything because their gender or sex is "supposed" to do it.


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What Guys Said 37

  • — "I pay for me, you pay for you, that way I feel there is no owing anybody anything, and we're on a date because I want to date you and you want to date me, not because I'm trying to get something from you, or you me."
    Yes. Someone else who says this.

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  • To be honest I dont see the point of paying for someones dinner I may never see again. Rather just hangout and get to know them.

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  • Thats why i tend not to Invite...

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  • Well, if this makes you happy, then keep doing it.

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  • I am in my upper 40's. The average age of women I date is 23, which hasn't changed since I was 25 myself. My girlfriend is 21.

    I always ask my dates, "Why do you like older men?" The number one reason is, "They don't expect me to pay [for a date]". The girls, at least the ones that I go out with, HATE having to pay. They are working hard, paying for school, and they don't have any extra money. They can't afford to go on a date if they pay. They also look at the guys their age who expect them to as cheap and not suitable mates.

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    • Someone else in the comments talked about the money issue. Clearly, male or female, if you don't have money, you can't afford to date as far as outings where bills are concerned, but there are lots of things one can do that don't involve a bill being presented, but if your situation is broke city which let's be honest 80% of college kids are, knowing your own broke situation, I would feel its extremely unfair to label your male counterpart as being cheap when you're both struggling to pay for school and working crazy hours. To me that does say something negative about these women you're dating. It sounds like the moment you stop footing the bill, these same women are going to be gone b/c they're telling you that's a huge reason they are dating you, b/c you can afford to pay. But you know, it's whatever. It's your life, if it makes you happy and it's not hurting anyone, go fourth and be happy doing what you're doing.

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    • Like I said, do you and be happy with your life. Money can make a person "happier," but it is definitely not everything. I mean for the same reasons you're highlighting here and in other comments, you're paying for all this stuff b/c according to you, you're rich, so are these women dating you... or your money. I mean the minute you stop paying for any reason, how long are they going to stay with you because you're you, and say a good person, and caring, and loving, and everything else? And your analogy of people in college as not being up to par b/c they don't have money is ridiculous. I had plenty of friends in med school working crazy hours and going to school crazy hours headed toward their high paying job, but I guess they didn't "work hard enough." Please.

    • Why would I be dating if I were such a loser as to not have money?

      The number one reason for divorce is over money. Too many women realize that money is important AFTER they marry their guy who won't be making much.

      People in medical school often jump the gun on their living expenses, which is ok, given their expected future earnings.

      Do you know what the PhD graduate calls the MS graduate?
      Boss.

  • i know a Girl is For real when she's not looking at me like im her father expecting to pay for her. whenever a girl pays for her own or pays for everything then i know i got me something special. (IF ALL THIS IS DONE WITHOUT HER ASKING OR COMPLAINING WHEN I SAY 50/50)

    too many girls now a days expect free rides, then have the nerves to cry on Facebook or here when they get used by a guy.

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    • You keep thinking that way. That is why I am in my late 40's and my girlfriend is a 21 year old college student and former model. Oh, and one of my former gfs was a 19 year old rising actress when we met; and whom you can watch on tv now (we broke up because I didn't want to be pictured in the tabloids). Not only do I pay for every date, even flyaway dates, but I bought the actress a car for her birthday.

      Your stingy attitude won't get you very far. Sooner or later, women who do not put an emphasis on a man's earnings potential resent him.

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    • "so I can get more of the 50/50 girls"
      They wouldn't go out with you anyway.

    • @WalterRadio are you sure you're 43? I think hanging out with then young girls got you acting like them. thats really the best thing you had? my weekend plans says other wise

  • bullshit. we're equal right? pay me first and i'll pay yours then.
    how come all girls wants equality on all levels and then for money there's still the courtship going on where you have to bust yo ass to be recognised as a Gentleman? you want my attention and my courtship (money + time) then earn it, for god sake.

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    • Um, how does a woman earn your money/time if it's a first date and she's getting to know you? This is sort of implying in the same way you don't want to presumably pay for a first date, that you are so special (aka, a woman who demands you pay for dinner) that someone must earn their way to you... and you're busting your butt to be recognized as a gentleman, I mean just be one. It shouldn't be a hard thing. If it is, you're doing it wrong. Also, it's funny how men created this system where women were to be essentially paid for because they would not allow them to earn money, work, or pay for anything and now it's kind of backfired on all the future generations and now you're all mad, lol. You've got quite a few forefathers to thank for this antiquated system.

    • nah, i'm saying that if you want me to be extra nice spending my money on you you better watch out for your behaviour as much as i do in being a Gentleman. Otherwhise, check please, time's up, you pay.

  • Right. In general if someone invites me somewhere regardless of if that person is a man or woman I'll still offer a couple of times to pay my fair share. If they are extremely insistent I'll thank them for their generosity. Just because they invited me somewhere doesn't mean I should feel entitled to a free meal. Chipping in shows I enjoyed their company and that they shouldn't feel the need to have to pay for my company. Like the first date or what not if I invite the girl to dinner, pick the place and she's good company of course I'll insist on paying the whole thing and make sure I do. But men should not be footing the entire bill all of the time in a relationship. Thats obvious. Women are making money these days and should break out their wallets as well. If women want to be considered equals they need to be taking on equal responsibilities as men. Not just reaping all of the benefits. Seeing a woman taking on at least some responsibility is attractive. Chicks that freeload aren't.

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    • Well said. I think though there is this confusion when it comes to friends or those in longer term relationships. Let's be clear, if you hang out with your friend (s) quite a bit or your gf/bf quite a bit and you aren't at that point offering to whip out your wallet, then yeah, you're a total free loader even as you suggest if they invited you out. I mean date 12 or hangout number 12, and you're still pretending the bill doesn't exist? Yeah, no! But I think on first dates, or first invites with friends, the one person is literally intending to take the other out and show them a good time not out of financial obligation, but because they want to and in those situations, it is "appropriate" that they pay because they asked someone else out... but on down the line, no matter who is asking, everyone should be attempting to foot the bill without being asked to do so.

    • 100% agree with you.

  • I have no problem paying. I have no problem being a real man. I want to be a real man. But I want a real woman!

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    • what's your definition of a real woman b/c simply paying for a meal does not a real man make. It makes him generous for sure, but it goes beyond that.

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    • That's a pretty vague and simplistic view of what a real woman should be, but I do fully agree with your point that freeloaders are awful in the sense that they absolutely aren't going out for the right reasons at all. I find the somewhat equivalent to be a guy who asks me out and then essentially demands sex as payment to be the same thing. It's deplorable in the exact same way. Someone going on a date and expecting money for dinner or sex as "payment" for their time.

    • It is hard to explain in detail, for a lot of people exactly what they want. Especially since so much is open to interpretation. I have found this true of women as well. I hear everyday how many want a "sensitive" or "caring" man. But I find in practice most women rarely, if ever, choose men with those characteristics.

  • -When do women invite men out?
    -Why should I pay when there's a chance you will ghost me after the date? That means the date was worthless and my money was wasted.
    -Why should I have to pay when you make your own money?

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    • -Trust, my friend, women do sometimes ask men out. Rare, for sure, I'm not arguing that point, but it does happen.
      -"Should pay?" Hmmm... If you never want to pay for a date, than don't because it's 'your money,' and you go right ahead and hold on to every nickle, but as a woman I've paid for the dinner or the movies or whatever on dates because I want to treat the other person. There is no "should" or obligation about it. The only thing you should want to do is treat someone the way you want to be treated. He treats me and I treat him, and on and on. There are no guarantees in life whether someone you date will be there for date number two whether you spend hundreds on a first date or zero bucks. Dating is a crap shoot. You never know if you're going to come out on top or with nothing.
      -How long can you argue that point because you make your own money too. Both should pay from time to time.

    • I refuse to allow my date to pay. It is fairly simple, really. I make more money in an hour than she does all day, and for some in two or three days.

      In return, I expect her to respect my time. Never, ever be late. You can spend money and make more, but when you spend time, it is gone forever.

  • Okay first and foremost just to get it out of the way, women where never treated as property ever. At no point in time where they treated as property. The very notion of which is laughable to the point where its terrifying that despite all evidence from historical to legal to the very thing you are arguing about in your take, some one would believe it (let alone entire generations). When a man was expected to stay and die so that a woman could live (women and children first) that indicates she was valued more then him. When a man could be consripted into police fire and military service against his will while women could not, shows that she was valued and he was not. When a man was expected by law to pay his wifes taxes (hence her land going to him because by law he had to pay for it and it was considered unfair to give him that responsibility but no means to actually follow through (kind of like having a manager but taking away any authority they might have) and to pay her debt or be imrisoned thats society valueing her not him. When you needed some one to sacrifice on the alter of progress it was a man plain and simple. Women could work in fact the myth that they couldn't comes from the fact that womens goal was to avoid work because quite frankly no one wants to slave away in a factory or field for sixteen hours a day (something all men had to do (while giving away their earnings to women, which happens to this day hence women comprising 70% of global spending (80% in the US)). So women chose not to work and a certain group of people (you know who I'm talking about) decided to try and manipulate the fact to push an idea on the populace that women where mistreated. We have documents dating back to the 1400s that clearly show female blacksmiths (several) among other things. So yeah, never property, if anything it would be easier to argue men where more then women. So on to your point, as you stated yes by stating its the person who asks you are saying its men by default, its a loop hole designed so that one can say they are being equal and fair while maintainging the status quo (but only for men).

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    • The reason why men pay is because in reproduction women have a greater risk so in relationships men prove their value to her by providing resources, paying for dates is just an extention of that (hence the moment women started giving sex away for free guys descided they didn't want to have to dedicate their resources anymore, because they no longer had to bargain for sex). I would agree with the speaker, it has nothing to do with money but rather investment in the relationship. If she never offers to pay then she is using you plain and simple. If one expects men to follow their tradtional gender role, and I see nothing wrong with that, they damn well better follow their own (something I see a whole lot of women not doing ie expecting him to adhere to strict gender roles while she gets a free pass). Personally I don't mind paying so long as she does something as reciprocation.

    • The old fashioned crime of adultery is a property crime.

      Yes, women were the legal property of their fathers or husbands in many cultures. That is where the tradition of "giving away" the bride came from.

    • @WalterRadio What about the man working himself to death in the fields? What was that considered? What was it when a man had to stay behind and die so a woman could live? What was it considered when a man by law could be forced into military service against his will while a woman got to stay behind where it was safe? What was it considered when a man was put in prison for his wifes debt? Or when he had to pay the taxes on her property/earnings? Do you know what it was called when a woman beat her husband? Henpecked, when it got sever enough do you know what the punishment was? For the man who was beaten to be tied to the back end of a wagon or to ride a donkey backwards while being paraded through the streets while he was pelted with stones, rotted food mud and feces (pretty much what ever any one could grab). How often where women drawn and quartered? never. How often where women castrated for crimes? Never. So I'm sorry that I don't buy into your bullshit statement.

  • and this is why i dont go out to eat on a first date or anywhere that has to be paid. i go to the park or to a river or something free where we can talk. i dont know you just that i MIGHT be interested in you. women just try coming up off a dude these days getting a free meal and a good time. not anymore not from me! the only time i take a woman out on a first date (or first few) to somewhere that requires money is when its a movie that I WANTED to see.

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    • What if she has seen what you want to see or doesn't like the same types of movies has you do

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    • @thatkaruguy Your first impression you would be giving off is selfish. You would be off putting to others. You are forlorn to the point that it is not funny.

    • @funny_strange_man hah im simply voicing my opinion on gag. i dont act like this with women i date but this is simply how it goes. if i set up the date and im paying then im doing something i want. besides i rarely go to the movies anyways and the movies i want to see are popular like marvel/dc or specific disney movies. other than that im taking her to the park that way we get to talk the whole time and if we dont match then no skin off my back i had a nice day at the park in good weather.

  • I would agree but sometimes she insists and she's rich so it's not hard for her to do.

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  • can you people stretch your imagination further than "having dinners"... ugh so dull.

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  • I don't pay in the first meeting her bill. Everyone should pay his/her money. Because otherwise it goes to free food and free drink for women. İn the first time when I see those women who never pay bill. One Russian woman told me that she never pays. I was waiting in the cash and I was paying the money while she was waiting me outside of the coffee shop. We never met again. And she was just a gold digger. After I realized this type of women. So its not nice for me to pay woman's bill. Because she didn't give me anything. And even she was very boring and bad person.
    İf I really liked a woman , so deeply , so strongly maybe I can pay for her. But otherwise I will never pay her bill. We are equal.
    Woman=Man.
    No difference.
    İf we start relationship of course sometimes I can pay all the bill. And sometimes she can pay all the bill when I have no money. I am not thinking on it. Money is really not important my life. But it doesn't mean that I am sucker. I will not give her free food and free drink for no reason. Some women are really gold digger. And I don't like them. I even stop to talk with them. No matter how much they are beautiful , sexy or something. Character also very important for me.

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    • Sounds like you are cheap. Maybe character is important.

    • @WalterRadio Sounds like I am cheap. Where did you understand my article? From your ass? I expressed everyting clearly. And I am totally right. You are judging me and you are insulting me with your low ıq. You Americans are really ignorant. No wonder why polls and in the youtube videos when a spokesperson ask a question Americans don't know anything. Go and read some book.

  • If I get invited to dinner, I usually come expecting to pay for my own food. If someone wants to pay for my food they are welcome to but I don't expect that. Likewise, if I invited a friend to dinner I would expect that they were going to pay for their food and I really would be quite pissed if they tried to push their bill onto me and let me just say that they would not be spending any more time with me socially.

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  • Everything was easier and better when women had no rights.

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  • inviting someone over is not thew same as meeting for a date.
    If you invite someone into your house, you're extending them your hospitality, and hosting them.
    If you ask someone on a date, you initially suggest ti, but the date itself is on mutual grounds. you're being hosted by the restaurant/cafe you visit, and i feel that ESPECIALLY in a date situation, acting as equals is very important

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    • Take the word date out of it completely. If a stranger came up to you and said hey, I'm inviting you out to eat, you would not expect to go there and have to pay. This is just standard ettiquette, but we happen to be talking about it in the context of dating. If you ask, you are by nature extending your hospitality to the other person whether you are male or female. Now as I've said, I personally prefer to just go dutch on a first date b/c there is no do I pay, should he, should I... just we both pay our own way and then neither leaves feeling like they 'had to' do anything.

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    • Ngl I'm starting to agree with you here...
      Most times when I go out with my friends, anything we do is more of a suggestion of what we could do, rather than an invite-if I suggested that we all went out for a meal, no one would expect me to be paying.
      But in a two person situation, particularly a date, it is more of an invite-your offering to take them out and do you should really pay

    • Ha, glad you're coming round. Friends are different, especially groups of friends. If I say to my group of friends, lets go out for dinner, the assumption is that they are paying for themselves, we will just happen to be going out together. If it's just one friend, I might indicate I'm treating them or if its a long term friend, the rules are just understood that we will both fight tooth and nail over the bill until one person gives up, lol. But yes, a date is different to me. You have no relationship with this person (unless previously a friend), so the asking bit establishes that the one will be footing the bill b/c they invited.

  • Huh? You state in your title that men "should" pay for first date, and yet you seem to describe that you pay for yourself (*pats you on the shoulder* "Welcome to the 21st century, feminist").

    Luckily therefore you don't quite seem like the usual sexist feminist... and for those

    https://m.popkey.co/5cfc99/jW7pQ.gif

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    • The title is just referencing the video and the woman in it who seemed to imply as much which is why the should is in quotes.

    • you seem bitter, whats wrong with what she said?

  • i would pay for dinner if she was like the old people
    but for young girls , she must earn it

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What Girls Said 16

  • If you are an American female, id understand why you wrote this.

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  • I just watched this the other day and I suppose I have been guilty of not offering but it was not out of expectations that he should. I always would and could pay for myself but I felt if the guy instantly reaches for the check and puts his card in it, we could then have that awkward moment where I grab my wallet and try to pay and he will tell me he is paying, or we could skip the cliche script. It was never expectations on my part or not willing to, it was the fact that he snatched the check really fast. Also, if I am being completely honest and judge me all you want but I do like a guy to pay on a first date, it shows he is able to and it is gentleman like for some reason. BUT, next time I will pay or if we go out for drinks after dinner I will pay. I guess to sum it all up, I would rather take turns paying for the whole check rather than splitting it down the middle like I do with my friends. I don't care if it is me paying OR him but I would rather alternate the whole tab.

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    • No judgement here as to what you said. I think what the video was trying to say was more when the check is presented, a woman responding to the effect of, you're paying of course, right? Or you're the guy, you're supposed to pay, not me. However, I'll say it a million times over, that when its a first meeting either friend, family, co-worker, whomever, if you offer to "take someone out to eat" for date or lunch meeting or just to hang out, you "should" pay not because of your gender, but because you asked to take the person out, but as you've pointed out, date or outing 2, 3, 10, it "should" be a you pay, I pay, or you split, or whatever arrangement that should come naturally to you vs. he should pay for every meal and date for the rest of his life unless, as some guys have insisted, that is what they feel men should do and they choose to do it. I'm sure those same men feel women should do things as well, but that's a whole other thing.

  • lol I love how so many women really didn't like that answer.

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  • It's like saying "Women 'SHOULD' be in the kitchen."

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  • when i was dating, i always came prepared to pay for myself; that way, i could at least offer to split the check, and there's no expectation that i "owe" anyone sexual favours.

    on my first date with my now-boyfriend, i let him buy me a drink when he offered, but i insisted on paying for my own supper. now that we've been together for almost 2 years, we either take turns or split the costs (if he pays for dinner, i pay for the movie, and vice versa) as long as we're both working. if not, then whoever has money pays.

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  • I'm old fashioned in the way that the man pays... but in the long run after a few dates.. it's worth his while. Treat me right I treat you right. If it works out. You'll probably never have to cook a meal in your life again because I was also brought up that the wife looks after the house, kids and has dinner ready while the husband is making the living etc. But I don't mind paying my way/contributing in between being in the family way, maybe after too depending on the situation... If I have to work, I'll go back to work.

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    • So both of you adhere to your traditional gender roles?

    • ... and I'm certainly not saying that can't work, because it does for many people who do willingly like or want to adhere to so called traditional gender roles. Good for you.

    • @hellionthesage yes quilty. But I'm still soft hearted at the same time and can't help myself in offering to pay... or spoiling them. Too generous at times. As my ex said once "your hearts too big for your wallet"

  • Thanks for sharing that video!

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  • This is simple: Just don't go on a first date that costs money.

    Srsly, I have NEVER understood the idea of dinner as a first date. Never understood it in my life. What the hell?
    What if it doesn't go well? Then you are literally stuck, at a table, awkwardly eating, in awkward quasi-silence... for a LONG time... with basically zero distractions of any kind.
    And even if it *does* go well -- If the two people aren't great conversationalists, it's still fucking awkward. There isn't much in the environment to use as a conversation starter, and, again, it's not a dynamic environment, either. And... it's expensive. What a terrible idea.

    Do you live in a city with any kind of downtown, or any kind of walkable area? Just walk around and explore stuff. People watch. Gawk at things. Make fun of people. Have *conversation* together.

    Not only does this kind of date cost $0.00, but it's also in a dynamic environment that's MUCH less awkward than, say, a restaurant.

    First dates should be free.

    Duh.

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    • Ha, you're preaching to the choir. Movies... dinner... are really terrible dates. Movies don't allow for any interaction at all and dinner can be way too much interaction. My first dates if suggested by me or (ha) insisted by me, are always active fun crazy things. If anything I know I'll have a good time, and there is definitely something else to focus on other than crushing silence.

  • My man and I have been together for many years and we split the bill.

    Except date #1, which I purposely planned to pay for the whole thing. I offered the first date to pay for the whole meal and I was very serious about doing so. He was very shocked and surprised when I ended up paying for the whole thing (after a very long argument over the bill lol).

    This really set the tone for our relationship. He always brings that first date up and how it was "so different" because I paid for it, even though he DID ask me out. I did this for a reason, though.

    I wanted him to see that I am also capable. Not trying to scream "I know I am a woman but HAH LOOK I CAN PAY TOO SEE!" lol. But more for him not to ever feel like it's all on him and that I cannot contribute. He's a very hard working guy, and he always says how that first date being completely paid for by me has made him even more determined to work harder for our future because his "woman is able to step up". He makes pretty good money, don't get me wrong, but so do I. Doing that on the first date has really made him so much more appreciative and more able to ask me whenever cash is needed, and vice versa. He knows he can rely on me if needed. He knows he can turn to me and say "kinda low on money right now, can you pay for this one babe? I got the next" and I have asked the same from him. We are in a relationship and it is two people, not one.

    Maybe it's because our relationship is more like a bestfriendship, kind of like that guy in the video says. I would not want my best friend to ever be scared to let me know that he/she cannot pay this once, or needs my help. I would want them to be completely comfortable with me to speak about financial matters, which we have in our relationship fortunately.

    There have been many times where I turned to him and said "babe I need a textbook for school. Can you please pay for it, and I'll pay for tomorrow's dinner?" and he never hesitates. Because he knows we always balance it all out.

    He sometimes likes to surprise me and pay for the whole bill, since we usually split it. I tell him how proud I am of him for something that seems like a small gesture, but for me is a big deal. My parents raised me to be equal with a man and to remember that he deserves spoiling too.

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    • That's so nice to hear, really. Some girls are just so on top of that hill, like, oh, I'll never pay, and the guy should pay for everything all the time, and it's like, just reverse the image for a second. If you went out with a guy who expected you to pay all the time, how long would that last. It's crazy. Don't get me wrong, every relationship is different. Some people really do ascribe strictly to "gender roles" and it works for them, and good for them, but I think the majority should be more like you and your boyfriend, treating each other equally.

    • Yes so agreed.
      He is human and I am human. There's nothing more relatable than that.
      If people just simplified things a bit more, everything would make more sense.

      We both work for our money and unlike most couples we know, we are completely comfortable paying for one another when needed and helping each other out without a problem or an owing. When that person is your best friend, it's muuuchhh easier. Trust me.

      Girls who expect the guy to pay all the time should not be in a relationship, in my opinion. Like the girl in that video "he's the gentleman here" .. yeah okay, and so what is your role then? To offer him sex in a snap, cook, clean, etc (just like the guy in the video mentioned)? You need to distribute roles equally.

  • Agreed, Dutch is always the best way to go, regardless if there's going to be another date or not.

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  • Make a simple meal at home. That'll cut out unexpected expenses in your date.

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    • Not sure I'd do that on a first date though I love to cook, b/c if it doesn't work out or he turns out to be a weirdo, they know where you live. Ick!

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    • Yea but too many people opt for the factory "ready made" foods, which are full of chemicals that destroy nutrients and harm the body. Also, I have tested this myself, buying food and cooking from scratch is way cheaper than buying frozen or microwave meals. Tastes so much better too!

      If you are interested I suggest the book "Cooked" by Micheal Pollen.

    • @genuinlysensitive I have Netflix. So, I just watch the documentary series. :P

  • I bet most of the people on this post didn't even bother to read it and just went down to leave an ignorant comment.

    What the take is saying that no gender should be obligated to pay because this is the 21st century and gender roles are changing.

    Now with my relationship personally, my boyfriend was taught to at least offer to pay because he believes in being a decent human being. When I first met him I didn't have a job at the time so he paid for my meal. It was kind for him to do so. I would do the same if he couldn't afford him. I am dating the person and not his paycheck.

    A woman paying for her man's date or a man paying for his woman's date is not sexist unless you expect for he or she to pay. That is when it becomes sexist.

    Ultimately it is up to the couple to decide for themselves who should pay and who should not.

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  • In my country not only a man is expected to pay but it is considered a deal breaker if he didn't.

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    • thats just sexism.

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    • What does it take to convert out of curiosity?

    • @genuinlysensitive
      Nothing really. If you believe in one god and that jesus is his messenger then you are already a Muslim.

  • go dutch. that way if you don't like the date, you can both walk away feeling ok.

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  • Men should pay at least if they are real men and gentlemen. I'm so happy that in my country guys pay for all the date

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    • Same as here. I guess it's a cultural thing which is great :)

    • @desidoll Yes, I'm just happy I live in France and not in usa :)

  • You just decide among yourselves. The guy can pay, the girl can pay or you split. Just talk about it in advance so it will not be a discussion at the table.

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