It's Perfectly Fine to Flirt with a Girl/Guy Who Has a Boyfriend/Girlfriend

I'm writing this take because I keep seeing questions related to asking out, hitting on, etc. with someone who has a SO already.

I also keep seeing responses like: "no, it's never ok to ask a girl If she's interested, if she has a boyfriend", and "no, she's committed to whoever she's with, and you'll sound desperate"

Sorry, but I call BS. Now, I'm not saying it's okay to help someone cheat. However, many girls and guys are just dating someone until someone better comes along. Or, for whatever reason they find you more attractive potentially.

Are either of you horrible people if she breaks up with her boyfriend for you? No, Christ that's life. It's better for both her and the guy she's dating. Now the guy she is with may indeed be her soulmate, or what have you, and she'll likely just flat out tell you no in most cases. No harm done most of the time, if that's what happens.

"Oh, but she'll just dump you like she did the other guy when something better comes." Maybe, but same situation. Ultimately, you weren't the right fit for each other if that happens.

You only live once, as far as I know. If you find someone you think could go somewhere; I'd go ahead and ask them if they are interested. Or ask them if they ever break up with their SO to get a hold of you.

Keep in mind, there is no telling the reaction. But that's the case no matter if they are single or not, so I'd say go for it.

Short take, but please leave your comments.


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What Girls Said 5

  • I disagree. I won't flirt with men in relationships and definitely not married men. That's just wrong and it's not how I was raised in my family.

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    • Never said anything about married people. I am talking about people that may have a bf/gf. There is nothing wrong with showing interest, but not cheating. Also, I personally hate when people say "that's not the way I was raised." Good for you being raised in a family that gave a shit. Does that make you superior or something?

    • No it means that I have values. I understand other people have different values. You don't think it's wrong but I do. You're not going to change my mind about it. I certainly won't date a man who thinks its ok to flirt with people in committed relationships.

  • I agree. She/he can either shut you down or go along with it. If they go along with it, that's on them. Nobody can ever "take somebody away" from somebody else, they must want to be taken. Just never get serious with that type though. If they can do it to current boyfriend/girlfriend they can do it to you.

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  • I disagree. If you break up a couple deliberately, and for that reason (not a good reason, for example if your friend was being abused by their partner and you wanted to help them), then you are a shitty and selfish person.

    Maybe the person who broke up with their partner for you wasn't bothered about that relationship, but I bet the partner they left would be very hurt. If you don't feel even slightly guilty for causing that hurt, then you are a bad person, and you should be ashamed.

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    • Never suggested you should break up a couple deliberately to simply break up the couple, that's called being a sociopath.

      I simply said its okay to express attraction, but not to aid cheating. Yes, the partner would be left hurt. That doesn't make you a shitty person. Should they have really been together? You might as well say, no one should break up if they start dating because feeling will be hurt. That's insane, and makes no sense. You should hardly be ashamed for what I discussed

  • I would agree to an extent but in my personal experience, if I have a long-distance boyfriend and you ask me out to dinner and movies knowing I have a boyfriend, you need to back the fuck off.

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    • Yep, and that's perfectly Fina as long as you make that apparant. This isn't about fixing yourslfef on someone, etc. it's just about seeing if their is interest

    • Wow, I mis spelt a lot there. I meant to say, this isn't about forcing yourself on someone, just seeing if they're interested.

    • ...*back the fuck off unless you're taller than my boyfriend*

  • agree

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What Guys Said 4

  • I'm not sure. I think I wouldn't want to. But then I didn't when a girl I met (who later became a friend) had a boyfriend, and now she is single, I struggle to make my attraction clear. So it's kinda like am i friendzoned?

    How do I tell her in this case? I mean can you convey a sense of attraction (physical given you have complimented her personality and had light flirting which she likes) to make it more sexual?

    Can u check out my friend's question pls? I dunno how to answer it and frankly wish I was in that situation!
    www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q2055890-is-this-normal-for-a-flirty-friendship-between-a-guy-woman

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  • its still wrong to me. i wouldn't trust a guy or girl wgo does stuff like that. no honor

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    • To cheat maybe no honor, to flirt is I think fairly innocent

    • still. seems to me like someone with boundary issues

  • I knew a guy who used to think like this. His jaw was broken for hitting on someone's girlfriend, even after he knew she had a boyfriend.

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  • Do you think this "it's ok to flirt notion " also applies to those that are married?

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    • I think breaking up a marriage is a different story, especcially if there are kids involved. Think about it. Married people may been married a long time. It's not necessarily that they don't love their spouse, or like you more. It's that you are new and exciting, as opposed to the person they have lived with for years. You might be able to get them, only for them to realize they hate themselves for it a few months later.

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