Top 5 Reasons Why Women Don’t Want Clingy Men

[Puppylove94]

I decided to share some thoughts I’ve had about some of the guys I’ve recently talked to. A lot of them have had very clingy tendencies- I tend to date older which may play a factor in that. They could be in a rush to settle down and start their life.

Anyways, here are the 5 things the make a guy seem clingy in my eyes and why it is unattractive to me.

1) I like my space

I don’t appreciate a guy who needs to always be by my side or doesn’t have his own life. I have my own friends, family and life- I don’t plan on losing that just because I enter into a relationship.

2) Jealousy: The Green-Eyed Monster

When a guy is jealous it is SO unattractive to me. It shows a lack of confidence. If I am in a relationship with you, it’s because I want to be. I have guy friends and they will remain a part of my life.

3) Always needs reassurance

This is probably one of the most frustrating things for me. I can be affectionate, but I tend to be stubborn. If you try to make me be affectionate- it will just push me more away. Once again- if you’re in a relationship with someone you should be confident in it. Affection comes at the right times- you can’t push it or constantly need it.

If i'm spending time all of my time with you, obviously i like you and think you're attractive. Im not going to tell you that every second of every day.

4) Blowing up my phone

When a guy needs to text me every second of every day or makes me tell him where I am all the time it shows a lack of trust and makes it seem like he doesn’t have a life. The point of a relationship is to combine 2 worlds and not make my world, yours.

5) Talking about the future WAY too early

I tend to do this too because I think ahead. However, I’ve had guys make me take a step back by how forward they are. On tinder, I have met some guys that call me their girl, ask how many kids I plan on having or talk about meeting their family when we’ve just been on one date… That just looks desperate.

[99percentangel]

Same reasons why guys don't like women who are clingy. You know? Clingy is clingy and it doesn't matter the gender. Lol regardless of that, great take.

[Fathoms77]

I'd say those are a lot MY reasons why I don't want clingy women. ;)

Clingy is clingy, regardless of gender, and I've never liked it.

[Puppylove94]

Very true. It could have gone either way

[DancingGirl]

True! I'm just a little clingy :/ 😳

[bloodmountain1990]

Yep, it seems like a double standard. When I was telling some people about this girl hitting me up every day and throwing a fit when I couldn't hang out but offered to reschedule or another day, people are like dude go have sex with her or say she's into you.

There's a little more to it than that but all I know is if I acted the way she did towards any women, that'd ruin my chances completely.

[AriadneSky]

honesrtly i like clingy guys. as long as i can have my spscewhen i want which i can. just bc a person wants to be with you all the time doesn't mean thery have to or have bo control ovcer themseklcves. i measn it just requyires yuou saaying can't im busy. if he's human hell understand. i think you mean you dont liuke fatal attraction stalker bvoil your bunny can't reason with clingy.

but just regular clingy is harmless and in my opinion its sweet. id much rather a guy want me all the time then be acting like he's too cool to sow he cares or be neurotic like 99% iof guys on here constantly trying to prove they are not clingy treating their gfs like shit then coming on gag talking about how well its going how they are not coming off as clingy. i just like a guy whos not afraid to be affectionate and can be honest about how he feels. i al;so dont think 'clingy;' is a disease. i think it ebbs and flows and when people first fall in love or get blown away they really want each other all the time. it just shows passion. now want and do are different things. so i dont mind, i welcome the feeling. as long as he can control it. which mot people can. most people are clingy and hide it. bc what else is being in love. its not a business merger. you're drawn chemically connected attached. love hormones clinging to receptor sites. i

think shame is way worse than clingy. most people obsess over how not to be clingy or write takes on how they dont like clingy proving indirectly how they themselves are not. why tell someone else to be disingenuine. if you're not feeling it you're not feeling it. so you can leave him. its not right to expect someone to be fake just so you can feel like its 'working'.

when two people really are feeling it there's a clingy quality to it. big deal. i say if you're in love be in love. the feeling dissipates quickly enough. like life. its ironic how much energy people spend trying not to feel all the things we feel in life. women are not emotional like other women men are not emotional like women men are not crazy like other men... you prove you can be close to a machine, then life's over. thats it. im not saying you're advocating not living life to its fullest. i just notice a lot of posts ten to be on how to be as little of your human self as possible for highest success rate.. success in what exactly. living like you're half dead.

im actually kind of envious of people who can just love fully and honestly without worrying about whats too much,.

[AriadneSky]

its so hard for me to feel things fully i just think its such a gift.

i do think its horrible when anyone woman or man acts in complete dismissal of your feelings or boundaries. but that can happen with a clingy person or an aloof person or an asshole or a nice guy or anyone in between. i think as long as there's mutual respect, the rest of the adjectives dont pose a threat. and differences can be sorted out effectively and kindly :)

peopler are never just one way. i think the titles like clingy come mostly from incomplete communication,. if you communicate with a so called clingy person and they pull out a different side of themselves, then they are not a clingy person, they just behaved in a certain way at one point. we have many different sides.

we are not one behavior. the people who encounter problems are those who can not be flexible. its not so important to be able to #BE not clingy , as it is important to be able to #BE many many other things. in my opinion.

:-)

[mwin2030]

Really well said. There is much in what you've said I find true.

[AriadneSky]

@mwin2030

Thank you :-)

[mwin2030]

You're most welcome! :)

[Tteller]

No love without jealousy. And truthfully. Less than 5% of the world are honest. You won't find someone to love you that won't be jealous.
But in all seriousness. Honest men need women to say "I don't like clingy men". Most women who say this are extreme extroverts and don't have much security about them. The same kind of women who are up with fashion and use words like "tacky". Honest men need to know who to avoid the wrong women. And these are tell tale signs to honest men. I've met thousands of men and women. I've known many personally. All together, I've know or worked with about 5 men that don't brag about cheating. Who never would. And I'm sorry to say. If they don't feel like life with you is a bonus, they don't want you. If you said even one time, "I don't like clingy guys". And they don't like strangers. Sure they get along and cooperate with them just fine. But they want to know they can talk to someone. We all get saggy and nasty in the end. Friends die, family dies or goes away. So a partner is also an investment. If a guy is tryna figure out if you are this investment. Do you really think he's gonna want to keep his distance. Or is he gonna test you to see if he can be bothered spending time with you, expressing love, without wanting to rip your face off.

[LZXuan]

Finally someone here who knows what to say!

[ParamountArmada]

if you dont like guys who are clingy then you will be alone for the rest of your life. and will never have a guy. or have a guy for long.
clinginess means a person actually wants you. if your a person who doesn't like that then that means your immature and just want to screw around.
so if you like space dont get a guy, or friends, and be alone.
so its more like "Top 5 Reasons Why Women Don’t Have Men For Long"
answer: women are too conceited, and have a backward set mind in how relationships work.

[Puppylove94]

Okay sure lol

[bloodmountain1990]

That's bullshit. If clingy was normal, then it wouldn't be called clingy.

Clingy just means a person has no life of their own and expects their date to have no life of their own. You can still contact someone without smothering them.

Think about it this way. You enjoy the friends you have, but do you need to see them/contact them every day to reassure that they're your friends?

[ParamountArmada]

@bloodmountain1990 your girlfriend should be your first priority not your friends. so if you expect your friends to be first than you dont deserve a girlfriend.
clingy is normal, its just another term to describe someones passion for another, its just certain folks dont care about whats really special in life- a significant other of the opposite gender.
friendship eventually fades away, love doesn't.

[Puppylove94]

@redeyemindtricks did I good job of explaining what independence is in a relafionship. Hopefully she'll link it here and You can learn a few things

[redeyemindtricks]

Here ya go
www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q2064143-do-you-find-independence-attractive

[peterjones]

Why do you think opposite sex feels any different - and what exactly is your question here? Or was it just a need for a bit of expression and validation, to share the most boring stereotype with the world so you feel you said something smart?
I would take a cute clingy girl any day - and most nice girls would for a guy they really like too. Would the clingy-ness itself be attractive - probably not, but that is far too obvious to write this much about - so what's your point?

[Puppylove94]

Lol you didn't have to read it.

[peterjones]

Just skimmed - but still struck me as pointless, sorry.

[bloodmountain1990]

I agree with this and it goes both ways. In fact, I ended it with a girl because she was acting super clingy and insecure. I find it funny when I see guys who say oh man I wish I had a clingy girlfriend. They say that, until it actually happens.
All in all, it's not a black and white thing. It's not either the guy/girl is a flake or a stage five clinger. There is middle ground.

Sometimes there is pressure of just not trying to appear clingy though. Sometimes when you like someone and it's early on, you wanna keep in contact but at the same time you don't wanna seem overly interested and you're the one doing all the work.

[rosey_bananas]

I like clingy. Especially jealous (to a reasonable degree) and blowing up my phone. To me it shows that he cares. But I am also a clingy person. As long as you find someone who feels the same way as you (both are clingy or both are not clingy) I don't think either one is a problem. It's just whatever works for each person.

[hexsnowflake]

me too, i'm the same and i like when my boyfriend is attached to me. Almost 5 years and going strong. He stays with me through thick and thin and he does give me my space when needed

[Touchmehxx]

Exactly like me

[mwin2030]

I like your view here. There is much about it I agree with.

[rjroy3]

I've dated multiple girl that said the same thing initially, yet when we got together they kept saying they wish they saw me more, got jealous over female friends of mine. Blew up my phone randomly and brought up the idea of marriage within the first 2 - 4 months. It'd be really cool to meet a girl that actually means it, when they say they feel this way. 👍

[Anonymous]

You've used the incorrect title for your MyTake. It should read "Top 5 reasons why I don't want clingy men". You don't speak for all women, there are women who like "clingy" men. I don't know why as I agree with each point you've raised, but it's a case of different strokes for different folks.

[AriadneSky]

True.

[yucel_eden]

I think these are the petty stuff that the women is aware of.

The major reason, of which women do on an uncouncious level, hence not usually knowing. Is that they want what they can't have (aka they want someone who is wanted by other girls). The reason is a lot women treat it as a competition.

So when a guy is clingy, he's too easy and doesn't seem like a trophy or someone to cherish or brag about to her friends.

[yucel_eden]

But nice and valid take.

Before other girls jump the gun I know not all girls are the same

[Puppylove94]

completely agree with you. everyone wants a challenge.

[rosey_bananas]

I do know clingy guys that are very popular / desired by other girls, though. Some guys just get more emotional than others.

[yucel_eden]

@rosey_bananas I don't think they are clingy.

They are confident patient and persistent, I think it's different things.

[rosey_bananas]

True, but I am also talking about jealous with other guys and gets mad when you don't text back within 30 mins lol.

[peachblossomluck]

Not only is this dead on psychologically accurate but these clingy people can turn into stalkers and abusers. Anyone that needy, there is something in the way their mind works that isn't right or healthy.

[1GuyOpinion]

This apply to both gender I believe. Clingy and neediness is a turnoff for everyone.

[Puppylove94]

It does apply to both.. But apparently some people like it haha that's what some people commented

[1GuyOpinion]

They might like it at first, but I find it hard to believe that one would not get sick of their bf/gf be around them 24 hours a day, 7 day a week. Too much of anything is bad lol xD

[Puppylove94]

Completely agree

[iCroissant]

What is "clingy?" I mean obviously 16 messages is obsessive 😂, but should we just ask how clingy to be, or just guess how clingy we should be until she says we're too clingy or too distant? That's kind of a weird lame thing to ask but I guess we have to because it varies girl to girl.

[Puppylove94]

Good point. Clingy in my opinion is when I say I'm busy but then you keep pushing to hang out or meet up with me. It's fine if you text me a few times back to back cause it means you're thinking of me. But don't text me more than 5 times lol a little excessive.
A little jealousy is okay... But it's important to not look insecure

[iCroissant]

Oh okay. So basically ignoring your gf's pleas of " leave me alone for _____ time

[bloodmountain1990]

Nope, everyone needs their space and that goes for both parties. You can still date someone and still hang out with your friends and enjoy your own hobbies.

Wanting to be with someone is not clingy, but wanting to be with someone 24/7 whether it's in person or through texting and getting jealous, upset about not seeing someone everyday or not respecting their personal time is.

[dudeman]

You date dudes on tinder. You're better looking than me and I just pick up chicks at the grocery store.

[Puppylove94]

I actually just recently deleted it lol but I'm shy and not many guys approach me

[dudeman]

i have a hard time believing dudes dont approach you.

[Puppylove94]

They don't lol If they're able to approach me in a specific situation they generally will. But I've never been approached at the grocery store, library, or gym

[dudeman]

i usually pick up the cashiers at the grocery store. every now an then another customer. a few waitresses.

[dudeman]

picked up a girl waiting for the light rail. picked up a girl on the amtrak once. picked up a girl while walking to the grocery store. picked up a girl at a blockbuster when those still existed. in all honesty I've only been rejected twice once in first grade and once as a sophomore in college. the second time i didn't know what was going on so i just stood there like a retard looking at her thinking she misspoke.

[Puppylove94]

Hahah that's funny. Yeah I probably don't make myself very accessible. Like I said im pretty reserved at first, would you walk up to a girl like that?

[dudeman]

definitely id think she was a good girl. I've dated a few women like that and it takes a bit for them to open up. its sweet.

[Puppylove94]

Hmm well most guys don't have your balls lol

[dudeman]

i guess not. im old fashioned like that. i think its because i have moved so much as a kid that i just got good at talking to random people. i went to 12 different elementary schools. you get good at making friends. as i got older i just got less interested in talking to other men lol.

[Anonymous]

I don't agree with 2). Guys just like father's no what goes on in the minds of other men. Hence, why old school fathers tend to give girls boyfriend a hard time.

A guy being jealous of your male friend means he feels threaten enough that he might pose as a serious competitor for you to cheat on him with. It's no different if a guy was still GOOD FRIENDS with his EX.

[Puppylove94]

It means he's insecure too. If I'm with a guy I'm not thinking of one of my guy friends like that, and if I was I wouldn't be with my SO. You need to be able to trust in your relationship

[feminismisnarcissism]

exactly what @Puppylove94 said. To suggest what this user said is pretty sexist and objectifying-as though women have no say in the matter-it's just up to the men-also very insecure as he obviously doesn't think he's enough to hold her attention. I would only be concerned if the guy friend is getting better attention... but I wouldn't get jealous, I'd end it as that's just weird. Likewise, I have female friends and find they are useful in keeping close to out a jealous girl, a controlling girl-they always tell me to get rid of that friend/s within 4-6 weeks and I end it if they do. And why do I end it? Because I'm very clear she (the g/f) has my #1 spot on attention, etc... but my #2 spot is always a female friend and I don't cheat. So I expect the same behavior/situation-they can have guy friends but I should be special among the guys (and girls really) and have their attention-as long as that's true, no problemo.

[Opinion Owner]

@feminismisnarcissism Lol who is objectifying. It's essentially giving her warning of a concern you have and putting boundaries on relationship. I mean come on is it objectifying if a building is burning down and you tell your women to not go in the building. No. It's you leading as a man and putting your concern for the safety of your loved one first.

Also i'm not saying do this for every guy friend she has. Your conclusion is really weird and not logical. This is when you suspect a guy friend is a threat. And if you had relationship experience you'd realize that women have back up men some of whom they love even more so than their ex and could be a friend you've come in contact with.

https://i.imgur.com/fTBWjsa.jpg

This whole notion of being blind to a very serious threat to your relationship could essentially lead you to getting dumped/played/cucked by other men. Especially if said guy can get into her head and make her think your a shitty boyfriend due to past transgression.

[feminismisnarcissism]

well... i don't worry about it and take a different approach: Make yourself impossible to substitute. Be the best lover they ever will have and then you cuck every future guy instead, when she's thinking about YOU when he's trying to fuck her...

I get your statistics but you're still giving her no credit and acting the victim-ie that nothing is in your hands, and it's rather something you have to control from the OUTSIDE of the relationship and that's no good in my opinion.

[Opinion Owner]

@feminismisnarcissism

1. Unless u are the best or in top 20% of male in her state there will always be someone better. Especially seeing she has easier access to get these men via tinder.

'I get your statistics but you're still giving her no credit and acting the victim-ie that nothing is in your hands, and it's rather something you have to control from the OUTSIDE of the relationship and that's no good in my opinion."

2. This is doing something. Not doing something is your advice of keeping your head in the sand and not putting boundaries. I just finished a length convo with some guys who agreed that men who don't put women in their place and set boundaries in relationship lose respect from her. You lose respect and you lose attraction.

[feminismisnarcissism]

setting boundaries about other people? That one is a no-brainer: If she doesn't know where the boundary is on OTHER PEOPLE, hint: SHE'S NOT A KEEPER. You dump her. That's how you set that boundary.

[Opinion Owner]

@feminismisnarcissism Setting boundaries of what you'll tolerate including concerns (because guy can see it better than women) of a guy who obviously wants more than a friendship with your girl and might be undermining the relationship.

Yeah if we go about. If she doesn't know the boundaries proceed to dump no guy would have a wife/gf. Women do something call shit test where they test to see how far you'd let them get away with shit.

[lovelywiz]

I think it's because it's annoying and embarrassing

[Puppylove94]

What is?

[lovelywiz]

Clingy boys

[ginny_weasley]

I agree with this my take on so many levels. I think the biggest reason is that I just like my independence.

[singlebee]

I think both men and women don't like clingy bfs/gfs...
So nothing new in your take

[Puppylove94]

Haha apparently not. Some of the comments disagree

[singlebee]

Yeaa I mean some people don't mind being clingy for sure but majority will be freaked out if their partner is clingy :-P Lol

[HarvestMoon]

I would say goes both ways. Guys hate clingy girls for these exact reasons also. Good take.

[Puppylove94]

True true

[annie2016]

I think the writer of this is a girl. This is mostly want men says.
I myself a bit clingy but I am also flexible. I want my SO to be doing all those things to me maybe not too much but its all okay for me.

[slimstiffy]

These are all good reasons and i agree with all, exept the friends thing. I dont believe in guy-girl platonic friendships.
Im not one of those guys that does that. So i won't be with a girl who has "guy-friends" either.

[Puppylove94]

I have tons of guys as friends... How is that a bad thing? I actually think that makes a girl way more down to earth