What Did They Mean? Translating 5 Common Rejections

This take is the culmination of three arduous minutes of me staring off into space while eating my lunch outside, taking a break from all the work that I was supposed to do but instead didn't because I wanted to spin around in a rolley-chair and wander around on the top of my office building.

Both genders often spew crap to a member of the other gender that they're not particularly interested in, but don't know how to say it without sounding like a bitch/jerk and without feeling a crushing sense of guilt afterwards. So to avoid this awkwardness, they lie to try to lesson the blow but by doing so leave the other person confused. Soooo, here I am to demystify some of these obfuscating and equivocal phrases into plain English that every person can understand.

1) I wish I could find a guy/girl just like you.

Translation: I wish I could find a guy/girl with your good qualities but none of your bad qualities, which, I'm sorry to say, far outweigh your good qualities to the point where I'm not attracted to you, whatsoever.

2) It's not you, it's me.

Translation: It's both, really. See, it's me in the sense that I'm not attracted to you. And it's you in the sense that you're just not attractive. You've got some repulsive qualities about you that I just can't deal with.

3) I'm just not looking for a relationship right now.

Translation: I'm totally looking for a relationship with the right person, aaaaand that just ain't you. Not even close.

4) You'll find someone, don't worry.

Translation: You're gonna have to settle for far less than what you think you deserve, orrrr wait forever and hope you get lucky. Either way, you're in for a bumpy fuckin ride.

5) We can always be friends.

Translation: This is my consolation prize to you. I don't really want to be your friend because it's gonna be awkward as fuuuuuck but I can't be a total dick/bitch here. You're gonna be secretly wanting to get with me and hangout while I'm gonna be secretly not interested in you and gonna make you a small priority compared to my actual friends. I'm hoping you just decline so we can both avoid this clusterfuck of a situation we have.

So there you go; five commonly used phrases we hear thrown around like a drunk slut at a frat party spelled out in no uncertain terms.

Disclaimer: This was partly, like 20% satirical, okay maybe 30%....35%, we'll say 60% satirical and 40% cold, raw, dirty, stinky, down in the gutter, beaten with a bamboo stick truth. If I've in the slightest way offended anyone's delicate feelings, then that's cool; these things happen.


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What Girls Said 6

  • 3mo

    I started reading this take fully expecting to be offended, but I'm not. Not at ALL. This is 100% truth.

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  • 3mo

    #4 isn't true for me and # is debatable.

    Agree with the rest.

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    • 3mo

      #3 is debatable*

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    • 3mo

      I clearly said in my answer that it isn't true "for me". I never said anything about how others feel (or disagreed with the take for that matter)

    • 3mo

      Looks like someone is too sensitive

  • 3mo

    Unfortunately I have said #5 to someone and learned the hard way never to say that again. The schmuck used it against me to try to bother me to hang out and try to get back together. He was a psycho. Don't say this to someone because they may take it and run with it:(

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  • 3mo

    Lol, all true. 🙈

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  • 3mo

    Sounds about right.

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  • 3mo

    I read all of this, I promise. However, I love your first paragraph. 😂

    I'm sure this myTake will help clear up any confusion for many people in the dating scene. Short, sweet, and to the point!

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What Guys Said 17

  • 3mo

    Isn't 1) really i wish i could find a guy with your good qualities but who i found physically attractive

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    • 3mo

      Or it could be I'm an idiot and dont know what I want even if it was right there in front of me staring me right in the face. These do not have to be interpreted by the rejected party as though they are the party at fault or the one with issues. Rather it is a much healthier approach to see the rejector as the one with issues and to move on completely. If a person is dwelling on how and why they were rejected and didn't meet the other persons standards and viewing that person as though they are too good for them and they believe they are beneath them... well yeah that is the worst way to look at the whole thing. That just leads to a lot of uneccesary insecurtiy.

    • 3mo

      @Pacificblue62 It means i wish i could find a very musclar jock alpha male who doesn't verball and physically abuse me and who has nice personality traits.

    • 3mo

      Yes that's what they along the lines of what they are saying. But they are clearly the one with issues. No guy should want to waste their time and energy on a chick who is a bit messed in the head like this and say this extremely tacky line. Rather they should consider it a blessing in disguise and know there is way better out there and they chose wrong.

  • 3mo

    Don't know how much I agree with the take, but I love the disclaimer!

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  • 3mo

    Good list - I was thinking

    2. "It's not you, it's me. I don't like you!"

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  • 3mo

    Disheartening.

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  • 3mo

    I've gotten #4 so many times lol

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  • 3mo

    i m looking for somenoe else = i want someone who has more money than u :p

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  • 3mo

    and when i guy says "ok, call me" it means don't call me lol

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  • 3mo

    03) IE - im fucking this guy, this other guy and you may be next in line if you dont turn me off and oh, dont even get angry at me for this or call me slut, im a strong indipendent woman i just like collecting dicks like shoes
    - my experience -

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  • 3mo

    I'm ugly so I have no chance in hell.

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  • 3mo

    Good one.

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  • 3mo

    Seems to be the truth from what I've experienced lol

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  • 3mo

    I just walk away and keep looking. There are way more women in the world than men.

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  • 3mo

    Well said. Right on here 👍🏻.

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  • 3mo

    Awesome!

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  • 3mo

    Mostly agree with whats said here but Im currently in an evironment where almost everyone around me is an English as second language speaker and these underlying meanings aren't there for most of them. I made the mistake of believing 'I like you but not now' was a total rejection however she was being litteral (meaning not this WEEK!) she had no idea she had implied otherwise. A few other experiences too but long story short: if not a native English speaker there's a chance it is litteral (but dont go pinning your hopes on it)

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  • 3mo

    If this doesn't serve as a form of negative motivation, I dont know what does. Of course there is another alternative. Take what they say literally and dont really care enough to interpret what exactly what they mean. Have the attitude. Hey if you didn't say exactly what you mean to me, I'm just going to assume what you said is what you mean and I dont care enough to think otherwise. I'm not out to give you brownie points for being nice and trying to make yourself look better or faking something.

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    • 3mo

      Very true, the most important part is did they say yes or did they say no... If they said no, that's all that matters.. Who cares about the reasons.. Move on to someone else. But I assume this serves a purpose for the clueless hopeless romantics out there who believe whatever anyone tells them and will stick by someone who clearly doesn't feel the same way about them.

    • 3mo

      @Kkaos I see what you are saying. The kind of people out there who clearly got straight up rejected and they try to twist the words to a yes. Like you pointed out I believe in the opposite approach which I think most people should take. If you get rejected take it as a no and don't wonder why. Just move on. If you are able to be friends be friends if not cut all ties and be done with it. Overthinking a rejection never does any good. Those who rejected you will have more respect for you if you are able to emotionessly walk away from the whole thing and act like it never happened and was no big deal. Not drawing attention to it or caring how they feel.

  • 3mo

    Hmm...

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