How And When To Ask Someone Out

Here is my second Take for this week's #BATTLEROYALE, which is about sex, dating and relationships. These tips were originally written for girls, but I adapted a few of them here for guys. Truth be told, I have written this before, but in Opinions, never in one place or as a myTake. So now, here it is for easy bookmarking and reference, all in one place.

Look for subtle signs of interest before initiating.

How And When To Ask Someone Out

For girls, I just wrote a myTake about this, check it out. Guys, see if she smiles, is open, but also if she seeks you out for conversation, or if she tries to get your attention when you might not particularly be seeking it. If you look at her and she returns your glances with a smile, it is a very good sign.

Make sure your target is available.

Ask them what they did the previous weekend. Give them opportunities to mention a significant other. It is important to know whether the other person is available. Sometimes they'll speak of a nonexistent other just to make their disinterest known. If that happens, respect it and move on.

Break the Personal Space Barrier.

If you are a girl approaching a guy, get closer to him than you would with someone you aren't into. Smile a lot when you talk. Nothing generates sexual energy quite like proximity.

Test the air to make sure she's comfortable with you.

When a guy is nervous with a girl, he probably likes her. If a girl is nervous with a guy, she probably is uncomfortable with him. Approach each woman as though she perceives every strange new man as a potential rapist. If she seems nervous around you, back off. Be aloof; show less interest. Give her more opportunity to discover you for herself.

Say something nice

"I like your tie" or "those are nice shoes," but not something physical, like "I like you smile" or "you have nice hair" See if he or she is receptive or creeped out before going further.

Tell him you appreciate his good qualities

"You're so funny" or "you're so sweet" etc. Respond to the things he does in honest ways but also ways that don't demand any response. If that works out well and doesn't freak him out...

Tell him you like him

Don't tell him you love him. Just let him know you appreciate him and that doesn't require any obligation on his part. If he's still smiling...

Look for common interests

Find some common activity you both enjoy and ask him to do things.


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What Girls Said 3

  • 3mo

    i'm nervous when i like a guy. which makes me uncomfortable but him backing off will make me more uncomfortable bc ill think being nervous turned him off. as long as he's not trying to fuck me he doesn't need to back off for me to be 'comfortable' :-)

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  • 3mo

    good advice you have there

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  • 3mo

    This is some nice, solid, advice anyone can follow. I like it.

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    • 3mo

      Don't lie to him. You're not helping him or anyone else by lying

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    • 3mo

      @HulkkSmash she right

    • 3mo

      @HulkkSmash

      Excellent advice! A lot of guys will get pissed off when you lie tot them. You think you protecting their feeling but you're actually being a jerk for not being honest and upfront.

What Guys Said 11

  • 3mo

    I disagree. I strongly believe in the mathematical approach. The way I see it is that you should just ask as many attractive girls out as possible until one is bound to say yes. No matter what strategy we adopt, men are going to be at a disadvantage from the get-go so we need to be mathematical about it.

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    • 3mo

      Starting a lot of relationships that can't possibly work is going to lead to two worlds of hurt.

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    • 3mo

      @Doyoueven No, I don't know that. I wish I had said "it will lead to many worlds of hurt, including your own."

    • 3mo

      @Doyoueven Maybe it is the case but he seems pretty serious about this in his Takes.

  • 3mo

    And if no attractive looking girl shows interest in you etc? That's when you should go for it anyway, one life, you should never accept average.

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  • 3mo

    Nice take - Some good advice there for people.

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  • 3mo

    steve buscemi is good looking as fuck till his eyes are visible LMFAOO

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  • 3mo

    everyone who did this still said no

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  • 3mo

    I don't know what's up with people, are they taking this battle too seriously or what? . This is great take.

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  • 3mo

    "If a girl is nervous with a guy, she probably is uncomfortable with him. Approach each woman as though she perceives every strange new man as a potential rapist."

    This sounds absurd to me. Most girls I ended up dating were obviously nervous around me at first. I'm fairly attractive, though. Perhaps women react much differently to guys who are just average-looking.

    I ain't trying to humblebrag, which is why I've gone anon here.

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  • 3mo

    "When a guy is nervous with a girl, he probably likes her. If a girl is nervous with a guy, she probably is uncomfortable with him." can't agree with this.

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  • 3mo

    It's funny because if a guy does all this stuff to a girl she probably just thinks he's friendly.

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    • 3mo

      Yeah I have had a guy do all these things to me when I thought he liked me at first. This gave me an aha moment way too late... Girls question and think about things too much for a guy she likes to be so timid. We're used to the guys we don't like coming up and being I our space, so when a guy we like doesn't do that, we're like whaaaatttt?

  • 3mo

    Didn't the guy in the first pic get killed by a shot gun?

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  • 3mo

    This is a horrible list.

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