Why You Should Let the Man Chase You

1. Men are hunters

It is a biological instinct that men are hunters and want to hunt/or seek out their prey. They also have an instinct to comfort/take care of their loved ones. This being said, allowing a man to do what he is meant to do, which is chase- seems natural.

2. You always want what you can't have

Let's be honest, you want that brand new Porcshe, knowing that perhaps within your financial bracket it is unattainable. You research it, spend time, effort, and maybe even money to go to shows to see!

3. Easy come, easy go

If something pops into your life, without you having to work for it, you will be more inclined to not take it seriously or appreciate it, and let it go...

4. The harder you work for something, the more fortunate you feel when you attain it

The harder you work for what you want, and the harder it is, the more you are going to appreciate it. Let's say you work nights and weekends, long hours just to spend $300 on a brand new pair of jeans that you've wanted for a long time- you are going to take care of them and wear them out for special occassions, unlike spending $10 on a pair that you don't care about.

5. There is something to be said about the traditional ways of dating

Divorce rates are higher than ever. People break up over silly things, and don not want to commit. There is something about not sleeping around, and working for your relationship to make things last.


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What Guys Said 79

  • I will politely disagree with this MYTAKE and HERE IS WHY. Having a man chase you because you think we are hunters is outrageous. When you play hard to get it confuses guys on whether or not you like them. Its really that simple. Guys are turned on by women that like them and show an interest. Men don't want to chase women... they want a woman who is high value. So simply ask yourself in the moment is this what a woman of high value acts like when you are playing the GAME OF HARD TO GET.

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  • ok, so using your logic...

    2. The girl won't want the guy who chases her because she knows she can have him. Instead you will spread you legs for the player who couldn't give less of a fuck about you because you want what you can't have.

    3. Since the guy is chasing the girl, he is coming to the girl without her having to work for him so the guy won't be taken seriously or appreciated.

    4. Once again, since she isn't working to get the guy she won't appreciate him or feel fortunate to be with him.

    5. The girls who describe themselves as traditional are often only value the traditions that benefit them. You like the traditions of the guy having to make the first move, pay for dates, and earn mlre than you, but you would scoff at a man who expects you to dress modest, have a low number of sexual partners, or cook for him.

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  • Why you should never chase a girl:

    1) There's thousands of better girls out there, don't waste your time.

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  • i for one will not chase a girl

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  • sooo basically women should not be as invested in the relationship as the man since presumably he worked a lot harder for it?

    lol this seems like it was written just to rile up men

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    • She didn't say that at all. She wants the guy to initiate the relationship. That doesn't me she's not invested in the relationship.

      I know when I try to initiate a relationship, it never works out. But guys ask me out all the time. Maybe she has some sense in what she's talking about

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    • @Jamesol1 lol, you're right. i nailed her on it. she may hit me back with some BS that attempts to shame me in order to distract me from the fact that she was completely wrong.

      But it's not even fair support since she's 17...

      oh well

    • @Falling4UTC There are also plenty of examples of guys initiating the relationship yet it never works out. Maybe you just suck at courting men, doesn't mean that other women can't be better at it.

  • I'm not chasing a woman that is INTENTIONALLY making actions to run away from me, i'm more valuable than that.

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    • Exactly when its all said and done i rather be by myself forever then to play little games no matter how good she might be. At the end of the day i got my dignity with me, so its all good.

    • @Robertinho unfortunately too many people our age and younger don't value their dignity enough

  • Good. You stand there and wait for the man to do all the chasing.
    He probably will not, because under changes to law that are the result of lobbying by Feminists, simply asking a girl on a date can be a crime. Look up what has been happening in Nottinghamshire, England. That is a beta test for the same sort of law to be rolled out around the Western world.
    Once approaching a woman, or simply speaking to her, or even looking at her, has been criminalised, how many men do you think are going to approach you?
    Approach a woman = risk a career and/or education ending sexual-harassment complaint. If you are in Nottinghamshire, risk an Orwellian thought crime charge.
    Take a woman on a date = risk of a career and/or education ending false rape allegation.
    Have consensual sex = risk a career and/or education ending false rape allegation. There is also the risk of a lifetime of child-support payments.
    So, Miss Anonymous, you keep on insisting that the men make all the moves. As every day passes, you are more likely to have a longer and longer wait.

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  • 1. Applies to women as well. Scientific consensus is that with our early ancestors women, and even children, actively participated in hunting as well. It was only later that division of labor was introduced and scientists believe that that wasn't an instinctive but a rational decision.

    2. Applies to women as well.

    3. Applies to women as well.

    4. Applies to women as well.

    5. Non-sequitur. Why does that mean that the traditional way of dating is superior? Divorce rates may just as well be higher because modern women are more self-sufficient and don't need to stay in a toxic marriage just because they depend on the man's money.

    TL;DR: Woman believes men should work for her, rationalizes it with pseudoscientific arguments.

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  • Spiritually, I can applaud your use of radical psychology - strategically no. You're missing out on a lot great guys (experienced guys almost never chase)...

    Girls who have a "chase me" mentality are not only predictable, but boring; they are the nice guys of the female world.

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  • If you're going by biological instinct then it should be fine for him to cheat on you and chase other girls too. Gotta spread that seed.

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    • Exactly men were designed to spread that seed and women hate it. God I love the double standard, women must hate themselves so much they have project their pain to world by creating feminism lol

    • @mrwoo99 you do realise some people are feminists because they believe in equality, not because they wanna shut guys down?

      Honestly I don't really like feminism because of their strategy. They try to equalise the sexes by only helping the female side. The strategy should be to help women where they are less privledged than men and men where they are less privledged than women (ie. Not winning in court BC of being a man, being falsely accused of rape, etc.)

  • I smell cats in somebody's future.
    And honestly you're putting it is as getting the girl is the goal of mans life lol. Might have been for a caveman, but nowadays work and getting your life's goals are a priority... you're just a byproduct of my free time.

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  • ''The harder you work for something, the more fortunate you feel when you attain it''
    Here is an example of why that is wrong: Tyson Fury spent his life getting a boxing championship title.. he got it and realized it didn't make him feel any happier and he has been suffering with depression the last year.

    For most guys... it makes you think ''hmm was this worth it? Chasing this girl to the end of the earth because she is such an amazing catch. Oh wait she is a phys-co bitch who craves attention and loves mind games. If you think playing hard to get will get you the best possible men for you... keep thinking that because you don't deserve such a thing if you think in such an entitled and ignorant way.

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  • "1. Men are hunters"

    biologically, humans in general are hunters, regardless of gender

    "2. You always want what you can't have"

    this is a really shit reason, op... seriously

    "3. Easy come, easy go"

    uh, k? i disagree, but k...

    "4. The harder you work for something, the more fortunate you feel when you attain it"

    exactly. so why don't YOU work for it then? ;)

    "5. There is something to be said about the traditional ways of dating"

    yeah, not a lot of people WANT to do it anymore...

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  • Since the majority of divorces are initiated by women i dont think this would be a good strategy for long term relationships.

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  • wow, your completely full of shit. Sorry, but if you think your the "catch of all catches", there are many other woman out there that won't play bullshit games. If she is interested, she needs to let me know. I am not a 4 yr old, I don't play games. So if she tries to play games like you, I move on to someone else.
    As far as sex goes, it is important to a relationship. Women bolt on guys as often as the other way around. If she does? well I had a good time and I found someone not worth having around. Plus, I found out a lot faster then dating for a month and having her fuck someone else.
    You took the chicken way out and posted as anonymous. Your already anonymous when you make an account here. So you don't show an age. My guess is your young. When you grow up, you will understand a lot better. Too bad you will have lost a lot of potential partners that might have been better then the one you end up with.

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  • chasing comes under a gray area. By chasing , are you being creepy and stalker-ish or romantic and fun? It can be impossible to tell. I play it safe. If she is playing hard to get then Ill see it as disinterest and stop the chase there.

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  • Making us chase is fine, just be worth it. Don't be a 180lbs, college dropout who has never traveled outside her hometown and has no aspirations - yet expect quality guys to come after you.

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  • 1. Men are hunters

    Historically, men have been smaller and slower than their prey so they generally go out as a hunting party and ambush their prey. So unless you're saying you'd like to be jumped by a group of guys and violently gangraped, I'd rethink this. Just because we might hunt, doesn't mean we don't treat the prey like its a piece of meat.

    2. You always want what you can't have

    Until you get it and realize it wasn't worth the effort in the first place.

    3. Easy come, easy go

    Value isn't attained by how easy it is to get. Its attained by how rare it is. Be rare, not easy.

    4. The harder you work for something, the more fortunate you feel when you attain it

    The harder I work for something the more exhausted I am when I get it and the less I appreciate it because I remember all the shit I had to go through to get it. Courting a girl shouldn't be stressful.

    5. There is something to be said about the traditional ways of dating

    Something tells me you're a fairweather feminist.

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    • 1. Yeah, I agree with this. Usually the males (in wildlife) try to look the best in order to achieve a mate. For example, male parrots are more colorful than female parrots so they attract a mate. They don't hunt them down like they would hunt their next meal. Its weird though, humans are the only species which the women dress to impress the male (with makeup.)

  • I don't pretend to understand the reasoning behind women making men go through hoops just to get her attention and keep it. The whole chasing thing needs to stop. She isn't some prize to obtain, she is a human being and should also treat him like one too as he is not a circus ape. What women need to do is act like proper adults and not children. You really want men to commit? Stop treating them like toilet paper and playing head games.

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    • Exactly they say its always us guys that are bad... well guess what if were bad, what are you girls? Well a hell of a lot worse, such hypocrisy to the fullest.

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What Girls Said 28

  • This entire take boils down to you thinking of yourself and other women are prey / prizes to be won.

    Fuck that. Maybe that works for you, but it sure as hell doesn't for a lot of modern women.

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    • by the way, divorce rates are not higher than ever. They peaked n the 70s and have been steadily declining since...

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    • But many more of which saw people living in unhealthy and unhappy marriages.

      Fewer people are marrying, but those who are marrying are doing it later and with a better idea of who they are and what they want, and are therefore having healthier, happier marriages which are less likely to end in divorce.

    • PIG SLOP!!! Every time you post your comment a load of poop comes out.

  • 1. I disagree. I don't think the hunter-gatherer mentality applies to dating. Especially considering that that sort of setup isn't really relevant in society anymore. Humans adjust according to the surroundings, so I would say that it's not in anyone's *genes* to hunt. You hunt if you have to or specifically want to, and if you don't, you don't. A genetic drive for hunting doesn't really exist in every man.
    2. A pretty broad generalization that certainly doesn't apply to everyone. I know many men who give up if a girl tries to play games or acts hard to get, because they view it as disinterest or lack of maturity (i. e. they don't want to partake in silly mind games).
    3. This will only apply to those who don't really like commitment to begin with. If a guy wants to break up with me simply because I showed interest back in him without playing mind games, then it's clear that he was just in it for the rush of the chase, and not because he actually likes me as a person. If he can't take me seriously because I don't play games, then he's a douche.
    4. Might be true to some extent, but only short term. A person might feel lucky that they got someone, but most people do become comfortable at some point and might start to take their partner for granted anyway. How hard they "worked" for the person won't guarantee future interest. A partner isn't a pair of jeans, if you can't appreciate what you have regardless of how you got it, then you're self-entitled and shallow. And quite frankly that makes someone a bad partner. What I said for point 3 also applies here.
    5. Not everyone wants to live a traditional lifestyle. Also divorce rates have actually gone down. They peaked in 1940 and 1980 but have been going down ever since.
    www.randalolson.com/.../...divorces_per_capita.png

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  • This sounds like a load of crap lol

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  • Why dont you chase the man? The absolute reverse could be said about girls and why they should chase the guy.

    The natural instinct bs is... bs. If I followed my natural instincts, it would honestly probably be to murder anyone that looked at me sideways. Probably. Hypothetically.

    Also who the fuck spends 300$ on a pair of jeans? Seriously.

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  • This is so twisted and sexist towards both genders. I find your first point the most disturbing because it reduces men to nothing more than their biological instincts like animals and also compares women to prey, something to hunt for.
    No one likes to be played around with in a relationship, (unless thats some sort of fetish or something for a small percentage of people, idk). Letting a man chase you seems like you're toying with his emotions, its cruel.

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  • bleh, Fuck instincts and gorilla ass bullshit from way back when. Modern times. I think both men and women who are interested in one another should chase each other so they feel valued. No need for the man to do all the work. Yes in some cases men feel manly doing certain things like this but all the time? nah man.. Would you like to cook and clean all the time with no help? no right. Everyone wants help! even in dating. :)

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    • So true. We don't mind putting in extra effort sometimes. But with a lot of women, it seems like you need to put in all that extra effort in the beginning or you're nothing to them and it just wears on your motivation. Why try at all if they're gonna treat you like you're expendable?

    • @tyber1 yes some women do this and its quite unfortunate. maybe they have been taught at a early age to do these acts.. It's programmed in their mind if they act this way.. Then their perhaps ore valuable.

  • This doesn't really make sense.
    Men are supposed to hunt prey. Well they were, maybe around 2 thousand years ago, but certainly not any more. Also, do you feel like men's prey? Cause I surely wouldn't wanna.
    In the next few paragraphs you keep talking about how you appreciate things you work for and can't have, yet you expect your man to do all the work. This kind of gives off the vibe that you don't wanna put in any effort yourself. Why would the guy want you again?

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  • Everyone hunted back in the day. and gathering food you still have to go seek it. even more so bc its less obvious. medical herbs tok vey special care and focus in finding. women were never siting around waiting.

    if a person can not want you for you they won't want you when they get you.

    if you have to work hard to appreciate what you have and men work for you, , then following that logic you won't want him bc you did not wok for it. or inversely if running away counts as working for it of it then he could want you whether he chased or ran. plus this contradicts wanting what you can't have. if you ate you won't want it. #2 cancel out #4.

    #3 is just another way of saying #4 both entirely missing the most important fact which is a relationship takes WORK. courting is easy. if the part you work hard in is courting you're not relationship material. and a lot of guys who think they should chase DO think the work is one once they got the girl. and women who blindly follow the illogic that courting has any indication on actual behavior during a relationship. end up very disappointed.

    there i something t be said for things that are local. a traditional custom may or may not make sense neither bc it is or is not traditional. to believe in tradition simply bc its tradition is superstition not reason.

    ALL of your points can be applied to either sex, which means they can not be applied , bc the basis of your application is to apply them to one sex by virtue of the fact of that sex being their sex. self refuting

    what is the probe, people have with women conducting themselves like grown rational adults and not playing helpless little childish seductress in their adult hood. enough. let children be children and adults be adults.

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  • Even though these make sense on the surface, you can't deny that people nowadays (talking about adults here) aren't naive enough to believe these actually translate to a long-lasting relationship + those people don't have the time to play these games anymore - and yeah, 'letting someone chase you' is a specific kind of a game.
    ONLY the person who's not that into the guy/girl can allow themselves to risk it all by letting the other party chase them - because it doesn't feel like a risk - because they don't actually care. xD

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  • No thanks. I don't want to be a prize to be won. 😛

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  • "Men are hunters"
    · Goddess Artemis will have to disagree.

    "People break up over silly things, and [do] not want to commit."
    · You don't speak for all couples facing or has faced divorce. A break up is NEVER silly.

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  • You're thinking about it from just one side, guys do not like to chase. It's nervewracking and humbling and down right annoying sometimes. Imagine being new to a hostile class and you have to ask them one by one whether you can sit with them. They have to ask a girl to date them who they might not know or even if they know the girl, she might not return the feelings. Some girls will be nice about it but some will reject you so hard that your head will spin.

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  • No thank you, I will continue to flirt with hot guys at the mall and even proceed to ask for their #.
    Think that won't work? Just look through my contacts on my cell 🌞😉.

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  • this doesn't apply to a metropolis like tokyo where thousands girls put a LOT of work into looking as attractive as possible 24/7 with the same mindset and are all targeting the same attractive men who exist in smaller numbers and know it

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  • Most males in nature chase after females instinctively to spread their sperm, to reproduce. It is the survival of the strongest, and fittest. They dont chase you too long just because you are a unique pearl in the ocean or you're the only girl who can have sex with them. If you dont have a bargaining chip and if sex is the only one, go ahead let them chase you instead of being straightforward strong and showing what you want.

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    • you have a very broad view of men. Although I do find it funny how women always feel the need to explain how men work better than men themselves.

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    • @coachTanthony I think you are the one who needs coaching, please dont go do coaching to others. If i would write this effing anonymous take, how would i comment on it with my name? Please slowly take your hands off of your keyboard and your bullshit away, you cyber-stalker.

    • both of you guys are hilarious. you need a tv show

  • First i thought so too. I've read all those articles. And did it help? No

    I don't want to act like i don't care or I'm not interested. Because it's not true.

    So from now on, i show interest and be honest. If the guy doesn't reply well to that, well he wasn't the right one

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  • #1
    I'm not an ANIMAL to be hunted upon
    #2
    What? Why? How? WHAT? -_-
    #3
    True enough... :/
    #4
    I don't think I'll work my ass off just to get a man -_-
    #5
    ...
    I'm not even going to- I'm just-Let me just- *leaves
    #FeminismRuinedAllGoodWomen? :3

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  • For me personally, I dont want to play games. If I like him, he knows. If I dont like him, I want him out of my way. Not to mention how cofusing and irritating this would be for men caught up in this cat and mouse garbage.

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  • I don't agree with any of this.

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  • Oh boy, another sexist take. You just don't want to put in any work. Stop hiding behind the "muh traditionalism" excuse.

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