Dating in the 90's... Compared to Now

I was in University in the early 90s, when the thought of a smartphone was probably a twinkle in someone's eye. I met my wife and many girlfriends before her - the traditional way - meaning you see someone across the room or a bar or on the bus and you gather up all your strength (if you really like her) and make your move.

There was something exhilarating about that and dangerously exciting. If she accepted, going on a date with her would be a slow and subtle unravelling process. The not knowing and discovering details about someone you start dating was a fun process, finding out that you loved the same band, want to learn the same language, or drink the beer, these were all details that spontaneously made you connect and fall in love with someone. The mystery created chemistry.

Now it's true, with all the modern technology out there that's suppose to conenct you - the recipe for the kind of guy or girl you think you'll like, actually falls flat, people shopping or online dating is boring. Absorbing everything that someone posts about themselves is like becoming susceptible to mass advertising - no one is going to advertise what is not cool about themselves. We consume online identities that in reality, are personal publicity campaigns. How authentic is that?

I like the guy's perspective in this video. I enjoy technology, but I'm so happy that I found my 90s girl IN the 90s. Dating nowadays seems too complicated.


Do you think dating is easier now or then?


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What Girls Said 2

  • I love this take!

    I met my boyfriend much the same way. It was so exciting and fun slowly unfolding the stories about ourselves. Before I met him I dabbled in online dating and I found it so stressful and not fun :( I kept thinking... how many damn details do I have to reveal about myself all at once? I also think flirting is not as fun these days since too many people are looking at their smart phones, etc. and not their surroundings.

    Thanks for sharing.

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  • I think it is hard to compare for me. I got married in 2002 and came out the other side.

    In the 90's, everything was face to face, and, the ever fading phone calll. There were no texting mysteries to unfold, no Facebook to stalk, no Snapchat or Instagram to message someone. Back then I had nothing but free time and my youth. No online dating of any kind, although there were dating SERVICES, a thing where you recorded a greeting on a phone and people responded to that. Cold. With no pictures at all to go on, just that recording and a filter for age. No cell phones meant you would hurry into your house to check the answering machine. The steady red light on it meant heartache, a blinking green light made your heart skip... until you realize it was just your mom or dad, not Him or Her.

    After marriage, I found THIS dating landscape. I no longer have free time, I work swing shit work, home school a 9 year old and split custody 50/50. If I am not working, I have the kid. My days I could go seek companionship aren't always Fri-Sun, making the concept of going out looking even harder. Enter online dating; cut out the fumbling uncertainty and go into the date already knowing something about him or her. Not too bad, really, although "shopping" online is not always easy, either, and you meet a lot of jerks for every nice one you meet. I no longer have the youthful attraction I had in the 90's, and at my age club hopping "looking for someone" won't get me too far in a search among the young for a real relationship. For people like me, online dating is a godsend.

    With technology comes hitches and hiccups... I can SEE he's been online, why won't he contact me? He likes this one's post, she updated her relationship status to single, he hasn't texted me today... so many ways to drive yourself nuts.

    I confess, I miss the thrill of the blinking green light; at the same time I probably wouldn't have anyone leaving messages without current technology. Ironic!

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What Guys Said 4

  • Damn, I was born late :/ ?

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  • girls want to have this days perfect boy, but usually they don't even know what they want and they are so fuckin pickyyyyyy.

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    • No we aren't!

      Okay maybe we are.

      Wait no, no, I'm sure we aren't.

      Actually on second thought, yes. Yes, we are.

      You know what, no, I've decided on "no."

      Actually, yes! Final answer.

  • Now it is too complex, and not helped by crap like pua.

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  • I have nothing to compare it to because I was in diapers in the 90s.

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