Okay, I'm genuinely asking for advice, how can I stop being so bitter and angry. I'm mad because, whenever I like a girl, I either get rejected right away or (more often) get friendzoned, or they start dating some other guy, and, it's made me very bitter. I try to be cold, unfeeling, and logical, but deep down my personality is the opposite, no matter how much I try not to feel, I think I may feel even more intensely than most people. What would be sadness for most people is despair for me, what would be anger is rage or hatred, instead of just getting scared like most people, I get paranoid. Even though I try not to care, I have a very extreme fear of being alone, and having no one in the end. Usually I'll do anything in my power to avert that from happening, but by doing that I think I just push people away, and after that I come to the conclusion that I need to be alone (if you're alone already you can't lose anyone). Lately, I've been becoming more and more bitter, basically, because girls always friendzone, making me feel worthless, and feeding to my fear. Because I don't feel like everyone else I can't handle rejection well, at all. Worse still, I have a tendency to go from caring about a person, to deciding they mean nothing to me very easily. At this point, all I want to know is what's wrong with me, I'm not ugly, and, other than what I mentioned, I don't think I'm that unlikable as a person. Like I said, I don't know what's wrong with me, I can have pretty extreme mood swings (I looked into the symptoms for bipolar disorder, and it's not that, so I don't know. Also, back to the main question, how do I stop being so bitter, so myself (include the above mentioned issues) because I know girls don't like that in a guy.
Most Helpful Guy
My friend, you have a very emotional soul. Unbridled, and unlearned, it can cause you to come to ruin.
Right now, you are in a pivotal time frame, your soul is learning, and maturing, and setting the tone for the rest of your life.
You describe a mentality that is entirely codependent, to the point of falling down a helpless emotional spiral when faced with the idea of being alone.
Here is my advice...
Stay alone. Do not seek a mate.
Yes... that's right. Even if you were to find a woman who would put up with your dependent personality, she would leave you after a while, because while women are nurturers, they do not want to date a son they have to raise to maturity.
What should you do?
Enter into a relationship with Jesus, and the Father, ask the Father for the Holy Spirit.
Am I some religious kook? No. God has healed my damaged heart from so much, things that a million years of sessions with a shrink could never even scratch. God made you, and God knows your heart. If you seek Him, He will bring you healing.
There is another reason why you need to work out your own maturity.
It sets the tone for the rest of your life.. Imagine being a man who's anger quickly turns to unbridled rage. Imagine... Simple sadness crushes you, and destroys any semblance of joy in your life.
This is very, very unhealthy.
Bitterness is also unhealthy. It makes you feel sorry for yourself- and guess what- women can see it. Just like men can spot bitter women.
The bottom line is that you are bitter. You DEMAND women BE a certain way (That is, bending to your rage filled, depressed ways. You can subdue them for a time, but in the end, that is who you are.) which is a huge turn off. No women wants to be under a man who is filled with rage, depressed, and is bitter that they are not filling his *exact* mold for them.
Take it or leave it, I am speaking from my own experience.0
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