I'm sick of people trying to cure my pain like its possible, it isn't, I will always suffer and will always be miserable, till e day I take my life. The girl I loved rejected me, well, screw you guys. Screw your stupid dumbass happy bs logic, there aren't plenty of girls out there. You want me to be brutally honest? I hate them, all 3 billion, every last one of them, I feel nothing but pure, burning hatred. I won't ever loving anybody else, and it spit in the direction of any foolish girls that think I could ever have feelings for them, I can't. In fact, I've grown to enjoy rejecting girls, the same way my best friend, she had the power to inflict that pain on me, my genetics have given me the ability to inflict that same pain on others.
It's so stupid, e beliefs in this perfect little world everyone believes in, why do they, the world is awful, plain and simple, there's nothing good in it, hell, even I know I'm an awful person. I've tried liking every other girl I've seen, I've tried forcing myself to, I even tried hurting myself so I could use the pain as an incentive, but it still failed. I don't care how many other stupid girls there are, I don't care about college or it's stupid adventures, I won't love any other girl like I loved her, I'd end my own life to feel that rush again. I don't believe in any dream girl for me, if there is one, I hate her, if only out of spite, she'd be just another silly girl thinking she could win my affection, and I'd be an idiot practically taking pills to force myself to love her, love is such a pathetic lie, is it not. I especially hate Caucasian girls most of all, I despise them, they are so utterly shallow. I hate them for me being attracted to them, and I hate their stupid standards, always white and blonde.
I don't even know what to do, I don't even know why I asked this, I'm guessing for advice, I don't know, it doesn't matter, I can't even love anymore, there is no hope, go on, try to help me, I can't be helped.
Most Helpful Girl
Love is shit. I agree, I can't be with the person who I love and who loves me because guess what, he is married and has kids. When he approached me I rejected him cause I'm no homewrecker. Three years have gone, I haven't seen him and haven't felt the same way for anybody else for that matter. True love that is corresponded and that is possible due to circumstances is extremely rare. I'm sorry this happened to you at such a young age and it must feel awful remember that there is nothing wrong with you and her not loving you back has nothing to do with you. Life is tough cause a lot of times you have to make choices and one of the toughest choice is to love yourself first. So you can drown in your hatred and loathing, though to be honest, I thunk you are directing that hatred to everybody else because in reality it's your way to cope with hating yourself. Stop haring yourself and stop hating life, get some courage at least from your own butthole and like yourself despite all the shit. Take care.0