How long until you say 'I love you' ?

So I just read a question which got me thinking, I'm sure at one point or another everyone has said 'I love you' and not meant it.
Have you?

Anyway, my question is as what point do you actually think you fall in love?
I'm 19, and I've never been in love.
I'm not worried about it because I'm not rushing anything or looking for 'the one' .. Whatever happens, happens.

I've had SEVERE infatuation, and at that time I genuinley thought I was in love. But I definitely wasn't lol.
I think it's gonna take me months and months to actually fall in love.

Just curious how long does it take until you say it?
And what do you say if they say 'I love you' and you know you don't love them yet?

Thanks lovelies ! 😘


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I've said it to friends in a silly manner, and I've been in almost-relationships where I didn't want to fully commit because I've not felt what I believed would be genuine love.

    This week, actually, I told someone I loved her for the first time in my life. It's been 7/8 months, and she hurt me 4 months ago (not intentionally - she didn't know how strongly I felt at that time already), but I've forgiven her for that and, after telling myself I was infatuated at the time, I genuinely think I've found love.

    She's said "I love you"s before; when her (prick of a) previous boyfriend first got into her pants she blurted it out because she felt she needed to; but she realises how wrong she was. She cried her eyes out that she couldn't give her virginity to me after I unveiled that I was still one at 22.

    Oh, and she said it back to me, too. :)

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    • Yeah I say it to my friends :) I do love them though haha.

      Awww, my heart just melted haha! I'm really glad you've found love! Here's to a happy future for you both! thank you for sharif your story!

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    • Ahhh I'm loving this so much haha!
      You'll have to keep me updated :P

    • Haha, thanks for MHO! Some of us lads do have a soppy side. :p

      Another little update for now - I'm going to send her one of my hoodies so she can wear it to sleep or to chill out in, as though she was over here and stole it from me as girls tend to do. First time she saw me wear it on Skype she said it looked so cosy and bet it smells of me and my aftershave etc., so I remembered that, and now she's having it. Cute! ;)

What Guys Said 7

  • If you truly love someone you can never NOT love that person. There can never be a point where you say "I fell out of love with you..." if you say that, then you never truly loved that person. You can love someone a different way is all.
    I have only told my (ex) wife that I loved her. I still love her. I didn't want the divorce. So she is the only one I ever told it to. but I never had a girlfriend before when I was young. I went on dates with 5 women before meeting my ex wife. I have been out with 12 women in the last 14 months since the divorce. 9 were from mid march to beginning of June when I realized I was not ready to date. none of those lasted more then a week or two so nothing there.
    But I have met the woman I will marry assuming she does not dump me...
    just like I knew with my ex wife, I know with her. I am already almost to love. but I will not say "I love you" until I mean it. I take that very seriously and you don't say those words just to make someone happy. but at the rate I am falling I am betting within a month or two I will be able to say it. But since I don't want to scare her away, I will probably wait until she says it.
    Since women typically are the ones that don't want something serious and spook easily, I just want to be careful not to push her too fast.

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    • Thank you for sharing your story.
      I agree with you, I mean I haven't experienced it yet so I guess I can't really comment but I feel if you truley love that person, no matter what wrong they do or experiences that have happened between the two.. That bond and connection will still always be there, even if you can't feel it.

      I really hope you end up marrying this woman and it all works out for you!

  • My first ex gf were together for 2 weeks and we started telling each other
    we loved one another.. Our relationship lasted about 3 months but we
    never remained friends.

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  • basically i prefer saying "i like you" instead of "i love you"!

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    • I haaate that haha!

    • Yeah! That tends to get me confused. My guy has only said things like "I really like you" and "I like you very much". We've only been together 2+ months so maybe he hasn't really felt like he loves me yet. I don't know..

      I do see myself falling for him some time down the road (or maybe I already have and just don't know or realize it) but I'm afraid of it and I keep asking myself, "what if he doesn't feel the same way? Or worse still, what if it scares him away?"
      I'm afraid of being hurt.
      I can tell he's afraid of falling because he's been hurt badly in the past too. I did tell him tho that I'll never hurt him and he promised me he'll never hurt me too and will protect me. I know he cares about me.

      I guess I'll just have to wait and see :)

  • Until I found my soulmate, Then I love you these words accidentaly across from my mouth, I can't help it, I love you also can say easily but meaningless.

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  • There is no time. Love is different to everybody. You define what love is for you. What you feel is infatuation, may be love for somebody else. Slippery slope it is! :)

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  • I said after 6 weeks it in the 6th date
    We staid around 2 years. But see my name unlucky I think it's true haha

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  • About four years on average.

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What Girls Said 7

  • My husband and I are each other's first loves, and we both think people throw around "I love you" too much. We loved each other for months before we said it, I waited for him to say it first because I knew he wanted to and that it was important to him. He finally said it one night (around 3 or 4am) when we were just cuddling and talking after sex. We had been dating 6 months, 1 day, and a few hours.

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    • See that right there is perfect haha!
      Awww, that's actually really sweet! Thank you for sharing your lovely story ☺️

  • I am with you, I think that it is very easy to confuse infatuation with love. I think it also really depends on the couple and/or situation. But I would agree with you, months and months would be a safe time frame, for me.

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    • Yeah that's true!
      But then if they say it, what are you meant to say? 'Aww, thanks' ? Haha!

    • Yes, if he were to say it before I did and I wasn't ready, I know it would be devastating to him (just because I am learning quickly that men do open up but are hurt deeply when their love/likeness isn't returned).

  • i think after the honeymoon phase is over and u really know the person. id say maybe after a year or two?

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  • Depends on the couple some already have strong feelings as they first get into the realationship. I would say 8 months +. Yet I first said "I love you" after 4 months (it was a middle school realationship so you get the idea)

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  • It depends how fast you get to know one another

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  • For me, it’s not a period of time. It all depends if it’s truly how I feel. It could be the first date, or after years of dating.

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  • Once I know that I can trust the person with everything!

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