How can I be comfortable with my body and this guy seeing my body? Can you look nice if your chubby?


I'm 5'3 and 130lbs and I've finally managed to get a guy to go on a dates with me. We've gone on a couple of dates and I think that we may soon start a real relationship. I'm just so nervous with him. He's the first guy that's ever liked me and it's all just so new.
When he touches me I can't help but shy away. I'm always afraid that he'll grab my arm and feel that it's squishy and be grossed out. He'll set his hand on my stomach and not like what he feels. I've had so many guys I like tell me they don't like me back because I'm too big and I'm scared that this same this will happen again.
sometimes he tells me he likes when girls wear skirt and dresses, but I'm not sure if I can do those things. He also says he likes when girls wear those tighter dresses but I don't think I can wear those. Can I?

Updates:
Guys I weighed myself (something I haven don't in forever) and I'm 137lbs. Ugh. So I do look a little heavier.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I have to say that this is indeed a very sad post/submission. *sigh*

    Ok, let's clear the air here. Take EVERYTHING that you thought you knew about guys and their respective preferences when it comes to physical attraction and TRASH IT!!

    Now, lets look at facts.

    -Have you ever spoken to said guy?
    -Have you made eye contact with said guy?
    -Does said guy have eyes?
    -Is said guy blind?
    -Have you been on 'a' date with said guy?
    -Have you been on two dates with said guy?
    -Three?
    -Has he run away from you yet?

    Ok, now that weve established some precedence based on fact lets look to opinions. Not all guys, myself included, are attracted to 100lb, blonde haired, blue eyed waifs. Not all guys, myself included, are attracted to ginormous boobs or tiny flat butts. We ALL have differing opinions and preferences. Much the same as you may prefer blond hair on a guy to say red or brown hair, men also may prefer a little (or even a lot ) of cushion.

    I'm a prime example of the anti-stereotype. I'm a 34yr old white male. I'm confident in my looks and know that I'm attractive. That being said:

    -I have 0 attraction to Asian women
    -I have 0 attraction to blondes
    -My previous SO was a black bodybuilder
    -I have 0 attraction to large breasts

    And the list goes on...

    One of the body types I'm attracted to is a woman with kinda chubby upper arms, a big butt, wide hips, chunky legs, and cankles. Yep, you read that right, I think cankles can be hot!

    My point is, don't be so quick to sell yourself short. Appreciate what you've got, love freely, and accept love when it is given. Regardless of my opinion or anyone else's, you ARE beautiful in some way to someone!!!

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    • Unfortunately I'm a busty lady, but my hips are pretty big.
      But still thank you. im going to try to view things in a way he views them

What Guys Said 7

  • 160 is chubby.

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  • He has gone on a few dates with you so he is not worried about your appearance.

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  • u shouldn't... yer weight sounds perfectly normal for yer height actually ;)

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  • 5' 3" is hardly "chubby"! You have a long way to go to get there! What the heck?

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  • 130 lbs... does not sound like you are really chubby at all..

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    • Im not ver muscular though I'm main that so I'm a lot bigger

  • Hell yeah u can, he ain't seeing u cause he is blind

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  • I read your question and had my own question. There is this girl I am crazy about. I get the feeling she is feeling like she is too chubby? But the thing is that's not true at all. I am so attracted to this girl that I really could care less how fat skinny short or tall she is. How would a guy be able to let a girl know that he likes her exactly the way she is, without pointing out any PERCEIVED flaws she THINKS she has? Just tell her she's beautiful? Or, what?

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    • I'm really not sure, like I said I've never really dated anyone so I'm not sure. So I'd say giving her compliments and maybe reassuring her in her looks

What Girls Said 7

  • First of all, I don't think you're chubby. Your weight is perfectly normal. You could tone your body though, by going exercises or lifting weights. You can definitely wear dresses and skirts. It depends from your body type which dress or skirt type will look more flattering on you

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  • Society impairs the judgement of nearly every generation today. People are so used to being judges that they begin to expect it and judge themselves. The only person holding you back is yourself. You should wear what you want to wear, and whatever you feel comfortable in, because what you wear or look like doesn't change the person that you are. If he can't see an insecure girl who needs some confidence and to be shown how beautiful she is then he doesn't deserve you.

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  • You just be you. Dress in what you feel comfortable in. And maybe talking to this guy will help ease some of your insecurities.

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  • you are not chubby

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  • That's a perfectly normal / thin weight for your height

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    • But I'm definetly not a thin girl. I'm not a lot of muscle, I'm mainly fat.

    • If it makes you feel any better I'm only 5 feet tall and 135 lbs and according to most people on GaG they liked my body. So there's nothing you should worry about. Thin isn't everything

  • I'm 5'3 and 170lbs. A guy bought me flowers last night, I was asked on two dates last week and this other guy saw my picture with some of his friends and he's messaging me from another continent. Trust me it has nothing to with weight but all to do with your personality and confidence. Also all of the guys are good looking with good jobs and fit. Just saying don't underestimate yourself just because of a few pounds. My last boyfriend was also fit and couldn't wait to get my clothes off all the time.

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    • Also my biggest insecurity is also my chubby arms and my last boyfriend said how much he loved my thicker arms and he didn't know that was my biggest insecurity. Don't tell the guy your physical insecurities, most of the time people won't notice until you point it out.

  • He obviously likes you just as you are!

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