I did it! I made it out of the friend zone! But now I need a little more help, can you give me some advice?

Ok so I'm gonna try to keep this short! I've been best friends with this girl for the past 3 years and I finally got the balls to ask her out. She said yes! She did say that she had previously only thought of me as a friend but recently she's been thinking that maybe something more could come from our relationship. We've been talking/going out on dates for 3 weeks now. I asked her how she's feeling and she said she really has fun when we hang out and she wants to keep working on it. The only thing she said she's having a hard time in her mind looking at me now as a boyfriend figure instead of a friend! She said she's wants to keep working on it though. So any advice on how I could help her through the transition would be appreciated!


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Congratulations on making it out of the friend zone! That's a tough transition in itself and I bet that feels amazing! Onto your question, there's certain things you have to remember. Space is a huge one and I can not express this enough. It will take some getting used to on her part and you can not force her into this. She has to gradually become accustom to it on her own time. There are going to be moments when you feel like you have failed entirely but don't give up hope. The man I have been with for 4 years was once a man I had in the "friend zone". It took me a few months to start seeing him as more of a friend, but when I did, boy did the sparks fly. He was perfect and I wish I had realized it sooner. However, my big thing was that I just wasn't ready to jump full on into it at first. Which your friend might be experiencing as well. Given that he was my friend, I felt that if I rushed into it it would crush our friendship. It obviously didn't but at the time, the idea of it scared the piss out of me. So the best advice I can give you is just be yourself. Don't try to impress her with a shit ton of fancy dates if that isn't the person you really are. Make sure you are still that friend you were but add more to it. Holding hands, kissing her (forehead, hand, etc.), putting your arm around her waist while walking. Little things like that. The more you do this, the easier it will be for her to overstep that friend line that she is having a hard time crossing. Good luck to you!

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What Girls Said 17

  • Do not help her. She needs to make that transition on her own. To make the transition easier for her is maybe so boyfriend type things for her. Maybe buy her flowers, surprise with meal you made, or any surprises. Do little things that make her smile and fall for you more. Hope everything works out!!!

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  • This is just a transition period. It'll pass on its own, so be sure to stick with it, because it's worth it! :)

    I was friends with my first love for several months before we started dating. He asked me out while we were hanging out one night, and when he dropped me off at home later, he walked me to my door and kissed my cheek. I remember thinking, "okay that will take some getting used to." Haha but the feeling passed before long and it was very much worth the wait.

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  • Nice! Good for you dude. I would suggest taking it slow, and respect her boundaries. Let her know that first and foremost you are her friend. Hopefully, once she sees how sincere you are about this relationship, she'll warm up to the idea. She already said she's willing to try to be more than friends, which is fantastic! Small things like holding her hand, kisses on the forehead, or cheek is how my boyfriend started off. He was very considerate because he knew I wasn't too comfortable with the physical aspects of being in a relationship. He'd ask me if he was making me feel uncomfortable and would remind me that he respected my space. I really appreciated that and till this day, still do.
    Best of luck!

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  • I would do something really romantic like a late night picnic under the stars complete with roses. the works. show her that side of you and put a lot of effort into it, don't stop also being her friend, but show her how romantic etc you can be! girls love that kind of stuff!

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  • Is all about the sex, make her scream and you'll never get demoted to boyfriend status.

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  • I think the only thing that separates best friends and people in a relationship is attraction for one another. She has to be attracted to you and want to have sex with you. Maybe try to do romantic things and approach her in ways that only a boyfriend would like putting your hands around her waist and hugging her for behind. Maybe walking around her naked, when it is warranted, would her juices flowing. Have you guys kissed? Maybe try being a little more passionate with the kiss? I guess what what I'm trying to say is stop acting like you're only best friends and do the cute mannerisms that a couple do with each other. Other than that it's really up to her

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  • First, I want to say is congrats! And I think you should start showing her your romantic side like holding hands, cuddling, hugging her, kisses on the cheek or forehead, and hugging from behind. Whatever you want to do just show her that she's special to you :) :D. Good luck!

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  • First of all, congratulations on getting out of the friend zone! It's almost the best feeling in the world.

    Have you kissed her yet? I guess the only way to make her see you as someone she'd date is to act more romantically and less "friendly" if it makes sense. I wouldn't rush things though, especially when you've been great friends for such a long time. It could throw her off so to say. If I were you, I'd test the waters but carefully. But I mean it seems like she wants this thing to work out so it'll probably turn out fine. If she needs time, don't hesitate to give it to her but yeah - my best advice would be to act like you're out of the friend zone like I think you now are. Good luck!

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  • just continue hanging out and make her fall for you lol trustttttt me, if you spend more and more time together it will def help your relationship with her! make her laugh and smile and be cute lol

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  • hmm.. always tell her how pretty she is.. and how you were always crazy for her..

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  • Congratulations 🙌🙌 ummm keep complimenting her when you see her, but don't come on too strong, and perhaps be slightly more affectionate than normal

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  • congratulations and good luck in the future

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  • be lovey dovey... hold her hand... and kiss her...

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  • Try like acting like a boyfriend I guess. Maybe buy her chocolates and cards and stuff? Sorry, I never encountered before this so I have no idea. :P hope I helped

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  • Hot kissing will fix that.

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  • Show her your romantic side. Show her that you can be boyfriend material. Maybe because she is used to seeing you as a friend that you need to show her the boyfriend side of you.

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  • Congrats! I think you should continue as you are but try and be a bit more affectionate.

    Holding hands, light kisses on the cheek, extra long hug... stuff that friends wouldn't normally do.

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What Guys Said 30

  • You need to make a move... and fast. Everyone is right about being yourself but in this situation you are just reminding her that you are great friends by maintaining a non-intimate relationship. Going out on a date is not enough because a "date" in itself is not romantic or intimate. You are going to have to break down that barrier and get at least a little physical. Kiss her, touch her and don't fret over the rest. Sex and everything under its umbrella will come down the line.

    Really though I can't stress enough to you how important it is for you to bust a move and be romantic or intimate. Otherwise at the end of the night it is just going to be two friends going out to "hang out" or "chill" or... insert anything that two friends do together. Make it happen, make it real and don't give her time to think about the friendship.

    You have shown her what a great friend you can be for THREE years and you need to drop that ASAP. Now go show her how great you can be as a love interest! Also do NOT ask her how she is feeling about it. You are just making it awkward and forcing a spoken answer when you NEED her to come to conclusions without being prompted. Be natural, be romantic and eventually she will stop seeing you as a friend. If you consistently check in to see if she is digging the dates you are going to be shooting yourself in the foot my friend.

    Good luck!

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  • first off, congrats. That's actually a big accomplishment and a tough barrier to cross. What I would do is wear a really nice cologne but in small doses so she'll like to be closer to you and snuggle. Start complimenting her appearance and physically show her you like her by holding her hand when you walk places. I personally like to hold the doors open for my dates because I'm a bit old fashioned.
    Basically, I'd advise you to take it SLOW. I think the most everlasting relationships start by a friendship. Seeing that you've known her for 3 years prior to this, you already know her pretty damn well and vice versa. So no need to rush into anything. Just be you, not anybody else. You are the guy she's paying attention to, so don't have her fall for a false you.
    Other than that I'm sure you know how to take it from there. Best of luck to ya.

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  • Don't worry. Just do stuff which is not so predictable. Kind of like show her your other side now that u have the chance. Surprise her. Show her how romantic u could be. GIve her the chills when u can. Just do things in newer exciting ways. As u were her friend u must know what kind of ideal relationship she always mentioned or what fantasies she had... just satisfy those.
    It should come in her mind. that your 'new' and there is so much more to you then the usual things she knew about you while in a friendship..
    Be confident.. Seems like your doing great already ;-)

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  • Congratulations man. Everyone told me I wouldn't make it out of the friend zone and I did. But I know it feels amazing. But just take your time and become a little more physical whit her when you go out. Make sure you show her your dominance but not in a cocky way. And if she has a hard time making that transitions that's ok because she made it clear she wants to. So just give her some time to adjust but also help her get there to. Take control of this situation. Females love a man who knows what he wants and takes it. Be romantic and considerate. But just make sure you be more physical like holding hands, putting your arm around her, kissing, mabey even cuddling but just give her the time she needs to adjust but also help her get there if that makes sense. But congrats once agin and I wish you both best.

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  • treat her like a date, a girlfriend, not a friend.

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  • Bro, one red to other, think about her not as friend any more and more like boyfriend. By that I mean randomly compliment her. Tell her she looks beautiful, say you are the one and only, or if you think your relationship has taken that step, tell her I love you. Also surprise her with a gift, it doesn't have the a ring, a car or something really expensive. Anything like a drink she like or pizza (everyone loves pizza) or something you think she will like. Even the gift of you. (I don't know what your girlfriend likes so you should think for yourself) keep it real, man

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  • Woow dude... I think you should take it easy here... you can't make her think if you as a boyfriend immediately... All these years you were a friend and now she has to take it a little slow before she completely sees you as a boyfriend... just let her take all the time she needs

    And congratulations on making out of the friend zone 😊

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    • This! Pushing her into it will push her away. Just do fun/ awesome stuff together and have fun.

  • You weren't in the friend zone in the first place. If she had said "no" and then "let's remain friends", that would've been friend zoned.

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  • Have you two hooked up yet? Have you done any romantic boyfriend gestures for her?

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  • You gotta get more romantic, more passed the Friendship thing, and more into the Boyfriend thing, Friendship thing you had limits of what you could do with that person. But since the Friendship line has been crossed, you can do more than before. Hold her hand, be more lovey around her, show more feelings, and when you think its time, Kiss her. don't take too long like months later.

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  • "The only thing she said she's having a hard time in her mind looking at me now as a boyfriend figure instead of a friend"
    You never built any attraction with this girl you are still in the friend zone in my opinion. I would start escalating things w her sexually right away mate

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  • Have you kissed her yet? Physical connections (not JUST sex) will make her think of you as someone romantically interesting, not just a friend.

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  • If she was willing to date you, you were never in the friendzone, don't give friendzoned guys hope.

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  • Bitch is playing you. Let her 'work it out' on her own time.

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  • Try and kiss her.

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  • The only thing I can think of is that you should do things that you wouldn't do when you were friends, being more intimate... but don't see that as a task, no forcing

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  • Make yourself as sexy and romantic as you possibly can.

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  • Just continue to be yourself. You are obviously the person she likes. Continue to be that

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  • Yeah good luck lets just hope she doesn't put you back in there. I refused to be friends with a girl I'm not here to waste my time if she wants to date me fine, if not she can hit the road. i'm not getting any younger I don't need some girl giving me the runaround when she finds someone else attractive.

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  • Find out everything she wants in a man, and do your best to become that man.

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  • You're one lucky ass motherfucker, and to answer your question, I dunno.

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  • be a badboy.

    If you remain nice then you will be brotherzoned.

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  • Grab her, hold her, and try kiss her, and sex or she got lead to do that?

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  • Wine, lots of wine. Sex and wine

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  • Have you kissed yet?

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    • I think they must have done it as they dated for 3 weeks and normally you kiss at second date, in my opinion third date might be too late for this?

  • just keep working at it, it will take a while till you both get out of the "friendzone" mindset.

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  • Sounds like a troll. You need to fuck her.

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  • Remember also never call her... don't call her too much, give her a SPACE!! Or you'll 100% screw it up.

    I would invite her on some romantic date at example 8pm there. After that I wouldn't contact her at all. Most likely she'll come or she'll call you. If she won't come it's not worth you.

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  • Make a move. Kiss her

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