My parents won't let me date outside of my race?

I've been talking to this guy for 7 months. We fell off a month ago because my dad refused to let me date someone who was not white. I did not tell the guy i've been messaging. I really do like him, and he's really into me. We have never met but we both live in the same town and one of my close friends is dating his twin brother. We are both 16. What should i do?

  • Listen to your parents- You're young and this will just cause a lot of trouble. He's not worth it.
    10% (5)24% (13)17% (18)Vote
  • Don't listen to your parents, Love knows no color, their views are ridiculous
    78% (39)54% (29)65% (68)Vote
  • Go behind your parents' back and date him anyways
    10% (5)13% (7)12% (12)Vote
  • Other (Please explain)
    2% (1)9% (5)6% (6)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Guy

  • this is difficult since disobeying your parents can have serious consequences and make you wonder if it's worth taking the risk... but me personally, I'd go for it. my mother wasn't very thrilled when I dated a white girl in high school but I figured I'm not going to follow rules that I don't believe in on principle

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Who's going to be involved with this guy; you, or your parents?
    Ask them why you can't be with him. Get them to try to justify their actions.

    I'd say just do as you please but you're under 18, still living under their roof and quite a ways off from being independent. Try to reason with them that he's a great guy, and that him not being white does not make him any worse. Hopefully they'll warm up to the idea.
    Take this from a white girl who also had issues with her parents accepting the fact that her boyfriend is not white.

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What Guys Said 27

  • For fucks sake 2015 why are people are still opposed to dating outside their ethnicity?

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  • You should not go behind your parents' back because that will cause a heap of problems for you. If you and Mr. Wonderful are meant to be, it will still be right when you turn 18. However, remember that you haven't met him, so you can't really know whether you would be compatible, and sometimes the man basis of an attraction is that the relationship is forbidden.

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  • I understand why people vote for "dont listen to your parents", because its not right to decide over someone in that matter especially for a stupid reason like that. But I still voted for listen to your parents because he is maybe gone, maybe you two find out that this relationship doesn't work, maybe he cheats on you. doesn't matter which race he is, young relationships are more likely to break. Believe it or not. But your parents will stay. Never stand against your family. If you're older and ready to marry someone, thats when you can fight for your love.

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  • You are almost 18. Just wait a tiny while until you can move out and then you can date anyone you please. They may still be unhappy but they'll probably get over it.

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  • You would have to be over 18 and living outside of your parents' home for that to work out

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    • This ^
      He is right, wait until you can support yourself, or your parents will make the relationship very difficult to maintain

  • Not much you can do while you still live with your parents. Going behind their backs might make your life hell. When you're on your own you can do whatever you want.

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  • Them not wanting you to date someone not the same race as you is ridiculous, if it's what makes you happy then date him. Your parents will eventually see how happy you are and they won't care that he is a different race.

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  • fuck what your parents think. it is your life, not theirs. you are big and old enough to decide who you date

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  • That awkward moment when you bring a green & orange alien home to meet your dad...

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  • As a heavily mixed guy, I particularly hate how ignorant your parents are.

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  • Yeah, this would mainly be up to you. But race shouldn't matter when it comes to friendship or love. Since you're young, just don't let your parents see the guy. When you're 18, you can stand up to your parents speak your mind but don't say anything right now.

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  • Just explain them convince them or invite your guy friend to your home so that your family could know that he's nice and a good guy 😊

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  • I disagree with your parents. You should be able to date a guy of a different color of skin. However, I will say you should wait a few years before you date. That way, you can get your future more in order.

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  • In your situation I would date the girl behind my parents back, which I have... My parents also are not very cool with me dating or marrying a white girl, but they will have to deal with it whether they like it or not

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  • If you really like him just lie about it... if you dont then its not worth it

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  • Cultural differences can cause problems so be careful

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  • Eh your parents are kinda dumb in this situation, fuck em, do what you want

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  • Wtf? what's wrong with them? Love goes deeper thank skin color.

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  • Another wanna be race slut. And you're only 16 years old. wow!

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    • i'm white. he is half white, and half middle eastern. i don't understand your hate for biracial couples

  • Yeah you should probably stick to other White people

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  • Send your parents back to the 18th century and date the guy. Jeez I hate racists.

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  • A little from Column A, a little from Column B.

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  • Well, that sucks.

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  • Look up the history of the races and you'll know why

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  • Keep the white race pure. White power

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  • so ignorant of this girls circumstances! all those who voted B!

    Asker, listen to me carefully, your parents will ultimately ruin your relationship, it will be a sacrifice, your parents love for a fleeting childish relationship

    the relationship will end, and you will have bitter parents to turn towards dont date him!

    i dated a black girl in HS and it was dreadful being shunned by my mom, and it put stress on my girlfriend, me and ultimately my girlfriend left me we only dated for 2months
    its tricky and difficult just dont get involved

    wait until you can take care of yourself before turning on your parents

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  • Just remember, girls like having their dad walk them down the aisle

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What Girls Said 11

  • I don't think that there really is a right answer here or at least more than one. Option B is the best one because it's the truth, C is correct but it's not good to sneek around and disobey your parents, and option A is true because if/when you get caughyti can only imagine the havoc it's going to call but I really do feel that the boy and your young love is worth it.

    I don't want to encourage you to get in trouble but at the same time I don't want you to miss out on something wonderful.

    If you can wait maybe you should wait until you're 18 to date him that way your parents can't have a say so, but you really like him go meet/hang out with him when your friend goes to be with his brother that way you won't be lying to your parents when you say you're with her.

    But in my mind as I read this all I could think of was the story of Romeo and Juliet the star cross lovers.

    In the end the decision is yours... Good luck 👍

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  • Don't listen to your parents, Love knows no color, their views are ridiculous

    Live YOUR life. Your life isn't you parents or anyone else's but yours. I wish I could say most parents aren't like that but lots are. My dad didn't want me dating a white guy. Guess what I do? I dated him anyways, and guess what my dad did? Excepted it while we were together. He SEEN that this wonderful guy was good to me and he accepted him with open arms after a a year. We aren't together anymore because he moved after graduation (his mom HATED me) but my dad know not to misjudged anymore.

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  • It's sad that people still have racial issues..
    But, at your age, be careful to not get yourself in mkre trouble than it's worth with them.

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  • I can't tell you to go against your parents because you're still living under their roof. I don't agree with them tho. But for now you should stop. You could probably try to plead your case, but I don't think it'd help much. Once you're out of their house and making your own way, feel free to date who you want.

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  • Honestly it's gonna be difficult because if you go behind your parents back and date him their gonna make it impossible for you two to date

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  • If your parents are gonna kick you out for something like this, then it's not worth it for some boy. Their views are horrific, but you shouldn't jeopardize your future to go against them. Just put up with it for now, and then do as you wish when you move out and have your own income.

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  • Dang I have a friend like that. Her parents refuse to let her date anyone who isn't black. But my parents have always told me follow your heart.

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  • Date him behind their backs, but only for fun. Don't let it get serious. You're only 16 lol.

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  • just make sure that you are dating him for the right reasons not because your parents tell you no. also you should be upfront with your parents. it will only cause hurt in the long run if you hide it.

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  • Wait until you're 18 and move out. Then date whoever you want

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  • I'd never let my parents decide on my love life.

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