Am I wrong if I feel uncomfortable with holding hands with my SO in public?

It's a weird thing with me but I don't like holding hands with my girlfriend in public or around good friends. I'm not affectionately shy in private and we have a good sex life and are very affectionate behind closed doors. just once in public I feel weird holding hands. I'll kiss her bye or give her a hug but she is bothered that i dont like holding hands.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Asker, you'll be glad if you did improve from that like you told someone else because I'm sure you don't want to lose her so just confidently hold her hand and she won't have any reason to worry anymore, you'll see it in her face. :)

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What Girls Said 32

  • That is a bit ehhhh... I mean it's just hand holding, shouldn't be that big of a deal. But I guess there's different kinds of people in the world, whatever floats your goat. But I think you should try to figure out why you feel that way. Your girl may think that you're embarrassed that she's your girlfriend and that's why you don't wanna show it.

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  • You're not wrong, but you have to understand that a lot of girls do like holding hands in public. I know I do. I like holding hands in general. If my boyfriend (if I had one) didn't, it would definitely urk me a lot, but it doesn't mean at all that you're in the wrong. You are entitled to your feelings and if she likes you enough, then she should respect that.

    BUT, don't give a crap what other people think. It's not like you're having sex in front of a bunch of people. You're just holding hands. If you guys have been dating for 6 months, then I think it's time that you open your mind up a little and try to give holding hands in public a go. Show her you're willing to work on it even though it's outside of your comfort zone.

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  • I had an ex who didn't like holding hands in public either and it bothered me. It made me feel like he was embarrassed to show affection for me. I'm not one for major PDA, but holding hands is sweet and it's something that most couples do when they're walking together, so it makes you feel unwanted or like your partner isn't proud to be with you when they don't want to hold your hand.

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    • I want to be with her its just not my comfort level per say I don't know I'll have to work it out and learn to to care.

  • I think that's not completely wrong.
    I don't like to showing affection in public too.
    If you really uncomfortable with it, maybe you can try to talk to your girlfriend about it.
    Just give her understanding and explain things from your perspective.
    Share your thoughts together and decide what best for you two.

    Maybe you think it's not really important to make discussion about it.
    But IT IS if you both feel uncomfortable about it especially when you're not in the same way.
    Little things like this can piled up and become a time bomb for your relationship.
    Girls are very sensitive and very detailed to expose something like this when you two had an argument, you know.

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  • i think it's alright, because it comes from a nice place in you, but i can also understand why she is bothered it, because it isn't really classified as the most uncomfortable PDA u can do.

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  • Not really. Everyone is different and some people are just not comfortable showing affection in public.

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  • If I were her I would feel like my boyfriend isn't comfortable around me enough (in public) to be holding hands. It really isn't a big deal but it would be nice. I know I don't have to be always holding his hands though.

    But maybe she thinks it makes you guys look more "coupley"

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  • Nah you're not weird. Public affection isn't my thing either, but if she's bothered with it there's little things you can do like putting your hand on the small of her back for a second when you're walking or whatever to make her feel wanted. If it's because you feel like unmanly or weak when displaying affection in public I personally like it when a guy has the confidence and comfort to show affection, if anything I think it makes a guy more masculine and attractive. However if it's just not your thing (like me) there's no issue.

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  • No it's okay it is just still new to you. When I was younger I was horrified at the idea of ever having to kiss my husband on our wedding day. Now that seems so silly.

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    • We've been together for 6 months but I just dont like walking to class holding hands with her cause I feel like people look at us weird.

    • Right it is still new to you. I felt this way for years.

    • He might never like it. Everyone's different.

  • Sounds like you're embarrassed about something

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  • Whatever you're comfortable with is totally okay. I don't really like to hold hands either, because I find they get very sweaty. I much prefer to hang on to his elbow or something.

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  • I don't like hand holding much either. It's constructing to me.

    Can't deal with arm around my shoulders or waist either.

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  • i dunno im the same way i feel really weird holding hand or being pda safely affectionate with my guy in public. in private we have no problem getting nice and cozy. i guess it's just a self conscience sort of thing. if you haven't already try explaining to her about how it makes you feel, so that she won't jump to any conclusions about your reasons.

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  • It's not weird but girls take it personally, like you're either ashamed of them or you're being shady, like you want other girls to think you two aren't dating. My boyfriend doesn't like holding hands but he's just really private. He could be lying but I doubt it. He tells me the truth.

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  • I've been with my boyfriend for 2 and but years and it's only recently we have started holding hands (not all the time) but most of the time. I used to feel awkward too

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  • I'd be upset and probably would be a deal breaker

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  • Guys who show their girlfriend off is a good thing, girls want to be showed off. My boyfriend doesn't like holding hands either, but we really do like being showed off. Sometimes it feels if we are just a hidden piece and we dont like too be hidden around people.

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  • loool this was my exact same problem, minus the sex life aha
    I don't like holding hands

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  • that is unusual and if i were in the girl's position i'd think you're embarrassed by me

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    • Tbh Its more of a keep people thinking I'm a tough guy and not a love bird. I am okwith kissing her and hugging in public but if people see me holding hands with a girl I fell like. it makes me look weak.

  • You're not into PDA. And that's OK.

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  • I don't like doing any of those in public. I consider it as rude to public so I prefer home.
    No one wants to know who is with who so why bother?

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  • Why do you feel weird holding hands?

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  • Just explain that to her.
    I would feel weird too.

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  • Haha I am the same way, and thank god my boyfriend is the same way too. And I don't think it's weird, just our personal preferences.

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  • Are you proud of her? Are you embarrassed of her? It might help to ask yourself those questions

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    • I'm nkt embarrassed at all I've been told she's very attractive by my friends its more like I just don't feel comfortable with it I guess. I'll have to change I guess.

  • Your not necessarily wrong, but she wants to know your not ashamed of her. Or up to no good.

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  • You are just conservative or should I say old fashion?

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  • It's okay if you don't feel comfortable holding hands in public. I'm not comfortable holding hands on public either because it makes me feel kinda like a child. You don't have anything to worry about, unless she asks you to, then hold it.

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  • No its not. I feel awkward doing the same too to my boyfriend.

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  • not uncommon at all. i'm the same. a lot of my friends think it's strange or that i don't love my girlfriend or boyfriend enough but honestly, it makes me uncomfortable, it makes other people uncomfortable, and if you two are all good behind closed doors that's all that matters.

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What Guys Said 15

  • It is not "wrong", but that doesn't mean it isn't a problem. I am someone that really wants a lot of PDA. So I want hand holding, hugs, kisses, etc in public. I want a woman that wants me so much she really just doesn't give a shit who knows it. Unfortunately, if you end up with someone that is not that way, that causes an issue. Now it depends on how big an issue it is for someone, and how many other "issues" there are. If this is a tiny issue, but you have many tiny issues, that can kill a relationship. There are always give and takes in a relationship. Maybe your SO accepts this because you have given into something that is equal or more important to her someplace else. But it is something you need to be aware of and it is something you should talk about and understand just how big an issue it is for her.

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  • You aren't wrong. But she isn't wrong either.

    If you are not comfortable to do that in public that is your right. But think about what she wants and how she might feel not getting that attention. She be the kind of person that feels if your boyfriend holds her hand in public he is not ashamed of being seen with her and wants people to see that he has feelings for her.

    Again not saying you are wrong. You may have your reasons for being that way but she has her reasons for wanting that. Talk to her and find out if there is an underline reason and tell her your reason...(parents never did it so you think it's taboo to do that in public... or whatever).

    Talk about it and see if there is a compromise.

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  • If my SO wouldn't hold my hand in public I would this she was embarrasses or ashamed of me

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  • I think you care way too much about what other people think.

    I also think you overestimate the degree to which other people would think about it. Seriously, nobody would care. It's normal to old your girlfriend's hand. :)

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  • Dude, people on G@G are f**king stupid, don't listen to them who say, "It's not wrong, you have your thing" and they are the same people who would say after that girl breaks up with you because she was wanting for more, "Maybe you were not meant for each other." At the end of the day, you both would be breaking up for something as stupid as not holding hands in public.
    Now, no one is meant for each other in total rationality. We have to compromise, that is the base for every relationship. If you cannot compromise, you cannot sustain a good relationship.

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  • Its probably not so much the hand holding itself, as it is her questioning why you don't like it. She probably thinks you're ashamed etc. All you can do is talk to her about it and reassure her.

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  • i love holding hands </3
    i miss that shit bro...

    I don't know if you are wrong, its just your preference

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  • You are, and you should work it out. It's totally normal, noonne will think you're weird or somthing. Heck, they might think you're weird because you don't, because everyone else does it.

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  • That is unusual in my opinion

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  • It's a bit odd but not wrong some people just aren't affectionate in public.

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  • No you're not wrong. I'm not the type of person to show affection easily so I get it.

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  • No, you could just be shy in public that all.

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  • You are wrong.

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  • nope ur right. holding hands is gay

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  • No because, let's face it... its pretty gay

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