The one who cares the least wins?

Women who play games, those who talk to multiple guys at once without getting emotionally investing in them, seem to have the upperhand with guys. They hardly initiate anything (texts/chats/etc), take forever to reply back, and have hobbies that take up much of their time. In my experience, every girl who has done this gets the guy, meanwhile the girls who act genuine (no games) are ignored and single. What say you? Is there really a strategy to dating or relationships?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • They never get the guy they get a guy and that guy always ends up not being the guy she wants because he doesn't actually want her he just doesn't like rejection and as soon as he no longer feels rejected or takes the time to figure who she really is he gets bored and either becomes the uncaring boyfriend or the guy who dumped her. Playing hard to get is only for girls that don't have enough personality to actually keep men interested. The one who cares least wins but they're playing a really crappy game for a really worthless prize. I love meeting these girls though. I like watching them try and fail because it's almost like clockwork it's so predictable. Everytime they meet a guy remotely worth thier time they struggle because he won't act like the rest of the guys. They think he's playing the whole I care less game but really he just lost interest and she loses out and settles for that other guy. Never fails. She either married one of these guys goes through a crappy marriage and does it again or quotes and spends the rest of her life bitter. Manipulating emotions is how you control people not how you build relationships or create happiness. The best guys know what they want and they aren't desperate to get it. So if your playing hard to get, emotionally unattached, and dating a bunch of guys that guy I just described is gonna look at you and go nah not it and move on to the next one. You're still playing the game but he's completely left the court. Playing hard to get is a game of fear. It scares people because they feel confused about what she may be doing and they get scared they'll lose her. Fear and respect struggle to exist together. Once a man stops being afraid of the playing hard to get girl leaving she looses all power over the relationship and he stops caring because he's got zero respect for her because of all the crap he feels like she put her through. It's just bad dating logic.

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    • Interesting point. I have to ask then, in dating culture, why this idea of caring less still perpetuated in this day and age? For instance, this dating logic is passed on from one generation of women to the next, so even if the women who played by the rules do, by chance, end up in a relationship, what about the ones who do none of this but end up married? Is it good for business, many websites also suggest to women to play games, or else end up a crazy cat lady?

    • Because it works. Like I said before playing games will get you A man. Guys fear rejection so if both teams are pretending or even actively trying to care less they'll either break apart or one person will cave into the demands of the other and start working really hard for thier approval. You'll get a relationship out of it. It's just not a good relationship. People sell what works and in the short run this works. If I'm selling a dating book my goal is to get you in a relationship quick so you'll say it works and convince your friends to buy my book. No one years later is gonna come back and blame this advice they'll say it's stuff like cheating or waning sexual desire when really their was no relationship to begin with just a long game of chase that kept the relationship exciting enough to survive as long as it did.

Most Helpful Girl

  • I would say I have to agree with you. I'm the type of girl who if I like a guy, I let him know. I'm not one to ignore his messages or play games. I don't like to lead a guy on, act interested then let him go.

    I don't flirt with guys for attention, I only flirt when I am interested. But I have a heck of a time with guys.

    Any of my friends who played games are now settled down. I have been trying to find someone for forever and still have yet to find anyone.

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    • Omgsh, are we twins? This has been my experience to a 't'. Tried being genuine, the guy gets flattered and doesn't know what to do, then the whole budding relationship implodes on itself like a supernova. Meanwhile, the one guy that absolutely abhors the rules loses interest once said games are played. Meh, life😣.

    • I know, it sucks! Hopefully we have some luck soon!

What Guys Said 6

  • I have noticed this as well, however for me I'd much rather a woman didn't play games but at times didn't throw herself at me which is what a woman I went on a date last week has been doing. She offered me sex before we had even gone on a date, I mean I am all for being genuine and no games but that was far too aggressive and straight forward for my taste haha.

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  • In your experience, how many of those women who play those senseless games retain their relationship? For how long?
    I don't see this powerplay working out in a healthy relationship. All you need is genuine love. Only weak minded people try to shield themselves from the harsh truth that your heart will be trampled upon many times until that day where you find the SO who accepts you as whole and are compatible with each other.

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    • Well, 2 couples in my age range from months to several years. The couple that has been married for around 3 years seem to be doing okay, although there are personality conflicts sometimes, such as one person is more right than the other during arguments. Another couple, years older than me, have been married for 4 decades, but I think timing and the fact they get along and solve problems together has had some influence. That being said, not many of these relationships seemed healthy besides the older couple.

  • Well it's obviously easier to get the guy/girl if you don't put all your eggs in one basket

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  • It's the truth... embrace it or become a social pariah...
    #KimKforpres2016

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  • You have your cause and effect backwards. They act that way because they already know from experience that they can get guys.

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  • patience is the best stratagie

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    • Patience, like taking time to find out who they are/asking questions?

    • exactly lol

What Girls Said 2

  • Yes it's a real strategy but not in a cold hearted way. They are genuine with the guy they like but keep an air of mystery. They are open, honest, respectful and flirty but don't let guys disrespect them or try use them. They keep the guy guessing until they know exactly where they stand with the guy. Basically they are allowing guys to be the hunter.

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    • Good point. An air of mystery... hmm. Are there any ways to perfect this?

  • I'm kind of a mix of both. Like, if it's a guy I really like, I will give them most of my attention, except, they will most likely have to message me first most times (but I reply RIGHT AWAY!). But, I can play games too. In the end, though, I never get the guy I truly want. #stillforeveralone

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