Does the '80-20 Rule' theory explains a lot of today's problems among dating singles?

This theory explains that, if you put 1,000 men and 1,000 women on an island, 'within a matter of days, weeks, or months, approximately 800 of the 1,000 women are going to be competing with each other for the attention and companionship of roughly 200 of the 1,000 men on that island... Many of those eight-hundred women are going to express an ultimatum to the Top 200 men and force them to choose THEM as their “main woman” (i. e., wife, monogamous sex partner, long-term girlfriend, etc.).'

'[M]any of the men in the Top 20% are going to become liars and cheaters... These men are going to find a way to be entrepreneurial, and at the same time, help their fellow men from the Bottom 80% out. How? They will allow the women who are currently their mistresses and side pieces to have one night stands with men from the low end of the totem pole for a flat monetary fee... The men enjoy the sex, but after a while, they come to resent the fact that they have to pay money for it. They gain a measure of ‘egotistical revenge’ by labeling such women as “whores.” '

'Many of the men in the remaining 'Bottom 80%' are going to become agitated and frustrated as time passes by. This will cause them to either a) become more competitive and ambitious so that they too can be perceived as being in that ‘Top 20%’ category, or b) become jealous, envious ‘haters’ of the men who are currently in the Top 20%.'

'Some men on that island from the Bottom 80% will soon become so bitter and resentful to the point where they will look to cause physical harm to the men in the Top 20% [or women].'

Does the '80-20 Rule' theory explains a lot of today's problems among dating singles?
e. g., the notorious Elliot Rodger.

'A number of the women on the island who have grown tired of being relegated to the status of 'mistress' or 'side piece' by one or more members of the Top 20% are going to end up doing one of two things: 1) stop pursuing a monogamous relationship with the men in ‘The Top 20%’ and start “settling” for the men in the Bottom 80% primarily so they can have children and someone to provide for them, or 2) stop dating any of the men on the island, and become content with being by themselves indefinitely (or turn to other women for romantic and sexual companionship, hence becoming bisexual).'

'Many of these women will find themselves in a “marriage of convenience” that really does not truly make them happy. These women will immediately seek to take control of the relationship, and will expect their male companion to play up to them and feel “overjoyed” that they were even selected to have the opportunity to have occasional sex with them that the men have to practically beg for. Many women will have one or more children by a man in the Top 20%, and select a man from the Bottom 80% to help her raise the child (ren).'

'Many single men in today's dating scene are frustrated, and many of the women are as well.'


Most Helpful Girl

  • And who declares who is in the top 20%? I feel like I belong to the 200.

    • If, as a man you have your selection of 3 or 4 women (belonging to the 80%) at any given time without having to resort to prostitution or other devices.

      Or if, as a woman, you are selected as the monogamous / exclusive partner to a 20% man.

      Yes, the system is harsh towards women belonging to the bottom 20% also but these are in a minority when compared to the relegation of men (belonging to the bottom 80%).

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Most Helpful Guy

  • The theory seems to be logical , but the theory's evidence is at "Background information" at best.

    More research is needed.

    • Apart from the fact that this theory seems to be intuitively true, there seems to be lots of evidence from real life, and definitely not something to be outright dismissed, e. g.

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    • You know... I always wondered... we have all this information in our head... all this some would say "useless knowledge" , how can we make them useful I wonder.
      Thanks for the MHO by the way.

    • no problem


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What Girls Said 1

  • this is stupid. you're forgetting the fact that there will also always be certain women that most men will want too. and men are much more vocal about what they want. so, while there may be a ton of women after a select few men, most won't know it because few women actually throw themselves at men the way men aggressively pursue women.

    • and it looks like you're making an excuse for an asshole who ruined many lives because he was weak. that's not women's fault.

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    • this video ( ) compared to this video ( ) does seem to suggest that men ARE more receptive to casual sex requests than women.

      But you are right: it is probably a good point to exit because it seems that the evidence is fairly conclusive anyway. This means that there is no further need for discussion because the truth of the matter has been confirmed.

    • so it was very appropriate for elliot rodger to call his manifesto my twisted world

What Guys Said 4

  • Let's not forget the divorce and the "you have two hands do it yourself". I have come to a point where I don't tolerate that. Matter of fact I don't waste my time.

  • A lot of today's problems among dating singles?
    I don't think it was very different 100 or 1000 or 2000 years ago, except that in older societies many marriages were arranged by the parents or priests.

    Now everyone has to find his own partner. And then that 'rule' hurts.

    • True, the problem is not exclusive to polyamory but perhaps more damaging to men in today's era since women that slept around would have been stoned to death at one point.

      Not that this is an ideal remedy!

  • I dont think its quite 80-20, but there is definitely more of an uneven distribution of sex on the male side.

  • The only problem I see there is monogamy and money lol

    • The article (in full) addresses this, since the top 20% of men that DO actually settle down are still very desirable to the majority of women and thus have their pick of the litter.

      Money only comes into the equation when it comes to prostitution and marriages of convenience (since there are still a lot of men in the bottom 80% are willing to pay for women).

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    • But at the end of the day, desirability will still be a huge factor. That is how evolution works, as it should too.

    • Of course evolution should be selective. The point is that one gender seems to be significantly MORE selective than the other.

      I don't know that polyamory necessarily assists the 'ethics' of it all. That's because it usually trends towards polygyny. In any case there's nothing wrong with settling down with one partner you truly love. This is the optimal arrangement for child rearing in my view.