My boyfriend has been drunk texting his ex. Any advice?

[Anonymous]

I found out that my boyfriend drunk text his ex on Christmas eve and valentines weekend. She texts him every now and then and they have really long conversations. As far as I know they have never met up but I know he's been sending her selfies of him at 4 in the morning and suring their conversations.
I dont understand, I've been with him a little longer than she was.
Does he still like her, we got together 5 weeks after they broke up.

(and yes... I looked at his phone as I was suspicious)

Thanks

[Anonymous]

What a dick he's obviously got something still going with her and is just using you as a rebound. My boyfriend last year use to always call his ex names etc turns out he was still in love with her. You need to confront him on how you're feeling and if he defends her say fuck him he's not worth it or he's to immature

[truthbeknown]

Guys will do this when they are not totally happy or satisfied with their current relationship. I am not blaming you, but something is off and this is why he is starting to seek interests in other areas.

[Asker]

Thank you for telling me the truth, I need to hear it!! Do you think he still cares and thinks about her?

[truthbeknown]

What it is is, we need something, anything, even an ex will do if things are not working with our current relationship. It may not be a matter of him caring about her, she is just someone who will listen, she is like fill-in for whatever he is missing with you. He will call her simply because he has no one else to call or talk to in that way.

[Lovelinefan]

Sounds sketchy enough to bring it up and lay down some ground rules.

[Asker]

Do you think he still cares about her, please be honest as I need the truth I keep telling myself otherwise !

[Lovelinefan]

Well if he didn't care about her, he probably wouldn't be in communication with her.
Now that's not to say that it's the end of your relationship or that he doesn't care about you just as much or even more, but it just means that he's not quite resolved that relationship.
It is possible for them to be friends after a relationship, though there are certain boundaries which must be respected after the relationship has gone from romantic to just friendly, and it sounds like he might be pushing that boundary with the drunk texts at all hours of the night/morning.

Talk to him about it, let him know that it doesn't sit well with you and that you feel it's inappropriate and unfair to you. Have a conversation about it. See what sort of agreement you can come to.
You're not being unreasonable, though he's not totally out of line yet.
Draw the line in the sand, make it clear what's acceptable or not, he should be able to understand and respect you.

[Asker]

Thank you, hurts like hell but you are totally right! Thank you

[Lovelinefan]

Love sometimes does hurt, but if you guys can address problems when they come up and communicate clearly enough to deal with them and move past them, your relationship will be MUCH stronger. It's not always smooth sailing, but the more bumps and rough patches you work through and survive, the stronger the relationship will be.
Talk to each other, LISTEN to each other, be willing to accept the TRUTH, whether it's 'good' or 'bad'.

Approach it with a level head and seek to understand him, hopefully he will do you the same courtesy. Let your feelings be known, and listen to his feelings as well. Hopefully you can come to a mutual understanding and a new agreement that is fair to both of you.

[Anonymous]

give him some space on this one but don't completely forget about it. keep the mindset that he loves you not her. but don't be scared to question him, guys are usually very honest about this type of the thing