What should I do after drunk texting my ex boyfriend?

I had been dating a guy for 5 months, we are both in our late 20s. We broke up about a month ago(his idea), and hadn't talked since then. Due to our hectic/opposite schedules we only saw each other once a week(Tuesdays), and he knew it upset me and said he couldn't take seeing me disappointed. He was expecting his schedule to slow down in May, so he said that things might change in May but that he didn't have time to give me what I need at this point. I was willing to be patient but he said he Doesn't have time and needs to make major changes before he can date anyone.

The break up was friendly, although he did it over a text because he said he wasn't ready to talk to me yet. I texted him on Friday night and it turned out he had been at the same bar I was at. I told him to come back and say hi, and he said he was already home but I should come say hi. I told him I would call him when I got home to see if he was still up. I got to my car like an hour later and called him, but he didn't pick up. I texted him and said good night. The next morning he texted and said he had been really drunk and fallen asleep. I texted him back kind of apologizing because I knew he had said he wanted space and that I would respect it. I also told him I don't have any hard feelings against him and that things are better this way, at least for now. I told him that whenever he was ready to talk, I would be happy to hear from him. He didn't say anything after that. I feel like I should add he's very uncomfortable with emotion(why he broke up with me over a text). He said I'm the only girl who has ever cried in front of him, which is a little strange to me.

I know that what I said wasn't embarassing, but I wonder if I messed up any chance of us getting back together since he had made it clear he wanted his space.. Just wondering what you guys think of the whole situation and what if anything I should do now. Thank you for reading!


Most Helpful Girl

  • This one is tricky. However, there is really just one salution. You've broken up, it was his choice. You've sent him a text saying when he's ready, contact you. Now, that is exactly what you are going to have to do. Give him this space, the last thing anyone would want is to be pressurised, and so far you've done the right thing. Now its time to back off and let him come to you. If he still wants to be with you, he will call you. Though I have to say dumping someone by text isn't right. If you've only be going out a month or a few weeks I might not be so concerned, but you say 5 months and he dumps you by text? I'm not him, but this would tell me, if I were in your shoes, that he's gone for the easy way out, where he doesn't have to look you in the eye... it maybe that he isn't sure... but if it were me in your shoes I'd give him a couple of weeks and if I got nothing I'd walk away.


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What Guys Said 1

  • He's not emotionally strong.

    You don't want a guy like that. I use to be very sensitive to a girl, the lovey dovey type, writing poems and letters to them, letting them know how much I cared etc. I was weak. But I learned now to express in a different way and not committing 100%. Rather 50% and having the girl meet me half way as well.

    If this guy has a problem showing emotions and stuff, he's weak. He's vulnerable to where he has a wall up. It must be a big damn wall twice the size of Chinas. Cause he seems like he's in a shell and there's no way of really bringing him out to have a real talk unless he really wants you back.

    Move on without him. Don't wait around for his answer or message. It'll only end up hurting you in the end. I've learned my lesson many times from the ladies.

    Just find someone who's strong and confident and upfront.


What Girls Said 1

  • I think you're too available by always staying in contact with him and showing him that you want him around. He's backing off by telling you how busy he is. Find someone who will treat you with respect.