He bailed on me again!! Can someone tell me your opinion on this guy?

[Anonymous]

So he bailed on me again for the 4th F*****g time, guys. We were suppose to go on a sushi date then cancels 2 hours before because he thinks it would be better on a Sunday when it isn't after work and he has more energy. WTF. The last excuse he had when he canceled was that he had a killer headache and if we can go the next day instead. Um NO!

so anyways, I responded the next day instead (today) with a paragraph expressing how upset I was and even said the F word. yep.

he texted back "Ok. I am truly sorry for everything and upsetting you. I won't bother you again. I wish you all the best."
I wanted to delete him on FB but for some reason I still don't want to completely erase him in my life albeit the fact I said what I said. Reason? My guts is telling me he isn't really a bad guy (I have heard worse) just a one confused one who isn't ready for whatever reason.

What do you guys think?

[BearsAnswers]

Move on.

He is clearly not all that interested, and you are someone that he is looking at as a person to see when he is bored. He may not be an asshole, or a bad guy, but he isn't all that into you. Those are the kinds of excuses a guy uses when he just wants to go home and play video games instead. Or have a buddy come over for a couple of beers or something. And if those kinds of excuses happen multiple times, it really shows that he isn't feeling it. The fact that he is just "ok. Sorry. Have a good life" when you basically told him off tells you that he doesn't care enough to fight for you. You are someone that helps alleviate boredom, but not someone in his long term plans.

It will be much, much better for you to move on and find a guy that's more into you. You'll want to delete him from social media and stuff so your mind is clear to move on, otherwise it'll be harder to get over him, and you'll be really susceptible to him fishing you a couple of months down the road.

Find someone that wants to spend time with you. People will get busy, sure, but this guy simply doesn't care enough to prioritize you. Others will. Find them. You'll be much better off long term.

[Asker]

Is he not attractive enough to me that he only see me as his side?

[BearsAnswers]

No, it won't necessarily be based on your physical attractiveness. There are lots of things that will make a guy feel like a girl isn't someone he wants to really date. If he didn't think you were attractive he probably wouldn't have dated you in the first place. There will probably be something else. Something about your personality that he doesn't like, or your interests are too different from his, or something like that. It will be more likely to be personality based and not physically based, given that you two seem to have been going out on dates at least periodically.

[Asker]

I am so bummed. When he bailed on me he 3rd time I tired moving on but he came back with an apology.

I let him in and this again, happened! It sucks. I feel like I'm not good enough

[Asker]

Sorry for the typos! Lol I'm typing from my phone

[BearsAnswers]

That usually just means you were being hopeful that something would come from this, despite the clues that were indicating that it might be dead in the water.

At some point though it will begin having really negative repercussions, which seems to be the point you're at now. Where you start feeling bad about yourself, and start internalizing the problem. That's when it's far better to just move on and start to heal yourself before the wound goes too deep.

lol, and don't worry about the typos, your meaning was really clear.

[MadeInAmerica]

fc05.deviantart.net/.../...by_jan_jane-d73khqj.gif

Too many people in the word for you to worry about a guy that can't keep a date to save his life.

[Victorianne]

He may not be a bad guy, but he sure seems like an unreliable one.

Unreliable people can't be depended upon , and that would be a
deal-breaker for me. I like to know where i stand with a guy , so if he was unreliable i would pull away.

To be honest , i couldn't even be just friends with a person who was unreliable , but that's just me

If someone lets me down once , i assume they are busy, twice unreliable but three times is taking the piss. I wouldn't have given him a chance to let me down a fourth time.

Personally, i believe if a guy genuinely wants to spend time with you then he will make an effort.. not an excuse.

[Victorianne]

Thanks for the mho

[ClumsyAngel]

Don't delete him... Maybe you could apologize for swearing :o

I wouldn't have sent an angry response... I would have thought it, but wouldn't really send it. I would have just stayed silent and quiet until the Effort comes from Him. If he really wants to go on the date, he'll contact me to confirm the day on when to go

[chintita]

don't bother deleting him, just move on with your life and forget him. he's a flake, you've tried hard enough so just let him be.

[sexyphil]

He is a twat move on and forget him. He's up himself and thinks that jerking you around is fun. You can do far better than him...

[LeFrogDog]

It seems like you just have a problem letting go. It's not your fault his like this. Get a guy worthy of your time and energy.

[FatManLovesPie]

He said he he won't bother you again... guys only bother girls they like. He is trying to be nice...

[Asker]

if he likes me he won't flake/reschedule

[FatManLovesPie]

Once, but not 4 times

[Asker]

once, but not 4 times? you contradicted, I don't get it.

[FatManLovesPie]

If he did it once then it would not be a big deal. A man doing it 4 times is him being nice by letting you know he is not interested.

[Asker]

I think he just wants a booty call and is sugar coating that he wants a date... because he knows a girl won't just give it unless there's dates

[FatManLovesPie]

Booty calls dont need date... maybe thats why he won't go out with you

[Asker]

I think that's why he keeps bailing and re-scheduling. Am I not good enough for him is why he just wants booty call?

[FatManLovesPie]

I don't know, maybe he really just doesn't wanna swoon you, might not be interested in investing in that. I would try not to worry about it.

[Asker]

it really took a toll on my ego though- like i'm not good enough.

[FatManLovesPie]

None of us are good enough for like 99%of people we meet or date... and it goes vice versa to. Go on other dates, you will feel better

[BertMacklinFBI]

find someone else?

i mean if you wanna still give him a shot then go for it, but i think you can do better.

[starryeyedkitten]

4th time? What a waste of time he is and for him to give up so easily simply says "not into you thanks for cutting the ropes" you deserve better :)

[meatballs21]

He's a flake. Don't waste another second on him, apart from the second it takes to delete him from Facebook.

[AleDeEurope]

4 times? Nah, just forget about him. You even gave him too many chances.

[apple24]

And your interested in this guy? Wow! Nope the first date! It would have been over than!

[Dandeus]

you've apparently got anger issues, and he's apparently a flake. sounds like a recipe for disaster.

[iFarted]

Move on, he's a waste of your time. I wouldve gave up after 2 or 3 times

[Badbone71]

He's been cheating on you from the beginning. the signs are there you just don't see them

[Katerina_Belle]

I think he's letting you down easy

[Asker]

Letting me down easy?

[Katerina_Belle]

It seems as though he didn't want to say to you that he's not interested and hurt your feeling etc so probably let you do that part.
By bailing on you he's giving you the hint that he's not interested, he probably re-arranged because he didn't want to hurt your feelings - he's letting you down easy. And made you make the first move of stopping whatever you two had.

But that's just my opinion and it makes sense.

[Asker]

what I don't understand was why come back to me then apologize and say he is sorry about "us" and want to talk it out. He started having conversations and made plans with me only to bail..

Funny because when he asked me out he then said "you should come over and spend the night since you are close by from work" when I rejected that, the next day I didnt' hear much from him. then finally on the day of our date, he BAILED!

seems like he was testing the waters if I was going to put out.

[Katerina_Belle]

Yeah that too... He seems like a prick.

[alfonsosloan45]

He is clearly telling you no.

[Asker]

Can you elaborate a little more?

[orphan]

what's the "some reason"

[lopflodin]

A sushi date? Dont blame him