My ex of 4 years broke up with me in Jan. saying he wasn't in love with me anymore. We went no contact, he contacted me, and has every time since. One time telling me he was feeling empty and hollow. Saying it was weird not having someone next to him anymore. Against my better judgment we became "friends with benefits". I still care about him but it is time for me to move on. Our agreement was that if we started dating we would tell one another and the FWB would end but we would still be friends. Well recently I decided I was going to start dating again and he got very p*ssed off. Saying I was making a mistake and he wouldn't bail me out. Telling me "do what you gotta do, its your life". then said "You just don't get the point. whatever. good luck. hope it works out. BYE".
I just don't understand! I still love him and would love to be with him but I just can't keep putting myself through all the emotions of not knowing if he wants to or not.
With this behavior I don't know if he is mad that I am moving on without him or that he is losing his FWB.
So guys, tell me what you think
Most Helpful Guy
I have the exact same situation and here's what I can clearly tell you. I'm not trying to be rude to you, I have been very hurt over this situation in my own life. So listen up and I'll try to help out.
You better judgement call about the FWB is reeling in his heart again. Giving him hope that things COULD work out. But then you suddenly move on to the new guy... That's like him saying: "Hey, I'll be there to pick you up when this fails for you, we will work it out" and then when you get dumped, he says "I've moved on, stay the f*** away from me you crazy psycho".
- it's two mixed signals. He doesn't like mixed signals, no one does. Not even me
The problem is that you are having "familiarity" with the ex. If you don't feel like it's working, speak up as to what you are looking for; if he doesn't try to acknowledge what you want (whether or NOT he does or doesn't change), then it's time for you to move on.
- This means that you like having him around and he likes having you around; BUT if you both aren't being considerate of each others feelings then it's not a healthy relationship, which means it's time to move on to a better relationship and leave this chapter closed. That doesn't mean that he should instantly kiss your ass and do as he is told, to make you happy (or vice-versa for you) it means that you both should be able to understand and compromise TOGETHER.
And I'd like to add something else in here. You being with someone else, really hurts him (if he cares about you, like I cared about her)... You can check my account, I originally came on here because of her. I have stayed her a long time for her, and I eventually moved on because the bullsh*t never stopped.
If you want him as a friend, treat him like one. Stop leading him on (if you are)... Stop giving him hopes (the FWB)... Stop chasing other men (You're hurting him)... Stop the bullsh*t.. Stop the drama... Stop the games. ENOUGH!
- Just be friends, take him to the movies as a FRIEND.. Stop texting him "good night"... instead text him "i'm getting lunch and would like you to join me and jessica"... Or try and help him move on with his own life "Tom, I know someone that is interested in you. Her name is jessica, are you interested?"
If he keeps talking about relationships, stand firm: "John, I care about you as a friend. I have moved on and I'm in another relationship. You need to respect that as a man and move on from that chapter. That was the past."
Friends help friends.. Lovers help satisfy... Relationships help multiply the experience of life.
- Learn the difference, and if you EVER need help... Ask me, I'm more than happy to try and help someone that is willing, try to get over this constant bullsh*t that I am so completely fed up with.
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