When a girl says she's busy, does she mean it?

So there is a girl who contacts me after first date, but won't set a definite second date 'cause she said she's busy. She keeps texting me random stuff, but I don't want to be her text buddy, I want to see her. Do u guys think she's worth the time, or should I move on?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Do you know anything about her job? I know with my job I can sometimes get my shifts very last minute so it is really hard to plan in advance, maybe she doesn't want to make a date then let you down?

    I'd keep texting her for a while, it's a good sign she isn't just totally blanking you :)

    Then if she still hasn't set a date in 2/3 weeks ask her outright, do you want another date or not, then at least you know!

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Most Helpful Guy

  • My guess is that she isn't really interested. Even if she was busy, if she really does like you then she would fit you in her schedule anyway bc she likes you that much. Obviously its not at that level. Kinda confusing tho why she keeps texting you. Maybe she is just flaky and you need to be more assertive. And the time you spend with her, make it count. Everyone is busy nowadays so the time you spend with her is valuable and you need to make a good impression on her quickly.

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What Girls Said 5

  • maybe she is really busy right now. However, but i can only speak for myself, if and when I am interested in a person I can ALWAYS find at least time for coffee. After all, she does have to have a day off, or has to eat sometime no?

    If I where you, I would be very clear that, yes you understand that she is crazy busy right now, but that you would like to meet up at least for a quick lunch or coffee or something because you enjoy her company. Ask if there is something you can help out in any way to take some weight off her shoulders.
    This way you literally leave her no wiggle room to talk herself out of a date. If she still keeps being hard to pin down and won't give you a "yes I want a date" or "No date ever again" answer, she might be simply keeping you on the hook for a rainy day...

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    • But won't that comes off desperately forcing myself into her life?

    • well, that depends on how flaky she really is in those text... if there are (apparently) clear signs that she does want to meet up soon but too busy bla bla, then it would not be desperate. However, if she is VERY vague right now and not really "talking" via text, then it might be time to move on.
      In the end, asking for a date in let's say a week is not desperate and if you offer to help you are just taking away from the excuse. The point of this is to get a clear answer, that's it. If she keeps you hanging, you can also say that you get the impression that she doesn't really want to see you and that's fine, but to please not play with your time like this.

      i have always done it this way, and it was an easy way to weed out the ones who where really interested and the ones that weren't. and anyway, if someone cannot handle some direct communication with something so simple as a date, I doubt they will be able to have the important talks in a relationship later on.
      Just MHO

  • Honestly it could be either case. Between school or work she might really be stretched thin. Is there anyway you can be vulnerable and honest? "Hey we had fun the other day and I would like to see you again soon. I enjoy our texting, but I'm honestly looking for more. Do you think you can make some time for me to take you out again in the next couple weeks or would you prefer not to?" If she doesn't give you a straight answer after that move on.

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  • She might just be doing the minimum to keep her options open or to kill boredom. But it's too soon to say for sure. If 2 weeks pass and she still can't find the time to hang out, even just for a hour, then move on.

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  • Yes but it varies!

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  • It means "fuck off" in a nice way

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What Guys Said 1

  • Be patient, keep pressuring. You could be missing out on some good stuff.

    Maybe she really is busy.

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