He doesn't want a relationship right now (probably he means not with ME) but says he likes me back and CAN imagine something with me?

[Anonymous]

So this guy and i (both university students) have been cuddling (spooning, kiss on the head, holding hands when sleeping, wresting) and spending time with each other for almost a year. I've kissed him once, he didn't reject it but didn't reciprocate it but everything went on the same after that. We seem to totally click. I finally told him a feel like i am developing feelings for him. He responded positively and i think he also said he also has feelings for me, but definitely he loves spending time with me, its all so carefree, we totally get each other, and he can imagine something with me. I also asked him what the thought of friends w benefits where he didn't refuse but i immediately cut in before he could respond saying that i wouldn't do that. He then agreed it would be to a shame and that he had once had a friends with benefits reationship and it ended badly. He sees me between a friend and a relationship. He kept on telling me he wasn't "sure" about a realtionship and stuff, but i found out through his friend that he doesn't want a relationship now, because of just getting out of the old one which wasn't to good according to the friend- which had lasted 2 years. The guy i like also said he wants to catch up on what he missed in the two years and wants to take a break. Does he want something from me? would he want an open realtionship with me? Am i missing something here? Does he just want to be friends and not lose me?

[GingerGuy]

I'm curious, why did you bring up a friends with benefits if you are against it anyway? lol You are hurt because you've developed feelings for him and you're hoping and want more so that's why this is bugging you so much. He was in a bad relationship and is not ready (being cautious) about getting into another one (smart of him). So I would just continue to be friends and give it time, see what develops. If you can't do that (because of your feelings for him) then maybe you need to end the relationship with him completely and just explain to him why, that you've developed feelings and you can't handle it.

[Asker]

I am trying To Be Friends with him but he doesn't invite me out w his friends but tells me of his plans with them for the day And so. He's always with and texting his best girl-friend who's also on his sports team.. And shows me texts of his plans for the day and stuff but still doesn't invite me with.. -.- don't get it

[GingerGuy]

Ask him or the next time he starts to tell you his plans for the day say "That's nice but I don't care if I'm not invited, why are you telling me?"

[reptocarl]

Bullshit. Never wait around when a guy says that. It's a ploy to keep you around and use you. Your response is "well when you are ready look me up IF I'm still single" and get on with your life. Don't fall for his fucked up games. He will never be the boyfriend you want

[EllieLexis513]

That's his way of saying he wants to shop around for something better and if he doesn't find it, he'll settle for you.

Don't wait on a guy.

[Artist20]

Wants a break, doesn't want a relationship, wants space, yea, wants to fuck other people.

[sp33d]

You're a good friend, by the looks of it. Keep it that way. His story is clear.

[Asker]

I'm trying to be a friend but he doesn't invite me out with his friends even when he will tell me his plans and show me the texts during planning the plans for later but doesn't invite me along..

[sp33d]

Is he aware that you are interested in hanging with him and the gang?

[Asker]

i dont think so , i dont know, but i dont think so.. i mean his gang would also be a new circle of friends for me :) i do know most of them , but we aren't close friends, they do always say hi to me though if we see eachother :) im getting to be pretty good friends with his best guy friend.. :3

[Asker]

also he's having his b-day party on tueday and he invited me, his best guy friend asked me if we should buy him tickets to a football game together.. im not sure if its worth spending so much time and money on a person who may not even see me as a friend or more.. he says he loves my company and hanging out n stuff, but he doesn't exactly always invite me with.. im not even sure i should turn up at his party.. but that would be mean right?

[sp33d]

You're over thinking this.

[Asker]

so now what?

[sp33d]

He invited you to his birthday. Attend :)

[Asker]

hahah ok xD and probably stop the sleep overs n stuff and suggesting to hang out?

[sp33d]

That is up to you. Do what ever you think is right for the situation.

[Asker]

i dont get what he wants from me tho, what do u think?

[sp33d]

I did say his story is clear. He doesn't want a relationship (his own words in your first post).

Some advice: disregard anything he's not out with that concerns you two as a potential couple. There are too many ways to mess up with such an approach. Too much room left open for interpretation (what you are doing right now). In simpler terms: welcome to the mind games, enjoy your stay.
The worst bit, it's often intentional. You don't want that, you want clear cut information.

Regard him as a friend, for that's what he is.

[Asker]

perfect! thank you! y does he want to play mind games with me tho? -.- do i have like a poster on my head saying, im here to mess with?

[Asker]

and y does he say he can imagine smthn with me?

[sp33d]

A woman I dated told me on the 2nd date, simple, point blank - Do NOT play games with me!!

Simple. It may not have to be as forthcoming as her way is, but certainly, you have to put your foot down if it starts to annoy you.

[genericname85]

it probably means he just wants to fuck around.