My girlfriend's ex is way better than me, how can I feel better about myself?

I have no clue why, and I know I'm so stupid to ask my girlfriend, but I asked her if she's been with someone with a bigger penis/more attractive and she said yes. She's been with 5 other guys, I can't stop thinking how much better they were and I'm all self conscious. So now I feel like shit and was just wondering if anyone could give advice, thanks in advance.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • She shouldn't have answered so brutally honest, then again, you probably shouldn't have asked her a question like that to begin with.

    I think we all deal with insecurities like this. Before we met, my boyfriend had a brief fling with a girl in amazing shape. I stupidly asked him about her body and he didn't hold back. It crushed me. Asking your partner about Exes puts them in a REALLY weird position, and we, the asker, will inevitably compare ourselves to former lovers. More often than not, it's an unnecessary conversation to have and it almost always results in someone feeling hurt.

    Don't compare yourself to her past boyfriends. It's useless and it'll only make you sick and bitter. She's with YOU and only you. She moved on from all those guys to date you. If she wanted to be with them then she'd be with 'em. She chose you for a reason, just like how you chose her. So, they're obviously not way better than you because you got the girl ;)

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Most Helpful Guy

  • 1. Control what you can and don't worry about what you can't. There will always be guys that are buffer, more ripped, better looking with bigger dicks who make more money than you. Make the best of what you have, then let it go. Because there is nothing else you can do about it.

    2. Realize that none of that shit matters anyways. She is with you for a reason. And what really attracts a girl most isn't all of that superficial shit.

    Your girlfriend has a past... but it's her past for a reason. Just like you are her present for a reason. Work to improve yourself today for yourself and you will feel better and better. But that starts with you focusing on what you can control and realizing what you have now. Don't bring up her exes anymore and focus on you and the relationship.

    Allow yourself to enjoy her and what you have with her.

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    • 1mo

      Wow, that was actually really helpful. Thanks a lot!

What Girls Said 3

  • Bigger penis/more attractive means nothing as far as how good sex can be. Also what did you specifically ask, because having a bigger penis does not automatically make somebody more attractive.

    Did she go on to reassure you? That she still liked you a lot and everything?

    You have to remember that there is a reason she is with YOU not any of those guys. Don't worry about comparing yourself to other guys she has been with. Every sexual experience is so different so hard to compare - it is hard to say what is "better" anyways.

    Stop worrying - this could scare her off more than anything. A girl wants a confident guy.

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  • Get out now and start new with someone else. Someone who hasn't seen your insecurities front and center.

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  • you vs the guy they tell you not to worry about

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What Guys Said 2

  • Just keep improving yourself a little bit all the time and soon you'll be better then most of them.

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  • Most girls have fucked at least one guy with a 7 inch dick so unless you are over 7 inches yourself, it is pretty much guaranteed that any girl you date has had someone bigger and better.

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