My boyfriend said he's bisexual?

[Anonymous]

Should I be with a guy who's bisexual or is he just going to turn out to be gay? He says he loves me all the time and says I'm amazing but I feel insecure. I honestly don't like him as much now because I know he likes boys too... I feel like I'm in competition with boys and girls because he has so many friends that he texts and snapchats. Most of them are girls. I used to get mad about that because I thought he liked those girls since he has Snapchat streaks with them and always messaged them but now I feel like I have to worry about the boys too. It makes me feel less attractive knowing that he thinks boys are attractive too. He's also said sometimes he feels straight, sometimes he feels bi and sometimes he feels gay. That last one freaked me out; if he feels full on gay, then he can't possibly love me or be sexually attracted to me, which makes me feel bad about myself. I don't want to waste my time with a guy who is gay. What should I do?

[AUTiger7222]

I think you need to be completely open and honest about how you feel. Give yourself and him the chance to get everyone out in the open. Don't pretend to be content and carefree about this situation if that's not how you really feel. in my opinion that's a form of lying and we all know the truth eventually comes out. He'll be hurt if he knows that you've been lying about how you really feel. So talk to him, get his full attention, get him to listen and then you listen. Give him a chance to explain anything. I know you each will have questions about how the other feels about it. So be completely honest and open about it.

[Chilled_Eyes]

You should just ask him about his sexuality , as in how does he know? It could be he's just bi maybe he's just curious or he's just not against the idea. I understand your insecurities I don't think I'd be comfortable dating a woman that finds other women attractive.

[Asker]

I feel bad asking about it a lot because when he first told me, it was face to face to I couldn't really object to it. I told him on the spot that I was totally okay with it but now when I think about it, I have so many questions and I'm not very comfortable with it

[Chilled_Eyes]

I can imagine it's kind of hard to swallow I mean in my case if my girlfriend was bisexual, why would she find me attractive I'm a man if she finds women attractive what does that say about me? Am I not masculine enough? Does she fantasies about women while we're having sex or?

[Asker]

Things like that, yeah. That's what makes me feel bad about myself and I'm already insecure as it is, but now I feel like he might have crushes on guys

[Cool4ever5]

He sounds confussed when really he is just bi he wants both regardless of where its stronger at. Thats hard, i know. Im glad he was honest with you tho and yes he can still love you and be bi. has nothing to do with love. its lust.

Now does he not get intimate with you much like you feel rejected or like your asking for it more? does he go down and do those things to make you feel desirable?

[Asker]

He doesn't initiate anything. I'm only 16 so we haven't had sex but he doesn't even really kiss me or touch me. And I'm pretty shy so I don't initiate things like that, but all my friend's boyfriends always do

[misstalia_95]

Normally I wouldn't say something like this, but you should break up with him. I'm bisexual myself and I can tell you that those of us who are truly bisexual NEVER "feel straight" or "feel gay", we're just bi and that's it. But clearly his sexuality is making you uncomfortable so I would say to leave him. A relationship won't work if one or both of you aren't happy.

[Truegeek91]

You have heard of bi-cycle right? As a bisexual you should know that we have periods where our attraction is stronger to men or stronger to women.

[xxmamichulaxx]

How old is he? He sounds he's confused on whether he's bi or gay , since he feels a different sexual orientation at different times. Lots of young men in the LGBT community are conflicted on what theyre attracted to as teenagers , and this is normal. how long have you two been together also?

[Asker]

He's 17 and we've been together for 7 months. And never had sex. And we barely even kiss either, mostly because I'm shy so I don't go for the plunge but he isn't shy and he doesn't seem to try to do anything else with me

[Truegeek91]

There is something called a bi-cycle if you are bi (well most) and you feel stronger attraction to different genders at various times. He'll get used to it

[ADFSDF1996]

I understand how you feel, stay with him for a while and see how he acts around both men and women. If he shows things you don't like then perhaps you should break up with him but if he clearly shows that he loves you then maybe you should stay with him. However, the choice is up to you.

[Nuala]

I'm bisexual and I know like 3 people that I find attractive, and I'd only actually date one of them... Just because he likes guys and girls doesn't mean he finds a lot of people attractive.

Think about it this way, he could happily date anyone and he decided that you were the best and that's why he's with you.
And no, he's not just going to magically turn gay all of a sudden.

[batesis]

Wow who in the world dumps someone because of their sexuality? Are you out of your mind? Do you expect us guys to accept your foolish behavior of experimentation or bisexuality but you won't accept ours? You women should be ashamed of yourselves, this is why I'm proud to be completely single. Too many close minded closeted whores these days.

[Asker]

What the hell? Where did all of that come from? Women dont expect guys to accept our "foolish behavior", experimentation or bisexuality because not all of us experiments or is bisexual. Most of us aren't. I have nothing to be ashamed of, so you can stop insulting all women and assuming too many of them are closeted whores. And by the way, he didn't tell me he was bisexual when we started dating, he should have told me upfront to begin with instead of backing me into a corner 3 months into our relationship.

[batesis]

He should've told you 2 years into the relationship because, realistically, I've seen a few guys on here complaining how girls are close minded when the minute they told their girlfriend they are bisexual. Their girlfriends basically leaves them and they all get frustrated.

[starbucksjr69]

Just cause he's bi doesn't mean he finds everyone attractive and wants to date them, especially when he trusts you enough to tell you, but yet after knowing, you love him less.

I think he told you cause he loves and trusts you enough. Plus now you can talk about all the hot guys or whatever with your boyfriend, which most girls can't really do with straight guys.

[Asker]

I know what you're saying, but he said he sometimes feels like he's gay. I don't want to be with someone who is gay, I want someone who wants me. You know?

[starbucksjr69]

Someone who wants only you. You should talk to him about it to see how he feels about it (The things you're concerns about) so you can see if he's right or not for you

[oldoldold]

that's what it comes down to. are you willing to share him for his happiness? because he might need it sexually and emotionally one day.

and if you do share him. what part of the relationship remains exclusive. yes for most people it's sex. but not for all.

and if he's allowed other sexual partners who you want to explore / join in to.

in the end I guess the less flexible you are able to see yourself the happier you might be with someone else

[starbucksjr69]

Being bi doesn't always mean you need another person to fit to make yourself more comfortable. That sounds stupid af. Onision let his wife date another woman and I didn't go well

[irishreck]

based from my experiences and what I've seen 8/10 bi guys will be gay. and it sounds like he doesn't know. which means he probably is gay. straight guy wouldn't be considering it ever really

[Asker]

From experience, like people you know?

[irishreck]

Yeah 3 are personally my own friends

[Asker]

So pretty much I should assume that he's gay and I'm just his cover up?

[irishreck]

not necessarily a cover he may not know yet himself but you need to talk to him about the feeling sometimes gay

[Asker]

Okay thanks

[batesis]

@asker why are you following this foolish bafoon's advice? You have a mind of your own, stick with it.

[irishreck]

how am I ignorant? cause my experiences are different that yours, thus creating a different Outlook and perspective on things. by that logic I could easily say you're just as ignorant. opinions are based on own experience. in reality their is no right or wrong answer. and what do women and their sexuality have to do with anything right now.

[batesis]

True, but in reality you shouldn't expect people to change for your own personal benefit. It's either you like him/her or not and you got to respect him/her regardless. Womem who label themselves straight, but in reality they're not, had me wondering.

[irishreck]

I have also wondered that. and correct that's why if it's really a concern she should be addressing him herself.

[batesis]

Seriously gay girls turn me off instantly. If I was dating a girl who thinks she's bi or is in the closet, I'd dump her immediately. I prefer my girls strictly dickly and only that.

[Vijay_Bhaskar]

lol... do you know that over 40% of girls are bisexual... it doesn't mean that they ll turn lesbians... it's love that is keeping you both together... don't let all these thoughts ruin you and your relationship by making him feel bad..

[Rissyanne]

There is no way in hell I would be with a bisexual man.

[Anonymous]

It sounds like he's just bisexual. If it makes you feel insecure you should have an open conversation about it. I'm sure he would be happy to reassure you his friends are just friends. You were obviously into him before to start dating and his biological sexuality would not have changed since then, so I would approach him trust wise just as you would have before. Hope this helps!

[misstalia_95]

Us bisexuals never "feel gay". We don't even identify with the term.

[JSmuve]

Maybe its not the fact that he's bisexual that's problematic. Maybe its that you're impossibly insecure.

[Asker]

What do you mean?

[findingdreamland-1]

Honestly do whatever makes you comfortable. It seems you do not feel comfortable at all.

[User92]

I think stay with him and see how things go from their

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't advise. A mentally unstable person is always risky to be with.

[Dred1614returns]

Most guys like that are just closeted gays.

[Asker]

That's what I'm afraid of

[Anon1256]

@Dred1614returns how about girls? Do you think if girls are like what her boyfriend is, are they closeted gays as well?

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't have a proven with it as long as he don't cheat

[Anonymous]

Breakup, he is not gonna change.

[MrNiceGuy1]

lol i think that he must be fucked up

[John_Doesnt]

He's not bi, he's gay.

[John_Doesnt]

@batesis that was an unsmart response and very childish.

[batesis]

It maybe childish but you are completely dumb, "unsmart"? is that even a word?

[John_Doesnt]

@batesis there's nothing wrong with being gay. You sir are very intolerant of homosexuals and should be ashamed.

[batesis]

I hate people who actually uses the word "gay" as an insult. What if he's actually bi? What if he likes both boys and girls? I'm sure he's dating the girl, the op of this thread, isn't he? You're assumptions of him being gay are incredibly flawed, both guys and girls are as likely to be bisexual because we're human beings. Don't you worry, no one will ever touch your ugly ass with a 10-ft pole again.

[batesis]

If you got a serious problem of her boyfriend being bi, you sir need to see the psychologist.

[John_Doesnt]

@batesis I don't have a problem with her boyfriend being bi, I am stating that he's probably gay and not bi. You just seem to have started hurling insults at me for no reason. You sound butthurt over the fact I am giving advice that her SO could be gay instead of bi.

[batesis]

He's dating the girl, how is he gay? I've known some guys who went gay/came out and I also know some guys who are actually bi and have remained bi for all their lives but are in heterosexual relationships. The same goes for women I bet, not all men are attracted to lesbianism or lesbian porn for that matter and one of those guys is me.

[batesis]

It's cool to see hot girls making out but it's not enticing for me at all.

[BeingandTime]

He's a cuck. Get a real man. There's your answer.

[OfDeath]

It's not ideal