He asked me out. He kissed me, but he hasn't called. Why?

So, I met this guy online, and we emailed for about a month before he asked if I wanted to 'catch up'. So, Friday night past we met up and went to a bar and had a few drinks. We talked a lot and found we had quite a bit in common, laughing and joking and generally having a good time. He complimented me a a fair bit. (eg. When we were walking away from the bar, he noted that I sort of "strutted" I denied it, in a flirty manner but he said "no, no. I like that you strut. really" and kept telling me I was a lot of fun and cute)

So the date ended and he said he was really glad we met up and such and then he kissed me, really passionately. and said he would call me. So I left the evening feeling pretty positive he was interested and that he would stick to his word and call me. It is now Sunday at 10:35pm and I haven't heard from him. Should he have called by now? What does it mean that he hasn't?

Should I wait a few more days and send him a text or will that seem clingy?

Today I texted him being casual and basically asking if he would like to catch up again sometime. That was at 2pm. it's now 7pm and he has yet to respond. So I guess that's that.Thank you everyone for your helpful advice. Guess it wasn't meant to be.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Girls always initiate relationships. Even if the guy is the one who approaches the girl, the girl has given the guy permission to approach (she got noticed). Well, maybe not... in which case she's likely to say WTF? You're the girl and it's your job to initiate the conversation. I also disagree with these other people. Tell him you had fun the other night. Well, maybe not directly... but... you could be like... so, did you have fun Friday night? He'll probably say yes and ask if you did... and you'll say yes. Maybe comment on something funny that happened. NOT something to embarrass him though. You both have to find it funny. Dating is like a game where the guy either wins or loses. If you had a good time then he won. If you're no longer seeing each other then he lost. You should text him and let him know that he won. That will make him want to play again (second date).


What Guys Said 8

  • You never know what could have become of him. But great advise to be proactive and you call him. If he doesn't respond which he didn't than if you want sure try it again maybe, but really things are the way they are. Best of luck.

  • It's simple. By not calling you back for a while, he's caused you to think about him ever since your date. He also wants to seem busy. While it's entirely possible that he was at home all weekend doing nothing in particular, he wouldn't want you to know that. It's pretty likely that he'll call you sometime this week if he's interested. Certainly by Friday I imagine.

    You should call him before that though. By telling you that he'll call you, he takes a position of power. You are forced to wait for him to call instead of the other way around. If you call him before he calls you, you end up on an even level with him. Don't mention the date or anything, but just call him about something random just to talk to him. An email or a text would be good too, but neither is as effective as a phone call because they're both much easier to ignore...

    Point is, he'll probably call you by Friday either way, but you should probably call him before then.

  • he's either busy, playing hard to get or not into you (doubtful since you two had a nice time together) so odds are he will contact you eventually.. it's only been two days. if he doesn't contact you by wed or thurs send him a text or something.. its OK if you initiate

  • hug//it happens like you said not ment to be. hm..i only gotten close to two people..from the net one..was like what ever..didnt go well and the other was great. just she live down in mexico. so we went it as mature adults. yeah ups and down and so on

  • hug

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What Girls Said 6

  • he obviously never wantd anything to serious just a one night thing.. don't worry, you can do a lot better.

  • A lot of men believe in the 'three-day rule', i.e. if they don't wait for at least three days then they will appear desperate. Ridiculous, I know, but that's men for you! Your date was on Friday and it's only been two days, I wouldn't worry too much.

    When you do hear from him, sound happy to hear from him, not resentful that he took so long. It should seem like you've been so busy with your crazy hectic life that you hadn't even had the time to think about him!

    If you haven't heard from him by Thursday/Friday, then you CAN send a text message/email to him - as long as it is one that doesn't require a response. For example, send him a link to a music video, and say something like: 'This is one of the songs from that band we were talking about... enjoy! :)' It is important that your message doesn't contain any questions. That way, if he replies, you know he is interested and not just being polite. However if his reply is a simple 'thanks' without further conversation being intiated, then chances are he isn't as interested as you thought, and you should start looking elsewhere.

    • I used to believe in the three day rule too, but girls get all p*ssy if you don't call them right away and think you don't like them... so I'll call them the next day.

  • give him time. I have found that some guys like to wait a few days

  • Uhmm he is testing you. Be patient and only because he doesn't text you back 5 hours later doesn't mean its a lost cause. You should show him you are having fun, not clingy and he is the last thing on your mind. Guys like that a lot more!

  • I basically had the same experience that you did on your date. It has been a little over a week and I have not heard from him. I did though texted him and called him and received no answer so in my case I think it is over. I hope it works for you. I hate all these games. If you want to see me again in the future, say so. If not then say that or if you are not sure say that. Don't just say you are going to call and then never call. That is just rude! I don't see the big deal in just letting the other person know what they are thinking. If you don't want to say it in person or on the phone, then text or email the other person is that too hard. Does anyone have any comments on what I said?

    • I completely agree. My work friends today convinced me to send him a message and I said" Hi . It's Gem. Just wanted to see how your week is going. I had fun the other night and wanted to know if you'd like to catch up again sometime" and that was at 2.00pm it's now 7pm. So I think it's pretty clear he's lost all interest or didn't have any to begin with. But I can't understand why he'd say he would call if he had no intention to.

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