here are the details in a nutshell... been dating a guy almost 3 months. he is 48. I am 41. We are really attracted to each other and in the time we have known each other we have probably been out about 25 times. in the beginning he came charging at me out of the gate... making future plans etc, etc.. he slowed it down but it felt awful because he never explained why he was pulling away. I know now that it was to get to know me better. he told me that the other night. we usually text at least once a day. sometimes initiated by me and sometimes by him. we talk on the phone randomly.. maybe once or twice a week. we are sexually intimate.
so, we go out last Thursday night and I basically tried to have the exclusive talk... unfortunately it went completely awful due to the fact that we were drinking a bit... I think me more than him. I definitely came off as needy, insecure etc... I basically made it about sex and not about the relationship. the night ended on an okay note, but by the next morning he was not happy with me..we texted a little bit but he was very curt. I texted him a couple of times over the weekend and heard very little. I could tell from the tone of the text that he was not happy. I asked him if he wanted to talk and he just kept ignoring me.
Finally on Sunday I sent him a nice text that he finally replied to.. here is what I wrote..
"I'm trying to give you space to think about things.. I just wanted to let you know that I miss you and am sorry for upsetting you. "
he wrote: It's not that I am upset..i just think we are at different places in the relationship. I like you a lot and enjoy going out, but it seems like you want more than that..
I replied " I completely respect your feelings . I like you a lot also so hopefully we can figure this out. "
Did he break up with me? I know I need to discuss this at some point but I'm not sure where he stands. it is so not obvious to me and it seems like he isn't even sure. I am just not going to contact him right now. is there a certain point I should contact him or just let it lie and see what happens?
HELP! I clearly don't get men...
Most Helpful Girl
I don't think he broke up with you. Probably he wanted a serious relationship with you but you gave him a mixed signal. i.e. ."i just think we are at different places in the relationship" or he might have thought you were only in for intimate relationship i.e "I basically made it about sex and not about the relationship.". I think he still want to connect with you but taking it slow...for now. May be it would be a good idea to call him and talk about where the relationship is going...heart to heart talk.0