Would girls think it's pathetic that a 27-year-old guy hasn't had a date/kissed a girl?

I've always been very shy socially, never making any very close friends (the kind you hang out with all the time). I never went to many parties, I've just always been kinda socially awkward, which I hate because I've always wanted to be the kind of guy that could easily meet new people/girls and have fun in social situations but I usually try to avoid them because I feel uncomfortable. This situation is even more enhanced when it came to girls, I've only ever really asked out one girl (that I genuinely liked, about 2 years ago) and I got shot down.

It's not that I'm so afraid of women I can't talk to them, I've worked with cute girls at temp-jobs and in college, I just seem to be socially inept; I can't seem to be comfortable enough in social situations to meet and talk to people/girls.

Now I've gone through college and am 27 and still have not even kissed a girl, and I feel like I'm wearing that fact as a red flag. And now I'm paranoid that girls my age are expecting a guy that has experience in relationships, sex, socializing, etc. so how do I handle all of it for the first time at such an older age than normal? I feel pathetic when I see teenagers who have had more romantic relationships than I have...


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Most Helpful Girl

  • 1. Would girls think it's pathetic that a 27-year-old guy hasn't had a date/kissed a girl?

    Not pathetic just unusual.

    If he hasn't kissed/date a girl and it's not by choice like religion or chastity standards he set he's unusual because that meant through circumstance the opportunity never came up.

    I'd expect him to be socially inept, socially awkward, have few friends.

    2. so how do I handle all of it for the first time at such an older age than normal?

    Date 16-20 year olds they have a thing for older guys and you'd feel more comfortable since you're older than them.

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What Girls Said 7

  • Honestly, a girl is flattered to be someones first kiss. Not to sound like a Jesus freak... but maybe God is saving someone special for you:) just think of it that way, my mother didn't get married till she was 44.. of course she already had me but that's not the point! you'll find someone:)

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  • I think that's quite sweet and I would worry about it. I mean your probably more likely to get married and have kids when you meet someone. Women like shy guys and men who don't brag about how many girls they have had. You will meet someone eventually and so you don't rush into anything .

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  • I think it depends solely on the girl, but most people will see as unusual and an excuse to get to know you better. I think it's actually kind of sweet! I would recommend dating online for you. But before that, try working on you approach to people- men and women. Try to make close friends with like-minded people. I think your only downfall is you seem like a person who is unwilling to open up a little.

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  • yes

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    • ouch.

    • Hey dude...don't worry...that is not pathetic at all...you are totally fine.Don't listen to the haters...especially the ones that are anonymous users...

  • "And now I'm paranoid that girls my age are expecting a guy that has experience in relationships, sex, socializing, etc." That is not true, a good girl will not judge you based on how many sexual partners you have, zero or otherwise...

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    • Believe it or not there is more to you than how much sex you had.

    • or didn't have

  • I would not think you were pathetic, but I would not be able to see you as a romantic partner because I am outgoing and date guys who are like me.

    My brother is like you and has had only 1 girlfriend that he got in his late 30's. He is socially awkward and would go for girls that were putting him in the friend zone. He would not get the fact that these girls (usually just rebounding from a breakup) were enjoying him as a friend and a confidant and had no romantic interest in him. I think a guy in your situation is perfect for a girl who is also a bit socially awkward and inexperienced. Your counterpart is out there it just may take a bit more time to find her.

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  • nope its not weird.its kinda of cute and attractive. you could try online dating.

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What Guys Said 5

  • You shouldn't feel bad, although highly unusual, you should just have an attitude or aura of being already experienced by this time at your age and I wouldn't even tell girls about it. And kissing is surprisingly simple dude, when you make out just tilt your head the opposite direction her head is, and if her upper lip is up, put your upper lip in between and vice versa, you'll figure it out, if you slabber everywhere just come up with an excuse, be like "sorry, your delicious lips make my mouth water" but for God's sake don't tell her you never kissed a girl.

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    • lmao @ "for God's sake don't tell her you never kissed a girl"

      what if the girl appreciates that she's his first kiss? lol

    • lmao, you say that but watch your gut reaction change when you are 27 and with a guy whose still a virgin and never been kissed,

      saying that only works when you're like 15 or 16. come on!

  • Pathatic? Not pathetic. Unfortunate maybe but only if it's because you wanted otherwise.

    In many ways I can relate with what you say. Except... "but I usually try to avoid them because I feel uncomfortable." I never did that. Never avoided situations but it didn't help anyhow. I would be the resident wallflower.

    > am 27 and still have not even kissed a girl

    I guess I lucked out there. This one girl and I were having brain surgery (this was back in 1984) and met in the hospital. That's when we started dating. She was the first girl I kissed at age 17.

    But such is the case for me. I had to be in a desperate situation for things to happen.

    But I was 28 before I met the girl that I'd barrie. She realized that I didn't have much experience with kissing and even less experience with sex She let me know what she liked and what felt good and things fell into place. She didn't expect me to "know" everything.

    But you see it's not the end. True I've had the occasional girlfriend when I was younger but I didn't meet my soul mate until I was about your age. Relax and best wishes.

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  • Time to start taking chances my friend. you can't wait forever. Some things in life won't come to you...you have to go and get em.

    A nice piece of ass or a girlfriend...or both. You have to go and try.

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  • I mean it its kind of pathetic, cause I mean your 27 and a virgin, cause in college their are a lot of freaks just walking around just pick one up, you have to go up to girls and talk to them, cause if you are shy you will never get any action sorry man , just being real cause all guys will tell you this. I learn that for my self.

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  • Chatting online is good practice to start with.

    But talking to girls in person is better!

    Just fake it till you make it. (if girls expect you to be more experienced)

    You'll only get experience if you try!

    Causally got out with girls as if they your buds.

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